Finding My Way Home
by Em Dixon
Summary: Amidst the first major crises after the war, Katara tries to keep a promise she made five years ago. Along the way, she finds that home isn't quite where she thought it was. Part 2 of The Chase.
1. In The Year I Missed You

…And thank Sokka for the jerky, will you? I forgot to do it in my last letter to him.

I'm apologizing now for the way the rest of this letter looks. I had a hard time writing this, but it needs to be said.

Katara, I made a promise to you that I can't keep right now. I messed up, bad. Maybe worse than I've ever messed up before, and I need to make that right, first. If Ba Sing Se is shattered because of riots, who knows what might happen. I don't want to wake up every morning and think that I could have changed things if only I had my priorities straight. It's time for me to be the Fire Lord. Agni knows I've been negligent enough. It's just like Uncle said; one pebble cast into the pond can start the ripples that will become the tidal wave that will destroy the village. I'm terrified that the pebble was abandoning the capital to go on that mission, and that the first ripple was the council deciding not to supply troops to Ba Sing Se's Civilian Defense Force. I need people to see that these decisions are coming from me and no one else. I need the world to understand that I'm still dedicated to restoring balance and peace, and I need them to understand that I'll do whatever it takes.

I just need a little more time. Can you give me that?

Don't hate me,

Zuko

.O.

Zuko,

I can wait. I've waited this long. What's another year, right? We'll just be a year older. Just understand that you're not the only one who's promising things, and I'm running out of excuses for turning away those promises. There are times when they don't even make the promise to me, but to Dad, and they are sounding very tempting to him.

Reconstruction at the South is complete, but there's still a lot of building going on. We're more than just one small city. We've expanded closer to the mountains, and the port's up and running. We have our own massive gate like they do at the North, but ours is better, of course. I wish you could see it. The South is a beautiful city, and we're welcoming people from all over. Pakku's teaching at the school for waterbenders, and when I'm there, I help out, too. I'm passing on the Southern style to a new generation, and we even have a school to teach healing to anyone willing to learn. We get a lot of sailors coming in, needing to know how to treat some of the more common medical conditions they might come in contact with.

The downside is that, since the South entered politics like the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, people are expecting a political marriage to seal one deal or another. Ever since Aang and I broke up for good, people have been talking to Dad about it more. They promise things that could help the tribe. He doesn't want to give me away like a commodity, but even I'm tempted by the things they're offering. It might not be in my hands anymore.

I'll tell Sokka you're thankful for that stupid jerky.

Katara

.O.

Katara don't be mad at me. Uncross your arms and stop snapping at people. I know that's what you've been doing, and no, Sokka didn't tell me. Your letter was dripping with disappointment. I've made some very unpopular moves with my council, and I don't want you dragged into it. I've got things straightened out, and I'm sending 1,000 soldiers, healers, and volunteers to Ba Sing Se along with food and medical supplies. Even though the worst seems to be over now, I'm hoping they can do some good. Hopefully, they can help prevent further riots. I've also offered asylum and shelter to anyone leaving Ba Sing Se.

I had to strip my council of some authority to do all of this. I'm not their favorite person right now, and they'll leverage you against me. They're angry and bitter, and their pride has been wounded. They've effectively been demoted. I need to sign off on every decision they make, and now I'm the only one who can make laws. Most of them can be trusted to do the right thing, but there are a few who are troublemakers. If I could get rid of them, I would, but I need their financial support and their expertise. You would become a pawn in their bid to get their power back, and they would hold you over me like a prize if I give in to their wishes. I won't have that. You are not their pawn.

I'm the only who's promised and can deliver to the satisfaction of all parties. You mean so much to me. We're loyal to our homes and our people, and I understand that you have to do what's best for yours just like I have to do what's best for mine. It's not fair for me to ask you to put everything on hold for me. I'm having a really hard time writing this, and I'm going to stop before things start to sound stupid and jumbled. I'm trying. Please understand that.

The jerky's not stupid. It's delicious.

Don't hate me,

Zuko

.O.

Didn't I already say I don't hate you? Can you drop that already? Yes, I have been snapping at people, yes I'm disappointed. You talk big, and when you get around to it, you deliver. You got my hopes up, Zuko, and I thought things might be different. That maybe we could make a difference like we used to. I thought that I would be there helping you make the tough decisions, and that you would rely on me for more than just the occasional letter than needs to be edited for your foul language before being sent to someone who still hates you because you used to be an Angry Jerk. I guess not.

Sometimes I feel like the world around me is changing, and I can't quite comprehend it. Like so much is just out of my reach. The air here is tense. We've taken some refugees, too, and the things they say just sends chills down my spine. Of all the places I expected to have trouble after the war, I never thought it would be Ba Sing Se. But when I think about it now, I guess that makes sense. They didn't have a king for nearly two years, and once people learned the truth behind the war, they were understandably upset. They don't trust those in power anymore. When I hear them talk about the riots, it makes me think of the war, and the dreams start up again. I guess that's part of the reason I've been snapping at people. Sokka understands. We talk through things sometimes. Dad tried to help by giving me warm milk like he used to when I was little, and he got mad when I asked if he could put whisky in it. Suki thought it was funny, but Sokka's a good brother. He just brought me the bottle, and we talked.

I'm sorry. I know you've got to deal with Ba Sing Se, and you should. Your country needs to come first, and peace comes first. We both know that. I just miss you. A lot. I can't believe how jealous I get just watching Sokka and Suki together. It's not fair. I got carried away in the idea of it all. You know how I get when I start daydreaming. I planned my _dress_, Zuko, and it's beautiful.

Katara

.O.

I talk big and I deliver big. You know this. If we were having this conversation in person, I'd wink at you, and you'd smile. I hope you're smiling now. And that was very mean of you, to talk about my letter writing skills like that. My feelings are hurt. I know how to be professional. Your helping me with my letters is more appreciated than you know, especially when it came to Ba Sing Se. They didn't trust me, but they were willing to work with me because you were at my side. In a way, it's because of you that I've got a working relationship with both the Earth Kingdom and the North. They listened to Aang because he is the Avatar, but they also know he's friendly and believes the best about anyone. He can afford to take chances that they can't. But when you said I'd changed, Katara (Sokka, Toph, and Suki, too, I guess), that made all the difference. Aang's not grounded by much, but you have a home to protect. You wouldn't tell them I'm trustworthy if you didn't think I was. Come back so I can properly thank you.

Did you get Hau's latest letter? Tell me things are looking up. Aang let me read the letter our roadblock sent him, but I accidentally burned half of it. It was a real accident, not just an excuse. Things are tense here, too, between the influx of refugees and the citizens and higher taxes on the wealthy, and I guess I just didn't realize I was getting so angry. I can't believe how willing he is to work with you guys just because he thinks I'm out of the picture. That man is irrational. I don't like Chem being so close to my mother. I don't want her to think I'm some sort of monster. I'm afraid that she'll hate me and not understand that I'm ashamed of the things I've done.

I feel like too much is out of my control, too, sometimes. It might be mean to say this, but it's like the refugees travel with a dark cloud over them, and that darkness settles where they settle. Some of them have flat out said they came to the Fire Nation because we owed them for all the destruction. They're trying to live off charity, and it's not going over well with a lot of the citizens. Many in the middle classes don't mind helping, but they don't like feeling that they're being take advantage of, either. I'm glad you have Sokka to talk to. I wish I could be there for you. And hide this bottle from your dad. I don't think he'll appreciate me sending you whiskey. And I need my shirt back. I liked that one.

Azula came home from the hospital today. Ty Lee requested leave from the Kiyoshi warriors to help her settle in, and Azula and Toph spend a lot of time together, too. I'm not sure letting Azula and Toph spend time together, supervised only by Ty Lee is such a good thing. I send a guard with them, but it's unfair for the people who have to watch them. I'm afraid those three might sink the Fire Nation into the ocean. Toph did nearly collapse our entire economy a year after the war, remember? There's no need to worry about the room situation. She doesn't want her old room back. She says you can keep it. You're a total princess, anyway.

Forever yours,

Zuko

.O.

Ugh, Zuko. I'm starting to think you're more like a giant koalaotter than a polar leopard. You've got a nasty bite, but you're just one giant cuddly thing. Thank you so much for the dress, it's stunning. And the jewelry. Suki is so jealous. I have properly hidden the whiskey from my dad. You give the best gifts, hands down. I'll have to bring them with me so you can see me in them. I'm damn gorgeous. Also, Sokka was threatening to beat you up again. He thinks you messed up big time to send me such nice gifts. Gran thinks you have good taste, and everything was going fine until Pakku mentioned how I always seemed to come back with new things when I visit you and that you must be showering me with lots of things because I also get gifts when I haven't seen you for a long time. Then Dad got this look, and I could have kicked Pakku in his face. I love the old man, I do, but now I think Dad's starting to get suspicious of your generous gift giving.

There is good news. Sokka, in his infinite wisdom and with a lot of help from Suki, might have found a stable way around our most loveable roadblock. You'll have to wait until I get there before I tell you more about it. You're going to flip.

It's so great that Azula's home! I'm sure she'll fall into a stable routine soon. She's probably just getting used to all the changes. Home from the hospital. Sounds like a newborn baby. Don't tell her I said that, though. She'll hate it. There's no way I could forget Toph's Accident. You were so mad at her, but I think she learned her lesson, and I'm pretty sure the Fire Nation is better off without those factories. And the new port does look a lot better than the old one. It's bigger and more accessible, too.

You're damn right I'm a princess. You better treat me like one. And I hope you like that shirt on me, because that's the only way you'll see it again.

I'll see you in a few weeks!

Forever the dominant one,

Katara

.O.

Get real, princess. We all know who wears the pants, and it most certainly is not you. If I had my way, you wouldn't ever wear pants again. And don't call me a thing.

I eagerly await your arrival, my lady. There shall be no sweeter time.

* * *

><p>AN: I may differ from a lot of people in my opinion of this, but I've always seen the Avatar as being without real political power. While he may be the ultimate peace keeper, I see Aang as little more than a glorified mediator; he holds no political office, can make no laws, and serves only one 'term.' Respect for the Avatar comes from his power; without that power and the threat of that power being used against them if they get out of line, I don't think people would particularly listen to the Avatar. The real work, I believe, will be done by the new wave of politicians—the Gaang (minus Aang) and those who think like them. These are people with real political power and lasting positions that would help them force, in a way, reform. That's not to take away from the influence of the Avatar. I think his presence is a comfort to many people, and it helps to have someone who's unbiased and has the world's best interests in heart. This is something the Avatar can do that the leaders of the other nations can't—by oath, they _must_ put their nations above others. The Avatar isn't constrained in the same way.

This story also became about growing up and accepting responsibility. While that did happen in the show, I've come to think of this as a second wave. With each stage in my life, for example, I've had to accept a new wave of responsibility, and those responsibilities necessarily changed. The same is true for the Gaang. They're all finally settling into themselves (more or less), and finding out just what kind of person they really want to be. As they march toward their twenties, with the exception of Toph and Aang, I imagine them slowly settling into the people they will be. And Zuko slips a little more toward being his uncle...


	2. You've Grown So Much

Katara leaned over the railing of the ship. They were almost at the dock in the Fire Nation's capitol. She didn't try to suppress the giddiness that fluttered in her stomach at the thought of seeing Zuko again. It had been two years since their secret ninja mission to find Ursa, and she knew Zuko was going stir crazy. He was cooped up in the palace doing his Fire Lordy business, and it was killing him to have his mother think he'd given her up for dead, if word did manage to get to her. In nearly every letter, he asked about the progress they'd made, if they'd found someone willing to talk to them, if Chem was still an ass.

Katara closed her eyes and leaned into the wind. Her dearest Zuko. Whatever else she may be, Toph definitely had her moments of genius. It had been her plan for Zuko to say he'd given up looking for his mother, assuming her to be dead, in the hopes of getting around Chem, or at the least getting him to be more cooperative. It was clear that Chem preferred to work with Katara, and given their conversation, it was quite obvious why. He thought she was the one who'd be able to 'control' Zuko, that she would act as some sort of barrier between the pure evil that was the Fire Nation royal family and the rest of the world. Without Zuko there, Chem could go on spewing his madness and failing to seduce her into betraying Zuko with his words; he felt more comfortable 'releasing the Lady Mother into the custody of one not so warped by Sozin's hand.' In other words, Katara and particularly, the Avatar. Toph said to fight Chem Logic with Chem Logic, and they did just that. Knowing that Chem was being more cooperative pissed Zuko off. He was smug when she told him that Chem had no idea where Ursa was, either.

Katara frowned. Thoughts of Chem inevitably led back to that moment when he tried to tell her that Zuko wasn't the person she thought. She knew Zuko, knew him better probably than even his own uncle. She listened patiently to the things Chem said, and promptly did her best to forget them once he stopped talking.

"We'll be docking in a few minutes, Ambassador Katara. You might want to gather your things."

Katara nodded at the crewman, and headed below deck to gather her travel bags. Technically, she was supposed to be on official business, acting as a mediator between the Southern Water Tribe traders and the Fire Nation merchants in a large transaction. But there was always time for a little unofficial pleasure.

Zuko was waiting for her when she got off the boat, tall and sleek and smirking with his hands in his pockets and the late winter wind ruffling his hair, pulling strands out of his topknot with his crown firmly in place. There was a small guard of five armed men and women a short distance behind him. She recognized a few of them as crew members who'd served with him during his banishment. Zuko had given them all serious promotions, making them part of his personal guard, and naming Jee a general, and Captain of the Guard in charge of the city's reformed police force. She was too busy focusing on the one being guarded for it to register just how unusual it was for Zuko to leave the palace with a visible guard. And armed, too.

"Hey there," Zuko said, opening his arms to her.

She dropped her packs and threw her arms around his neck, resisting the urge to throw her legs around his waist and kiss him, ignoring the people on the busy dock who looked and chuckled, seeing nothing more than two old friends glad to be reunited after a year apart. But it was more than that. They'd learned to infuse simple gestures with more meaning than they had any right to have. It was in the way he tightened his arms around her waist, supporting her weight as he lifted her feet off the ground, much easier than he had a year ago. It was in the way she buried her face in his neck, taking in the smell of him, spicy and cinnamony with that hint of nutmeg that said he'd eaten more of his favorite custard dessert. It was in the way his lips ever so slightly grazed her neck, making her eyes flutter closed.

They held each other closely even after her feet were firmly on the ground, and when they finally broke apart, he kept his hands on her shoulders as he looked at her, smiling openly. Spirits, he had a beautiful smile, and it was great to see him smile without any restraints or hesitation. It was still that cocky little lopsided smile, but it was so him. So Zuko. She gave his arms a squeeze, noticed there was more definition there than she remembered. She was just about to ask if he'd been working out again when he spoke first.

"Did Sokka give you the jerky?"

Then he had to go and open his mouth. Her face dropped, and his guards chuckled as she punched him in the shoulder.

"What if I ate all your stupid seal jerky?" She shoved her packs in his hands.

"Then I'd be very sad." He draped his arm around her shoulder, and she kept her hands at her sides so she wouldn't lace her fingers with his. "I'd have to punish you," he said under his breath in a husky purr, and it sent chills down her spine.

"How's Azula?" she asked, trying to draw her mind back to reality.

Zuko shrugged. She'd spent the past five years recovering in a mental hospital, and the progress had been slow at first. Zuko would visit every week, stayed constant and true to his sister even though she raged and threw his kindness in his face. He continued to visit her when she became delusional and thought both Ursa and Ozai were visiting her, and she stopped talking the second year. He kept up that weekly schedule, and it was finally him who broke Azula, with two words, giving her all the acknowledgment Ozai never had, and slowly, she opened up. She changed. He'd worked so closely with the staff to make sure she was treated well and fed, and given some amount of dignity and control over her own space.

Katara swallowed hard. Zuko had invested a lot in Azula's recovery, and Katara suspected it was just as much for his own healing as for his sister's. If Azula got better, he'd have one more family member, and it would prove that whatever Ozai did could be undone. Not just in Azula, but in him as well. He only ever talked about it to her once, but she knew 'that dream about Ozai in the prison' scared him, the way he couldn't suppress his anger even in an imagined environment, the fear that this anger might spill over into his waking hours. She squeezed his hand.

"She's better, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. Ty Lee helps a lot. She laughed the other day. Which was nice. She makes me think of mom."

"Oh? What'd she laugh at?" Katara deliberately chose not to respond to the remark about his mother. Strolling through the capitol wasn't exactly the most appropriate place for that conversation.

Zuko cringed, removing his arm and his warmth from her shoulder. "Toph scammed some people."

"Again?"

"Again."

They lapsed into silence, walking in step, and Katara wondered if people noticed their closeness or the way they moved together. People were certainly watching them. Katara focused on their feet, and took larger steps, encouraging Zuko into his natural longer stride, and he picked up on it, taking bigger steps and smirking and bumping his shoulder into hers.

The capitol was a lot busier than she remembered. People bustled by in blurs of reds, to and from market stalls and homes and businesses. There were also a good number of Earth Kingdom browns, Katara noticed. These must have been the refugees Zuko told her about. But the refugees looked wary of their surroundings, like they knew the red mass around them was hostile. There were more guards wandering around the city, too. Though their stances were relaxed, their eyes were alert, and as Zuko's entourage passed, they gave little nods in his direction, which Zuko's personal guard returned.

Zuko strode confidently through them all, and most people tipped their heads to him—to them—and a few spoke. She and Zuko returned the kind words, and with some, Zuko stopped to ask after a certain person. It felt good to be addressed as a unit; people saw her and Zuko together all the time, and no one seemed to mind. It gave her hope, even though she knew that rumors and close friendship weren't the same as confirmation and a marriage. They might react well to them as friends, but what if they were together romantically?

Still, it was a stark reminder of the differences between his reign and his father's. Zuko really was a Fire Lord of the people. They didn't see him as some god, doling out judgment from on high. They weren't afraid to address him, and though his cute little lopsided smile had faded, he looked content, but exhausted. His guards walked behind them, forming a protective half circle, particularly on Zuko's left side, which was closest to the open market. He made no mention of this to her, and now she had a bit more time to think about it. He hadn't mentioned any personal trouble in his letters, but this had to be a sign that something was amiss.

The palace was packed. There were people milling about outside the throne room where Zuko heard the highest of court cases, and minor government officials in their long robes bowed to Zuko, trying desperately to make eye contact and be acknowledged. Some bowed to Zuko with, if it was possible, their noses in the air. He ignored them all. He stepped out of synch with Katara, walking slightly ahead, and she let him. His shoulders were back and his head was high. He looked commanding, a slight scowl taking over his features. This was his Fire Lord posture, and Katara supposed that he hadn't taken any sort of break to come visit her at the docks. His crown should have given that away.

They were heading upstairs to his personal office, and people parted for them like she parted the water, and on each side they bowed low to Zuko. While it was less crowded upstairs than on the public first floor, the clothing was more elaborate. These were the more important people, and since it was less crowded, she could note their individual expressions. They were challenging, finding their lord distasteful. One woman outright scoffed as Zuko walked past, and Zuko shot her a glare that made the woman back up a few steps and bow properly.

In seamless movements and with a grace Katara could only dream about, her packs were handed to a waiting servant and whisked away, and Zuko collected documents from three different upper level ministers and councilmen and women.

"My Lord Zuko," one stoop shouldered old man said, his hands clasped, trying to keep step with them. "Have you—"

"Save it," Zuko said curtly and harshly, holding up his hand to stop any further discussion. Even though Katara faltered in her stride at his brusqueness, Zuko didn't, moving consistently past the old man in a way that brooked no further discussion.

She followed Zuko to his office, where Mistress Yina, the Iron Maiden, Head of Household Staff, who kept order and secrets, and accepted no excuses, was laying out a light lunch for them. Katara blinked. She knew she was expected, but the timing was just creepy. Probably not hard to figure out, but the way everything was coming together… She squashed that flutter in her heart that whispered Fire Lady.

"Katara's brought more jerky," Zuko said to Yina.

The middle aged woman bowed. "I will see that it is brought to the kitchens, my lord," she said, but she didn't seem too happy about it at all.

She was looking at their very light lunch and casting worried looks at Zuko, occasionally turning to Katara. Katara sighed. Yina had done that before, signal without saying that Zuko's eating habits left much to be desired. The woman wouldn't be able to start that conversation because of her status as a servant, but if Katara asked the questions, she'd have to answer. It was her who took care of the teens after the final battle when they were still numb from the things they'd been forced to do, and the death and resurrection of their friend (or lover). Yina and a few others, like Hau, had taken it upon themselves to look after Zuko, not only as Fire Lord, but as a person, for which Katara was truly thankful. There were times she was sure Zuko would starve to death if someone didn't remind him to eat.

It was cute that he was so dedicated, but if he didn't take care of himself, he wouldn't be around to _be_ dedicated. Katara narrowed her eyes at Zuko, but he was reading through the papers he'd received, probably deliberately avoiding eye contact. Typical. When Yina closed the door behind her, Zuko handed her three schedules. Him and his damned schedules.

"Take your pick," he said handing her the papers, but with his eyes still trained on the sheaves in front of him. "I couldn't decide which one would be better, so I made three different ones. This should accommodate everything nicely. If none of them are satisfactory, we can arrange something else."

Zuko babbled on about her schedule as if she couldn't read it herself while she scanned the paper and munched a bit. She blamed Sokka for Zuko's increased love of seal jerky and schedules. She bet that's all they wrote each other about. Seal jerky, schedules, and weapons. There was space for six meetings, a request for her to attend a meeting about Ba Sing Se, a state dinner, a play, and a meeting with Hau to discuss 'their favorite topic,' which meant marriage.

"We're actually going to talk about our marriage?" Katara asked, incredulous. Then she giggled because she said 'our marriage,' like they were already married, and she covered her cheeks when she blushed with giddiness. It wasn't that she was surprised that he scheduled it…well, she was surprised, but even more surprised that he'd actually planned ahead for this. That he was taking it seriously.

"Yeah," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Hau thinks we should just let people know we're in love, and then get married. He's making it all sound so simple."

Katara ran her foot up the inside of his leg. "Or you're making it harder than it needs to be. You did say the Fire Nation loved a good romance story." She raised an eyebrow in challenge, but he didn't rise to the bait.

"Yeah, and people also love a good tragedy that ends in lots of death and sadness. But that's for later," he said, waving the issue away, pushing her leg down, and going back to his papers. "I forgot to tell you, you just missed Aang. He's been helping with Azula, and he actually got her to apologize for eating all my desserts last week."

"Aw, that's too bad that I missed him," she said. And she meant it. Things had finally stopped being awkward between them after the breakup. They were on good terms again, and that was the way she liked it. "It's good that he's helping Azula, though."

Zuko didn't answer. Now he was writing on his papers. She whacked him with his schedules.

"Zuko! We're having a conversation!"

He started to run his hands through his hair, but remembered he was wearing his crown, if not the mantle. He sighed heavily and ran his hands over his face instead. When he looked at her again, he looked strained. He leaned back in his chair.

"I'm between meetings right now." His voice was quiet, serious. "I told you I was making some unpopular moves, and now I'm dealing with the consequences of having a weakened council. It's better now than right after I overruled the council's decision, stripped them of ultimate policymaking power, and 'suggested' they donate to the Ba Sing Se relief effort. Some of them don't like being held accountable for their actions. During Ozai's reign, the council pretty much controlled domestic law. Occasionally, Ozai would tell him he wants a law that does one thing or another, but he mostly left them alone. I'm still working on fixing all that."

He smiled slightly.

.O.

After she'd picked out her desired schedule, Katara went to her room to bathe and change, and then she went to her preliminary meetings with the Southern Water Tribe traders, but she didn't have much else to do during the day. She'd tried to visit with Iroh and Jun, but Iroh had been too busy at the Fire Nation branch of the Jasmine Dragon. She sat and had a few cups of tea, and tried his new moon peach tea, which was to be a gift for Zuko. Iroh talked freely about plans to bring the Jasmine Dragon to every nation. During the few minutes he could spare her, he quizzed her on the tea drinking habits of the Southern Water Tribe.

Jun, he said, was visiting some friends in the countryside, and wouldn't be back until late that night. She hadn't seen Azula or Ty Lee or Toph, either. Back at the palace, she was told they'd gone on a day trip to Edar City, just west of the capitol. It was a spur of the moment thing, she was told, but they should be back after dinner. Every time she tried to see Zuko after their first meeting, she'd only been sent to one secretary or another, asked if she had official business. The Fire Lord was not to be disturbed by anyone, she was told. Like they didn't know who she was. Like she didn't have free run of the palace like it was her own home. She huffed and glared and put her hands on her hips. They sent Hau to calm her when she stared down a guard twice her size and asked him if he knew who she was in the loudest possible voice, and the man had cringed against the wall, and was put on two weeks leave.

Overall, it was not the way she had expected her day to go.

It did brighten considerably, though, when she opened her bedroom door that evening after a lonely dinner. Zuko was snuggled up under the covers in her bed, waiting for her, half asleep, an empty dessert cup on the nightstand.

He watched her undress. She could tell from that prickly feeling she got between her shoulders. She peeled away one layer after another with more flair than was necessary. She untied the belt that held her shirt closed, and let it slowly drop from her shoulders. When she pulled off her pants, she bent over more than was required, careful not to look at Zuko, pretending this was the way she always took off her clothes. She dreamed of things being this way every night for the rest of her life. Of always coming to find him in her bed, of him walking right in, in front of everyone, rather than using secret passages. She started to put on her heavier nightgown, but with nice toasty Zuko to keep her warm, she wouldn't really need it. She opted for a thin shirt and no pants instead. Zuko pulled back the covers for her, and she slipped between the soft fabric.

Zuko immediately pulled her close to him, and she barely had time to wrap her arms around his neck before his mouth was on hers, and her eyes closed. His kiss was insistent and slightly rough and needy, his lips firm against hers, his body molded against hers, and he ran his tongue across her lips, and she obliged, tossing her leg over his hip, pulling him closer. It felt good to be pressed so close to him and breathe him and feel him. Katara grabbed a fistful of his hair as she fought for dominance in their kiss. It was an old dance, but neither seemed to tire of it.

"I missed you, too," she said, her lips still tingling as he ran his fingers up the back of her leg.

She caressed the familiar planes of his face, and he closed his eyes at her touch. He kissed her fingers as she traced his lips, and she replaced her fingers with her lips. Little quick kisses that frustrated him and made him smile.

"I'm sorry if I was distant today," he said, nuzzling her neck. "It wasn't a good day. The council was trying to appeal for a return of their power, but it's not happening. I'm the Fire Lord, and I need to be in control of all important decisions—"

"No politics in bed, remember?" She put a finger against his lips, and he kissed it, smiling.

They were silent a bit, and it was a good silence. Katara traced the muscles on his arm, and he kissed the top of her head.

"You've gotten bigger," she said.

"Are you calling me fat?" he asked, halting the progression of his hand up her shirt, his thumb brushing the underside of her breast.

If there was any part of the universe that thought Zuko could be fat, it should get its eyes checked. Katara moved her hand up his stomach and over his chest. For a moment, she was envious. There was no way she could eat as many fatty desserts as he did, fatty desserts and seal jerky, and not get all bloated and turn into a giant ball. Yet here he was, more muscled than ever. He shivered under her touch.

"You're taking too long to answer," Zuko said, taking her hand in his.

She kissed his shoulder. "Zuuz, with as many desserts as you eat, I'm surprised you aren't 300 pounds right now. I just meant more muscles. And your hair's longer, too."

He chuckled, and it reminded her of Ozai, not that she'd _ever_ tell him that, especially after that last freakout he had when they got back from looking for his mother. He sounded like Ozai, if someone gave him a dictionary so he could look up the word happy.

"It was a hard year," Zuko said, settling down for sleep, his hands idly roaming over her back and across the curve of her butt. He gave it a squeeze, and she bit her lip. "I had a _lot_ of… I had a lot to work off."

They drifted off to sleep, and Katara didn't drift toward consciousness until around dawn, when the bed shifted behind her, and the softest kiss was placed on her shoulder. If she'd really been awake, she might have thought about how this was the first time they'd been in the bed together when Zuko left for his sunrise meditation. Usually, they'd separated long before then.

* * *

><p>So! Lots of fluff and some stage setting. Then more fluff. But most importantly, there's stage setting. This Zuko feels a bit different from all the other Zuko's I've written. He's not quite 'darker,' but he's certainly very serious, and he's finally taking his job seriously. I've written serious Zuko before, but this just feels...I don't know, heavier? Not sure if it comes across when reading, but I felt it when I was writing, which is weird, because it's not even from his POV. He's got a lot on his plate at the moment, and I'm about to dump more on it. Katara, on the other hand, came out quite a bit lighter than I expected, given the situation. Their personalities ended up complimenting each other, with Katara keeping Zuko from caving too much under the pressure. And some more fluff.<p> 


	3. Looking Under Rocks

If Chem was being honest with himself, this was really getting annoying. He drummed his fingers on the table of the modest Earth Kingdom restaurant as he waited for his food to be delivered. It was as if he was slowly becoming invisible, fading from the world, and he couldn't find anyone who cared. On top of that, Bo was late. And after Chem had promoted him, too.

The past year had not been good to Chem and his friends. After helping the Fire Lord and the ambassador, they'd scattered, but it was getting harder to gather everyone again. He and Bo had gone to Ba Sing Se, thinking it a good place to start looking for the Lady Mother. They'd lived there for a time before, and she might still have had friends willing to talk. They'd quickly become trapped when the fighting started, and they weren't able to make contact with anyone else from the army, which was especially disconcerting when it came to Fei.

Unable to trust Long and Inara with any of his plans, Chem needed new people to fill those spots. He reached out to Fei, the other tracker, and Bo, who already served as something of a second in command. Fei had been charged with gathering information on people likely to support a deposition of the Fire Lord in the case that the ambassador could not keep her lover under control. Fei and Bo knew more about their operations than anyone else, and now Fei had been out of touch with them.

Chem had to admit that Fei's absence likely had more to do with Ba Sing Se's trouble than Fei himself. The gates to each ring were closed, hoping to contain the worst of the fighting in the middle and lower rings, but the angry mob was too large and the post-Dai Li city watch too small. Chem and Bo were staying in the lower ring, and overcroweded conditions felt even more cramped the longer those gates were locked. Garbage had begun piling up, and angry citizens began throwing rotten food at the stone wall. Crime ran rampant; without more guards to freely patrol the lower ring where many of the criminals lived, there was no way to catch and jail thieves. Once, a man found his stolen vase, a family heirloom he'd insisted, in a young woman's house. He'd beaten her pretty badly, only to find out it was her brother who'd stolen it. The brother retaliated, and guards had to leave their posts at the gate to stop the violence.

The initial attack had happened in the middle ring, but it was the lower ring that suffered the most. Chem had watched as tensions grew and the citizens began banging on the gates, and when the guards tried to stop them, the mob turned on those who alleged they were helping. Shop windows were smashed, stores were looted, criminals disappeared without being detected. People were being arrested for suspicions of sedition, and things turned violent when a guard cracked a young man over the head with a bat. The man died in a pathetic hospital, and blood was demanded. The guard was killed by a sniper in a window. Their weapon had been a pebble, and it flew through his head like a knife through pie.

"Ah, Chem," Bo said, finally arriving and plopping down in the chair across from him. "You wanted to meet with me?"

"Yes," Chem said, his eyes narrowed and hands shoved inside his sleeves. "Half an hour ago."

At least Bo had the decency to look admonished. A waitress came over and took Bo's order.

A call for help had gone out-officially, from King Kuei, unofficially from his council. While the guards fought against an angry mob in the lower ring, other guards fought against an angry and well armed mob in the middle ring. The council feared that the two mobs would join and overrun the city, but in closing the gates, they closed off all travel, all access to medical aid, all access to food. One morning, Chem stepped over four dead bodies just to receive his rations.

Other nations raced to answer the call, sending medical supplies and soldiers that would make up the Civilian Defense Force. They bolstered the ranks of the city watch, and with the combined manpower, they were able to get much of the early rioting under control. As soon as the gates were open, people began to flee the city that had once been a haven to refugees during the war. Chem and Bo left with less than they'd entered, bruised from scuffles, their clothes dirty and torn, and their stomachs nearly empty. They left almost everything behind in that house, selling what they could for travel money. They certainly hadn't learned anything about the Lady Mother.

"This looks delicious," Bo said, rubbing his hands together as his food was laid out in front of him. Much to Chem's chagrin, his food arrived, too, even though he'd ordered it half an hour before Bo ordered his.

"What news have you heard?" Chem asked when the waitress left.

"About the Lady Mother, very little. I was able to track down the woman you lived next door to when you were in Ba Sing Se during the war, and she said she'd received a letter from the Lady Mother from the eastern Earth Kingdom. But that was months before the riots."

Chem waved this away. "She was mistaken. It couldn't have been months before the riot. The Lady Mother would have been in the prison with the Phoenix Brigade."

Bo stopped eating and looked at Chem. "Yeah, but she wasn't, was she? We killed all those guys, got some of our best men killed, and she wasn't there."

Chem watched Bo, the minutia of his face, looking for a tick or a twitch that might give away just how exhausted Bo must be. Because Chem refused to believe that Bo, of all people Bo, who had been his right hand, who had been so confident in the rightness of their mission to restore the Fire Nation's name and ensure that it would never again be abused in the way it had, would start to slip down the same path as Long and Inara. That Bo would dishonor the memory of the fallen by implying that their lives were given for nothing, thrown away. They died honorably, fighting to take their country back from a tyrant. Their blood was on the Fire Lord's hands.

Bo understood what Long and Inara did not: peace is not the natural state of the world. The world tends toward chaos and destruction; the very events in Ba Sing Se proved that. There needed to be strong structure and order. There needed to be rules and laws. And control. There must always be control.

"No," Chem chose to say instead. "No, she wasn't there."

"I saw the letter myself, sir. I wanted to hold onto it, but the lady wouldn't let me. I did write down the address, though."

Bo handed him a slip of paper, and Chem read the address. Opo, in the eastern Earth Kingdom. He would need a map to find it.

"Well, this is a start. It is more than we have had in a very long time." He tucked the tiny morsel away inside a pocket. "We will leave tomorrow."

Bo nodded. "I've also reestablished contact with some of the other officers, and they've still been in touch with a lot of our people."

"So Agni doesn't hate us too much after all."

Chem allowed himself a small smile at this. No, Agni had indeed smiled down on them. The degenerate Fire Lord had finally given his mother up for dead, but the Avatar and his friends took up the search where the Fire Lord put it down. Leading it, of course, was the beautiful noose. It was closing in on time to strike. They might not have the Lady Mother Ursa, but some things could swing in their favor.

"Perhaps we should all gather before you and I head off to little Opo in the eastern Earth Kingdom," Chem said. "We should send some people to the Fire Nation to keep an eye on things. I think we can risk that, now."

"Should we send Long and Inara?"

"And let those treacherous things so close to the Fire Lord where they could spill our plans? Never." Chem waved this notion over his shoulder as if it's very thought offended him. "We might as well tell him what we're planning."

"Then why risk sending our people to the Fire Nation?"

"To whisper in the ear of our jailor so that she may whisper into the ear of the prisoner. I have neglected this part of our plan in favor of finding the Lady Mother, but it is clear that without some strong whispering very soon there won't be a Fire Nation to return to."

With the war over, Chem had hoped he would be able to hear his country slighted less and less. Then help started showing up in Ba Sing Se from the North and the South and various kingdom-states of the Earth Kingdom. But no Fire Nation. Simply sending 100 soldiers could have made a difference, and yet nothing was heard. Such anger and disappointment was spewed; it was the reopening of old wounds on many sides, and as the damage reports were read, the deaths tallied and displayed, salt was rubbed vigorously on those gaping and bloody holes.

Yes, help did finally show from the Fire Nation in the form of medical supplies, soldiers, and healers, but that help was too late. Much of the fighting had died down. What little rise in reputation the Fire Nation may have experienced after the war was tainted. Others might speak with relief, but not Chem. Perhaps he did have his eye on conquest; Ba Sing Se fell once before, and with a weak king sitting on the throne and no real strength behind him, there would be little to stop the city from falling again. Military tactics wouldn't even be needed. All he would have to do is wait for the city to turn to chaos and swoop in like some savior, and the people would all bow to him, and no one would question his 'helping' the Earth King. Only years later would people realize the Earth King had golden eyes and a disfigured face.

No, they would not understand the Fire Lord's actions as part of a pattern. How many of them knew that pieces of the Earth Kingdom still belonged to the Fire Nation? Pieces of the Earth Kingdom _outside_ of those territories that had agreed to remain part of the Fire Nation since they'd been governed that way for nearly 100 years. Pieces of the Earth Kingdom conquered by Azulon and Ozai. Pieces still held captive by this new Fire Lord. He could blame the colonies and the hidden war criminals and the abundance of money on his council all he wanted. _He_ was the Fire Lord. They acted on his will as Chem acted on the Lady Mother's.

It was time to have their little bird sing a pleasant song in her lover's ear.

.O.

They were sitting in one of the dining halls for breakfast like an actual family, and Katara couldn't help but smile. Even so far away from the South, it still felt like she was at home. She looked at Zuko, who was sitting to her left. One of the palace secretaries had just delivered his schedule for the day, and his brow was creased as he looked over the day's plan, his chopsticks forgotten halfway between his plate and his mouth. Belatedly, she had realized he didn't eat any lunch that first day, and Yina said he hadn't had dinner, either. Now here he was, avoiding breakfast.

"No wonder Yina's worried," Katara said quietly, so she wouldn't be heard over the chatter of the others. "If this is the way you eat, I'm surprised you haven't wasted away yet."

He smiled and put the paper down, and when he moved his hand, Katara turned it over so he couldn't sneak any peeks at it during breakfast. He raised his hands in a pacifying gesture, as if to say he wouldn't ever dream of defying her. But they knew each other better than that. She kept a firm eye on that little paper, even going so far as to pull it closer to her.

As Fire Lord, Zuko always got to sit at the head of the table in a special comfy chair with a mockup of the Fire Lord's crown, in the place of prominence, but there seemed to be little order other than that. Toph had moved around three times before settling at a spot in the middle of the table, as if testing the comfort of each chair, even though they were the same. Azula sat directly to Zuko's left, and Ty Lee was close by her. Iroh and Jun, just stopping by for breakfast, were a little farther away, giving the younger generation a bit of privacy, but that didn't mean they were paying any less attention. At the moment, Toph and Jun were having a rather spirited debate about the odds of one person or another winning some upcoming tournament, and Ty Lee was talking to Iroh about flowers and their uses and symbols.

Azula, however, was quiet.

"You should eat a little," Zuko said to her. Like he was one to talk.

It was the first time Katara got to actually watch the two of them together, and it was sweet. Zuko was gentle with her, encouraging rather than harsh. Azula slid a red dish over to him. He picked it up and blew a little fire on the top. Crisping the sugar, turning it a dark brown. Like his favorite dessert. Which he was also eating at breakfast.

Katara put her hands on her hips and stared at the side of Zuko's face because he wouldn't look at her.

"You can't let her eat custard for breakfast—"

"He doesn't _let_ me eat anything, you know," Azula said sharply, her eyes snapping to Katara's face. "I can make my own decisions."

The room got quiet, and everyone turned to them. Ty Lee looked frantically between the two of them, but Katara could tell she was more worried about Azula. She lightly stroked her friend's elbow, her eyes roaming, searching for what she knew to be signs that Azula was stressed or uncomfortable.

"I'm sure she didn't mean it like that," Ty Lee said. Then she looked at Katara hopefully.

"Please," Azula said, accepting the dish from Zuko. "We all know she'd die if there was no one to boss around."

Toph let out a short bark of laughter and slammed her hand down on the table. A habit she must have picked up from Jun. Really, she ought to talk to Zuko about that. She liked Jun and all, but she wasn't the best role model for a seventeen year old girl.

"You're being bossy in your head right now, aren't you?" Azula asked, her head tilted sideways. She smiled like she just made a funny joke.

Katara tried to sputter a denial. The world didn't need to know that Azula was right, but Toph bark laughed again, and Jun was looking all too amused.

"Man, and I don't even have to say anything!" Toph downed the rest of her tea and slammed the cup on the table.

"Play nice. _All_ of you," Zuko said, fixing Katara, Azula, and Toph with firm stares. Iroh chuckled quietly to himself.

"I don't need people to baby me," Azula muttered quietly. "I eat when I'm hungry."

She was looking off at some point away from all of them, perhaps retreating into her mind a little. She absently ate the custard, and when she was done, she only nibbled at her food, but that seemed to be enough for Zuko.

It wasn't until they were in his office, having their meeting with Hau, that Katara even realized it.

"She still won't bend?" she asked, somewhat catching Zuko off guard.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "It's been five years now. After that first year in the asylum, she just won't do it, and I'm not going to push her on it. She still feels like her bending is the cause of all her problems, like if she hadn't been a prodigy, Ozai wouldn't have taken a liking to her, and he couldn't have hurt her by calling her a worthless failure when she couldn't beat me."

It was weird to see someone who'd been so in love with their bending denying it. Katara couldn't ever imagine _not_ bending. She'd do it just because she could, even if it was simpler to perform a task without bending. But then Azula was different. Ozai had bashed it into her head that Zuko was weak and pathetic, so she never considered the possibility that he could get stronger. When they fought during the final battle, she assumed that she was getting weaker, and when Zuko defeated her and Ozai called her a failure and said his greatest achievement was defeated by his greatest disappointment, she'd begun to hate that she was a prodigy. She was also unhinged at that point, so she wasn't thinking clearly.

Hau arranged a few maps on Zuko's desk, for once clear of papers.

"Tell me what you found," Zuko said, pulling her into his lap and resting his hand rather high up on her thigh and giving a firm squeeze.

Hau still looked at them curiously sometimes, as if he couldn't believe that something actually had been going on between the two of them. He'd walked in on them kissing the day they got back from their failed hunt for Ursa. Toph blew the whole thing open to Hau, and true to his word, he'd been testing the waters for them, seeing what people thought, whether they'd accept a marriage outside the Fire Nation, and just how much they could push the nobility to get what they wanted. They'd both been surprised to find that the waters were a lot less hostile than they were expecting. Then Ba Sing Se happened, and priorities were turned elsewhere.

"We ended up going back in time a bit," Katara said, looking at the map. She pointed to the village where Aang encountered the spirit Hei Bei. "She was here for a while. Then she traveled south along this mountain range, here. We have a huge gap in our knowledge of her travels, but we do know she ended up in Ba Sing Se before the coup."

Zuko cringed, and Katara rubbed his shoulder. She knew that Ba Sing Se would forever be a sore spot for him. He laid his head on her shoulder, and Katara hurried on.

"She's mostly travelled in the Earth Kingdom, because it's easiest to hide there. We do know she's never come close to the Fire Nation again, and with good reason. She might be in the southern Earth Kingdom, in a small town, possibly near Gaoling or the Foggy Swamp, or even as far south as Chin."

Zuko blinked blankly at the map, pulling away from her.

"Are you going to tell me that you found all this out in a year? That without me tagging along and fucking things up, the world suddenly opened wide to you and everything was made clear?"

Katara took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. Interrogating Ozai got them nowhere. He refused to give up anything, and slowly, it became clear that not even he knew where she was all the time. This wasn't before he'd sent them on several stupid, fruitless, and dangerous missions, one of which turned out to be an assassination attempt. They'd come up empty handed every time. Finding the Phoenix Brigade had been the biggest lead they'd ever had, and it gave them a real person to talk to, and physical proof that she'd actually been there.

"Zuko, nothing you have done has been useless or stupid. None of this would have been possible without you. _You_ got us to Chem, and as much of a jerk as that guy is, he cares for your mother in his own bizarre, creepy, fanatical way. Without all the hard work you've done, I don't know that we could have even made it this far."

Zuko still didn't seem convinced, so she pulled him into a hug, and he buried his face in her chest and ran his hands up her back. Katara clucked her tongue, realizing that now Zuko just wanted to get touchy. Not that she was pushing him away. Hau cleared his throat when Zuko's hands were travelling closer to her butt, and Zuko was reluctant to let go.

"Yes, well, moving on, Avatar Aang mentioned something about assumed identities obscuring the path?" Hau asked, frowning and hoping to get the discussion back on track.

"You'll love this," Katara said, playing with Zuko's hair. "She stayed in Opo for a year, where she lived as a married man."

"A what?" His voice was flat, uncomprehending.

"A man."

"My mother?"

Katara nodded.

"When?" Zuko was staring at the map as if it would give up the answers. He was smiling slightly; it was an amusing idea. Katara slapped his hand when it started travelling further up her leg.

"Not recently, I don't think. The woman we've been talking to met with Suki first, and then me. She would have spoken to Sokka, but he needed to stay at the South to help Dad, so that's how Suki ended up going. She said she was a close friend of your mother's and that she played the part of the wife. Much of your mom's travels, we pieced together from Chem talking about his own travels. What this new friend told us matched a lot of what Chem said."

Katara was quiet for a bit, chewing her lip as Zuko and Hau watched her. It had been awkward to meet with this woman in a darkened corner of a tavern at that seedy merchant's pier in the Earth Kingdom. The woman had worn a long cloak with a deep hood that completely obscured her face. To prove she was trustworthy, she'd given out a few private facts and asked Katara to confirm with Iroh that they were true. Three scars that Ursa had: a knife wound on her stomach from right hip to just under her left breast, and two burn marks on her thighs that roughly resembled hands, these from the attack she suffered at the hands of Ozai's generals. The other was that Iroh's wife visited the stall of an old crone who claimed to be a fortune teller, asking the patron to pick an object from a table, and claiming to be able to read the person's future in the object. The old crone had predicted the death of Iroh's wife.

Hearing about the old crone had made Katara's blood run cold. She'd met that old crone, had seen her table of seemingly ordinary objects. She hadn't believed it, either. The crone waited, and Katara picked up a glass dragon without thinking about it; she just thought it looked more expensive than the other trinkets presented. As she studied it, the glass heated up in her hands and exploded, embedding tiny shards in her fingers. The crone's voice croaking out, "so sad, so sad," had haunted her dreams. She knew this crone, and took the shrouded woman's words to be true.

"The woman we met," she said slowly, returning to the present, "said that she was afraid for Ursa. She doesn't believe Chem would hurt her, just that…his words are becoming like poison to the mind."

* * *

><p>First, I'd like to thank everyone for reading and reviewing and alerting! You have <em>no idea<em> just how happy that makes me when I get email from this site and it tells me something wonderful like that. Especially last week. We had to work an extra hour, plus work on Saturday, and the week was just so ugh, but those emails made me smile when I just wanted to go home. So thanks! You're all made of sunshine and rainbows!

Witness the return of Chem! Take comfort in knowing he was _not_ winning any fights in Ba Sing Se, and probably had his rations taken away from him on more than one occasion. This is the universe telling him to stop being such a dick. He has not listened. He now feels he has even more of a personal reason to dislike Zuko, since he suffered personally because of the riots. This skews his view on things even more. Yes, there'd be some people who're pissed at the Fire Nation for not coming immediately, but for continuing to be there, and to be thinking about the future, I think would make up for that initial delay. But you can't please everyone.

It may seem like everything is coming together for finding Ursa a lot quicker, but in my mind, that's only logical. They've got an actual person to talk to, no matter how batshit insane he is. Chem spent time with Ursa, and he can offer up connections that they wouldn't have had otherwise. Also, there is a mysterious person (dun dun duuuuuun) who also knows Ursa. At some point, Ursa _would_ be trying to get back, but she'd be cautious, making sure that she's getting back to Zuko, and not Ozai's goons masquerading as Zuko. I just thought it would be amusing if she spent time living as a man to better hide. I mean, everyone's looking for Ozai's _wife_, not his husband. I lol'd in my head. But seriously, greater freedom and the chance to relax a bit more would be hard to pass up.


	4. Danger to Roost

Long looked at the defectors of Chem's army and nudged Inara with his elbow. More people had come than either of them had expected. That Chem, wherever he was, had no idea that they were gathering made the meeting even sweeter. He and Inara had been planning a little coup of their own during the past year, and they'd had to move quickly once Chem was trapped in Ba Sing Se during the riots. If he was hovering over the army like some omniscient presence with his venom words, there was no way they'd be able to talk to others about a much needed change of tactics.

"It feels good to be back on Fire Nation soil, doesn't it?" Long asked, calling everyone's attention. He was met with varying levels of agreement. "I want to remind you that not all of us have been banished or barred from returning home. Except by Chem—"

"Facing down the Phoenix Brigade was a turning point for a lot of us," Inara said, cutting Long off to make sure the discussion stayed on topic. "Things could have gone so differently. Our people didn't have to lose their lives and we could have had achieved the same goal. Had we _worked with_ Fire Lord Zuko and Ambassador Katara…" She held her arms open as if to suggest all that could have been accomplished.

It felt good to be active again, Long had to admit. There was a definite feeling of doing something that he would always relish, and he felt jovial and childlike thinking about how this would throw a wrench in Chem's plan. Ultimately, what they needed to do was present themselves to the Fire Lord, place themselves in his service.

"Chem's demands of the Fire Lord are largely unreasonable, and his sources questionable," Inara was saying, "and we must get to him before Chem does. I agree with Chem that returning Lady Ursa to her son might do much to ease the Fire Lord's spirit, but let's not be stupid or fanatical toward a woman none of us have met."

"If we want the Fire Nation's name restored, if we want to be treated like people and not outcasts with the pentapox, then the key is to work _with_ the Fire Lord instead of keeping up these stupid games like Chem has. The key to reclaiming our nation isn't fighting this losing war that Chem's waging," Long said, taking up the speech.

He and Inara had spent long hours hammering this part out; since neither of them knew Ursa, it was hard to say just how much of a political force she could be, but the moment they heard that the Fire Lord stripped his council of some power just so he could send people to Ba Sing Se, they'd been convinced. Chem was delusional. He didn't realize just where the power was, and he would willingly let his hate blind him. It was unfortunate that Fire Lord Zuko inherited Chem's hate from his father. Heaped on top of Chem's bitterness, it had twisted the man into something almost inhuman. His focus was more than singular. In his mind, Lady Ursa was an angel, a being of pure light without a stain on her record.

Over the past year, the Fire Lord had done everything in his power to help Ba Sing Se without sacrificing his own nation. If that didn't prove that he had changed, that he was committed to peace, then nothing would. They didn't hold the initial refusal against them; how could they? They knew for a fact that he wasn't in the capitol when that decision was made. They were holding him prisoner in their own camp.

Together, Long and Inara pled their case, and every member of the group who wanted to contribute was invited to do so. It was a collaborative effort, and having several different viewpoints went a long way toward making their plan more concrete.

"I did like Chem said and trailed them," Inara said, banging her fist on the table. "Things are completely different in the capitol. _He_ is king, and they bow to him."

"Yes, but who does he bow to?" someone questioned from the middle of the room.

Long scratched his beard. What to do about the obvious romantic feelings between Lord Zuko and Ambassador Katara had been a hard thing for them to decide, and they still hadn't come to a decision yet.

"Does it matter who he bows to?" Someone else spoke up. "What business is it of ours?"

"I would agree," Long said, addressing the group as a whole. "That's not our business, but it's _Chem's_ business, and because of that, it has to be ours. If we don't do anything—"

"Chem will get them together, and then what?"

"Isn't that what we want, anyway?"

"It's certainly what they want."

"But Chem will corrupt her. He'll spit his venom in her ear."

"She's an idiot if she believes him over someone she's known for _years_, and Chem would be doing us a favor by keeping her off the throne."

"But Chem won't keep her off the throne!"

Everyone continued to argue the point, and Long rubbed his temples. None of this was even going to matter if they couldn't get the Fire Lord to trust them. They needed to distance themselves from Chem, and prove their loyalty to him. He pointed this out to them, and a woman named Calla stood up.

"That," she said, "is already taken care of." She dug two vials out of her pocket and displayed them for everyone to see. "There's a plot involving the poison Witch's Breath."

.O.

"Forty, and that's the lowest I'll go."

"Forty? What're you trying to do? Starve us out of the Fire Nation?"

"You're asking for prime real estate at bargain basement prices. It's not happening."

"I see your prime real estate and raise you quality expensive merchandise. Give that space to us for twenty now, and we can guarantee you that your profits will double with us as tenants."

"Yeah? In case you haven't noticed, this city's full of refugees and the downtrodden. Who's going to buy your Water Tribe trinkets now?"

The Southern Trader laughed. "I don't know. Maybe you should ask our increasing profit margin!"

The merchants and the traders all laughed, but Katara wasn't really paying attention. Her mind was full of thoughts of sexy firebender kisses and their brief makeout session in a dark alcove before she'd scurried off to her meeting. She shivered and licked her lips, even though the taste of him was long gone. He'd promised her, again, that things would be different this time, and if she was being fair to him, things were a little different. He didn't shy away from the topic quite as much. She could tell it made him nervous, but he was doing his best.

"Ambassador?"

Katara snapped to attention. People were looking at her expectantly. This was the fourth in a series of meetings where traders from the Southern Water Tribe hoped to secure a large presence in the Fire Nation's trading economy. They were looking for permanent space on the docks, as well as prime real estate in the capitol's market district. Because it would be such a large purchase for the South, and would be used by all Southern traders, they'd requested official representation. Her dad was busy governing in the South, and Sokka was spending a bit of time with Suki on Kiyoshi, so she volunteered.

Katara fanned herself with her notes and looked at the gathered faces, suddenly feeling too hot.

"Is there an agreement?" she asked, knowing she'd been caught daydreaming.

One of the merchants rubbed her eyes wearily. "Ambassador, if this wasn't a good time for you, we could have scheduled the meeting for a later date."

Katara shook her head, apologizing for her lapse in attention, and the meeting was quickly—very quickly—recounted for her. After being called on it, she did a better job of paying attention to the meeting and not fantasizing about a naked man in her bed all full of passionate kisses and strong arms and…

She pinched herself to keep from returning to saucy daydream land.

It took an extra hour and a half to school her mind into some semblance of attention as it flitted between late night love, colors for a wedding that wasn't even official yet, and The Dress. It was another quarter hour on top of that before the meeting finished. By then, the sun was starting its long descent, and she strolled quietly through the market on her way back to the palace.

"We don't serve your kind here."

Katara's head snapped up. Whoever it was couldn't be addressing her because she wasn't looking to buy anything. She turned, ready to give someone a serious piece of her mind, and instead, saw a small crowd converging on one stall.

"What? You don't serve paying customers?"

An Earth Kingdom man and his family were trying to buy meat from a Fire Nation butcher, but the burly man was standing in front of his stall with his arms crossed and a cleaver in his hand. Katara looked around, but didn't see the guards anywhere nearby. She wished she'd worn her water skins, but since she didn't have them, she looked around for sources of water to draw from.

"Don't get smart with me," the butcher said, pointing his cleaver at the Earth Kingdom man. "You think you can just waltz into my nation and start demanding things? I work to feed _my_ family, not yours. You don't get to live off my charity."

"Look, I work just as hard as you do. I'm not trying to live off your charity. And I doubt you'd know what charity is if it kicked you in the balls."

Katara winced. Zuko wasn't lying when he said tension was high between the locals and the refugees.

"I'm tired of this sense of entitlement you people get—"

"You people?" The wife bristled, and pushed her two children behind her.

Battle lines were being drawn, and Katara held her breath. Aside from the spectators, green was gathering behind the family, and some red on the side of the butcher. She only released a little air when she realized that not all of the Fire Nation citizens were standing with the butcher. It was a good sign that things might be changing.

"Calm down, everyone," another merchant said, coming to stand between the two groups. "Listen, Fu, their money is just as good as anyone else's."

"It's filthy money and—"

"And what?"

Everyone turned toward the new voice, like poison in the veins. Zuko and a group of guards approached the stalls, and people parted to let them through. He stood with his arms to his sides and his body tense, coiled like a spring, ready to subdue anyone should things turn violent. Katara kept to the back of the crowd, letting Zuko deal with things in his own way, but ready to step in and help if things got out of control.

Several people bowed to Zuko, still wearing his mantle and crown, but Fu held his ground.

"With all due respect, _my lord_, it's my shop, and I may serve to whomever I please. And deny service as _I_ see fit."

"While this is true," Zuko said evenly, "I would remind you that this family would be well within their rights to bring this case before the courts and sue you for violation of the Non-discrimination Act signed by all the nations during the first Peace Summit which prohibits the refusal of services to someone based on nationality alone."

"That is a right afforded citizens—"

"I would also remind you that refugees are still protected by _my_ law." Zuko took a few steps forward, his fists clenched, his voice firm, but a little louder so that it reached everyone. "In denying them, you deny my law and open yourself for my punishment."

People were stepping back, recognizing the challenge and aggressive posture of the Fire Lord, and Katara felt a little kick somewhere in the pit of her stomach, pushing her forward and sending her blood rushing and her fingertips tingling. This was Zuko as the Fire Lord, all domineering and power and control. There were still traces of the cocky and self sure sixteen year old who'd crashed Sokka's pathetic guard tower. She could see Zuko in the days after he and Aang had come back from facing the dragons, all confidence and renewed strength.

She could see him in the moments when he redirected the lightning during the final battle, full of determination and calm. Katara closed her mind to this image, imagined crumpling it into a ball and tossing it out of her mind. She would not think about this. That was a dangerous road to go down.

Fu was scoffing, clearly struggling to control his anger, his face red.

"Your law would have us crawling on our stomachs like _filth_ and surrendering everything we are to the Earth Kingdoms and the Water Tribes." People were gasping and quickly moving to a safer distance, but Fu was caught in his self-righteous anger. "Your _law_ would strip away our authority and sell off our nation. Your _law_ makes us an international laughingstock!"

"Are you finished?"

"Your law!" Fu pointed his cleaver at Zuko, and the guards began fanning out, ready to move into action. "They're right to try to ki..."

Fu cut himself off, realizing he'd said something he shouldn't have. Katara moved so she could get a better look, one of the few brave souls venturing closer while everyone else moved away. She reached out with her bending to find all nearby sources of water. Fu paled and became aware of being surrounded with an angry firebending master in front of him. His hand gripped his cleaver, but there's no way it could be of any use to him now.

"Oh really?" Zuko asked, as good-naturedly as the tigerdillo before it eats the rat, eyebrow raised and his arms crossed.

Fu wouldn't say anything else, but that didn't matter. People whispered and muttered around him, calling Fu so many different names that Katara didn't think she'd heard the same one twice. Variations on 'stupid' and 'having a death wish' were at the top. The guards were slowly closing in on Fu and he began to sweat, his eyes shifting all around him.

"If it wasn't bad enough that you let our nation be dominated by everyone else, now you allow your fire to be dominated by the water—"

Katara gasped, indignant, wondering how she could even be brought in this conversation, if this was part of some ongoing conversation, if people really thought that. She didn't see the rather sizeable rock that was thrown at Fu from somewhere in the crowd, and she didn't register it until it crashed into his stall. Then another rock was thrown and an old man stepped forward.

"You watch your mouth when you talk about our Fire Lord, you yeti."

This rock actually hit a stunned Fu and unleashed a torrent of anger and insults from the crowd. People were surging around her, and she couldn't make out Zuko's expression, but his posture hadn't changed. A woman yelled that it was people like Fu who gave the Fire Nation a bad name. Someone else labeled Fu 'and his friends' as the reason it was hard for the Fire Nation to trade in the international market. One accusation came after another. Fu wanted the Fire Nation destroyed. He wanted them to be hated, and they were tired of being hated. He wanted to start the war again. He wanted their children dead. He wanted their fields burned and their livestock killed. He wanted them to starve.

Katara backed out of the crowd as quickly as she could and moved toward Zuko; it was becoming a riot, and the people were going to smash Fu's stall, and possibly Fu as well.

"Enough." Zuko's voice cut through everything, a commander addressing his army, and the people reacted. They backed away. "Fu, you are hereby arrested for suspicion of sedition, violation of the Non-discrimination Act, public endangerment, inciting the public to riot, and because you're pissing me off."

"Oh, so pissing on your little parade is a punishable offense now?" Fu growled as he struggled against the guards trying to subdue him. One of the men hit Fu in the stomach with his metal covered knee.

"No, but it makes this arrest all the sweeter."

The guards marched Fu away amidst scattered applause and cheers. Closer to Zuko, but still a good five feet away, Katara could feel the heat rolling off of him, and she wondered just how much he was having to restrain himself.

"Zuko?" She walked slowly so he could acknowledge her before approaching. With him wound so tightly, she didn't want to risk him lashing out instinctively before he realized who it was.

"This is the downside to people thinking you're human," he said without turning to her. "They think they can talk to you however they want."

"One's got to be better than the other, though. Right?'

He sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose. "I suppose."

"Where shall we take him, my lord?" one of the guards asked.

"Put him in with like minds," Zuko said quietly after a brief pause. "They're not going to trial anytime soon, and maybe being locked with more of their friends will loosen their tongues and we can actually get some answers."

Like minds? Katara put her hand on his arm, but he was shaking his head.

"Later, Katara. Not out in the open."

Zuko was arresting the guy on suspicion of sedition. Did that mean Fu was connected to some larger group? Zuko hadn't mentioned more assassination attempts in any of his letters, so she'd supposed they finally died down. She couldn't remember what the count was, somewhere in the upper 400s, but that still didn't make it better. He couldn't just keep things like that from them. And if there were 'like minds,' this didn't count as an attempt. This was a _plot_.

Zuko was walking so quickly that Katara had to practically jog to keep up with him.

"Does Iroh know at least?"

"You say this like I can't deal with it myself."

"That's not what this is about, Zuko."

He stopped abruptly, and she bumped into him. They were just outside the gates to the palace, and Zuko shifted from one foot to the other, looking around him. He was debating something, and even though Katara knew pushing him at this point would likely only make him not tell her, she wanted to throttle him and make him spit it out.

"You've been indecisive about quite a few things lately," she said, crossing her arms.

"No I haven't." He was getting defensive. "I've got a meeting to get back to."

"Wait! If you were in a meeting, how did you know something was going on in the market?"

Zuko smiled his half smile as he walked backward. "I've got eyes and ears all over this place."

* * *

><p>Wonderful readers! So much happens in this chapter. Witness the return of Long and Inara! Witness the introduction of danger and drama! Witch's Breath is not a real poison. I made that up.<p>

Even though Zuko and Katara have a wonderful relationship full of sharing, Zuko would still draw a line somewhere, particularly after his serious lapse in judgment with The Phoenix Brigade and everything that followed after. He's being more of a ruler, and his previously open relationship with Katara is presenting a few problems with him. I think that Zuko would have to be a mix of Ozai, Azula, and Iroh in order to properly rule the Fire Nation. He'd have to move between being deceptive, honest, domineering, scary, and a whole host of other things. Much of the advice that was given to Aang before he faced Ozai really applies to everyone, but I think it applied to both Aang and Zuko the most. It sucks because at the end of the series, Zuko was just figuring out who he was, but now he'll have to go through another bout of soul searching to figure out who he is as Fire Lord. They were all so ill equipped for everything they needed to do in the show. I feel bad for them :(


	5. I'll Let You Dominate Me

Later that day, Katara made her way to the royal gardens, which were closed to all except the royal family. Outside of their family, Katara was sure to be bothered only by Hau or Yina; they were the only people allowed there by Zuko. He'd done it to ensure there was a place he wouldn't be bothered, and silently Katara thanked him. She needed a place to not think about all the horrible implications of Zuko keeping "like minds" prisoner, about him struggling to tell her secrets when he never had before. If they were going to be married, why was he hesitating so much? She didn't think she'd said anything to make him doubt her.

That little sliver of conversation between her and Chem came back to her. No matter how much she tried to pretend it didn't happen, his words _were_ like poison in your ear, latching on to little cracks in your conviction and taking root. Not that she doubted Zuko, because she knew Zuko and knew he would never do those things. He understood the way power corrupted people and was determined not to let that happen to him. Katara thought he was doing a good job of it, and if he ever started to get out of line, he had five friends to tell him in five equally painful ways that he needed to cool it. Well, four painful ways, because Aang wouldn't hurt Zuko.

She walked past the turtleduck pond, her heart pounding, and over to the pond with the bridge. Bending always made her feel better, and she didn't want to disturb the turtleducks. They got fussy when their water was disturbed, and fussy turtleducks meant fussy Zuko, and she would rather not have him fussing at her. He looked like he'd been doing a lot of fussing lately.

Katara started by simply pushing and pulling the water, moving through those earliest of moves she'd devised; a bubble of water, mimicking the waves on the shore, a water whip, a small whirlpool. She let her waterbending take her through her years, moving next to her time with Pakku, letting her bending become more elaborate. More forceful. She spun around, sending the water like a giant fist into the stomach of an imaginary enemy. Ice daggers into tree. Foggy swap style; rigid arms to propel you through the water, incorporating feet now, moving her whole body. She felt like Toph, stomping, pushing her apprehension into the ground and using her arms to force the water from the pond in a geyser. Grunt, arms down, the water back into its enclosure.

And finally, her beloved Southern style, more liquid than any other bending she'd known, rediscovered from confiscated scrolls tucked deep in the palace's library. Another gift from Zuko. He could give her this, but he was still holding back something. Not assassination attempts. Maybe something more? Something personal? Her body twisted and turned; she was the raging spring ocean, unpredictable, calling the water to her with a sway of her hip, sending it away like a spear toward Zuko's right as she called the water to attack from behind on his left. The first he dispersed with a fiery punch, and he barely dodged the second, having to raise his body temperature to dissolve the brunt of the blow.

"Suppose I was just coming to talk," he said, moving toward her with arms raised in his aggressive bending stance.

"You should know better than to sneak up on a master bender."

Three swift movements; sweeping his leg low, punching the ground and sending a massive ball of fire bouncing toward her, a powerful kick that brought a vertical arc of fire down on her head. Retaliate; bring the water in a low wave, collect the steam and freeze it, ice daggers to her left, water wall to deflect the bouncing fireball, shield over her head to deflect the kick.

She didn't let Zuko get the first attack on the next round, sending a water whip toward his feet, and he danced out of its path, trying to bridge the distance between them, but she wouldn't let him. They traded blows, her ice nearly cutting his shoulder, but lodging in the stone behind him instead, and since his strides were longer, when he lunged forward with a punch that scorched her shirt, it brought them closer together. If she let him in, he would win the match; physically, he was stronger than she was, even though she was agile. He was bigger, he could take her, and she wasn't necessarily faster, but the sun was nearly completely down. The moon would rise, and she would dominate.

He moved, feline like, around her bending, and she stuck to the Southern style. Being able to pull the water with a hip or a knee kept the opponent guessing, and Zuko hadn't seen her use it enough to understand what gestures were bending and which were her just moving around. She slammed the ice on the ground in front of her, surfing it to keep the distance between them, and Zuko blasted after her, one, two, three, then he would drop down to his hands and swing his legs around, but this time he didn't, instead plunging his hands into the ice so that it heated super fast and shattered, and she fell to the ground, rolling.

As she rolled, she glimpsed people on the fringes of the garden watching them. Servants and politicians and guests come to see a spectacle. They would all claim that they hadn't actually _entered_ the private garden, and could therefore not be yelled at. In the brief seconds she'd been watching the spectators, Zuko had disappeared, and she cursed her lack of diligence. She backed further into the clearing, then contemplated where he might go.

Trees. She thought about the way he'd climbed with ease on their ninja mission, and took a wild guess at the trees, clapping her hands together then pushing them forward. The water in the tree responded to her, and Zuko was spit out, rather unceremoniously, but she didn't give him the chance to recover his breath, mimicking his own style of bending, punching the water toward him and forcing him to roll out of the way.

But she misjudged and Zuko lunged, tackling her to the ground. He was looming over her and smirking, thinking he won, but she had a hand free, and she jammed the heel of her hand into his side, feeling nice, firm muscle not giving away as easily as it had before, making him lose balance, and when he started to roll, she rolled with him, pulling her knees into his diaphragm to keep him from using his breath of fire, but he was blowing steam out of his nose, a little warning of courtesy, because he must have taken a breath when the rolled, and she ducked to the left as the fire exploded from his mouth.

Then she was on her stomach and he was pinning her down, her butt slightly in the air, pressed against him, and it was hot, and they were really too close, and her body was too sensitive, and she tried to remind herself this wasn't one of those bending matches that could turn into heavy petting, and she reared back, slamming her head into his face. He must have seen it coming because he moved back with her, lessening the impact of the blow, and she was on top of him now, smiling and holding one shoulder down, his hand digging into her hip, and their chests were heaving and she was straddling him, and their clothes were dirty and loose, and she could see the pale flesh of his sculpted chest, salty sweat gleaming on him, his hair sticking to his face, and her shirt was partially open from their rumbling, and he was getting an eyeful of her own sweat covered chest. There were leaves in their hair, and their fingers were entwined, pushing against each other, hoping to control, and there was that strong desire in her to be in charge and _own_ him, and she was bent down over him, only dimly aware of the people chattering and some cheering at the edge of the garden, only still seeing a battle, not knowing the stakes had been raised. She could feel the heat coming off him, but she refused to close her eyes because if she did, when she opened them, she wouldn't see the same way, and his eyes were flashing that dangerous dark gold, that gold of want and need and desire, and he swallowed hard and she gulped for air, and _mercifully_, the ground shook beneath them, tossing them apart.

"Ok, that's enough, you two," Toph said, marching toward them. "I'm going to call this one in Sugar Queen's favor."

Katara lay on her back panting from more than just the strain of the fight, and thanked every spirit in the spirit world that Toph had been watching.

.O.

Katara had barely made it from the secret passage into Zuko's room before he slammed her against the wall and had her pinned beneath him. Her back hitting the wall knocked the air from her lungs, and she looked up into feral, hungry eyes, and he growled as he lowered his face to her neck, breathing deeply of her like she was a good brandy.

"I don't know what kind of shit you thought you were going to pull back there, but let's get this straight. You did _not_ win that fight."

He hadn't even _touched_ her, and she was panting. She swallowed hard and pushed back against him, but there was no give. He was still fully dressed, still wearing his crown. He ran his tongue along her neck, and her knees buckled, but he was supporting her weight. Zuko liked to top sometimes, but there were very few times he'd ever been aggressive with her in bed. Those were generally times when he felt he had little control over the other areas of his life, and she knew he was just seeking some small way to assert himself, and usually, she let him. Fought him a bit, but she let him have his way.

But she had never seen him this aggressive. He never wore his crown during their late night trysts. It worried her to think about what was so wrong in his life that he was driven this far. It thrilled her to feel that deep rumble in his chest when he growled.

He bit her neck, and her hands tried to find some part of him to hold on to because she felt like she was melting, the way he was rolling her skin between his teeth and running the very tip of his tongue over her. He bit down painfully hard, and she tried not to cry out, because now he was soothing the hurt with gentle kisses.

Slowly, his grip loosened on her arms, and he pulled away, his eyes predatory and roaming over her, taking in her sleepwear—again with the oversized shirt and only her tiny bottom wrappings—licking his lips when he spied her exposed shoulder. She reached out to take his shirt off, but he grabbed her hands and spun her, pushing her against the wall with her hands behind her back.

"Ooh, not tonight, little girl," he said, his voice deep and rough, like thunder.

He pushed her further against the wall, and she could feel him, hard, against her butt, so she rolled her hips backward, rubbing against him, and he grunted as his hips responded to hers, pushing against her, teasingly, and she smirked with her cheek pressed against the cool wall. There were still ways to take control of him, but with both hands behind her back, and him with one hand free, he clearly had the upper hand, knew it, and was using it to his advantage. He slid his hand under her shirt, trailing hot fingers and little, tingly, staticky touches of lightning up her stomach, and she gasped, arching into him again, as his hands trailed so slowly downward, hovering near the hem of her underwear.

"You want this." It was not a question. It was a command. "Beg me for it."

She hadn't intended to do it. She wanted to show him that she still had some control, but he was writing his name on her lower stomach with increasing heat that matched her increasing heat, and she hated him for making her give in so easily, like he knew exactly where to push or to stroke to make her crumble. Which he did.

"Please!"

"Louder."

"Please!" and it came out half moan, halfe plea, and he obliged with slow strokes with one finger, parting her. "More," she demanded, her voice a gravelly whisper.

He picked up the pace, adding a second finger, but not entering her, and she tried to maneuver her hips to force him inside her, but he wouldn't, instead choosing to tease that bundle of nerves, rubbing it, stroking it between his fingers, and her legs couldn't decide if they were strong enough to hold her weight, but Zuko supported her against the wall. He was rubbing circles now, faster, but she wanted _more_. Usually, Zuko didn't tease her this long, but he was clearly in a sadistic mood, intent to make her suffer.

Then he pulled his hand away from her, and she whimpered a protest, but she could see his smirk, the way he brought his fingers to his mouth, curling his tongue suggestively, sucking and pumping them in and out of his mouth as he rolled his hips into her backside, and she glared at him because she wanted his mouth on her.

"As Fire Lord," she said, panting as she watched his fingers slide out of his mouth, "it is your duty to take care of your guests' needs."

"Oh, I'm taking care of your needs," and he let her go, spinning her by her hips so she was facing him again. "Aren't I?"

He was rubbing her through the fabric of her underwear, and she felt that she might burst at any point, now.

"Zuko, please, not tonight. The moon, I can't take it—"

"You will take it, and you will like it, and you will address me properly."

Katara tried not to let on how much his behavior was turning her on. He held his lips so close to hers that they brushed and the tingling made her nipples hard, and every time she tried to close the distance between them, he would pull back, never letting her kiss him, but the moment she stopped trying, he brought his mouth down on hers, and she went slack against him, throwing her arms around his neck as his tongue caressed her mouth and she moaned against him. She was careful not to mess up his hair. She wanted that crown right where it was.

Zuko dipped down, grabbing the backs of her thighs and hoisted her up. She gave a yelp of surprise, afraid he might drop her, but he held her weight as if she were nothing, but now she was above him, looking down into his eyes, and seeing desperation and intensity, and wanting to comfort him, but knowing he wasn't looking for comfort right now. She would find out what was bothering him. Just as soon as they were done with the matter at hand.

She practically ripped her shirt off, and the moment her breasts were free, one of them was in his mouth, and she moaned loudly as he sucked and nipped, flicking his tongue over the sensitive flesh, and he carried her to the bed, letting go of her nipple only to discard his own shirt, and she roamed her hands freely over his back and wrapped her legs around his waist as he continued to suckle, and she spared a thought for the poor guards who were outside, forced to listen to her.

Zuko's hot mouth left her too soon, and he was removing her underwear, tossing it over his shoulder and looking at her like she was meat and he was going to devour her. She smirked, looking him up and down, raising her eyebrow to ask if he intended to finish what he started. He took off his pants and advanced on her, urging her back along the bed.

"Over," he growled once they reached the head of his bed, and when she didn't move fast enough for him, he did it himself, flipping her onto her stomach and bringing her hips up.

When he entered her from behind, Katara honestly wondered why they'd never done that before, ready to praise his genius for trying it then. He was slamming into her, having skipped the slow buildup, and she had to put her hand against the headboard to keep her head from hitting it. He wrapped her hair around his fist and pulled her up so that her back was against his chest, and his mouth was by her neck. When he rubbed her clit with his free hand, she gave in to that moan, guards be damned, reaching her hands back and digging her fingers into his hips. When he sent the tiniest jolt of electricity into that bundle, she doubled over so hard that Zuko was forced to let go of her hair or risk ripping it out. Her vision had gone white, and her whole body had been on fire.

"Did you like that?" he asked, slowing his strokes and leaning forward to lick her back. "Beg me and I might do it again."

"Again. I want it again. And pull my hair."

He obliged, and her muscles clenched around him, and he moaned, even though he tried to bite it back. She could feel everything building inside her, the moon making her more aware of her body and heightening every sense, and she could feel him pulsing inside her, and that made her clench even more. Both of his hands were on her hips now, digging his fingers into her, probably leaving bruises, and the bed rocked like it was about to collapse as they moved against each other in perfect rhythm.

"Scream it," he shouted.

She tried, but couldn't form coherent words, and he brought his palm hard on her butt, and she thought the bed might collapse under them, and wouldn't it be fun explaining to people just what happened.

"Scream my fucking name!"

And she did. Or at least some approximation of it because a strong orgasm hit her then, and the second syllable was drawn out in a long moan, and even as she convulsed, he still pumped in her, and she bit down hard on his arm, and that sent him over the edge, and he collapsed on top of her, not caring that his weight was crushing her. They lay like that breathing for a bit before he rolled off, scooping her up and laying her on his chest, where they remained until their breathing returned to normal and their bodies stopped tingling.

It was too easy for Katara to notice all the things he wasn't doing. He didn't kiss the top of her head, he didn't give his usual satisfied smirk, he didn't stroke her arm or her back or her hair. He just lay there, his arm limply draped over her hip, staring at the ceiling, and her heart tightened with fear and concern and apprehension.

Without warning or reason, he pushed her away from him.

"I'm sorry," he said, rolling onto his side, putting his back not only to her, but to the door.

Which ne never, _ever_ did.

* * *

><p>Ok, a few notes. When I first started watching Avatar for real, I was a little disappointed that the waterbending wasn't more...water like. So, I thought the 'lost art' of Southern Style could be more fluid, like water. Why were there scrolls in the Fire Lord's library? I don't know. Someone probably put them there, and then forgot about them. Not like Ozai was going to go through all the books or whatever : Zuko and Katara are making strides in their public relationship, but I don't think either of them are ready to almost hump each other in front of a bunch of people. Thank all the spirits that ever were that Toph was there to break things up when she did :D

So, yeah. The smut. A rambly bit follows:

It partially comes from a conversation I had with **xxxlikeadovexxx **over in the katara_zuko livejournal. I think Zuko, at times, could be very domineering in bed, but that he and Katara would most likely trade off. In my mind, Zuko's the kind of guy who'd love being in control once he actually _gets_ control of his life. For so long, he hasn't been in charge/in control of the things that happen to him. So much has been out of his hands, that when he finally gets to control his life, he'd love it, and it would be very hard for him to give it up. That said, he'd use is powers for good, and I think I agree with likeadove when she said he'd also be wary of the power he wields. I think that understanding the way power can corrupt people will keep Zuko in check. Also, he's just not that kind of person. He wouldn't do bad things just because he can. He's too worried about becoming Ozai for that to happen.

When things start to slip out of his control, however, he would try to assert himself in some way. Katara is his secret keeper and his comfort person. He'd be ok with being a bit domineering with her because she would understand this change in attitude for what it is, not what it could be. Hence, when he feels like things are all going to hell, he might get a bit kinky. Katara is ok with this. A little kink never hurt anyone :D As Zuko's never been this domineering with her, she reads the signs correctly. Something's not right. Things have been building up, and it's not leaving her with a good feeling (except for the good feeling Zuko just gave her).

Hope that long rambly bit didn't ruin the hotness for you.


	6. But You Can't Shut Me Out

One sleepless night, while they were on Ember Island waiting for Sozin's Comet, Katara and Zuko sat down by the beach and talked about their sleeping habits. They'd hoped that talking about sleep might actually make them sleepy.

He said he couldn't sleep on his back. He felt like his vital organs were exposed. When she couldn't sleep, she would curl up in the tightest ball possible, and lay in the very center of the bed. He didn't like to be drugged because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to wake up quickly if he needed to. She told stories out loud, pretending it was her mother. He never slept with his back to a door because he needed to see if someone was coming to hurt him. It had been like that since he was ten years old.

This, to Katara, was a justifiable reason for her panic. She touched his shoulder gently, nearly gasping for air. His only response was a deep, shuddering breath. Since they'd become friends, there'd never been such a great disconnect between them, but she wasn't going to let him get away from this conversation.

"Zuko?" She draped herself over him so she could see his face.

"Maybe we shouldn't get married," he said, hiding from her in his pillow.

Katara's stomach dropped and her hands got cold and clammy and there was that tightening of her heart, and all the air left her lungs. Was it something she'd done? She was pretty sure he'd enjoyed it just as much as she did. Maybe he wanted her to fight him a bit more? They'd been so sure and confident about each other earlier. They had proof that the nation wouldn't explode, that people didn't mind. They had support. They had each other.

"How can you say that?" she asked, her voice soft.

"Do you really know me? The Fire Lord?" he whispered.

Katara noticed he was still wearing his crown, and she tugged at him until he sat up, and she took the crown out of his hair and set it on the bedside table. She pulled him into a tight hug, running her fingers through his hair, now past his shoulders, and he buried his face against her chest, holding her as if she might float away. The breaths he took were shallow, like he was too afraid to breathe. Her heart was pounding and she wondered if he could hear it.

"I know _you_, Zuko," she said, though she wasn't entirely sure if this was to comfort him or to push back thoughts that hadn't come to her in a year. Warnings given by a man they didn't trust. She couldn't even believe she was thinking about Chem.

"You can't have one without the other." His voice was muffled against her skin. "Sometimes I… There are things I _have_ to do, and it's not about what I want. When you actually sit down and take account of your life, it's not as soothing as people would have you believe."

And yet, Chem had proved truthful about some things. Nearly everything about his travels had proven true. What he said about the Earth Kingdom pushing their daughters on Zuko was true. They'd done it with Lady Lis, the last Royal Consort, and Zuko said they'd been making noise at the council, trying to find another suitable candidate. The background on Ursa he'd given them was definitely true. But they'd already established that Zuko and Chem did not mix well. Katara stroked Zuko's hair as he breathed deeply against her, his shoulders shaking.

"What is _so_ out of your control that…" Katara shook her head, struggling to comprehend too many things at once, her mind searching for clues Chem might have accidentally dropped about sending secret agents to cause chaos in the palace. Under Zuko, the Fire Nation wasn't too chaotic, but it wasn't above Chem to cause trouble where there was none.

"You don't want to sit here and listen to me talk about it all nigh," he said, letting go of her a little.

"Zuko." Katara's tone was clipped, a bit of warning.

"The council. There's so much to do, and I know I need to trust them, but I'm afraid… And Chem. I don't know what to do about him, or the refugees, or the need for money. I don't know where my mother is and if she's listening to Chem. I don't know how to help Azula, because I want her to be better, and she's not…"

He squeezed her, rubbed his face against her, and they just sat there, Katara resting her cheek on the top of his head.

"What about Hau and Yina? There are people you know you can trust."

"I can't keep giving them _more_ work to do. They're swamped as it is."

They sat in silence again, and Katara ran her hands through Zuko's hair, massaging his scalp just the way he liked. He relaxed a bit in her arms, and his breathing became a little more normal.

"Would it make you feel any better if I told you that I loved every minute of it?" she asked quietly.

Zuko shook his head. "Absoluetly not. I…I shouldn't have been like that with you. You mean so much to me, and I hurt you. I am _so_ sorry, Katara. None of this is your fault. I…"

"Whose fault is it? You don't get to shut me out, Zuko. Not after everything we've been through."

"Ozai."

She tensed. "Another assassination plot?"

He didn't respond, and Katara pushed him away so that she could look at him, and was a little alarmed at the way he blinked rapidly.

"What happened to the part where we realized it's ok to ask for help? What are you hiding from me?" The longer he was silent, mulling over his answer, the more she became anxious. He needed help. He couldn't do this alone.

"How often do you talk to your father about what it's like to be chief?" he asked. At least he looked up at her.

Katara stared, caught off guard by the question. It didn't seem to have anything to do with the topic at hand, and she was thoroughly prepared to tell him so, her hands going to her hips, but Zuko just gave a bitter laugh.

"Of course not. What reason would you have to do so?"

"What're you saying? That I'm not capable—"

"Simply that it's not relevant to your job. The function you serve for the Southern Water Tribe doesn't require you to be involved in all of your father's major decisions and to know his decision making process. Some decisions you're involved in, yes, but your job at heart is to be a mediator for your father and to ferry papers from one place to the next."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You have remained above all the…stupidity and ignorance and backstabbing that goes on. I… If you marry me… I don't want it to twist you and make you question yourself like it's done to me. I don't want you to lose yourself."

Katara blinked dumbly. Zuko had always confided in her before, and to hear this now, to see how much pain and hurt and uncertainty were in his eyes… His letters had given no hint of this, and as he sat before her, his shoulders slumped, Katara wondered just what had happened in the past year. He ran his hands through his hair, then started running his hands up and down her sides.

"I don't know that I can right every wrong of the past 100 years. I don't even know that I can right all of Ozai's wrongs. Sometimes I wonder if I should bother trying."

"We can do it together. You don't have to be alone."

He didn't turn away from her when she placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I can't keep asking you to give me more time, Katara. It's not fair to you…" He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. "I need to make my decision now. Whether I'm willing to be completely open and honest with you, not only as Zuko but as the Fire Lord, and to risk having you think less of me for it."

Katara took his face in her hands and caressed his cheeks as she kissed him. It was as much to reassure him as it was to reassure herself, because the only secrets she could think of that would make Zuko _this_ apprehensive were not good secrets. They had to be bad things, and he'd been wrestling with them for the past few days.

"You've already made up your mind that I'll abandon you," she said, her forehead pressed against his. "You don't get to make that choice for me. I make it, and I'll stand by you, no matter what."

.O.

Katara started to drift out of sleep when she felt an insistent tingling.

"Kitten."

She opened one eye slowly, expecting the room to be pitch black, but it wasn't as dark as she'd thought. Zuko was tracing parts of her body. With one finger and the lightest touch, he traced her collarbone into her shoulder and down her arm, where his hand covered her hand, and she watched him play with her fingers. Sweet, tender touches that were more _him_, careful and loving. He measured her fingers against his own, then he laced them together.

"Zuko, quit poking me."

"I'm not poking you," he said slowly, a little confused.

"Oh." Then it dawned on her. "_Oh_."

She rolled over so fast, she nearly rolled right into him, and she pushed herself up to look out the window. He rose with the sun. All of him. The sun hadn't quite come up yet, but the sky was lightening, and her eyes grew wide.

"Why didn't you wake me?" she asked, scrambling to get out of bed.

"Shh." Zuko grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back against him.

"Zuko, let me go. I have to get back to my room."

They'd _never_ been in bed this late. She could have kicked herself. It was stupid and negligent and reckless. If someone were to come looking for her in her room, and she wasn't there… Or _worse_ if someone came into Zuko's room… She didn't want to push him into a decision before he was ready, no matter how badly she wanted to hear those words from him. She didn't want to hold out too much hope.

Katara elbowed Zuko in the ribs so he'd let her go, and jumped out of bed, frantically trying to find her underwear. Why was this so hard? It's not like she'd worn _that_ much clothing the night before. Katara dropped to her hands and knees to look under the bed. She jumped and hit her head against the bed when she felt something touch her rear.

"Did…did you just kiss my butt?" she asked, coming out from under the bed.

Zuko shrugged. And he was holding her underwear. The sun was beginning to come up.

"Give it." She held out her hand, the other on her hip.

"Aren't you going to ask me what's different?"

Katara stamped her foot and shook her hand, emphasizing where he should put her underwear. She kept eyeing the sun, which would be cresting the horizon soon. Zuko sighed, dropping the underwear on the side of the bed, and came to stand before her. There was a softness and an openness in his eyes that maybe she didn't notice because she'd been too busy panicking about them being found together. He held his arms open and shrugged, and Katara became very aware that they were both still naked.

"I've given you all of me," he said quietly. "I've let you see the parts of me I'm too ashamed to show anyone else. It was easy to love you. But to let you love me…" He sighed. "I am _terrified_ of marriage. With you. Because with someone I don't care about, it would be professional. I wouldn't have to…" He looked away. "But us? It won't just be you and me. It's you and me and Fire Lord and Fire Lady, and the council, and the whole damn country, and I'm afraid I'll fuck it up like I've done so much, especially this past year. I don't know how to be a husband. I mean, the women who marry into my family don't exactly fare well. Illah assassinated, Mom banished, Uncle's wife, Jian, killed when they visited a colony…"

Katara's heart raced. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? It started out that way, and then it was like he was backtracking. He was being so open and vulnerable with her…

"Each Fire Lord has the power to determine what kind of Fire Lady his wife will be." He looked at the floor between them. "You have far too much to contribute to the world to be relegated only to hospitals, schools, and cultural activities. You would rule as my equal in everything. I am concerned that the other nations will consider this a hostile action. No other nation has two benders, let alone two _master_ benders, as rulers, and this _is_ the Fire Nation."

Zuko gulped, and his eyes flicked to her face briefly. "There will be assassination attempts, and only a firebending child can be considered an heir. All my life, I've thought of marriage as nothing more than an advantageous agreement between two parties, but with you it means so much more. With you, I want it to be _right_. I love you, and I need you with me, but I won't ask you to marry me until you know everything, because it wouldn't be fair to you. I won't ask you to sacrifice yourself without first knowing what I have to do."

He took her hands in his, and he avoided her eyes in the way he did when he was afraid of rejection. He shrugged again.

"You have an extra set of clothes in the back of my dresser. They're red, but I hope you don't mind. You look pretty in red." He glanced at her. "I watched you sleep, and I thought about it. What it would mean to just be able to love you, and not sneak around. You deserve so much more than what I've been giving you. Than what I gave you last night. That can't happen again. A proper lord should _never_ treat his lady like that."

Katara nodded eagerly, holding her breath, but that seemed to be all he had to say.

"You can use my bath if you want." Zuko leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

That simple gesture made her blush because yes, he was saying what she thought he was saying. And she nearly fainted.

.O.

Katara walked into the dining hall and looked around. Toph, Ty Lee, and Azula were there, but no Zuko. Iroh was likely opening the Jasmine Dragon, and Jun, of course, would be taking up space somewhere close to the kitchen, unless she had a bounty to catch. Katara ran her hands through her hair nervously, and smoothed imaginary wrinkles out of her dress. Zuko didn't stay to bathe with her, instead going off to do his sun meditations, and he still wasn't there when she got out of the tub. She'd dressed and left the room, nervously looking to see if anyone was around. She'd prepared the story she would tell if she should run into someone on her way out of his room. It wasn't entirely a lie; she _was_ looking for Zuko. She just wouldn't say that she'd spent the night with him.

"Wow, you look really pretty, Katara," Ty Lee said leaning forward on the table with her chin in her hands. "Something special going on?"

"Yeah," Toph snorted. "_Something_ special's going on alright." She was leaning back with her feet on the table and picking her teeth. "Maybe your something special can get Fire Lord Mopey to open up again."

Katara didn't even have a chance to sputter her denial, already feeling her face heat up.

"He has been rather grumpy lately," Ty Lee said, her finger against her chin.

"That's because his job is giving him hell." Toph pointed a finger in Katara's general direction. "Fix him."

"I can't—"

"It's just like in that one romance scroll!" Ty Lee squealed, leaning towards Katara. "The handsome young Fire Lord with the cute butt is struggling to maintain control of a nation moving away from the mindset of war. He feels the whole world is against him. The whole world except his secret lover. The only way for the nation to be saved is for the two lovers to come together in a beautiful and extravagant wedding full of fairness and justice and love!"

Katara rolled her eyes. "Really, Ty Lee, that's ridiculous."

"No," Toph said seriously, dropping her feet from the table. "I can get behind that. It's a little dramatic, but I can fix that, too."

"Huh. You smell like him."

Katara whirled around to glare at Azula. "Not you, too. And you can't go around sniffing people!"

"I don't," Azula retorted, throwing an arm over the back of her chair. "It's kind of hard to miss."

"Anyway, dish," Ty Lee said, nearly bouncing in her seat. "I want all the juicy details. And if you won't tell, I'll get them from the guards who patrol the halls outside his room. They may not know who Zuko's 'lady friend' was, but I do."

The door opened before she could tell them to back off, and that Ty Lee was way off base, and Zuko came in. He didn't seem to mind that everyone watched him as he made his way to his seat next to Katara. Of course he wouldn't. Zuko was probably used to that kind of thing. It came with the territory. Which would also be her territory soon. Their conversation that morning left her feeling more confident; Zuko had a lot to juggle, and he would need someone to help him manage it all, someone he could trust beyond a shadow of a doubt. He was afraid of rejection, what it would mean to be married, and some political stuff. That was it, with a generous helping of anxiety and a bad year. No matter what he said, he did still look for approval from certain people, and he dreaded the thought that they might turn their backs on him. Even if she was still a bit miffed that he would hold so much in when he clearly needed to let it out, she would be there for the rest of their lives. Sometimes he still needed a bit of a push, and it would be easier to share if she wasn't so far away.

"What happened there?" Azula asked slyly, pointing to Zuko's arm.

All attention was drawn to faint mark, and Katara wanted to sink under the table, but there was a knock, and the doors opened and servants started coming in to deliver breakfast.

"I'm an adult," Zuko said to Azula, crossing his arms. "I can do what I want."

Azula mocked him, but her wide grin spoiled everything. Azula was a beautiful girl. Woman. Now that she wasn't scowling or looking at people with hate and instilling fear in them, it was easy to admire her. There was a strong family resemblance to Zuko, not just in the way they looked, but it was starting to seep into the way they moved, too. It was almost like Azula was picking and choosing the parts she liked from people she admired and stitching them together like a quilt to form a new identity. She was picking up Zuko's grace and ease of movement, and she'd taken some of Toph's brusqueness, which really wasn't that far from her own, which is probably why she and Toph got along so well. And she was picking up style and social skills from Ty Lee, which wasn't exactly the best, either, depending on which "social skills" she chose to pick.

When the servants left, Zuko gave her a kiss on the cheek, placing his hand on her leg as he did so, which made her heart beat a double time staccato rhythm.

"You look beautiful. Sorry I had to run out on you this morning. I promise I'll make up for it, though." His hand lingered, giving her leg a squeeze, and Katara was relieved to see she wasn't the only one with a big goofy grin. The old love and tenderness was back, and she started to lean in and kiss him on the lips.

Then Ty Lee squealed with delight and ruined the moment. It was a miracle that she managed to keep her mouth shut about them, but it probably had something to do with her opinion that their relationship was like a real life romance novel. Best friends by day, secret lovers by night. She'd even come up with a title, but Katara had refused to listen to it. Honestly? Katara would have preferred it if Ty Lee hadn't found out, but after she'd seen Zuko with his face buried in her cleavage, licking dessert off her in an alcove outside one of the palace ballrooms, there was no way to _not_ tell her. For a while, Katara harbored a strong dislike for her favorite chocolate dessert, because if it hadn't fallen down the front of her dress at that party and setting off a chain of unfortunate events, Ty Lee never would have known. She'd harassed them for the details of their relationship ever since.

Rather hastily, the doors were thrown open again, and the servant almost didn't make it inside before they closed on him.

"My lord, and urgent message from Minister Hau." The servant bowed and handed the letter to Zuko before leaving in slightly less of a hurry.

The day had been going quite well up until this point, but Katara shouldn't have expected anything different. Sometimes she felt like the universe got her and Sokka mixed up. It was supposed to hate Sokka, not her.

"Is everything alright?" Katara asked, knowing it wasn't.

Zuko's mouth hung open, and he looked absolutely horrified, as if he'd just received the worst news of his life, and Katara prayed that it wasn't anything about Ursa, not with the way he was looking, not on top of the anxiety and fear and insecurity he'd been feeling lately. She leaned over to touch him, but he bolted out of his chair and ran from the room. Katara looked around at the others, but they were just as confused as she was.

* * *

><p>Ok, so first, I want to say that I'm sorry that some of you were able to read tones of an abusive relationship in last chapter. That wasn't my intent at all, and in hindsight, I can see where that came from. I intend to revise the chapter so it's more in line with the way the scene plays out in my head. To the lurkers who de-lurked because the chapter made you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry that's what made you de-lurk. I hope now that you're out of hiding, you'll continue to review. I am still editing the story, and will likely be making edits up until I post the last chapter. Reviews help me judge what needs to be more specific or where I don't need to have characters be so overt. Aside from making me happy, reviews are valuable revision tools.<p>

I also want to make a note that there are some underlying issues in the story that will make reappearances. Just because it's the end of the chapter doesn't mean the issue's being dropped ;) Katara was _never_ going to let that issue drop with Zuko, and they're not really done with it now, too. They've taken a big step forward in their relationship, and Zuko's going to have to take another big step in trust and sharing. After having some members of the council turn on him at the end of _The Chase_, Zuko has taken a step back as far as trust. He's keeping everything close to him, and the end result is that it's dumped a ton of work on him. With his council not taking on as much governance as before, someone's got to do that work. I don't think that was one of Zuko's immediate thoughts when he took power away from his council, but it needed to be done to remind them who the Fire Lord is.

(Gee, this is getting long...) It's not that Zuko's not trusting of his friends. He is, and he will share with them as much as he can. His secret keeper has been away for a year, but the things that he really needs to talk about, he _can't_. It would be irresponsible of Zuko to blab all about Fire Nation policy and politics and whatnot. He can't say to them "This guy is a total jerk and because of that, I'm losing a lot of support among the middle class. I'm going to shift his position around so he's not in the public eye as much. I don't want to get rid of him completely, because I still need his money, but I don't want to punch him in the eye, either." He shouldn't be talking about national business with people who aren't involved, particularly Katara, since she's there officially as the South's Ambassador. Of course, Zuko's also a pessimist, and this year's been a big blow to his confidence.

Ending on a happy note: Did Zuko just do what we think he did? :D


	7. Foundations for a House

Calla watched the Fire Lord pace, her eyes tracking his movement, noting his expression, something between anger and fear and hopelessness. She took note of the other people in the room, too. Chief of Staff, Minister Hau was the only one she knew off hand. No one had been introduced, but the middle aged woman with the black hair was referred to as Yina. Calla looked at the difference between Yina's clothes and Hau's, and decided she couldn't be part of the nobility. She didn't have any emblems of office, either, so she probably wasn't one of the ministers or council members. Her eyes were sharp, though, and while the Fire Lord's eyes were elsewhere, Yina's watched Calla ceaselessly.

There were others in the close room, too, and these did wear emblems of office. Two senior level officials and a general, people close enough to the Fire Lord that he would trust them with this information. She willed the Fire Lord to say some names so she could give something concrete to the group. Calla tried to memorize solid descriptions. Inara had spent time trailing the Fire Lord, so perhaps she would recognize the people and put names to faces. As much as they were looking to gain the trust of the Fire Lord, they needed to know they could trust him, too. Him and all those who worked closely with him.

Long had sent a letter to the palace early that morning, meant for the eyes of the Fire Lord only, explaining that he'd heard of a plot to poison him with Witch's Breath. He'd been as specific as possible, saying that he was sending Calla over with a sample of the poison and an antidote, and that she was free to be questioned as he saw fit. She'd been surprised when he accepted so quickly, wondering if he didn't already have some inkling of this plot. If he did, that would make her job easier.

"You are absolutely sure?" the Fire Lord asked.

Calla nodded. "Yes. Our finding out about the plot was pure luck. We were in the right place at the right time to hear the exchange. Finding out the details, however, that was the work."

He studied her. They were all studying her, from all angles, looking for the slightest hint that she wasn't telling them the truth. Sweat rolled down her back and Calla cursed her body. Of course it would choose the one moment she couldn't move to do something stupid like that. If she'd known it would be like this—like stepping into a hive of buzzard wasps—she would have let someone else approach the Fire Lord.

There was a knock at the door, and for a moment she thought it would break the tension, but the only one who moved was Yina. Calla held the Fire Lord's gaze even though she desperately wanted to turn and see who'd come in. She didn't have to wait long, as a slight blind barefoot girl came into her field of vision. She stopped next to the Fire Lord.

"When will they try to poison me with the Witch's Breath?" he asked.

"At the state dinner next week. The plan is to poison the soup."

"Truth."

So the blind one was the infamous Blind Bandit, Toph Bei Fong, and the Avatar's earthbending teacher. Lie detector extraordinaire. Calla relaxed a bit. She had no lies to tell; at this point lies would get them nowhere.

"I have the antidote here," Calla said, pushing the larger of the two vials forward. "It takes a while to counteract the poison, and during that time, the patient should be monitored closely."

"You have the antidote to what?" He crossed his arms.

Calla looked around the room, not entirely sure why he should ask a simple question. It was quite clear they were talking about the Witch's Breath. She'd mentioned that earlier, and hadn't named any other poison.

"I asked you a question. Which poison did you bring the antidote to?"

"Witch's Breath. The one that's going to be used in the soup."

The Fire Lord looked at the little earthbender, and she nodded. Truth. Calla could have punched herself. Of course. Lie by omission; yes you bring the antidote, but you don't say what it's the antidote to. He was good. The questioning continued for the better part of an hour, Calla guessed, and she answered everything as truthfully as possible. In the Fire Lord's posture, she looked for little signs that he was relenting, maybe finally opening up to her, but she saw nothing. His gaze remained intense, he remained focused.

"How long before the antidote takes effect?"

"My lord, you can't be serious about this!" The short, nervous minister stood, wringing his hands and looking quite desperate. "You cannot allow yourself to be poisoned. You are the ruler of the Fire Nation. You are all that stands—"

"I never said I was planning to let myself be poisoned." The Fire Lord pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We could station guards in the kitchen, prevent the poison from ever being added to the soup," Minister Hau suggested.

Calla shook her head. "That would stop this particular attempt, _if_ they plan to poison the soup while it's still in the kitchen, and I'm not sure they would. In any event, they'd try again, and we can't be sure we'd know about it a second time. I know the name of the shop where the poison was bought. There are others in town with me. We could go back there, sniff out the trail."

"Why should I trust you?"

Calla shrunk back in her chair. He was what? Twenty-one? She had some years on him, and she'd had a hard life full of people glaring at her like that, so why did he unnerve her so? She looked past him at the surrounding people, not wanting to mention Chem's name in front of the others. She didn't know how much he told them, and it wouldn't do to get the Fire Lord in trouble with his council members since they were trying to gain his trust.

"_He_ does not rule us all as he thinks he does," she said.

"Toph, Hau, and Yina stay. Everyone else is dismissed."

The others filed out of the room, though not without a few grumbles, but Calla didn't miss that those grumbles were concern for his safety, not only being in a room with her, but over the poison plot, too. Either he'd chosen his allies wisely, or people just cared that much about him as a Fire Lord. Not that the two had to be taken separately. It was just…unusual. If Chem thought he was going to waltz into the capitol and start drumming up support for his manic ideas, he had another thing coming to him. The Fire Lord sat in a chair opposite her and gestured for her to speak.

"The way things happened at the prison… It changed a lot of our minds." She didn't miss the pained look that crossed his face, the way he turned away from her, and she grit her teeth, cursing Chem's blindness. That was _remorse_ on his face. Remorse for needless deaths. "We don't blame you. We _can't_ blame you for trying to protect yourself and Master Katara. We blame Chem. _He_ betrayed us. We stand with Long and Inara, now."

His head snapped up. "Inara? The bounty hunter?"

Calla nodded slowly, gestured toward Hau. "Chem got lucky there, too. Inara's good at what she does, which is undoubtedly why she caught your attention. He was also unlucky in that Inara and he don't see eye to eye."

"So what you're saying is that your boss man isn't as much of a boss as he thinks," the earthbender said. "So where is he? Why haven't you overthrown him yet?"

"We lost touch with him after the riots in Ba Sing Se, and that's when Long and Inara made their move with the coup. While Chem and his lackeys were holed up in the city, those of us who've had enough gathered. If he had listened to Inara before we went in there… _Twice_ we could have met you on neutral ground. Hell, before that, _so_ many times. But Chem… He's so caught up in his ideas, and I understand he's had to live on rumors, and rumors aren't always kind, but he takes things to a whole new level of ignorant. Chem..."

Calla clamped her mouth shut. She had good friends that died that day at the prison, and Chem gave his eulogy talking about soldiers and war. They weren't naïve, and they understood that sometimes just a little more fighting was needed, but they hadn't wanted combat like that. She'd looked around and saw open anger on the faces of the gathered. That fight had been a wakeup call. Never before had they lost numbers like that, and despite what Chem was determined to have them believe, many of those deaths were needless.

"What about Chem?" the Fire Lord prompted quietly, halfway lost in his own thoughts.

Maybe there was no better way to convince the Fire Lord that they were trustworthy than to spill forward all her dislike for that man and the way he manipulated them.

"No offense, but I don't even know how your mother looks. I could have passed her a thousand times in my travels, and not known her from some other Fire Nation woman."

Everyone's heads snapped up at this, and Calla saw her chance to discredit Chem.

"Most of the people in his army aren't loyal to your mother. They've never met her. They're loyal to _Chem_."

.O.

Katara was exhausted. How two groups could spend three _hours_ arguing over the price of two buildings was beyond her. And she still didn't think they'd come to an agreement. Some general noises were made that sounded something like agreement, but nothing was written down, and no secretaries called for. She rubbed her eyes, figuring she'd catch a quick nap, then grab a late lunch at the Jasmine Dragon.

"Hey, Katara."

She turned around, and there was Zuko, walking toward her. She studied his face, looking for any disturbance, but couldn't find anything. He didn't seem to be too upset about that letter he got at breakfast, even though he'd been nearly invisible since then.

"How did your meeting go?" she asked as they fell in step.

"Fruitful. Enlightening. Confirmed some things. Stirred up some guilt. Gave me some leads on questioning Fu and his friends." He shrugged. "The usual."

They walked quietly down the hall, and her hand brushed his, and she nearly keeled over when he grabbed her hand and held it. He smiled down at her, squeezing her hand, and she couldn't help but smile because there were people in the hallway. People who were looking at them, noting their holding hands and their smiles. And nothing was exploding.

"I've got a few names that I'd like to give you in connection with my mom," he said quietly. "They're women from her past who I think are most likely to help her."

"You asked Uncle about Lily of the Valley?" she asked, nearly stopping.

Zuko gently tugged her, nodding. "It was fruitful, enlightening, confirmed some things, stirred up some guilt, gave me some leads on finding her, made me angry. The usual. She got the name Lily of the Valley because she's a master of poisons. Also, I guess, because people thought she was poison to the royal family."

"What? Your mother?" Now there was a shocker.

"Go figure, right? She worked with Uncle and my aunt to keep Ozai away from the throne, but things backfired when Uncle let his anger get the best of him… There was an Agni Kai."

Zuko stopped abruptly. Katara watched as he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before opening his eyes again.

"Zuko?" Katara gave his hand a firm squeeze, noticing that it was getting warmer.

"I…um…" He shook his head, and his temperature began returning to normal. "Bad things happened after the Agni Kai. Ozai was furious when he found out Mom betrayed him. Then some worse stuff…"

"Like—"

"Anyway, she ended up earning Azulon's respect."

Katara's eyes widened appreciatively. "Wow. Your mom's pretty cool."

"I know." Zuko smiled again. "You were going to your room, right?"

She nodded. Katara was glad that he was smiling again. He had such a nice smile, and they could talk about the bad things later if he wanted. She knew when to push and when to wait for him to tell her. They'd reached the residential floors, and there weren't as many people here during the middle of the day, but the servants moving about noticed them holding hands, and sometimes their eyes lingered a little longer than they usually would. A few of the ministers from the outer islands who were staying in the capitol were around, too, which made her nervous. She knew that if they found even the slightest thing wrong with her and Zuko, they'd give him hell. Or at least attempt to do so. Their success rates would be questionable.

Zuko asked about the reconstruction of the South, and Katara was all too happy to oblige, telling him about the new houses, Sokka's architecture, her leading an army of waterbending builders, a reconvening of the council, of which her father resumed his place as chief. The booming population. Zuko listened intently as they walked. By the time they reached her door, her heart was pounding because she _knew_ he was up to something.

"Sounds like you've been busy," Zuko said, standing in front of her.

"There's been a lot to do. It's good to keep busy."

He sighed. "Hau says we should let people know that we're in love," he said quietly, "which means being public about some parts of our relationship. I've been horrible to you lately—"

"You already explained yourself," Katara said, hoping to stop another self depreciating speech. "I know—"

He was kissing her. He was _kissing_ her. In the hallway. And there were people around. They were watching. Her heart was beating furiously, and it felt like their first kiss again—the first real kiss, not the accidental surprise kiss while sparring, which hadn't been bad—and his lips were so soft it was sinful. His hands were on her waist and he pulled her closer, and she cupped his face, caressing his cheeks. She sighed into the kiss and willed it to never end. She was on fire, and she bit back that obscene noise she usually made when his mouth was on other parts of her body, but she didn't fight the shiver when he trailed his hands lightly up her spine.

The only reason she pulled away was because inappropriate things might happen in the hallway, and she didn't think either one of them were willing to go _that_ far just yet. Already, she could taste the ashes on his tongue, and she knew he was just as excited and thrilled as she was. When they parted, he sighed and licked his lips as if savouring everything that was her.

"So, yeah. I guess I don't see the problem in being open about some things," he practically whispered, his chest heaving.

She grabbed his shirt in her fist and yanked him to her so hard that he had to slam his hands against her door to keep from bashing his head. She captured his lips and took him hostage, refusing to relinquish her delicious prisoner. The bang of his hands against her door had drawn a bit more attention, and Katara deepened the kiss, stroking his tongue with hers, and he growled deep in his throat, one of his hands sliding down to cup her bottom and give it a squeeze as he pressed her firmly back against the door. She caressed his scarred cheek, and with her actions made this declaration to those stupid, stuffy noblewomen watching:

Mine.

* * *

><p>Yay for celebratory updates! This story finally has an ending! Now I just have to go back and do some editing, and then I'll be done, and all I'll have to do is post :D I think this is a great celebratory chapter. Little tidbits about Lily of the Valley will be dropped throughout the story. Zutara kiss! To be honest, at this point, I don't think the world would explode if Zuko and Katara got together. Sure, there will always be people who have a problem with it, but I think the majority of the people in the Fire Nation-the middle and lower classes-just couldn't care less. What would matter more is competency; can their leaders do what they're supposed to do, and can they do it efficiently and effectively. If anyone's going to have a problem with it, I think it would be the nobility. Those who're looking to position their daughters into greater power would resent this match. Plus, a marriage for love when the Fire Nation generally marries for politics is a sure sign of a new era :D<p> 


	8. Call Me Back Through the Years

"What do you think I should do, Na?"

"Honestly, sweetheart, I don't know why you keep asking me that. It's not as if you ever listen, anyway."

"Don't even go there, Na. I'm not listening to it tonight."

Na held up her hands in a placating gesture. "I wasn't going to say anything about him."

Ursa pulled out her chair and sat down at the dinner table. Na noted that her closest friend was more conflicted than usual. They'd only been in the little town for just over a month, but Na thought it was time for a return to the Fire Nation. Ursa was still reluctant. Most of that she knew was just Ursa's nerves, but there was also That Damn Man in the way.

"Give me a little time—"

"Ursa!"

"It's got nothing to do with Chem! Maybe a little, but I need him to get to Opo. You heard what he did with the Phoenix Brigade, Na, and don't look at me like that. If I can get him to Opo…"

Na poked at her food, no longer hungry. "We don't know that it was him."

"Who else could it have been? I sent him there. If it wasn't him… I don't want to think about that." Ursa shrugged, pushing her plate away, too.

Travelling constantly and living in isolated towns made getting news extremely hard, and they often received it late. They'd only just heard, and through secret, whispered gossip, that Ozai's elite special force, the Phoenix Brigade, had been completely wiped out. Ursa had been beside herself, pleased that Chem was able to find a way to do it. Sure, Na had helped get the message to Chem that Ursa was at the prison, and indeed Ursa had been in the Phoenix Brigade's clutches at one point, but neither had any way of knowing for sure that it was Chem who'd taken them out. The most information they could get was that it was a massacre, and the building had been burned. Everyone agreed that it would take a whole army to bring those fools down, and there was _no way_ Chem could have gathered an army. Spirits help us all if he did.

"Let's sit outside," Ursa said, standing and nodding to the door.

The two women left their meal unfinished on the table and sat out on the back porch and looked at the night sky. The stars were bright, and the night was cool, so the two huddled together. Ursa lay her head on Na's shoulder, and Na wrapped her arm around Ursa's shoulder, and Ursa lay her arm across Na's leg.

"Remember, we were just like this the day before you left for the capitol," Na said, laughing.

Ursa laughed behind her hand. "The night before I left, and so many nights as little girls."

They fell into a companionable silence, and Na stroked Ursa's shoulder, lending a little more strength, doing her best to call back times that felt simpler. Less stressful. Ursa could hide her pain from the world, but she could never hide from Na.

"I wonder what he looks like, now."

Na smiled. She couldn't help harassing her friend. "You could always go back and find out."

Ursa pinched her leg. "Don't be a pest, Na. If I go back now, Chem won't ever go to Opo because he'll know I'm not there. I want him to take out the cell of Ozai supporters. I can give my son these little gifts."

They were quiet again. It was nice of Ursa to try to help out this way, but Na always thought she could do more if she just went back. Granted, it had been hard to figure out just what was coming from the Fire Lord and what came from Ozai supporters, and many of those early years were spent running from Ozai, but things seemed different now. Na wished she could have been with Ursa the entire time instead of Chem, but she'd had her own troubles and her own family to protect.

The truth was that Ursa needed Chem in some ways. Na couldn't deny that he managed to accomplish things for Ursa that no one else had been able to. Like getting her out of a Fire Nation occupied Ba Sing Se without notice, when it was crawling with soldiers who would have gladly turned her in to Ozai for a promotion. While Na was stuck trying to convince Ozai that Kirachu would not secede from the Fire Nation, and that they weren't a threat, Chem had managed to keep Ursa one step ahead of Ozai's goons. For the most part. He was free to protect her in ways he couldn't while she was in the palace. Na supposed she should be grateful. It still didn't change the fact that she thought he'd transformed into a weasel of a man.

There was no convincing Ursa that Chem was a horrendous beast because he acted so differently around her. Na left that issue as one of those things that her friend would have to find out for herself. So long as Ursa was on the run, to a certain degree, she needed to believe that Chem was sane and on her side. Ursa needed to believe that she could always depend on someone to help her get away. Na took comfort in knowing there would be hell to pay when Ursa realized the truth about Chem. No one would save him from the destruction he created on his own.

"When do you have to get back to your family?" Ursa asked.

"Next month. My oldest is getting married."

"Is she, now?" Ursa asked, sitting up. "She doesn't mind that her mother's off on some adventure to protect her childhood friend?"

Na laughed and rolled her eyes. "Please, she'd be here with us if she could. She had a blast when you stayed with us. Keeps asking when it's safe for you to come back. She's a regular old rebel, that one."

Ursa settled down again, and not for the first time, Na wished the rest of the world would disappear and leave the two of them alone on a porch, cuddled under the stars.

At some point, Na figured, she'd have to tell Ursa that she wasn't exactly keeping quiet about the fact that she, Na, was in this little village on Whale Tail Island, waiting for the Fire Lord.

.O.

Ba Sing Se had its newspapers. The Fire Nation had busybodies who minded everyone's business except their own.

The past week and a half was a glimpse into some of the happiness Katara could share with Zuko. They walked through the palace or sometimes visited the Jasmine Dragon holding hands, and no one said anything rude. Quite a few people smiled, and the ones who looked like they _thought_ they were going to say something nasty got a glare from Zuko, and they kept their opinions to themselves for the time being. Zuko would rest his hand on her lower back when he opened doors for her, or put his arm around her waist when they sat by the fountain in the public garden, and she would lean on his shoulder. They hadn't kissed in public after that first time, and she hadn't publicly gone in his room.

Katara also began to understand some of Zuko's hesitation to make their relationship even semi-public. It's like the entire capitol suddenly had nothing better to do than gossip about them. Zuko explained that it was a very rare thing for a young, unmarried Fire Lord to be on the throne, and he reminded her that the people of the Fire Nation loved a good love story _almost_ as much as his uncle did. It was an entire city of Ty Lees demanding details and asking questions and wanting rumors confirmed and invitations to parties that might as well have been called 'Tell Me Details, I Need Fodder for My Sexy Fire Lord Fantasy' parties. People offered advice on nearly every topic, whether solicited or not. And their kiss? Unofficially dubbed 'hot lip action,' thought that sounded entirely too much like Toph sticking her nose where it didn't belong.

And then there was Iroh. Sweet, sweet, meddling, manipulative Iroh.

She and Zuko were trying to enjoy a quiet lunch, sitting side by side in a booth at the Jasmine Dragon, with Ty Lee and Toph banished to a table at the far end of the restaurant so that it would remain quiet. Katara was happy because Zuko was actually eating, and she hadn't seen him eat nearly the entire time she'd been there. On top of that, he wasn't sleeping as much. Even though she'd come to him every evening for cuddles and sleep, she often felt the bed shift behind her as he got out. Sometimes he would pace, sometimes sit out on the balcony, sometimes he'd leave altogether. Concerned, Katara followed him and found that he'd go to his office, where he'd do more work. Worst were the nights where he'd just sit and stare off into space. He'd slowly begun opening up to her again, but she could tell there were still some things he was keeping from her.

"We haven't had a friendly game of pai sho in quite some time, nephew. Maybe you should come over when you have free time."

"The last time you invited me for pai sho, you weren't actually interested in the game, Uncle."

Iroh had come to sit at their table, even though the tea shop was packed. Katara tried to will him away because Zuko was in a rare good and untroubled mood, and she wanted him to stay that way. She wasn't willing to risk any disturbance, family or not. After speaking with Hau about Zuko's sleeping and eating habits, she'd convinced him to get a few of the more trusted council members to take a load off Zuko. Zuko had to have noticed his workload decrease a bit, but he didn't say anything to her. If he wasn't going to mention it, then neither was she.

"But we did play, nephew."

"I also remember that I won." Zuko raised his eyebrow at Iroh, smirking in triumph.

"Yes, well." Iroh cleared his throat, looking a little cross. "I was distracted."

Zuko snorted, and Katara thought that maybe a little teasing from Iroh wouldn't be too bad. At least Zuko was smiling.

"Since my nephew is being thoroughly uncooperative, dearest Katara, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind indulging an old man." Iroh covered her hand with his and smiled.

"No, she wouldn't," Zuko cut in.

"Don't speak for me," Katara said, giving his shoulder a playful shove. "I'd love to indulge."

"My nephew once told me of a spot of trouble he ran into during a fertility festival—"

Katara was trying to take a sip of her tea, but she started choking. It felt like her throat was on fire and her eyes started to water. Iroh tried to pat her back, concerned that she might actually hurt herself, but she waved him away. That was _their_ secret. It was the one time they'd ever been unfaithful, the only time they ever had an affair, and they'd both regretted it seriously. Things only got worse when she'd thought she was pregnant. It turned out that she wasn't, and that Zuko was a secret optimist, hoping that she was pregnant because they could get married and raise _their_ child together and be happy. They'd still agreed to keep it between them.

"You weren't supposed to say anything about that!" Katara whispered fiercely, jabbing Zuko in the shoulder. "That was our secret."

"I slipped and he knew something happened, but he didn't know it was you until you just said something," he retorted, slapping her jabbing finger away. She hated when he did that. He was supposed to accept his jabs. So she jabbed him again. "Cut that out!"

"Isn't that the cutest," Ty Lee "whispered" from across the restaurant, drawing attention to them again. She was standing up so she could see better.

Iroh sighed wistfully. "Ah, young love—"

"Don't." Zuko looked pointedly at Iroh. "I don't need you to start one of your 'when I was young and in love' tales. We'll be here all night."

Iroh smiled, and Zuko smiled, and Katara smiled, and then she thought that one day, Zuko would be more like Iroh than Ozai, and he'd tell their children about his own adventures in young love. She reached for Zuko's hand and gave it a squeeze, and the world around them disappeared. It was like they were back on Ember Island in the months before the war ended, and the way he'd smiled at her on the beach. The one that said, for once, without a shadow of a doubt, he could be happy.

And then she started planning her wedding dress again, because she wanted something powerful and special, and she wanted to be beautiful for Zuko. Something that would look amazing on her and that no other woman would _ever_ be able to top. It would be long, of course, and flowing, with lots of embroidery. And big sleeves, because she liked big sleeves. But that would have to depend on the weather. She didn't want to get married in the summer because summers had the potential to get really hot and she refused to sweat in her dress. The sages would likely refuse any other date though. Maybe she could convince them that early summer would be best. It could symbolize the eternal youth and the growing strength of their relationship. Their love and power would forever be in its prime. She should write that down, just in case they tried to put up a fuss…

Zuko tapped her shoulder, and when she came out of her fantasy of goading the Fire Sages into doing what she wanted, Katara realized everyone was watching her. She looked around sheepishly, but Zuko just shook his head.

"You can't drift off like this in meetings, Katara," he said, running his thumb over her knuckles. "I was saying that another drawback to people thinking you're a real person is they like to chant 'kiss,' and expect you to do it. And said chant was undoubtedly started by two nosy people at the other end of the restaurant."

"Just doing my job," Toph called, raising her cup to them.

Katara's heart leapt into her throat, and she couldn't tell from Zuko's playful expression whether he was actually considering it or not. Then Iroh magicked something out of thin air that Zuko couldn't refuse: not only was it his favorite dessert, but it was his favorite dessert with his favorite fruit inside. The gentle aroma of moon peach blossoms was nearly irresistible to Zuko, which, Katara suspected, was why Yina got her that moon peach blossom soap for her bath. Zuko probably didn't even notice that he was leaning toward the dessert, or that Iroh was slightly pulling it back, tempting him with a sly grin on his face. Katara wasn't sure whether she should scold Iroh for trying to bribe his nephew or thank him.

Clearly food worked as a motivator for Zuko just like it did with Sokka. People were chanting and banging on the tables, and Zuko shrugged. He leaned in and she leaned in, and he put his hand on her cheek, and she couldn't tell if that was her heartbeat or the people cheering, and his lips were _so close_ to hers…

"My lord!" The door flew open and a messenger tripped over himself trying to get to Zuko in a hurry. "An urgent message from Minister Hau."

Katara was pretty sure that Iroh screamed the loudest of all the disappointed people. When Zuko left, he took the dessert.

* * *

><p>Oh my god! Look! It's Ursa! So, this means we're getting closer. Zuko and Katara just can't get a break ;) This chapter just amuses me so much. I'm going to shut up now.<p> 


	9. All Down, All Down

Chem had developed a nervous tic. He'd delayed going to Opo for _this_? This. It was pathetic.

"It's only because it was short notice," Bo whispered, although he looked worried, too.

This wasn't even half of their strength. It was closer to one third, and he would have to make do with that. He frowned as he walked into the room, his hands inside his sleeves, and his face stern. Even with only a third of their total numbers, they could still do a lot. They could still spare people to send to the capitol to speak with the waterbender, who would speak with that fell beast she called a lover who turned his back on people in need—the very people who had opened their own gates to him when _he_ was in need. Twice now, he betrayed the people of Ba Sing Se.

Chem walked down the steps into the storage room proper and the gathered fell silent. He scanned their faces, locked in their names. Still no Fei.

"Listen to me, and listen to me good," he said, his voice raised so he could be heard. "We are so close to achieving our goal that I can smell the lotus lilies blossoming in the springtime. I can feel the cooling, nourishing rain on my skin. I can taste the ash bananas and the cool milk, and I can feel the grass beneath my bare feet and between my toes. We are _so_ close."

He paused to let appreciative mumbles go through the crowd. He needed them to taste it, to want it as badly as he did.

"But there are obstacles. The biggest obstacle, of course, is the Fire Lord himself. Home cannot be home so long as he is there ignoring what must be done to restore us to the glory we had before Sozin came along. Let us move in stages. We must send people to the Fire Nation so that they may befriend Lady Katara. As you know, she is the key, waterbender though she is, to rebuilding our nation.

"Her heart is kind, and she is compassionate, and she will listen to reason rather than listen to the age old politics of one warring family or another. We _must_ persuade her, and I believe that once she is aware that changes must be made in order for this world to survive, it will not be hard to turn her. I have laid a foundation, but she has been distant over the past year. She does not take my warnings as seriously as she should. We need a change of tactics. You may volunteer, but ultimately, I will choose those who go to the Fire Nation to wait for her, if she is not already there. Young and female are the major criteria. She must not perceive you as a threat."

Looking through the group, Chem could already find three or four young women who would suit this purpose. One in particular he thought would be a good candidate. She was a young Earth Kingdom woman who'd been in Ba Sing Se during the coup, had her life destroyed twice by the Fire Lord. Her family's shop in the lower ring had been destroyed when the riots broke out. Chem knew her to be a passionate person with a talent for words; she would be able to convince the ambassador just as she had convinced him. Someone must control the Fire Nation, someone must talk sense into the ear of the Fire Lord or the whole world would suffer.

"There is another matter which I wish to speak with you about: there is danger and struggle abroad, yes, but there is also danger much closer to home. Within our _own_ ranks. You are familiar with the tracker Long and the bounty hunter Inara, yes? Well, make yourselves more familiar with these traitors because they must be hunted and brought to justice. They are the greatest threat to your freedom. Not the Fire Lord, not those who would capture you for the money. No, the greatest threats to your freedom are those defiling the memories of soldiers who gave their lives in service to our great cause. Long and Inara claim their deaths were _needless_. Needless! The commander of an army does not call the deaths of his soldiers needless. He does not demean them, he does _not_ deny their _sacrifice_! Those men and women, those we properly laid to rest and cared for, those allies, those _friends_ did not die for nothing!"

He was breathing quickly now, letting his anger fuel him. He stood before the gathered, let them cheer their agreement or shout their anger at the traitors, and he held his arms wide as if he would embrace them all.

"It is our _strength_ that will see us through. The rightness of our cause will not be denied. The Fire Nation _will_ be restored!"

.O.

It seemed like everyone in the palace was rushing. Moving quickly from one place to the next, carrying things, pushing things, looking for things. Maybe it was Katara's own hurried mind that made everything move quickly. Maybe it was that state dinner the next night.

Katara took a deep breath then knocked on the door to Zuko's office. She was surprised to see that General Jee—formerly Captain Jee—opened it and admitted her inside. Toph, Hau, Yina, and Cultural Ministers Lide and Ukani were there as well. And one woman Katara didn't recognize. Zuko was sitting behind his desk with his elbows on his knees, his fingers laced in front of his face. He could have been a statue, he was so still.

"Ambassador Katara, this is Calla," Hau said, gesturing to the young woman. "She is from Chem's army, and came last week to inform us that the army is fracturing. She belongs to a faction led by the tracker Long and the bounty hunter Inara."

"What?" Katara looked around, but she seemed to be the only one hearing this for the first time. _Including_ Toph. She turned to Zuko, but Hau kept talking.

"Recently, we discovered another assassination plot against Fire Lord Zuko. His majesty tells me that you were present when the butcher Fu was arrested. He is a lower ranking member of this unsteady alliance, a footsoldier, if you will, and with the information that Miss Calla brought us, as well as what she was able to ascertain over the past week, we were able to confront Fu and the people he works with about these plans."

Katara sunk into the seat that had been offered her at the start of the meeting. Zuko still hadn't moved, and she wanted to reach out to him, to demand answers, because for the past week and a half, he'd been playing like he was serious about her. He'd made that _speech_ to her. The speech about letting her know everything and then choose if she wanted to marry him. She blinked and felt a little sheepish. Was that what he was doing by calling her to the meeting? But Toph was there, too. She tried to quell that terrible feeling in her stomach.

"I have my eye on two particular candidates," Yina said. "Councilmen Kin and Councilwoman Ina. From the gathered information, they are the most likely would be assassins, and are among those who stood to lose the most by the recent change in rules regarding his majesty's council. Anytime they are involved, there are no idle threats. One rarely acts without the other, and many of their business ventures are tied together."

Yina was Zuko's master of secrets, yes, but Katara hadn't thought he'd actually used her for anything serious. But then, the day Fu was arrested, he'd said he was in a meeting and needed to get back. He had to have known somehow. Was he spying on his own city? And why should she be so surprised? The post war Fire Nation needed a lot of supervising, and Zuko couldn't be in every place all the time.

"I can set a watch on their houses," Jee offered. "I've personally seen one or the other—but never both at once—spending time with a third or fourth cousin of yours. Baal, I think his name is. It could be that they intend to replace you with this cousin, who would be a puppet. Not the brightest flame, that one."

Ukani, the nervous minister, was wringing his hands. "But on what charge? We don't have a reason to be watching them other than Mistress Yina's suspicions. Shouldn't we have some kind of warrant?" Katara nodded firmly in agreement.

"Warrants are issued on my order," Zuko said flatly. "Set the watch, Jee. If you need to, take a few of the servants into custody, too. I'll issue an order for sterner questioning of those already in custody, and maybe we'll fish around Baal's finances to see what we can dig up."

"So how do we intend to stop the poison?" Toph asked, for once not indulging in any of her nasty habits.

She was sitting in the chair with her feet firmly on the ground and her arms crossed. Katara squinted at the girl, wondering when Toph had become so serious. And when she started wearing a dress. And when she'd actually taken a _bath_. Toph was frowning, shifting her feet, and Katara wondered if Toph was picking up on her speeding heart. She'd never felt so out of the loop before.

"It would be too much of a risk to poison the whole pot," this woman, Calla, said. "They intend poison only the bowl that's meant for the Fire Lord, which helps us narrow down where we need to be."

"The Fire Lord's portion is always set out first," Yina said.

Calla scratched her face as she thought. "There are fifty in the city with me who—"

"Fifty?" Katara hadn't meant for her voice to sound so high or shrill.

Everyone turned to her, and she noted the annoyance on Lide's face, as if the woman had to deal with a child who walked in on an adult meeting. Like she wanted to say, 'go away, the big kids are having a talk.' Zuko remained motionless, a statue. He owed her more than this.

"My lord, you can't still be thinking about taking the poison, can you? Please, I'm begging you, let me take it in your place," Ukani pleaded. He started to get out of his chair but Lide grabbed the back of his robe and pulled him down into his seat.

"I highly doubt his majesty is planning any such thing," Lide said, though there was a question in her voice that said she wasn't entirely sure.

This made _no_ sense to her. Zuko may be a jerk about wanting to do things on his own, but he never had any problem asking for help when it came to assassination attempts and plots. Hell, he'd spoken to _Toph_ about it. Katara couldn't stop the hurt from creeping up like fingers of ice and lodging themselves in her heart. She sat limply in the chair, her mouth hanging open, uncomprehending.

"My people aren't known in the upper circles," Calla said. "If you let us pose as waiters and waitresses during the dinner, we can better move about and track that poison. It will likely be a member of the palace's staff that will actually put the poison in the soup."

"Though we've had no proof, I am suspicious of a number of them. I will give you a list of names and point them out to you so that you may know them by sight," Yina said.

Katara watched as Yina moved to Zuko's desk. He nodded at her, and she took a pen and a piece of parchment and wrote down a list of names, which she handed to Calla. No one paid Katara much attention as the conversation turned toward how best to catch the culprits. Much of this was conducted without input from Zuko. He remained still, and Katara kept her eyes trained on him, knowing he was still attentive and listening. And that meant he was deliberately ignoring her, even though she was glaring a hole in his head. A few times, Toph shifted in her direction, but she said nothing.

Pain gave way to anger, and Katara clenched the fabric of her dress in her fists. It wasn't right for him to do this, to shut her out when she had been so open with him about everything. If this was what Zuko was worried about, he had no reason to worry. He should have known that. He was merely defending himself. He should have known he could trust her.

"It is customary that the dinner not begin until the Fire Lord takes the first bite, which is likely why the soup was chosen," Yina said, frowning. "It is the first course, and whoever chose the poison must have known the menu. Witch's Breath is one of the strongest poisons known, and would need strong flavors to cover it."

Katara's head snapped up at the mention of Witch's Breath, anger being switched for blatant fear. Yina calling it one of the strongest poisons was a gross understatement. Four drops of that could kill a bull buffalo yak in its prime. She felt cold as she looked around the group, not understanding why they weren't speaking with more concern. Ukani seemed to be the only one who understood the gravity of the situation.

"We have an antidote—"

"No," she said firmly, shaking her head, sounding desperate. "No, Zuko, absolutely not. You _cannot_ do this."

Ukani was looking vindicated, glad to have someone agree with him, and so emphatically. Zuko turned to her slightly, a pained expression on his face.

"I may be able to skirt the poisoned soup, but what if everything is poisoned?"

"Do _none_ of you know what Witch's Breath does?"

"We have looked into it's properties, my lady," Hau said. "It is not a poison native to the Fire Nation, and we have found little of it other than that it speeds up the heart."

"Like I was saying," Calla said, annoyed, gesturing to the large vial on Zuko's desk. "I've got the antidote."

"Give it." Katara held out her hand and waited. No one moved. "Give me the damn bottle!"

Zuko handed her the larger of the vials, and Katara studied it, turning the vial over in her hands, then uncorking it and sniffing the contents. She dabbed a bit on her finger and looked at it. It was a deep purple in color. She touched the tip of her tongue to it.

"The hell are you doing? Are you crazy?"

Calla tried to take the vial away, but Katara held it out of her reach. She looked at Zuko, shaking her head. While the mood was appropriately somber, their research clearly failed them. Tears stung at her eyes, and she took deep breaths, hoping to hold them back and calm herself. This wasn't the time for her tears. That they were treating this so cavalierly… They didn't really understand what was at stake, but she _knew_ Witch's Breath.

"Witch's Breath grows only at the poles. It speeds up the heart. We use it only rarely, always with caution, and never by anyone less than a master healer who's been practicing for at least seven years. No more than _half a drop_. There is _no_ antidote to Witch's Breath, despite what people say, other than to wait for the heartrate to return to normal naturally. The most common treatment for overdose is what this woman brought. Hazel Leaf slows down the heart, and the intent is to slow down the heart with Hazel Leaf as much as the Witch's Breath speeds it up."

The room was quiet, and Toph was groaning and covering her ears. She knew what Katara knew, that after Zuko took that bolt of lightning, he couldn't redirect it all. Some of it entered his heart, leaving its beat irregular. For the most part, it wouldn't make much of a difference in his life, but to introduce such a strong poison into his system, then another poison to counteract it…she didn't know if his heart could stand the strain. They had no idea just how much of the Witch's Breath would be used. Trying to counteract it with the Hazel Leaf would be like randomly opening cages at the zoo, blindfolded, and hoping you don't get in with the territorial platypus protecting newborn cubs.

Katara pleaded with him. "I will _not_ test my skill against your life. Not again."

* * *

><p>Let me say this about this chapter first and foremost: I will miss Chem when he's not around anymore. It it <em>loads<em> of fun writing him! In any event, Chem is moving his plan into the next stage, looking to gain a foothold in the Fire Nation. As a note, not everyone in his army is wanted for some kind of bounty. There is a fair number of them who have been driven out of the Fire Nation for one reason or another (anti-war activities, being on the wrong end of the political spectrum, some leaving to find a better life, etc), but not everyone has a bounty on their heads. Chem's just that charismatic that he could lead people to believe that the Fire Lord keeps of list of all people kicked out, and if he learns of their return, he wouldn't be above putting a bounty on them. For all they know, this is true. Chem's crazy is tinged with enough logic to be plausible.

We're also getting a bit into the darker side of being Fire Lord in a post-war Fire Nation that spent the majority of the past 100 years being victorious. Though Zuko, Iroh, and their allies have worked hard to root out all those who supported the old regime, five years is still a relatively short time, and there will be some who evade detection. Nothing like a good, old-fashioned poison plot to bring them out of the woodwork, though. It's a battle that Zuko will be fighting until the day he dies (or retires), and his heir would fight, and that would probably continue for the _next_ 100 years.

By the way, some issues will carry over to next chapter, too.


	10. Faithfully

Everyone sat silently, waiting for Zuko to decide what he should do. What they should do. He sat stone still, saying nothing, and Katara fretted, not sure where his mind was going. She wished he would say something, or at the least move. Finally, he sighed and ran his hands over his face.

"It was never my intention to ingest the poison, but I had hoped to be able to count on the antidote just in case we missed something." He was staring at nothing in particular. "Are you sure, Katara, that it's as bad…that you won't risk it?"

"She's sure," Toph cut in.

Zuko nodded, but he still wasn't looking at anything. This assassination attempt had a gravity that many of the others didn't have. Maybe it was because this was the first credible attempt involving poison. With people wielding swords and knives and other weapons, you could see them coming. You could fight them off and you could stay alive. With poison? Zuko once confessed that his greatest fear was being poisoned. Poisons came in so many different forms and strengths; there was hardly a way to protect yourself from an invisible enemy.

"As silly a solution as this sounds," Jee said from his perch against the wall, "it seems like the best thing to do is just…not eat."

"Then the dinner can't begin," Yina said, pursing her mouth. Katara knew she would never be a fan of any plan that included Zuko not eating because he did that too often enough. State dinners were always one place Zuko could never avoid caring for himself, even if 'caring' was simply 'feeding.'

The meeting continued, albeit rather slowly with large periods of silence between the discussion. By the end of it, much like with the negotiations between the South and the Fire Nation traders, nothing really seemed to be accomplished other than agreement that Calla and her friends would be integrated into the palace servants and the plainclothes guards on duty. As everyone was filing out, Zuko asked her to stay back. Toph stopped where she was at the threshold next to Katara and grabbed her wrist roughly.

"Don't you hurt him," she growled. "This year's been hell on him, and he's real short on friends right now. He needs you. If he's not still Zuko when you're done with him, I'll _never_ forgive you," she said darkly before stepping out and closing the door behind her.

Katara didn't have time to process the threat or the implication, and as soon as the door closed, Zuko stood and went to a back shelf, taking down three large tomes and laying them on his desk. He motioned Katara over, and pulled her into his lap. She watched as he ran his hand gently over the cover of one of the books.

"During those first weeks after the final battle when you had me on strict bedrest, I spent a lot of time with these books. The history of the Fire Nation is chronicled in its finances, if you know how to read it."

He opened the first book, pointed out the large sums of money passing through the Fire Nation, how much of it was dispersed among the people, how low the taxes were, how high the profits. As he moved his finger down the page, she watched that number fluctuate.

"Here is where Sozin first started mentioning the war to Roku," he said pointing to the earliest of fluctuations. He flipped through a huge chunk of the book "And here is where the first colonies were made. A spike indicates money coming in from the colonies." He flipped forward another chunk, and Katara realized he'd been planning this. "Here is where the war started."

Zuko removed his hand from the book, letting her browse at her own pace. She watched the bottom line take huge leaps and drastic falls. Taxes rose and exports fell and new industries were recorded. He ran his hand lightly up her side as she watched the war float by her eyes in dispassionate numbers. Before she'd moved too far in the books, Zuko laid his hand over hers, removing it, and pushing one book aside for the next. His touches were so gentle as to be almost nonexistent.

"These are the numbers recorded from the mainland, and these from the colonies," Zuko said indicating the columns. "At home, particularly in the capitol and the more prosperous islands, the numbers skyrocketed once the colonies were conquered. Materials and labor came cheap, or at no price at all. And here is the beginning of Azulon's reign. Notice the increasing dependence on the nobility for financing sections of the war effort. It was a way for Azulon to keep his own money while still putting money into the war, and to shift some burden of production and maintenance away from the crown."

A huge uptick in the numbers on the mainland represented the advancement in machinery. Everything was controlled, an unprecedented number of new colonies were annexed, profits rose. For the majority of Azulon's reign, those numbers remained consistent. Then they started going down as Azulon sunk more money into the war.

"This was the year Uncle's wife was killed when they visited an Earth Kingdom colony. Azulon used this to jumpstart the war. It eventually led to Uncle's siege at Ba Sing Se, and every noble family wanted a part of that."

Even though the nobles were donating more to the war effort, it was clear that the Fire Nation's largest source of income was the colonies.

"And here is that illiterate bastard's mercifully brief reign."

"Ozai knows how to read and write, Zuko."

"For all the good it did my people."

The first thing she noticed was an incredibly steep drop in income and an increasing dependence on financing from the nobles. Katara traced the numbers carefully. Once. Twice. A third time. Took a sheet of paper and did the math herself. Additions, subtractions. Lots of subtractions—allowances to generals and nobles for production of war goods—fewer and fewer additions. Her accounting skills were learned and honed on the go during her time travelling with Aang. She'd managed to make a copper piece bleed sliver and expensive merchandise on several occasions, and that was all that kept them clothed and properly nourished. She knew how to cut corners and haggle, substitute when you couldn't get what you wanted. Finally, she gave up.

"It doesn't add up."

"No. It doesn't, and I had to figure out where the hell all this money was going, because I have eyes and ears, and I knew there were far too many people in this nation prospering for the books to look this bad. It's almost worse than trying to manage Uncle's finances during my banishment. We were on a fixed income and he kept…buying. I swear he's like Sokka sometimes, and I knew that if we wrote home and requested more money…"

Zuko turned his face away from her. His temperature was rising, and she stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. She tried to kiss away the tension in his jaw.

"Uncle says Ozai was never concerned about finances. He knew what he wanted, and didn't care how it happened. He was the warmonger, not the businessman, and now I've got to clean up the mess his negligence created."

"Is this what you wanted to show me? The dark side of being the Fire Lord?"

"Don't joke about this," he said, pushing her hand away. "I've had to face the consequences of running away when I should have been here, watching over my nation. Raise taxes on the richest families, lose their support—politically and financially—but have more money... I shouldn't have cut taxes so low so soon after I became Fire Lord, because that put us in a difficult situation. This past year's been another reminder of all the times I've fucked up."

He flipped through pages of the book, much slower now, pointing out important events, then Sozin's Comet and that battle, then the earliest years of his reign. After the second year, she began to notice the bottom line jumping a little, and she stopped his hand. He sighed, moving his finger back to the beginning.

"My coronation. Taxes still high. Return of the newest colonies. Large drop in revenue. Small increase because we're actually trading with other nations. Larger increases when I took down some of the worst embezzlers by beating them at their own games and tracking some underhanded dealings. Big drop in revenue when I cut taxes. The third Peace Summit, where a few minor changes were made to the reparations agreement—"

"You _lied_ under oath?"

She'd meant to give him the benefit of the doubt, because Zuko—not _her_ Zuko—wouldn't lie under oath. The third Peace Summit was also when the southern Earth Kingdom state of Oren asked the Fire Nation for financial help. Looking at the books, at the entry where Zuko's finger was pointing, there was more than enough money to cover the expense. But her Zuko wouldn't tell people he couldn't help them, that the Fire Nation didn't have the money when clearly they did.

"How could you refuse to help Oren—"

"It wasn't simply a refusal to help people," he said firmly, looking down and tracing circles on her leg. "Who do I choose to save? The people I've sworn an oath to, or those just as in need, but from a different nation? Look down two entries. At that Peace Summit, we were already planning to give another colony back. Should I have given them the money then, or should I have done what I did and give that colony back?"

Katara studied the figures where he indicated, and Chem's words came back to her as clear as day, and she took a shuddering breath because the mere presence of Chem in her mind at that moment was a betrayal. She refused to be willfully blind like Chem. She had Zuko, and Zuko would tell her the entire truth. She wouldn't have to live on rumors and hate that twisted people into disgusting creatures. Zuko would give her answers.

"Giving back that colony had nothing to do with Oren," she said, standing. He tried to keep her close to him, but she shook off his grip. "People _starved_ without that money, Zuko."

She'd been to Oren. She saw their dusty fields and meager crops. It wasn't even like they were asking for a lot of money, just enough to get by until their request could be processed in Ba Sing Se a year later. She paced in front of Zuko's desk, unsure of what to think. Katara turned the book toward her and looked at the huge drop in numbers after the return of the colony. That colony had been a major source of income, and she would be Chem if she didn't admit that not paying Oren meant there was more money to cushion the loss of that colony.

"So how do you choose?"

"My choice is made for me." Zuko leaned his elbows on his desk and watched her. "I've lied under oath four times. Twice at the suggestion of my uncle and toward the purpose of reminding people that the Fire Nation is still a major power and shouldn't be disregarded. Once when asked if I knew where Ozai or Azulon kept the treaties that bound several colonies to the Fire Nation, and once about Oren. In the cases Uncle suggested, we made it seem like the Fire Nation had more resources and had a far stronger grip on things than we actually did. When I lied about the treaties, the Fire Nation couldn't afford to lose the revenue of those colonies. And we still can't. When things stablizie a bit more, I can release these treaties. For now, though, I am taking care of them like _proper_ colonies."

"And if I am Fire Lady, how do I choose?"

Katara looked pleadingly at Zuko, hoping he could give her some easy formula, because if it came down to helping the Fire Nation or helping the South, she wasn't sure what she would do. Her heart would always be with the South, even if she didn't live there anymore, but she knew that if she looked at a calendar, she would see that she spent a large amount of time in the Fire Nation. It was becoming home to her, and there was always a reason for her to come back, year after year, month after month. Zuko. She came back for _him_.

"And the war criminals, Zuko?" She took deep breaths, because of all the things, it would hurt the most if this was true. "Do you knowingly deny the justice that is due to so many people?"

Zuko met her eyes with deep passion and sincerity in his own. "I have _never_ sheltered war criminals, nor do I intend to begin doing so." He paused, then turned to look out the window. "There have been times, however, when I've negotiated alternate punishments for those who committed lesser crimes. Nearly everyone in the Fire Nation is a war criminal according to someone. I have often met those who've actively done wrong at their level, bending rules to punish those who bend rules."

"Like setting a watch on Ina and Kin without real proof of wrongdoing and ordering the arrest of innocent people just to get information from them?"

Zuko nodded; he didn't even flinch. "For several reasons, arresting staff is only done as a last resort. It's not something I like to do, and it's very risky. For those who cooperate, I try to compensate lost wages or job placement, but there is always the chance that they would tell whomever we're investigating. That's happened before, too."

Katara was presented with his scarred profile, his mouth turned down at the corners. He shook his head and returned to the books.

"Aang told me about his conversation with his past lives before he faced Ozai. The advice that meant the most to me was what Avatar Yangchen told him. Selfless duty calls us to sacrifice our own spiritual needs and do whatever it takes to protect the world."

Katara shrugged. She'd had enough of Aang preaching at her, enough of him saying something and walking away as if that made everything clear. She was not a monk; his proverbs and sayings didn't inherently make sense to her.

"Did you have a point, or were you just going Aang lite on me?" she asked, trying to sound playful and failing, because when you laid everything out, it was a heavy burden he was offering her.

"I don't always like what I have to do, but being Fire Lord has never been about _me_. This is duty and responsibility to others, and there are times when I _must_ sacrifice my own needs. If I get less sleep at night, but keep a few more criminals off the streets... Lie to the Earth Kingdom now and tell them I don't have the money, give back the colony—which pays taxes to the _Earth Kingdom_ instead of the Fire Nation—cushion that huge loss, continue paying reparations, which funnel into all the Nations. If I had given the money, I would have had to keep the colony, which would have resulted in riots, more armed conflict between the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom… If I had given over both the money and the colony, the crown wouldn't have had enough money for more trade that year. I would have to depend on donations from the nobles and—"

"You really thought this through, didn't you?"

It was so inadequate to say that, given the confession he was making. At least he was making steps in the right direction. He had a point about giving that colony back, even though he did lie under oath and to his family. More money was being given to the Earth Kingdom, and no matter what people chose to personally believe, the Fire Nation was an integral part of their economy. If the Fire Nation couldn't afford to participate in trade, more people would suffer than just those in Oren.

"You'll have to make your own decision about who you would help if it came down to the Fire Nation and the South." He smiled sadly, apologetically. "But as Fire Lady, you would be required to take an oath of loyalty and protection to the Fire Nation."

"Why did you tell Toph about this, but not me?"

Zuko looked at her, confused, his head tilted to the side. "I… I don't…"

"I was the only one surprised about Inara and Long and this new woman, and the poison and defectors in Chem's army."

"I needed Toph to determine just how trustworthy these people are. She was acting in a professional capacity for which she was compensated. I give you my word that I wasn't trying to keep you out. It's just that I can't afford to look like a weak ruler, always turning to my friends to help squash any bit of trouble. I would have told you about Chem at our next meeting, but… I'm sorry, Katara. I wasn't trying to keep you out. I just… I have to keep things quiet. The fewer people I tell, the safer I am. I'm so, so sorry…"

"I don't hate you, Zuko. I'm not going anywhere."

Zuko looked up at her then, surprised and uncomprehending. He narrowed his eyes, searching her face, and Katara felt exposed under his gaze, but she didn't back down. He needed to know that she was sincere in everything. She gathered up her dress, and in three long strides was with him, hugging him to her stomach, letting him squish her.

"There are days when I _hate_ what being Fire Lord does to me, but I know that if it's not me, it's someone worse. This past year has been really hard, and I don't think I realized it until now. Being Fire Lord isn't about _me_ at all. Katara, I don't understand—"

She touched her lips lightly to his, then a little more insistently, because the longer he talked, the more she began to hate Ozai for doing this to his own son, for making him doubt himself. For convincing him that he was so worthless, and that the world was going to leave him. And Chem could only know the outside. He couldn't know what was going on inside Zuko's heart. _She_ knew his heart, knew that there was not one corner of it that was dark anymore. She kissed him because she loved him, and after the past week, it was harder than ever to imagine life without him, and this was only a little thing, right? These were things in the past. He didn't have to do that anymore, and if he thought he did, they would work together to find a better way.

"What have I ever done to deserve someone like you?" he asked.

"You've been you. And everything that includes."

He looked up at her, that silly little loveable lopsided grin of his starting to come back.

"Besides," Katara said, "you've sacrificed some of your morals to help the Fire Nation, so you're going to need more. I've got enough for the both of us."

Zuko laughed and hugged her closer, suddenly giddy, tension and fear slipping out of the room. "I'm so lucky to have you."

"You sure are."

Katara pulled Zuko out of his chair and threw her arms around his neck. They would get through this together. He held her firmly against him, and Katara felt his strength and confidence return to him. This was the way she liked her Zuko; understanding the danger of power and the importance of sacrifice, and worrying that he might become corrupt. It was that worry that would keep him in check, and as long as she was there, she would keep him in check, too.

She brought his face to hers for another kiss, just to reassure him one more time before they needed to leave, and he pressed her back against the desk, his kiss and his caress full of passion and certainty. As he tightened his arms around her, her heart fluttered, and Katara knew that she would have to match Zuko's strength and resolve. She _wanted_ to match Zuko's strength and resolve, and she wanted to share that burden, to make him smile more, and see him struggle against duty less. She wanted to stand beside him as he made those tough decisions. She wanted the world to be right, and she wanted to believe in Ty Lee's stupid little romance novel idea. With her and Zuko leading the Fire Nation, there was no way things could go wrong.

That rampant optmisim might have also been a side effect of being crushed against Zuko's chest, his arms firmly around her waist, as he kissed her eyes and her cheek and her jaw. He was always a warm, comforting presence in her life, and she'd never been above letting his arms banish the bad thoughts from her mind.

"Zuko, I love you," she said in a breathy whisper as his mouth returned to hers.

"Well, I guess I don't have to beat you up now," Toph said.

Katara screamed, clutching onto Zuko, who only cursed. Toph, Hau, and Jee were standing in the doorway, poor Jee looking like someone just hit him with a sledgehammer, taking in their closeness and the placement of their hands and their lips, and not quite understanding.

"You're welcome," Toph said, picking in her ear.

* * *

><p>I think Azulon would have wanted to spread the financial burden of the war around a bit; it would give important people more of a stake in the war, give his allies a boost in business, punish people he didn't like, etc. I think, being the heir, Iroh would have gotten detailed lessons in the importance of 'spreading the love' among the nobility and ensuring that you have their support. As the spare, and clearly coming along much later, I don't think Ozai would have gotten this. He would have seen military conquest as the greatest way to drawing the kind of attention he wanted. The wiki says he doesn't have any decisive military victories under his belt, but I think he would have had to have something or else people wouldn't be quite <em>as<em> willing to follow him. In any event, I think Ozai has a serious sense of entitlement, and would think the nobility owe it to him to participate in the war effort, and would probably have made some enemies among the staff, too, who would facilitate the thievery. Besides, Ozai doesn't strike me as the micromanaging type.

A lot of Zuko's early decisions, in my mind, would come down to the lesser of two evils. With a financially weak nation, an influx of citizens he now has to take care of, and more recently, refugees, I think the Fire Nation would need as much money as it could get. Once you get used to operating at a certain income level, it can be hard to adjust, and even though Zuko would have grand notions about all the things he's going to do right as Fire Lord, all the things he's going to fix, he'd run into some very real problems. He's not going to waltz in a fix 100 years of problems during his lifetime. His son probably won't be able to fix all the problems. He'd probably learn very quickly, and with Hau, Yina, and Iroh counseling him, that the first step would be to asses, then begin dealing with the problem. So, he'd notice that some council members are far richer than any others/continue to prosper as others fail, and you start to get curious. Check into their finances, keep your ear to the ground see what people are saying, and if your suspicions sound like they have a basis, being looking into things a bit more seriously. For a time, Zuko would be suspicious of everyone, but he's trying to work his way out of that culture of suspicion. More on that later.

As for why he's kept so much from Katara, I think it's a little irresponsible for any of them to be blabbing about state business to each other all the time. There are some things that just shouldn't be put out in the open. I do have Zuko telling Katara some things, but he's human, and he sees her as his Fire Lady, and would feel less guilty about telling her these things. With the big things though-like what's really going on in the Fire Nation-he would keep from everyone because he'd understand what could happen if the wrong person hears it. Also, I think there's a very real danger of Zuko looking like a weak ruler if he's always turning to his friends for help. It looks like he can't manage a crisis. If things got serious enough where he did need their help though, Zuko would tell them in an official capacity and ask for help. Which is why he's paying Toph. It's professional. She's providing a service and being compensated.

Ok. Sorry. Didn't intend for this to get long. Never intend for these things to get long, but, there you have it :/ Plus, I though Yanchen gave some pretty poignant advice that would be relevant to them all.


	11. Bold Statements

Katara smoothed down her dress for the fifth time. Everything had to be perfect. She turned to Zuko and began fussing over his clothes too, but he kept batting her hands away.

"Would you quit that? You're fine." He smiled, cupping her cheek and stroking it with his thumb. "_We're_ fine."

As Zuko's mood improved, so hers had plummeted, leaving Katara with a nervous knot settled deep in her stomach that refused to unravel. She and Zuko had attended state dinners before, but always under the banner of friends. Always with the understanding that they were going to have a slightly better than miserable time at these functions. She took a deep breath as they waited to be announced. This was different. Gossip was still circulating about that 'hot lip action,' about them holding hands, about their increased public closeness. She would be face to face with the women who'd tried to claim Zuko as their own and failed because his heart had always belonged to her. For the first time, they would know just how much of a rival she really was.

"You look stunning," Zuko whispered in her ear as he offered her his arm.

At the beginning of her visit, Zuko promised her a new dress if she'd go to the dinner with him, and he'd sent her to his favorite tailor—the one who didn't try to push him into the traditional long robes and actually listened to his vague descriptions of what he wanted; the one who kept him looking good. She had no idea she'd get such an elegant dress that complimented his outfit perfectly. They were making a _statement_. When pressed, Zuko claimed he didn't know, either.

So, when their names were announced, Fire Lord Zuko, and his date, Ambassador Katara of the Southern Water Tribe, all eyes turned on them, and saw a matched set of red and blue, the gold embroidery on her dress mimicking the scales of a dragon, matching the delicate threading on his shirt, catching the light of the lanterns in the large ballroom. The court musicians were playing a light, tinkling sort of thing, and she timed her steps to Zuko's, like she did the day she first arrived, and they glided to the dais at the front of the room.

"See now, that wasn't so bad. We've done it a thousand times before," Zuko said, smiling at her.

"I wish I didn't have to go back to the South. It's too bad everyone came to an agreement at this morning's meeting. I wish it wasn't so soon after—"

"You promised me you'd think on it, remember?"

"Honestly, Zuko," Katara said, smoothing his shirt again, possibly just to touch him, "you are the only guy I know who would try to dissuade a girl from marrying him."

He pinched her playfully under the table. They continued trading playful hidden touches under the table while various guests came to greet them, and some asked to arrange meetings. Katara was always amused by Zuko's diversionary tactics. To keep from appearing rude, he always agreed to set up a meeting, but would send people to two different secretaries. One would actually make appointments. The other would claim a full schedule on the date and time, and promise to be in touch later, sending the pesky person on their way.

"Abandoning me so soon?" Zuko whispered as she started to leave the table after nearly twenty minutes of pointless greetings.

"I'm enjoying my freedom from this dullness while I can."

Katara flashed him a brilliant smile as a few more nobles stood in line. She bowed to them, excusing herself, but before she could leave the table, Zuko stood, too. He took her hand in his, bowing and kissing it. In front of everyone. Katara didn't miss the looks a few nobles shot her way, and she didn't think Zuko missed them, either.

She spotted Toph and Azula across the room, and was intending to head over to them, but her field of vision was eclipsed by Lady Lis, the Earth Kingdom noblewoman who'd been the last Royal Consort. She'd also been the one Zuko was seeing when they had their affair, not that Lis knew about it. She did, however, know that Katara had run to Zuko in great distress, and that Zuko brushed aside all others to comfort her, including Lis herself. The two women had no love for each other.

"Ambassador, it is a pleasure to see you here," Lis said, her hand on her hip and her face partially hidden by her Earth Kingdom fan.

Katara bit back a catty reply. "Yes, well, it's a lovely party, isn't it? Is there something I can help you with?" Other than permanently removing that smug look.

"I just wanted to congratulate you on your latest acquisition. First the Avatar, and now the Fire Lord." A few others were watching their conversation, and Lis raised her voice so they could hear, simultaneously drawing more attention to them. "It seems you're attracted to powerful men."

Katara smiled sugary sweet. Fine. If that's the game Lis wanted to play, she would play. Katara struck a pose, accentuating all the best features of her dress, which accentuated all her best features. She was a good head shorter than Lis, but she had curves, and the dress hugged those curves so nicely you'd think it was painted on her. From her hair hung ornaments Zuko had given her, decorated in diamond and sapphire to match the blue of her dress. She definitely stuck out in the crowd of red and green, and with the slight gold accenting of the threaded scales, she was reminiscent of the dragon Ran. She tossed her head so the ornaments jingled.

"One could say that powerful men are attracted to me," she said, meeting Lis' challenge.

"Yes, well, men are often attracted to the...exotic."

By now, their showdown was attracting a lot of attention. Many had considered Lis the frontrunner for Fire Lady because, after four months, she hadn't been dismissed. One Royal Consort lasted for six months, but that was mostly because Zuko was travelling. When he returned to the capitol and someone asked when he and Lady Eme were going to be married, Zuko's answer was a very confused 'Who?' The only Consort who'd lasted longer than Lis, and was actually remembered, was Mai.

Then Katara came along with her hot lip action and blew Lis and her filthy power hungry, man grabbing hands out of the water.

"It's not so much the exotic that attracts them, but the promise of a woman who's just as powerful and smart as they are."

"Men don't want a woman who dominates them—"

"Who said anything about dominating?" Katara asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. "Let's cut to the chase and speak directly about Zuko, hm? He's passionate, stubborn, determined, and driven, and he deserves a woman who could match him in everything."

"I gave him all of that and more."

"Then why aren't _you_ with him?"

A few embarrassed coughs were heard, along with someone whispering 'burn,' and more than a few appreciative smiles. Lis snapped her fan closed and regarded Katara with open contempt. These were the kind of power hungry women Chem said the Earth Kingdom was pushing on Zuko.

"There are clearly things you…_Southern_ _women_…do that we noblewomen don't."

Katara couldn't help smiling. Lis just wasn't going to let her have the last word. She looked down her nose at Katara. Toph and Azula finally pushed through the crowd and came to stand at her side. There were so many answers Katara could spit out, but she wouldn't stoop to Lis' level. Not in public. She had a better idea. She would show them the daughter of the Chief, a woman worthy of being their Fire Lady.

"Yes," Katara said loudly, standing to her full height. "We manage not to bore our men with inane babble. Our women take part in council meetings, just as the men do. While my father was away in the war, my grandmother stepped in as Village Elder. Our women did the hunting. Our _women_ kept our tribe strong through the harsh winters, and when our men came back, we did _not_ step aside. When we could have died in the Si Wong desert during the war, _I_ carried the weight of four distraught teenagers on my shoulders, and _never_ have I walked with a stoop."

Katara turned to walk away, nodding to Toph and Azula. Toph put her hand on Katara's shoulder and started to congratulate her on meeting Lis' rather straightforward challenge, but Lis, apparently, wasn't done.

"I suppose one way to get a man to listen to you is to open your legs for him."

The entire ballroom went quiet, even the musicians stopped playing, the music dying on a rather discordant note. Katara turned around to see Lis, her face red, her knuckles white as she gripped her fan. This was beyond little barbs. Lis was already straining the boundaries of polite society by being so openly challenging rather than being passive-aggressive, but this was an outright disrespect.

"I would remind you that you're speaking to the daughter of the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe," Azula said, stepping beside Katara. "You will treat her with the utmost respect she deserves." There were traces of the old Azula in her eyes, her stance solid and her voice firm and commanding. Katara was touched, really, that Azula would come to her defense.

But Lis wasn't having it. "I'm surprised they let _you_ off your medication."

"It would appear, Lady Lis, that you have trouble controlling your anger and jealousy. How would you ever hope to balance your lord husband's notorious temper if you cannot control your own?" Katara said as Zuko came to stand behind her.

Zuko issued terse commands. "You will leave. But first you will apologize to my sister. Then you will hope that Lady Katara is nice enough not to tell her father about this insult. You have shamed yourself enough for one lifetime."

Lis looked like she just drank sour milk. She bowed in their direction, made no apologies, and left.

"Well, that was nice," Toph said, her fists clenched.

Slowly, people began going back to minding their own business, though there was no shortage of gossip about the Katara-Lis Showdown, as it was officially being called. Some people whispered that Lis was lucky Katara didn't freeze her to the ceiling or something, being a master bender and all. Katara felt oddly proud and yet embarrassed at the same time. The jovial mood was ruined for her, and she didn't stray too far from Zuko, pleasantly noting that they were holding hands and not really letting go. As the night wore on, an already somber mood grew more so as dinner drew closer.

"Apparently, you two make quite the couple," Toph said coming to stand by them.

"Do you have anything for us?" Zuko asked, scanning the crowd.

"I've got Kin and Ina pinned down. They're excited. Kin is definitely distracted."

Zuko gestured to a squat man mopping his brow with a handkerchief.

"Kin has never liked me," he whispered to Katara, his mouth close to her ear, his hands on her waist. "The moment I started looking at the nation's finances closely, he put a target on my back, and my reigning in the council has only made things worse. I've had Yina watch him and Ina, which is how we found out about their secret dealings. With them gone, it's another knot of this mess unraveled."

His hand moved to Katara's lower back, and she shuddered at his light touch. He wasn't perfect, but he cared, and he would try his best. She would pick up his slack, and they would be stronger for it. That's the way couples were supposed to work.

"What are people saying? About us?" Katara grabbed Toph's arm as she started to turn away.

"Desperate much, Sugar Queen?" she quipped, with a teasing smile. "People think you two look good together. Some hate your guts. Does it matter?"

"Don't expect Lis to be gone," Azula said, fretting over her dress. "This is why I don't go to these things. I hate getting dressed up."

Toph left to find Jee, and Katara turned to Zuko, raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever you did to Lis, she's stuck on you something fierce."

Azula snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure we can imagine."

Zuko narrowed his eyes at Azula. "Where's Ty Lee? Shouldn't she be babysitting you?"

"She's on a date," Azula said, turning her nose up. "And I don't need a babysitter."

Katara wondered if she'd ever get used to Zuko and Azula being siblings. Real siblings who didn't try to murder each other. It was almost like her and Sokka, though she still noticed Zuko was careful around her. He'd already checked on Azula four times after Lis said she was off her medication. Katara wondered if she should pay Lis a visit. Have a little _girl talk_.

"If I'm being absolutely honest with you," Zuko said, staring off at a different point and on a completely different wavelength, "I am scared out of my mind right now."

Katara and Azula followed his gaze. Yina was standing in the doorway, a signal that dinner was about to be served. Katara squeezed his hand and led him to their table at the head of the hall.

.O.

Calla wiped her hands on the apron.

"Is that the bowl for the Fire Lord?" she called to the servant standing at the pot.

This woman was one of the people Yina pointed out as a likely subvert. Immediately, Calla had been suspicious. She'd seen the woman somewhere before, but she couldn't quite place her. She'd checked the list Yina gave her several times and knew this woman wasn't supposed to be anywhere near food preparation; she'd been assigned to a completely different section of the kitchen where the dishes were being cleaned.

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Yina's orders. I'm to take it to him."

The woman snorted, looking Calla up and down. "Yeah, like she'd let _you_ take food to the Fire Lord, and this is your first day."

Calla wrinkled her nose at the woman. All day, Calla had been getting that nagging feeling that she'd seen this woman somewhere before, and she hadn't liked her from almost the moment they stepped into the kitchen together. She had a huge chip on her shoulder and would fit right in with Chem's buddies.

Calla did a double-take. Chem wouldn't have people in the Fire Nation, would he? Who knew what he'd been doing since Ba Sing Se. She watched as the woman used a napkin to wipe a bit of soup from the edge of the bowl. Chem had no reason to try to poison the Fire Lord; having him alive was critical to Chem's plans, but it wasn't above Chem to have spies here. And if there were spies, she ran the risk of being caught, and it would only complicate their strained relationship with the Fire Lord. She knew that Yina had been watching them. That woman knew things it should have been _impossible_ for her to know. It was unnerving to say the least. If it even looked like they might be talking with Chem's people, the Fire Lord would come down on them so hard, they wouldn't know what hit them.

"They're ready to start the dinner," someone was calling into the kitchen.

Finding out about Chem's spies would have to wait. None of that would matter if they had a dead Fire Lord. His lady love seemed very adamant about him not coming into contact with the poison at all. Calla followed the woman with the Fire Lord's soup, sticking to the shadows and being as quiet as possible. Halfway to the ballroom, the servant woman stopped, looking back and forth down the hallway.

"This is for the Fire Lord?" a deep voice asked.

"Yes."

Calla smiled devilishly as the servant handed the soup to the man. Oh, Long and Inara were good. They'd found help from an insider, they said. Insider, indeed. This man had been quickly promoted by Chem to fill the void left by Long's absence. Calla stepped out from behind the pillar, and immediately the servant was on the defensive.

"You—"

Calla jabbed the woman in the throat with her index and middle fingers, and when the woman doubled over, Calla covered her mouth with a rag soaked in a sleeping gas. Calla waited until the woman went limp before shoving the rag in her mouth and tying it in place.

"Put the soup down and hide. I'm not going to speculate on what you were assigned to do, but I'm sure you can help better if you're not thrown in jail for trying to poison the Fire Lord," Calla said quickly before the guards made their rounds. "You know the role I'm playing?"

"Some of it, yes," Fei said, looking at Calla, a little confused. "Why are you doing this?"

"Payback's a bitch, and someone's got to stick it to him. But the real question is why're _you_ doing this? Of all people, you?"

Footsteps were coming down the hall.

"Here," he said, handing Calla the poison. "We all need for this to be in the soup. They'll check it, and if something doesn't die, the unjust will go free."

Calla watched him dash off down the hall in the opposite direction of the footsteps. Shielding the bowl with her body, Calla poured in a heap of the poison. When the guards rounded the corner, she was propping up the woman against the wall, the vial already slipped into the pocket of the servant's apron.

.O.

Zuko was looking at the offending soup as if it would… Well, Katara sighed, it _would_ kill him. He looked to Calla, then flicked his eyes to the soup. Calla nodded and pushed the bowl toward him before leaving.

Katara's heart was pounding, and so many people were watching them. For too many precious seconds, her dress was too tight, and she couldn't breathe. Zuko grabbed her hand and squeezed, and strength she didn't think he possessed in that moment was transferred to her. All of the exits were blocked. If anyone tried to leave, they would be denied. She looked at Zuko, and he was stern and determined. For a moment, Katara was afraid that he'd actually eat the soup, and he let go of her hand, pulled it away, even as she tried to keep it.

"In the Fire Nation, we are quick to show respect to our hosts," Zuko said, raising his voice and commanding the attention of those present. "Sometimes, we forget that the host would be nothing without his guests. As I would be nothing without _all_ the people of the Fire Nation. In the Earth Kingdom, it is customary that the host offers the guest the first portion of the meal."

Katara smiled, relieved. Her brilliant, _brilliant_ Zuko. She was pretty sure that there was no such Earth Kingdom custom, but the Earth Kingdom was large and varied enough that it might be true, somewhere. He still couldn't lie well enough to fool Toph, but this would be good enough.

"Councilman Kin, please step forward."

The attendees began murmuring, and Kin was slowly pushed forward. He bowed before Zuko.

"You have a long and…storied history with the crown. You have given freely of your time and of your resources, and I would be a poor ruler not to acknowledge your gifts to our great nation."

"My lord is…too kind."

If it was possible, Kin began sweating more. He mopped messily at his face, the wrinkles in his skin catching the sweat and directing them like streams down his face. Katara shuddered. She'd hate to do his laundry, let alone stand down wind of him.

"Tonight, you will be my guest of honor."

"I have done nothing to warrant such an honor, my lord."

"Councilman Kin is a modest man," Zuko said, leaning back in his chair. "When the books do not balance, I know I can always turn to Councilman Kin as his pockets are always deep. His knowledge of the financial workings of our nation is great, and without him, I would not have been able to bring the Fire Nation out of ruin and to a position where we could be part of the global economy. While the rest of us have suffered losses, Councilman Kin has managed to do quite well."

This was a genius ploy worthy of Iroh. Varying members of the nobility were turning evil eyes on Kin, and Ina had been squished to the front of the horde, too. If what Zuko said was true, that many of the nobility and council members were losing money at a time when Kin was gaining it, there would be massive amounts of jealousy, and accusations would start flying. At the same time, Zuko was letting Kin and Ina know that he was on to their schemes, that he knew something wasn't right.

"You would do me a great honor if you would eat first," Zuko said, pushing the bowl toward the edge of the table.

Kin looked between the bowl and Zuko. Everyone was watching the scene, watching Kin being offered great respect by his leader, and taking too long to consider this honor when others would have jumped at the chance. Zuko gestured at the soup, but still Kin remained motionless. Katara thought she should help. She liked helping. Besides, she and Zuko made a good team.

"Perhaps the noodle soup does not sit well with Councilman Kin," Katara said, placing her hand on Zuko's arm. "Perhaps there is some extra ingredient that makes his heart race."

The color drained from Kin's face, and Zuko smiled. The guards started moving closer, which no one failed to notice, and fury twisted Kin's face.

"My lord has offered deals to others," Kin growled. "I wish to know what deal he would offer me."

.O.

"What if everything changes when we're married, and we don't feel the same way about each other?"

"Why wouldn't we?" Katara questioned.

"Part of the fun is the sneaking around, and don't you deny it. Only now, we won't be. We'll be in the open. And people will judge, and that tends to wear you down after a while, believe me, and you're so tempted to give in just so they'd _shut up_. If I have one more person tell I should grow a beard, or suggest another wife, or talk about my clothes or anything mentioning tradition… You already saw what they were like. One kiss that most people didn't see, and some hand holding and people lose their minds."

"We'll deal with it."

"And assassination attempts—you know my record—and children, and how many, and what if they're not firebenders? Not that I would mind a few waterbenders, but we'd at least need one firebender or else there'd be no heir. It wouldn't be right to put a waterbender on the Fire Nation throne. If we were living in the South and you were Chief, I wouldn't dream of naming one of our firebending children as Chief. It's not exactly fair, you know?"

"Zuko—"

"And when we're old and senile? What then? I mean, clearly we'll have chosen which one of our herd of children would be the heir, but I'm not looking forward to the part where I'm blind and deaf on my left side—"

"What? Is that what the doctor said?"

"—and if you think I'm paranoid now, wait until that happens, and I can't tell if people are sneaking up on me or anything—"

"How did we even go from children to being old? And why do we have a 'herd' of children?"

"—and no other nation has two benders on the throne, and I know all decisions come back to me, but we've been auctioning off parts of the naval and air fleets, and if some crazed Earth Kingdom general decides to attack, I don't know, the North, they'll find some way to blame it on me. Fucking _Arnook_, will find some way to blame it on me. He's probably talking with your dad right now trying to marry you to Hahn, and I know your dad's going to say no unless you agree to it, because the South isn't into arranged marriages like the North is. Especially not with Gran there. She'd never let them take you against your will, especially since she gave me those traditional whale combs I'm supposed to give to you—"

"Whale—whalebone haircombs that married women wear?" Katara asked, finally resorting to just covering Zuko's mouth. "When did this happen?"

"Oh, that happened _years_ ago. I wasn't supposed to tell you."

"But you're babbling, and it came out."

Zuko shrugged. Katara waited a few beats, just in case he would start babbling again. They were in bed after the state dinner, and she made the mistake of asking him why he'd been so skittish and apprehensive about marriage, and it was like opening floodgates. He repeated what he told her before, added new stuff to it, embellished a lot of things, and pretty much let his fear and doubt take control of him. He was lying down, and she was sitting on him while he played with the end of her shirt. Well, his shirt, really, but he wasn't getting it back.

She kissed his cheek. "I'll get everyone to come here, and we can go to Ember Island, where you can talk to dad and get his permission. Then you can give me my necklace, and we can have a nice family vacation like we haven't had in a while."

Zuko wrapped his arm around her, pulling her flush against his body. "I really thought I was going to lose you." He buried his face in her hair.

"But I always come back, don't I?"

"Like Sokka's boomerang."

* * *

><p>This update is late because I managed to injure my finger over the past week. It makes it hard to type, so edits that I need to do before posting are going to be slow for a bit.<p>

So, Katara tell Lis that the women of the South participate in council meetings and the like. While all the men were away at war, who was left to take care of the tribe? The women. That means they would have to do the hunting, the cooking, defending, make important decisions, and the like. Kanna seems like the type to take charge, plus she traveled across the world, so I see her as stepping in as leader. Once the men came back, I don't see the women giving up that role so easily. Maybe there was a bit of a spat, but I think the women would eventually be welcome. Actually, I think the war kept the South from becoming like the North. Necessity meant they couldn't have the same gender views; if women weren't taught to fight and to fend for themselves, the South would have died out while the men were away.

I also think Zuko's probably going to be deaf and blind on his left side :/ That's a pretty bad burn. And, yeah. That's probably the cheesiest line ever to end on. Sorry. You may shake your heads as I hang mine in cheesy-line shame.


	12. Hello, Goodbye, Hello, Goodbye

Zuko came with her to the docks when it was time for her to board her ship back to the South Pole. He was between meetings again, and would likely be between meetings for the next few months, trying to force Kin and Ina to break their silences about their embezzlement and assassination attempts. He wasn't the only one in for hard work, either. When she got back to the South, she'd have to inform the council about the deal reached with the Fire Nation merchants. Then she'd have to work on breaking the news to her father that she'd been a naughty girl for a very long time, and that she now intended to marry her secret lover who happened to be her best friend, and the Fire Lord. Reality had begun to creep in; she had no idea how Hakoda would react to her finally admitting the truth. Her father had offered to help them, and she had turned him down, but now she was going to admit that she'd been a liar and a sneak and had thrown her family's trust back in their faces, and they would never trust her again, and would likely disown her.

When she'd laid it out like that for Zuko, he only crossed his arms and told her crossly that she was being overdramatic and embellishing things that had no business being embellished. Because Zuko hadn't done any embellishing _at all_.

"You'll tell everyone I said hi, right?" Zuko was holding her hands.

"Zuzu, you act like she's not coming back," Azula said, rolling her eyes.

"Let them have their moment!" Ty Lee whispered furiously, swatting Azula's arm. "It's a sweet lover's goodbye."

"Ah, but young love is often like this, my niece. The shortest separation feels like an eternity," Iroh offered, his arm around Jun's waist.

"At least he'll be more productive, now," Jun said, smirking. "Not so many distractions."

Katara glared at them. While she appreciated her family coming to see her off, they needed to jump in the ocean. Now. At least Toph had the decency to smirk quietly to herself. Katara tried to shoo them all away. Their family was ruining her moment with Zuko.

"Yes, I'll tell them, but I'm not letting Sokka send you more jerky. Yina told me you haven't been eating, and now that I'll be gone—"

"Yeah, we're going to skip that part," Zuko said, pulling her into a hug. "You'll write me when you get there?"

"Of course." They stood, holding hands again and looking at each other for a long while. "I guess I should be going."

Her bags had been loaded already, complete with a few (ten) gifts from Iroh, but she still hesitated. She sighed heavily, and turned to leave, but Zuko was still holding her hand, and he pulled her back to him, and before she had a chance to say anything, his mouth was on hers. Katara wasted no time, ignoring Azula's disgusted noises from behind Zuko, and Ty Lee's insistence that 'this is the sweetest thing ever,' and threw her arms around his neck.

Katara sighed as he ran his tongue over her lips before she parted for him and she let him take full control because she'd enjoyed it so much the last time when he was completely dominant. She'd almost instantly filed that away for fantasy fodder later. Unlike all those other women, her Fire Lord fantasies would become reality. Katara pressed herself further into him like it would be the last time they saw each other, and she didn't stifle that moan because his lips and his body against her felt just that damn good. He didn't even care that the docks were busy and that people stopped to watch their makeout session. And if he didn't care, then neither did she.

When they finally pulled away, it was like she was losing her air supply. Zuko caressed her face, then leaned in one final time, a quick peck, soft like a snowflake against her lips.

"Go, before I change my mind, kidnap you, and keep you locked in my room."

"Mm, don't tempt me."

He bowed, bringing her hand to his lips, making her blush. "Until next time, my lady."

Iroh wiped a mock tear from his eye. "It does this old heart good to see him finally learning."

.O.

There was already a letter waiting for her from Zuko when she got back to the South Pole, and she couldn't help laughing. He'd sent the largest and fastest messenger hawk, which he normally used for the most important messages. Sokka had come to pick her up from the dock, and while she was glad to see her brother again, she didn't hesitate to push him away when he tried to read the letter over her shoulder.

_The moment your ship disappeared over the horizon, I got no less than twenty four offers for marriage. Some families even sent offers for each of their daughters. Spirits help me Katara if you don't get back here quickly. They're trying to take advantage of your absence. Toph bent a stone wall behind the palace gates, effectively trapping everyone where they were, and Ty Lee has singlehandedly mounted the Campaign of Good Will toward Future Fire Lady Katara. The world has descended into madness._

_My bed is already lonely without you. I miss our night cuddles and the way you sometimes smell like a giant moon peach._

She wrote her reply right then in the new hawkery, smiling like an idiot the entire time. Katara tried to care that Sokka was watching her, noting her goofy smile and scratching his chin, but she didn't. She'd also promised herself she wouldn't be _that_ girl, the one who gets sad because her boyfriend left two minutes ago, who's constantly writing him, who clings to him whenever he's near.

_I'll try to hurry things here, but I know you're in good hands. Spirits, I never thought we'd actually be here, you and I, but I'm glad that we are. When I get back, I'll make a declaration that none of those women will be able to pretend doesn't exist. The only thing I'm worried about is admitting everything to Dad. I think I want you there with me when I do it._

Katara's hand hovered over the parchment, and she took a deep breath. Neither one of them had ever written those three little words before, even though they'd verbalized them. Her heart beat a little faster, because to write it down made it final. That made it real. There was no turning back after that. Zuko had asked her to think seriously, not just with her heart, but with her mind, about what it would mean for her to be Fire Lady, for her to accept the same challenges he did. To ask herself whether she would be able to sacrifice her own needs to do what needed to be done. Most pointedly, he hadn't said 'to do what is right,' but what _needed to be done_.

If she wrote those words, then realized that she couldn't, it would crush him even more. Katara winced. Even if she never wrote those words and decided she couldn't give up part of herself like that, he would be crushed, and he'd hear no end of it from the nobility after everything that happened at the dinner. She was halfway tempted to write those words just to spite everyone. The letter was waiting in front of her.

"Seriously, sis, are you just going to stare at it all day, or can we go back home now?"

If she wrote those three words, then she would be admitting that home wasn't the South Pole anymore, and that, more than anything, made her pause. Lies and cheating and scandal she could deal with, but to feel like she was abandoning the South… Dammit. No wonder he was adamant about her returning to the South rather than just sending a bunch of letters. He knew she would seriously think about what he said when they weren't all cuddled together. Katara closed her eyes. Stupid Zuko and his increasing moments of rationality. She should have asked him more about that oath.

"Hey, are you alright?" Sokka put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him. "Did something bad happen when you were in the Fire Nation?"

Katara shook her head. To Sokka's credit, even though both letters were right there in plain sight, even though Sokka's curiosity got him into trouble like his instincts used to, he didn't look. He kept his worried eyes trained on her. She shook her head.

"Everything's fine."

"Don't make me ask Zuko," Sokka said, giving her a stern look.

If only he knew. Katara smiled, a little mischievously, perhaps. Not that Sokka would notice. He still preferred to think of his baby sister as headstrong and independent, but innocent. As far as he was concerned, Katara had done nothing more than hold hands and kiss a few boys—closed mouthed and tongues separated by teeth and lips. Katara's smile dripped away. That was her father's opinion, too, and he might hold it more seriously than Sokka. She groaned. If she'd just realized she loved Zuko, it wouldn't be a big deal; that she'd looked her father in the eye and told him they were only friends… Now she would have to admit she'd lied. He would be well within his rights to never trust her again.

"Whoa, I am writing Zuko. You're moodier than Suki when—oof!"

Katara elbowed Sokka in the ribs, folded up her letter, then attached it to the messenger hawk.

"Let's get back to the house."

Katara had only been gone for one month, including travel, but she felt something was different about the South. She and Sokka were walking down the main road from the hawkery, passing one building after another, scenes of happy families just visible through some first floor windows, stirring a deep want in Katara's heart. The sun was setting, and people were beginning to settle down for dinner. But she'd seen all of this before she left.

The snow crunched under their feet, and Katara pulled the parka tighter around her.

"Hey, Katara, can I ask you a question? It's kind of a…girly question."

Katara was unable to keep away that teasing smile. "What's the matter? Run out of manly things to ask? Finally ready to admit you love my bath stuff?"

Sokka stopped walking and turned to her, his face serious and a little nervous. His hands were in his pockets, and Katara was struck by how much Sokka was starting to resemble their father. It had taken him a little longer to grow into his lankiness, but when he did, he _did_, and everyone seemed to notice. He was the Son of the Chief. He was someone important, now.

And who was she?

Sokka nodded down the path, and they started walking again. "I wanted to ask you about Mom's necklace. It's just blue, and doesn't change colors. You don't worry about it clashing with your outfits, do you?"

Katara stopped again, completely floored by the question. "What?"

"I mean, now that you're not just wearing blue anymore. Because blue matches with blue. And you're a girl, and you care about your appearance. Girls like to look pretty and matchy. Don't you worry about the blue not matching?"

Sokka was kicking piles of snow. People were moving around them on the sidewalk, going in and out of houses and shops and the few restaurants that sprung up around the docks. Katara watched a group of people walk into a restaurant that specialized in international cuisine. The South was cold, and tea was a hot drink. People would take to it, especially with a nice atmosphere like Iroh provided. The Jasmine Dragon would likely thrive.

"Oh my goodness, great spirits, Tui and La, Sokka, you aren't!"

Katara threw her arms around her brother, hugging him closely. He chuckled a little and hugged her back.

"But you have to keep it quiet. The only one who knows is Dad. And Gran, but she manages to know everything."

"Tell me about it," Katara said, rolling her eyes and linking arms with him. She ignored the look he gave her. "Anyway, Suki won't care if it's blue or green. It's coming from you. Sokka, she liked that stupid sea slug of a sand sculpture you made for her on Ember Island."

Sokka pushed her playfully. "It was not a sea slug of a sand sculpture! It was clearly Suki. You just have no appreciation for the arts, Katara."

Being the Chief's family, their house was a little grander than some of the others, with the Water Tribe symbol etched onto the front door. There was an office for both her as Ambassador, and her father as Chief, and a small room where they could have private meetings if they needed. There were plenty of rooms to accommodate the family and guests, and the great thing about having a house built of ice was that Katara could always make additions as needed. Well, she could before Zuko's semi-proposal.

When Sokka went inside, she stopped on the threshold. The hearth was blazing warmth, and the smell of her favorite food was wafting out of the kitchen. Or her favorite Southern food. She sighed heavily, feeling a little tug at her heart, wondering if she'd have the courage to leave the South for good.

"Come on! I can smell dinner!"

Sokka was inside and tugging her, his coat nearly coming off by itself as he headed toward the kitchen. Katara peeled hers off slowly. Really, it wasn't like she'd been gone all that long. They were making a big fuss about nothing. Only when she was in the kitchen, surrounded by her family, did she realize that she stood out like a sore thumb.

She was the only one wearing red.

"Welcome home!"

.O.

Rue was floored. What would she tell Chem?

"What do you mean she's gone?"

The guard rolled her eyes. "Ambassador Katara returned to the South Pole. Her ship left a week ago."

Rue was acutely aware of the guards now moving toward her.

"If you'd actually had an appointment with her, you would have known that. Now tell me, why do you really want to see the Ambassador? Or perhaps you're after the Fire Lord?"

"I came to ask for Ambassador Katara's help," Rue said. She was armed, yes, but that would do her no good. Besides, this was supposed to be peaceful.

"Then why not apply to her office in the South?"

"Everyone knows she spends a lot of time here."

"And so her mail gets forwarded when she's actually in the Fire Nation."

Rue watched as people, not all nobles or officials, made their way into the palace. What was so different about her that she got stopped? She wasn't the only one from the Earth Kingdom around. She looked down at the knife at her belt.

"Is it the knife? You stopped me because I'm armed? Look, I travelled here on my own, and you should know that it's dangerous." She tried to fix the female guard with a look that said, 'we women have to take care of ourselves.'

"Nice try, kid," one of the male guards said, grabbing her by the elbow and walking her in a different direction.

On one of the palace's many balconies, Zuko stood, overlooking the scene.

"How do you know she's one of them?"

"She's the newest," Inara said "Joined Chem's army not long before we attacked the Phoenix Brigade. Kinda stands out, that one."

Zuko remained impassive. This was risky behavior, trusting in Inara and Long like this, even if he was having Yina watch them. They'd come through for him once, with the poison. It sickened him to think of the way that poor baderfrog's heart had literally exploded from its chest. He still hadn't been able to regain his appetite, much to Yina's dismay. He couldn't even enjoy his favorite dessert without thinking it might kill him.

"He hasn't recruited anyone new in three years?" he asked.

"No," Long said. "He was focusing on finding Lady Ursa."

"I want both of you to speak with General Jee about the size and skill of Chem's army," Zuko said. "If Chem thinks he's going to invade the Fire Nation, he'll have to think twice. Does he know that you've defected?"

"I'm sure he can guess," Inara said. "We've never held our opinions from him. I tried to talk him down from that stupid idea of his right after I left you and Master Katara that last night. He refused to listen."

Zuko wondered why Katara never told him that Chem tried to recruit her, to try and convince her that Zuko needed controlling. He rubbed at his lightning scar. He really had no right to be mad at her because he'd kept his own secrets, but his secrets were state secrets. He _couldn't_ tell her unless he was serious about marrying her. Not that she would, but if she ever told anyone else, it would cause no end of problems for the Fire Nation. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to stem off a headache.

"What kinds of things would he have told her?" Zuko asked Long, stubbornly refusing to let the issue drop.

"I can outline for you the things he believes, but I don't know what he would have chosen to tell her."

Zuko nodded. What did he have to worry about? Katara knew him, she knew that he respected his position, and that he'd wanted to make things right. She knew this. She would believe him. She knew him. She didn't trust Chem. Maybe she simply hadn't said anything because she tuned him out. Katara was good at tuning people out when she wanted to be.

As Long started speaking about Chem's beliefs, Zuko felt relatively confident that Katara would see through them, and he mildly regretted sending off that sparse letter. He rubbed his temples. It would unnessecarily worry Katara.

He was sure that Katara wouldn't be swayed by Chem's words. His mother, however… There, he had his doubts.

* * *

><p>Phew! It's been a long, <em>long<em> week. I tell you, people get out of the house, go shopping during a sale, and lose their minds. You would think it's the night before a major blizzard and people were scrambling at the grocery store for food. No. This is a clothing store. You're buying tights. Calm down. But I digress...

And so begins the part of the story that takes us to the South Pole. I wanted Katara away from Zuko for several reasons. Largely, I think it would be easier for her to weigh her options when she's away from him. So long as she's looking at him, she'll be thinking about the burden he has and how she can make it lighter; she won't think too much about the consequences. She's got her moments of 'act first, think later' (The Painted Lady), and I think it'll do her good to try and remove her heart from the equation and think with her brain. As much as she can, at least.

This also brings up the trust issue. Trust is a _huge_ thing in the Gaang, and regardless of their feelings of Zuko and Katara being together-whether each person saw the signs or not-Zuko and Katara have much to be worried about. They had their reasons, but at what point did that legitimate reason become a poor excuse? A line had to be crossed somewhere, and much drama will ensue. I'm doing my best to keep things level and still give it all a happy ending. There are so many ways this could become a dark and brooding fic, but it'll have a happy ending, even if I gouge it out with a rusty butter knife.


	13. Who Am I? Who You Are

It didn't take much for Katara to fall into a routine anymore. Routines had become her life, and they'd saved her from that awkward period where you arrive somewhere and you weren't sure what you were supposed to do. The only difference now was that her routine left her a lot of free time and not many people to spend it with.

She spent the first week going over the new trade agreement with the Fire Nation merchants in extensive detail, and the issue was resolved to the satisfaction of all parties rather quickly. They had, after all, been in negotiation for a year, so anything other than a speedy resolution would have been a surprise. Her father signed the documents, and they were handed to sailors heading back to the Fire Nation. These papers were too important to trust to messenger hawk, and everyone said she didn't need to make a personal trip to the Fire Nation just to hand over a stack of papers no matter how much she insisted that it wasn't a problem.

Hakoda was quickly establishing his own working relationships with other leaders, and he didn't need her to act as a mediator or a symbol of goodwill as much. On top of that, no diplomats were currently visiting the south, so she wasn't spending as much time in his office as she had before. Her role was being reduced to make room for her father's successor, even if that was still a long way off.

She shouldn't have been, but Katara found herself a little shocked to learn that Sokka and Suki spent most of their days shadowing Hakoda. She peeked in on them once to find them bent over maps and papers, Hakoda quizzing Sokka on their shipping routes and national boundaries, while Gran talked to Suki about the council and the function they used to serve. Then they started going over the tribe's finances and resources. Of course Sokka would be in training to become chief after their dad. It made sense that he would be eased into the position Katara had been fulfilling. People needed to see Sokka as Hakoda's right hand, and Suki was keeping order right beside him. Spirits knew Sokka would be lost without her on most days, and they made an excellent team. If Sokka didn't know the answer to a question Hakoda asked, Suki was more than happy to pipe up and fill in the gap if she knew it.

Sometimes, she sat in the kitchen with Suki and Gran Gran while they made the meals. Suki was learning to prepare Sokka's favorite foods, which Gran took to mean that she was expecting Sokka to propose any day. Katara enjoyed the company, but she was restless; she wasn't used to having so much free time. It wasn't right. It wasn't _natural_.

When they sat down to lunch, after having delivered portions to Hakoda and Sokka, who weren't going to take a real lunch break, she and Suki and Gran talked politics. Gran was urging Suki not to let others boss her around and to make them understand that she was still an elite warrior, especially the men from the North.

"That goes for you too, missy," she said, pointing her spoon at Katara. "I didn't travel halfway around the world to watch my granddaughters be dominated by men who don't necessarily know better than they do. You are bright girls. Use your minds."

Katara ignored the questioning look that Suki sent her, eyebrow raised and smirking slightly, but Suki wouldn't accept Katara's ignoring her, and pressed the issue.

"Are we just speaking in general for you, or are you interested in someone who just happens to have a little power?" she asked suggestively, complete with a Sokka-style waggling of the eyebrows. Sometimes spending so much time together wasn't a good thing.

Katara turned away, fighting a smile. 'A little power.' You could say that. "Gran's just talking. You know how she gets."

"I know how you get, too," Gran said, rapping Katara's knuckles with the spoon. "You and I will talk later."

She most certainly did not want to talk to her grandmother about this. She hadn't done much thinking about the issue since she arrived in the South, even though there was no reason for her not to think about it. Sometimes, it was easier if she pretended that she and Zuko were as they always had been. Wild optimism had slipped away, and was replaced by the practicality that had kept their group together through their toughest episodes. Zuko was right; it wasn't just marriage between him and her, a boy and a girl in love. It was the Fire Lord choosing a Fire Lady to help him run a country that was still pulling itself out of the mindset of war. They would tell lies and make deals with criminals, essentially choose who got to live and die, and she would have to live with herself every night.

But then Zuko was living with himself, right? Or at least managing. It might be easier to manage if they did it together. They'd all known that sacrifice would be needed to create order in their new world. Suki was giving up life on Kiyoshi and her position as Captain of the Kiyoshi Warriors to marry her idiot brother who'd be Chief. Granted, Kiyoshi decided to partner up with the South since Suki and Sokka were attached at the hip. If Suki was Chieftess, Kiyoshi had a better chance of getting their voice heard in the smaller South than if they tried to muscle their way into the Earth Kingdom's convoluted political system.

"So, are you done with your little space out? Because Aang's here."

Katara looked up, and Sokka was smiling at her, his arm around Suki's waist. They really did make a cute and balanced couple, Suki in her blues and greens… Katara would get a crown. She'd get a friggin _crown_. What would Suki get? Sokka's socks, that's what.

"Apparently not," Suki muttered.

Not that it mattered, because a gust of air blew into the kitchen, and Katara was swept into a hug before she registered what happened.

"Katara! It's so great that you're home!"

Aang was setting her back on her feet before she'd even realized he'd picked her up, and then his _lips_ were touching hers, and her hand started moving without her brain's input.

She slapped him, and the room got quiet.

"Oh, spirits, Aang, I'm so sorry! I didn't… Oh, Aang…"

She waited with her hands covering her mouth, and a little voice whispered to her that maybe next time he'll remember he's too old for surprise mouth kisses and that's how people got hurt.

"Well, I guess I kinda deserved that one," Aang chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

And she thought things weren't still awkward between them.

.O.

Chem blended in amongst the crowd in Opo, watching as the Ozai supporters were led away in chains, presumably to the capitol for the Fire Lord to deal with. But at this point, he couldn't care less. He didn't care about the Fire Lord and his mistress, he didn't care about the Fire Nation, he didn't care that his people made it out alive and without any casualties. All that mattered was _her_, and that she wasn't there.

Again.

He turned and stalked away. This was getting ridiculous. People don't just fall off the face of the earth. They don't just cease to exist. Not being noticed was one thing. Being ignored was something else. Both were just cases of wishful thinking. But this?

Inside his hotel room, Chem locked the door and closed the curtains against the light. In complete darkness, he sat on the edge of the bed, his shoulders slumped, obliterating so many years of perfect posture. His hands hung limply between his knees. He breathed through his open mouth, and closed his eyes, compounding darkness with darkness. He let the silence engulf him until it pressed painfully against his eardrums. He remained silent through the moment when his body called for him to make some sort of noise.

Bo was knocking on his door, asking if he was in there. Chem said nothing. He imagined the weight that sat on his shoulders rolling down his arms until it was firmly attached to his fingers. He let that weight drag him further down until the tips of his fingers touched the floor and he was nearly bent double. He ignored Bo. Bo would go away once he thought there wasn't anyone inside. At least he had saved Chem from having to make any noise. The pain in his ears was gone. Lessened for the time being.

He focused on that weight. It was a living, breathing thing that controlled him. He named this weight Burden of Protection a long time ago, and he was not shouldering it well. Her parents had made the request of him. Protect her because she is Roku's granddaughter, and Sozin watched Roku die. Protect her because she is the daughter of the premiere family of Kirachu, and with her departure, so departs our strength. Protect her because that is your job, and if you fail in this, there will be nothing left for you.

Chem breathed deeply and held the air in his lungs. When he released it, he let it out like a growl, a scratching in the back of his throat.

"My Burden of Protection is lifted only in three cases," he said aloud. "In the case of my death, I am released. In the case of my lady's death, I am released. In the case of my lady's dismissal of me, I am released."

They'd been rounded up, herded like cattle into the deepest dungeons in the Fire Nation's capitol by Ozai's goons. All of the Lady Mother's household. Too late, Ozai regretted her banishment, and he tried desperately to bring her back, but she was safe and hidden and protected. They all bore their torture with pride. No amount of beating or starvation or threats or cuts or bruises would make them break their vows. _This_ was loyalty, and Ozai was jealous. Among all those who claimed to follow him, among all those who bowed before him, how many could he count among his true supporters? People who would suffer pain and humiliation for him?

There would have been nothing but pain for their lady if they returned her to her husband. He would keep her locked up, realizing that she held all his secrets, and if the faintest whisper began to flutter along the wind that Ozai came to the throne through the murder of his father and was so much of a coward that he made his _wife_ do it, it would unseat him. Iroh would resume his rightful place, and who knew what turn the nation would have undergone.

Chem had kept that loyalty longer than anyone else simply because he managed to live longer than anyone else. He raised an army in her name. Her word was still his command. He would bow before her with just the slightest look, not only because he cared for her, not only because he cared for his home, but because this was his part in the war.

Abruptly, Chem stood, rolling his shoulders back, feeling the Burden of Protection as it twisted his muscles and bones, made them pop audibly. In her name, there were things he avoided doing, despite how much they would help. She would not understand; she was too kind hearted for this world, even though she was pushed to do vile things. Things were not so well for them now that they could afford to be so lenient. He had learned their tricks through the scars on his body. He remembered how sweet temptation tasted when it was dangled in front of him. Others were not so strong now as he had been then.

"Chem, we've got a problem," Bo called, banging on the door.

Chem went to the door and stepped outside, his feet shuffling, his shoulders stooped. His eyes slid from side to side, taking in the darkened hallway. Night had fallen. They worked best under cover of night. Silent, stealthy. He would hunt her and bring her back into the light. Save her.

"Rue's missed her past two communication times. Some are beginning to worry."

"Then we shall have to send someone after her. If she has turned on us like so many others, then she is not worthy."

"Or," Bo said slowly, noticing the change in Chem, "she could have been detained."

"Yes," Chem said. "Yes, I suppose she could have been detained. We will send someone to inquire of her whereabouts, but we will not hold out hope. People are not as loyal as they used to be. It is a shame. She was such a good one, too. It would break my heart to see her turned away from a just cause."

"Shall I select a party?" Bo asked, bowing.

"Yes. And can you tell me one thing?"

"If I know it, sir."

"Where is Fei?"

"Fei? I…I don't know. Can't say that I've seen him around lately. I assumed that he was too far away to get here in enough time."

Chem rolled his shoulders, his Burden of Protection fully in place, weighing against his shoulders again. This burden did not make him sag; it made him stand taller, push against it. Straighten his back and even the load. He was strong. He would outlast this mess. Fei had sworn his allegiance.

"No, they don't make them like they used to."

.O.

"Where are you going?"

Zuko wheeled around, ready to send a dagger at the intruder, one foot poised on the balcony. His dao were strapped to his back, a replica of the blue spirit mask in hand.

"What are you doing in my room?" he hissed at Azula. He hadn't even heard her come in; he'd been too focused on his mission. "Get out."

"No."

She stood with her arms crossed, and Zuko huffed, striding over to her. He pointed to the door, used a tone that said there was no room for argument.

"_Out_."

"_You_ were the blue spirit?" Azula looked up at him, questioningly. "You broke the Ava—Aang out of Zhao's prison? Alone? Without bending? _You?_"

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Please, dear sister, try not to sound too shocked. Now get out. Please."

"Where are you going?"

"To the prison." Zuko started walking back toward the balcony, determined to get his night mission back on track. There were people he needed to talk to, and Azula wasn't making this the easiest task in the world.

"Why? You're not going as Fire Lord, so you clearly know you're not supposed to be there."

"For fuck's sake, Azula, you don't care this much about what I'm doing."

There was no reason for him to be there talking with her and wasting time. He needed to go see that girl. Rue, Long said her name was. She believed the same things Chem believed, and he needed to understand this. Long and Inara were clearly too caught up in their entirely reasonable Chem-hate to make him understand what about Chem was so persuasive. It didn't make sense that so many people would so blindly follow such an obviously twisted man. He couldn't have a maniac leading a maniac army, threatening to march on the capitol and stage some kind of coup. He'd promised his people that the fighting was over, that they would have peace, and he would make damn sure he kept that promise.

"I'll have Ty Lee chi block you, and you'll be a useless Zuko puddle on the floor."

"Oh yeah?" Zuko called over his shoulder. He was perched on the balcony rail, ready to jump down. "Well, I'll have Toph—'

"Why do you think she skipped her yearly parental visit, dum dum?"

Now that it was brought to his attention, Zuko realized that Toph _hadn't_ left since the failed mission to find his mother. She'd stayed in the Fire Nation, and Zuko didn't even question it; he'd been too caught up in righting things. He pinched the bridge of his nose and got off the railing. They were babysitting him. They were watching over him like a child, because they knew he'd do something the moment he had the chance. Zuko groaned.

"I know you want mom back—"

"This isn't _just_ about her," he said quietly.

It was odd to be standing there on the balcony next to Azula. And they weren't trying to shove each other off. It wasn't half bad. They'd been like this once before, so long ago, back when their ages were in the single digits. Back when Ursa did her best to keep Azula's bending a secret from Ozai by keeping Azula from bending until she was three and old enough to ask Ozai for herself. So far back that Ozai used to smile at him not-quite-frigidly.

"So, what's it about then?"

"Like you care."

Part of him didn't want her to care. When too much was so uncertain, when there was the threat of invasion, and civil war on his doorstep, the last thing he wanted to deal with was the hope that his sister was better, only to be crushed later when she had to be readmitted. He had his moments of optimism, but he'd been a pessimist for too long. He was too used to looking at the downside of things. Azula bumped into him with her shoulder.

"You cared for me," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "Besides, I'm stuck with you. You're all I've got."

It would be wrong to ignore all the progress she made. It would be wrong to ignore that she clung to him as the only one she really and truly trusted. It stirred up the anger in him again. If Ozai had been less focused on the war, more focused on his family, even marginally so, things wouldn't have gotten this bad.

"Come on," Zuko said, nodding inside.

They sat in silence on the edge of his bed, Zuko with the mask dangling between his knees. He was happier than he'd admit to anyone that he found another blue spirit mask. It wasn't quite the same as the first; it was a little more sinister, but it still offered the same amount of freedom, which was the most important thing to him. If he needed to just get out and run, free from guards and the weight of his responsibility, that mask allowed him to do that.

"How did you get Katara to like you when she hated your guts?"

The question caught Zuko off guard, and he looked at Azula, hoping to judge her sincereity. She was turned away from him.

"That…that's a really long story. And complicated." He frowned.

"So." Azula shrugged. "You're not going anywhere. Tell me."

"I get it. Yes. I'm staying here. You can leave. I'll go to bed."

"I leave, and you'll just put that mask on and hop out the window."

"So you plan to stay here all night?" Zuko crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow.

Azula turned to him and smirked. "It'll be like a sleepover. We did it when we were kids."

Zuko laughed. Ok, so maybe it wasn't all bad having Azula like this. He'd changed, and that change stuck. There was no reason Azula's change couldn't stick. For all of Aang's preachiness, Zuko had to admit that he was right about some things. People could change, and they deserved a second chance. And if you were going to give them that second chance, you didn't get to throw their past mistakes back in their faces. Honestly, where would Zuko be if his friends kept throwing _his_ mistakes in his face? He'd made enough of them.

"Fine," Zuko said, sighing with a smile.

He went to the wardrobe, tossed the mask in a secret compartment, and fished out his nightclothes. When he came back, Azula was already under the covers, but she was on the wrong side of the bed.

"You have to sleep on the other side."

"No I don't. I always sleep on this side."

"You do not." Zuko crossed his arms and glared at her. "I can't sleep with my back to the door."

"Then roll over, dum dum. It's not that hard."

"Yeah, but then you'll be behind me. I don't like that."

"Are you serious?" Azula crossed her arms and stared back. "How does she even sleep in the same _bed_ as you? Why do you have so many rules? It's a damn bed. Lie down and close your eyes." She pointed to the spot closest to the door with finality.

"Ok. I'm the Fire Lord. This is my room. This is my bed. My bed. I make the rules. Unlike _you_, Katara understands the bed rules, and she's ok with them. Now scoot."

Azula didn't move, instead choosing to start a staring match. It was a battle of wills, but it was a little unfair. Zuko regularly engaged in such battles with Katara, Queen of the Staredown, had to face his council and glare them into submission when words weren't enough, and had been forced to create a glare so strong that even _Toph_ knew he was glaring and felt bad about what she'd done. Then there was Azula's discomfort with prolonged eye contact. She didn't like people staring because bad things tended to follow the staring, like whispering and laughing and taunting. There was no way Azula was going to win. And she didn't.

"Fine," she said, rolling her eyes and scooting close to the door. "Don't get used to this. I won't always let you win."

"If that's what you want to call it to make yourself feel better."

As he closed his eyes, it occurred to Zuko that this was the way Sokka and Katara fought. It wasn't malicious; no one was flinging any elements or boomerangs. They didn't hit each other. It was a friendly fight full of friendly challenges. He liked it.

"Remember that time he told us our bedtime story instead of mom?" Azual whispered in the semi-dark.

Zuko snorted. "Yeah. Mom was _pissed_."

Azula laughed. He laughed.

"What do you think she did to him?" Azula asked.

"Hey, did you know mom's a master of poisons? And she made Ozai actually love her?"

"No way." Auzla sat up and looked at him. "He's not capable of love."

Zuko shrugged. "That's what I thought. But Uncle assured me he did. He says that's why Ozai only banished her and didn't have her killed. He couldn't bring himself to do it."

They sat in silence for a while, contemplating that. Ozai, at one point, did understand love, had felt love. And that he denied them both _real_ love. Those weren't exactly pleasant thoughts before bedtime, because it meant that Ozai had looked at them and deemed them unworthy. Zuko changed gears.

"Want to know something _else_ about mom?"

"How do you know all this?"

"I asked. Anyway, mom lived as a man for a year in the eastern Earth Kingdom town of Opo. Oh, Azulon chose wives to spy on his sons to make sure they did exactly what he wanted them to do, and mom decided that Ozai shouldn't have the throne, so she helped Uncle spy on him. Then Ozai found out."

Azula smiled devilishly. "Do _you_ want to know something about mom? She had an affair with her best friend, Na."

Zuko bolted up. "She did not. Na's a wom…an…" His eyes grew wide and he looked at Azula, but she only crossed her arms and nodded sagely.

"Turns out he had the wrong parts."

They smiled at each other and chuckled to themselves. Yeah, this wasn't half bad.

"Oh, Zuko?"

"Yeah?"

"Your bed creaks."

* * *

><p>What an entrance Aang makes, huh? The "Southern arc" of this story takes us to a few interesting places, and one thing it lets me explore is what happens to Katara as Sokka trains to become Chief. Essentially, she gets pushed out. Everything that she does would become part of Sokka's job. As far as Katara avoiding the hard thinking she's got to do regarding Zuko, I think there'd be a fair amount of anxiety associated with that. Katara is a practical person, and I think a lot of that has to do with being raised in the South. When resources are low, there's no wasting of anything. You plan and you stick as close to that plan as possible, but you also have to be adaptable. There's little room for kidding yourself about your skills and abilities, but almost as important as anything else (particularly for Katara) is to keep upbeat. There's no time for moping during hunting season or the harsh winters. A big fear of hers would be accepting Zuko and the title, but later finding out that she can't do what she needs to. Even now, as she seriously weighs the consequences in her head, Katara doesn't have a good grasp on just what all this <em>means<em>. This is very much one of those situations where you need to be in it to truly understand the weight of it. For better or worse.

Our darling Chem. He _is_ in it, but he's like the steel frame that's warped under the pressure of the building. Ozai wasn't above torture, and we'll get to why Ozai wants Ursa back if he banished her in the first place a little later in the story. Chem's definitely one who takes his job too seriously, and was every bit as stalkerish as Azulon/Azulon's spies. If Ursa ever found out just how much Chem knew about her and Ozai's relationship, she'd be pissed. And embarrassed. And pissed because she's embarrassed.

And finally, some Zuko/Azula sibling bonding! Darling Zuzu, everyone knows you'll say 'fuck it,' and do whatever you want, that's why they babysit you. But it also gave me a chance to look at how their relationship has changed, and how they might have been when they were younger. Zuko's still very cautious since Azula's only just out of the asylum, and there is a chance of relapse. I like to think that, at some point, he's been burned by Azula enough that he'd actually _remember_ to be wary around her sometimes. Seriously, Zuko. Chanting "Azula always lies" doesn't count if you're going to listen to her anyway. And we didn't really see her lying to him much when they were younger, did we? From my (hazy) memory, I think she always told him the truth in flashbacks. But I digress. Zuko and Azula speculate on Ursa's relationship with her best friend. Neither of them really know their mother, even if Zuko did ask about Lily of the Valley. At some point, they'll have to put the face with the deeds, and down the line, I think Azula might respond better than Zuko. He puts Ursa on a high enough pedestal as it is, and in my universe here, no one is perfect. _No one. _:D

**edit: I just saw that I have _91_ reviews for this story. You guys are the most awesome, best, most wonderful people ever! Whether you lurk or you comment, I appreciate you just taking the time out to read this thing. I know it's been bumpy in some places, and I'm honestly just happy that someone's enjoying it. Internet hugs for all! :D**


	14. To Covet, To Crave

Sokka and Suki were playing in the snow, fort building dissolving into a snowball fight. Suki shrieked as a snowball hit her in the side of her face, and the melted ice trickled down her back.

"Sokka!" She was giggling like mad.

Suki grabbed a handful of snow and chased after Sokka. Both were laughing, and their breath steamed in the air. Sokka tripped on a pile of snow he created and went down, Suki on top of him, shoving the wad of snow down his back. He screamed and rolled wildly, trying to remove the cold intruder, then he grabbed Suki's arm and pulled her down with him as she tried to get up. The snow fight quickly dissolved into snow-making out, Sokka's arms firm around Suki's waist. Sometimes Suki let out a little satisfied moan as her hands roamed over Sokka's parka covered chest.

A sharp pain hit Katara's heart, and she sighed, deciding to leave the two of them alone in the snow. She trudged up the stairs and into the house. All this, and she'd only been back in the South for two weeks.

"Hey, what's with Katara?" she heard Suki ask.

"She's been seriously moody since she got back. I'm still waiting on Zuko's answer."

She closed the door on them, not paying much attention to what they were saying, removed her coat, and went to the kitchen where she sat with her head in her hands. The letter from Zuko had come right before bed, and she hadn't slept at all, trying to figure out how best to answer his question.

_Why didn't you tell me Chem was trying to turn you into a pawn with the intention that we'd get married and you'd whisper his venom in my ear?_

That was it. That one question. She'd spent the first part of the night trying to figure out what the tone was, whether he was curious, angry, or hurt. Then she was going to say screw it, and tell him that she was pretending the conversation didn't happen, but given his recent revelations, she couldn't bring herself to just leave it at that. Her mind quickly went wild with questions, and she struggled against making assumptions. How much did he know, and how did he find out? He never questioned how she knew about the war criminals. Did he know that it was Chem who told her, and did he think that she was actually listening to Chem? Maybe he'd been studying her reaction to his confession for an entirely different reason. Was he fishing for a certain answer? Was he questioning her loyalty to him? They'd shared so much through the years that it must have come as a surprise that she'd hidden something so very important from him. Not that it was her intention to hide anything. It hadn't even crossed her mind. She rarely put any stock in the things Chem said.

"If you want, we can go somewhere private, but this conversation is happening now," Gran said from the doorway.

"I don't feel like talking right now."

Sighing, Gran came to sit down next to her, placing her hand on Katara's.

"How _do_ you feel? I'm not the only one who's noticed you being very emotional lately. Your father and I had a long talk about it last night."

Katara shrugged. She felt like she betrayed him because she _did_ think of Chem when he was being honest with her, she felt like she wasn't being honest with herself, she felt like it was too hard to choose between the South and the Fire Nation. She felt like there was no way she could admit the truth to her father and still have him respect her. She felt like home and Zuko weren't exactly two separate things. She felt like this was real. They had officially moved past empty words and far off promises. This was _real_. She shrugged again.

"You were so sure of yourself at first. What happened?" Gran was stroking her hair, coaxing Katara to lean her head against her grandmother's comforting shoulder.

"He made me promise that I'd think about it. That I'd put some distance between us, and ask myself if I'm absolutely sure I'd be able to live with what needed to be done."

"And?"

"I _was_ sure at first, when I was with him. In my mind, I never hesitated. But the more I think about corruption and assassination attempts and all the lies…"

Then the letter had come, and it was so sparse. It wasn't even enough to qualify as a letter. It was like a note, a memo. A scrap of paper that hadn't even come on a messenger hawk. It came on a much smaller bird. She was a worrier, and Zuko knew that. Maybe he was just busy, but her mind kept spinning all sorts of scenarios where he was angry or hurt or thought she was following Chem's plan and would cast her out, deeming her too dangerous to keep close.

"Doing what needs to be done isn't meant to be easy," Gran said. "He told me the decisions he makes are hard. That he'll sit up all night thinking about them, and there are times when he's not sure he's made the right one. That's the way being a leader is supposed to be. If you can sleep soundly every night of your life, you're not doing it right."

If she was being honest with herself, Katara was jealous of Sokka and Suki. She was jealous of the ease of their relationship, that no one was really opposing it, that no one had ever opposed it, that they never had to hide. She was jealous that they'd never dug themselves into a hole so deep it was almost too hard to see the top.

Gran chuckled and placed her hand on top of Katara's head. "Oh, little pup." She kissed Katara's cheek. "You don't have to be jealous of them. Just say yes. Love him and let him love you. The rest you can deal with together."

"You can read minds? I knew it!" Katara jolted away from her grandmother, blushing. It wasn't fair. If she'd known before, there were so many times Katara would have thought about something else when her grandmother entered the room.

"Relax," Gran cackled. "I saw the way you were looking at Sokka and Suki earlier. I don't want to know your dirty thoughts, little pup. Talk to your father. Ask him what it's like to be chief sometime. You'll find that it's not that different from what Zuko has to do. And while you're at it, you can tell him about you and Zuko because I'm tired of trying to ease his concerns."

Gran left her to think, but rather than mope around the house, Katara headed to the bending arena. Bending always soothed her. Pakku was instructing a group of teenaged waterbenders in the largest bending arena, and she watched him as she leaned against the door, while he moved through a series of beginning moves, Northern style. He led the class in forming a water whip, then creating ice spikes. It was a warm up she'd gone through millions of times.

If she stayed in the South, she could be a teacher, working at both the healing school and the waterbending school. She frowned. Part of her felt that this wasn't fair. Everyone else would be someone important, even Toph. Even if she didn't want political power, Toph would always be a Bei Fong, and that screamed importance and power. Katara would just be a teacher and a wife and a mother. She probably wouldn't even be needed as an ambassador anymore, not with Sokka taking over as chief. Not that there was anything wrong with being a wife, teacher, mother, and ambassador. It was just that she had as much to contribute as Sokka did, and even with the title of ambassador, her contributions would be limited. Her voice would become easy to ignore, forcing her into a secondary or tertiary role. Zuko had specifically said he wanted her to rule alongside him as an equal. He said that she'd had too many good ideas to just be relegated to a supporting role. He was offering her the chance to be someone important, just like everyone else.

When Pakku had the group rest before moving into more complex forms, Katara made her move, pushing all thoughts of inadequacy aside in favor of a well-honed battle focus. The ground shook and the ice cracked, threatening to swallow Pakku whole with massive teeth, and the teens screamed and started running, but Pakku was better than that. He forced the ice back down, sending a few spears in her direction. She dodged those easily, grabbing water from the surrounding pools and aiming it at his back. He turned, but the blow caught him in the shoulder, throwing him off balance and into an awkward spin.

Katara left the doorway, fending off spears and daggers and the occasional wave as the students retreated to a safer distance, high up in the bleachers. The best thing about fighting against Pakku was that he wasn't as widely travelled as she was. Katara knew three distinct styles of bending, and she used these to her advantage. With the Southern style, she bent like water, Pakku unable to detect where her moves were coming from. She easily dodged everything he sent at her, while he struggled to block moves that he saw too late.

Just for fun, she mimicked Zuko's firebending, her stance effortlessly copying his and becoming more aggressive. She scowled the way he often did when he was concentrating, his smirk sometimes slithering onto her face when she knew a move would connect, her shoulders rigid as she lunged, sending the water barreling toward Pakko so hard that it shattered the hasty shield he erected and knocked him back. Not giving up her advantage, Katara widened her stance, brought water close against her body, then let it shoot outward in a wide spray of icy daggers. From the ground, Pakku barely blocked the spears with an ice shield. He aimed high, launching himself off the ground, but Katara dropped down, swinging her legs around her, using Foggy Swamp style to control the water with her feet, sending it sweeping toward Pakku. It caught him in the legs, and he went down again. It was all so natural. So _right_.

The students cheered from their perch.

"I wish I never agreed to teach you," Pakku said, laughing and accepting her hand. "Now you come back and defeat me easily in front of my students every time."

"Master Katara," one of the students called from the bleachers. "That last move. Which waterbending style does it belong to?"

The class eagerly awaited her answer. Katara smiled and was about to respond, but Pakku cut in.

"Why don't _you_ tell us," he said, turning to his students, ever the teacher. "Which style do you think it is?"

They were an eager bunch, yelling their answers of Northern and Foggy Swamp and Southern, debating why it had to be one over the other. It wasn't a fair question, but Pakku didn't know that. When, after two minutes, no consensus had been reached, Pakku turned to her.

"Well?"

Katara smiled smugly, that silly little Zuko grin on her face. "Actually, you're all wrong. It's not a waterbending move at all. Not really."

"Hm." Pakku crossed his arms, and Katara could have kicked herself for blushing. Pakku always had to come along and stir up some trouble. "Let me guess."

"If he can steal my water whip, I can steal something of his," Katara said, sticking her nose in the air. She turned to the students. "It's something I borrowed from Fire Lord Zuko. You can control the water with your feet using either Foggy Swamp or Southern style, but for this, Foggy Swamp works best."

Pakku invited her to stay for the rest of the class and give a special lecture about the difference between mastering forms and bending during an actual fight, which she was more than happy to do. It wasn't like she had anything else planned for the rest of the day, and focusing on her bending had done much to ease the tension from her mind and her body. After she left the bending class, she went to the healing school where she taught a class until it was time for dinner. She delayed leaving, staying behind to answer questions, and effectively avoiding the real thinking that she needed to be doing.

On the way back to the house, the streets were busy, and people passed by her without seeming to realize who she was. Alone with her thoughts, there was no way she could really avoid thinking about tough subjects any longer. Some people did wave or stop to say hi to her, but it was nothing like walking through the market in the Fire Nation capitol where people stopped and addressed her and Zuko all the time. They were a unit, but still had separate identities. People were used to seeing them together, like when they were holding hands and just out for a walk. Or when they sat together in the gardens, and his arm was around her waist, and she could lean her head on his shoulder, and the older couples would walk by and say how cute they were together. Or when they went to the Jasmine Dragon that one time, and they almost, _almost_ kissed, except that damn messenger had to come and ruin it…

Katara stopped walking. She passed her house about seven blocks back. She shrugged and turned around. Maybe Zuko was a little hurt about the Chem thing, but he wouldn't be mad. Zuko knew how she felt about Chem, and she knew that he _was_ busy. Two of his most influential council members had just tried to assassinate him; there was a lot to occupy his mind, and he probably did write that note to her quickly while he was writing a bunch of other notes. She knew the way Zuko worked. Katara decided to go with her original plan and tell Zuko that Chem had tried to recruit her, and she hadn't said anything because there was never any intention of following it through. Zuko probably didn't doubt her sincereity or her love for him, but he would be curious about why she hadn't said anything. She often let her worrying blow things out of proportion, just like Zuko let his negative attitude make things more serious than they really were. It was a pretty good sign that you knew where your heart was if you missed your house because you were daydreaming about a guy and the way he held you in his arms. She nodded firmly to herself as she opened the door and began taking off her coat.

"Finally!" Sokka shouted, running to the front room and helping her out of the coat.

"Back off, Sokka. I can take off my own coat." Katara tried to push him out of the way.

"Dinner's getting cold. You know how Gran is. We had to wait for you." He lowered his voice as he leaned in closer to her. "If you weren't so busy daydreaming about a certain firebender we could have been so much closer to dessert."

Katara gasped, yanking Sokka by the back of his shirt when he tried to leave.

"You don't just say something like that and walk away, Sokka," Katara sputtered desperately, trying not to feel caught and embarrassed. "What do you mean? I haven't been daydreaming. And why would I be dreaming about Zuko? I mean—"

"Sure, sis." Sokka patted her head. "You haven't been daydreaming _at all_. Now, to dinner."

All through dinner, Sokka and Suki were making eyes at each other. Suki made Sokka's favorite sea prune dish on her own, which Sokka praised as just as good as Gran's. Katara tried not to stare at them. For the most part, they'd moved past the touchy stage where they couldn't keep their hands off each other, but there was still a clear affection. Sokka pecked Suki on the cheek after complimenting her, and her smile was beautiful and radiant. Sometimes their hands lingered when they passed food around, or Sokka would just watch Suki, the softest look in his eyes.

Katara wanted that. She quickly stopped caring that it was obvious she was watching them. She didn't care that she probably had that 'soft look of desperate longing' Zuko said she sometimes got when she wanted something badly. She was definitely writing that letter to Zuko. They made a good team, and when it came to those difficult decisions… Well, she'd had to make tough choices before, but so long as she thought with care and a clear mind, she never regretted a single one. And as far as where she would call home, the important thing was that she was with the one she loved. She didn't have to _abandon_ the South. The only downside was that Gran, Pakku, and Hakoda weren't the only ones to notice her longing. Aang did, too. That was another person she'd have to tell, and she wanted to do that like she wanted to be eaten by a giant walrus.

"Excuse me," Katara said, standing up before dessert was served. "I need to write a letter. A very important letter."

"More important than dessert? Who're you sending it to?" Hakoda asked.

Everyone was looking at her, and her palms started sweating, and Katara nervously rubbed them on her pants, the smoothed her shirt. She wished they wouldn't all stare at her like that. Certainly not with Sokka leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest, encouraging her with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Well, uh…" Katara tugged at her hair and looked at Gran for help, but the shifty old woman was purposefully busying herself with a dessert that looked suspiciously like Zuko's favorite custard.

"Now, we don't have our favorite firebender to make the top all crunchy for us," Gran said as she sat the desserts down on the table. "We'll have to make do with what we have." She held a small torch over the top so it started to bubble.

Katara huffed and stamped her foot. "Why are you making his favorite dessert and he's not even here? I'm sure he's back in the Fire Nation, devouring that…stupid…stupid Zuko."

Just like that, her mind flew out the window, because she was reminded of the _last_ time Gran made Zuko's favorite dessert, and he'd actually been there. He'd eaten it with a lot of…enthusiasm. Curling his tongue against the bottom of the dish… Using his fingers to scoop out every last bit… Sucking on his fingers… Delicious…

"Uh…" Katara cleared her throat, blushing. Everyone was looking at her. "I've got to…write that letter. Now." She nodded.

Katara beat a really hasty retreat. Inside her room, she locked the door. If she wasn't thinking dirty thoughts just then, it would have been a great time to tell her family about her and Zuko. But they had a plan. Ember Island, talk to her dad, proposal. Good. This was something she didn't want to tackle alone. If she had Zuko there, the anger and disappointment would be split between the two of them, not just heaped on her.

_I miss you so so so so much. I'm stuck here, watching Sokka and Suki make out in the snow, and get all cuddly at dinner, and she even learned to make his favorite sea prune dish. It's sweet and all, but I want to cuddle, too._

_I didn't tell you about Chem, you're right, and maybe I should have. It's just that I only thought seriously about what he was saying for all of five minutes last year. When you kissed me by the lake, I knew I could never doubt you, that Chem had to be wrong, and I decided I would pretend that our conversation never happened. I hadn't thought about it again until you were telling me everything you had to do. He's convinced that the Fire Nation has more money than you're admitting, that you refuse aid to the Earth Kingdom in order to keep that money, and that you willingly and knowingly make deals with war criminals so that you can keep them on your council. It hurt to hear that he was right on some accounts, but he never knew the whole story. I have to trust you, and I do trust you, and together we can make a way where the Fire Nation doesn't have to be so dependent on the colonies, and the embezzlement stops, and the taxes stay low. I know we can._

_I love you, Zuko, and I want to marry you and be your wife and your Fire Lady. I love you I love you I love you I love you._

_And don't forget our plan. In case you already forgot, we're inviting everyone to Ember Island, where you'll talk to Dad and ask for permission to marry me. We'll tell everyone that we're in love, and announce our engagement. And you can give me my necklace. You have been working on it, right? Because we won't be properly engaged without it._

_I'm serious._

_I love you, my little koalaotter._

_Katara_

_P.S. I'm serious, Zuko. Don't forget my necklace and the plan._

* * *

><p>I'm not dead! I've just had one hell of a week, with no real break. But not to fear! I've got updates all around!<p>

So, one of the things that bothers me about Katara's future in the Avatar-verse as we move towards Korra is that she gets demoted to being nothing more than a wife. I found it more than mildly aggravating that Katara-billed as one of the strongest female characters-becomes The Avatar's Wife. Yeah, maybe she'll help Aang out a bit, but she's demoted. Seriously. I intend to fix that.

Katara also has one last doubty moment. I might have said this on a previous chapter, but I think she'd be nervous about the ramifications of her decision. It could go so many different ways, and now she's even closer to having to make that big confession. Already, things are starting to unravel before she's ready to admit them. More on that later. Also, awkward moments in front of the family, and the return of another stupid Katara nickname.

Now I want to take the time out to thank every single one of you again, because this story has 100 reviews. You guys are amazing and special and every review brightens my day. Thanks again for sticking with me through this. I hope I'm being good to you all!


	15. Tell Me Your Secret

Katara moaned softly, rolling over in the plush covers, feeling warm hands move from her shoulders, down to her waist where fingers hooked into the top of her underwear. When Zuko didn't have any early meetings, he wasn't opposed to a little middle of the night romp. Or two.

"Katara…"

She rolled onto her stomach, feeling the soft furs underneath her. It had been a while since she and Zuko were in the South together, in the same bed. She moaned again, feeling his hands slip lower, and she followed him with her own hand, just to encourage him a little, let him know that she wasn't entirely sleep.

"Katara…"

One hand moved away from her body and bumped into something. She explored it. A knee. So, Zuko had been out of bed, then got back in.

"Uh…Katara?"

Katara let her hand move up…up… Funny. Zuko was bigger than that.

"K-Katara! Wake up!"

Someone was shaking her, and when she finally opened her eyes, it was not, in fact, Zuko at all. Zuko's eyes weren't grey, he wasn't bald, and he certainly didn't have a blue arrow tattooed on his head. She was groping Aang while having dirty dreams about Zuko and touching herself. She did the only logical thing there was to do.

She screamed. Loudly.

Katara flung herself across the bed, snatching the blankets and ripping ice from the walls to form daggers to keep stupid Aang and his stupid, stupid intruding stupid self far away from her against the wall. She took more ice to lock herself and the blanket in a slightly opaque bubble. By that time, the rest of the house had come running, and Hakoda was the first to slam open her door, sword in hand, followed closely by Sokka and his space sword, and Suki and her fans.

"What's going on here?" Hakoda asked, looking between the two. His nostrils were flared, and his grip on his sword firm, ready for chopping heads off.

Katara's heart was beating furiously in her chest, and she was hiding her face in her hands, feeling horribly humiliated and on the verge of tears. She was only wearing one of Zuko's shirts and a very tiny pair of underwear. Hakoda must have seen one of her bare legs sticking out, noticing a distinct lack of clothing, because he rounded on Aang while Sokka and Suki rushed over to her.

"What were you doing to my daughter?" he growled.

"N-nothing! I swear, honest! Avatar's honor! I was just worried about her. I heard her moaning in her sleep and thought she was having another nightmare."

Aang was squirming and desperately trying to make himself smaller. He didn't try to bend away the ice pinning him to the wall. Belatedly, Katara covered herself with the blanket, though she couldn't be sure that Sokka, at least, didn't see and recognize what she was wearing. Katara pulled the blanket over her head and shut all of them out. She groaned, rocking back and forth. How much more humiliating could things get?

"Katara, what happened?" Hakoda's voice was approaching the ice bubble. "Open up, little pup." He knocked on the bubble.

"No." She most certainly would not let her father find out about Zuko this way. "I need a moment. To get dressed."

"Pup…"

"Dad, I'm not a little girl anymore!" She clutched the blanket tighter around her.

"You'll always be my little girl," Hakoda said a little uncertainly.

"Dad, I'm going to be…" Katara clamped her mouth shut. …Somebody's wife soon. Way to go, Aang. Way to make her almost go against her own plan. She groaned.

"Going to be what?" There was an edge to his voice, like he often got when he was punishing them as children.

"Let me take care of it, Dad."

Katara couldn't see them, but she could imagine Sokka putting his hand on their father's shoulder. His voice was serious, and he began coordinating the vacating of her bedroom like it was some stupid military operation. She wanted her koalaotter, only she wanted him to be a polar leopard just then.

When she was clothed in proper pajamas, she went to find Sokka. Naturally, her first stop was the kitchen, and naturally, that's where he was. He was leaning back in a chair, swirling something in a cup, a bottle sitting on the table. Katara sat down opposite him, and he pushed the bottle closer to her, followed by a cup.

"Is it that kind of conversation?" Katara asked, wincing. She picked at the edge of the label of the arctic brandy.

"Yeah." Sokka ran his hand over his face before taking a gulp from his cup. "Yeah, I think it might be."

Katara pulled her feet up into the chair and sipped her own drink. They sat in silence for a while. Sokka didn't seem to be in a hurry, and neither was Katara; this wasn't a conversation that she was quite willing to push. She was the type of person to confront problems head on, but this was her family, and she knew keeping this secret would hurt them. No matter how she and Zuko tried to justify it, no matter how legitimate their reasons, she couldn't be sure that everyone would understand. At this point, Katara's greatest fear was tearing her family apart. Sokka downed the rest of his brandy before talking.

"It's Zuko. And don't bother telling me this is something that happened recently."

Katara sighed. "I thought you'd be the last one to figure it out."

"Zuko's thing is the broody death stare. Mine? Act a little out of it, make a lot of jokes, and people don't think you're serious about stuff. I'm not half as dense as people think I am, and I use it to my advantage. It's worked on you."

"Sokka! I can't believe you." Katara slammed her cup down on the table, her fists going to her hips.

"Not happening," Sokka said, a finger pointed in her direction. "You are in _no_ position to be upset about _any_ sort of deception."

"Point taken."

"The thing is, I just don't understand _why_. I mean, at first I thought you two didn't realize it. I was all prepared to get Gran and Uncle in on it, too. I had a _plan_, Katara." Sokka narrowed his eyes at her. "A _plan_."

"How much of this have you had to drink already?"

Sokka wasn't looking unstable in his seat at all, and there were times when it was hard to distinguish drunk Sokka from sober Sokka, but she was pretty sure he'd had a few glasses before she worked up the nerve to come down.

"That, baby sister, is not important. Look, the point is, I figured out you two must know how you feel for each other, or else you wouldn't be all…touchy like that." Sokka was wiggling his fingers, now. Katara rolled her eyes. "You could have just told us. It's not like we'd be upset."

"Your plan is exactly why neither of us said anything. Five years ago it wouldn't have worked. There was _no way_ I could have become Fire Lady. I wasn't even _ready_ for marriage then. I mean, with Zuko, it's never just getting married. His wife _has_ to be Fire Lady, and that's a lot of responsibility. And if everyone had known, and it turned out we couldn't be together, things would have been awkward for the rest of our lives. I couldn't live without him at least as my best friend."

That scenario had played in her mind countless times. They'd show up for family gatherings, her married to another guy, him married to some stuffy power hungry noblewoman hussy. If everyone knew, their family would pity them. In each conversation and in every smile, every friendly hug or sparring match, in every sharing of secrets they would see unrequieted love. Their family would remind them constantly of the thing they would try to move past. There would never be any amount of trust from their spouses; innocent moments together would be met with accusations of infidelity. The temptation _would_ be there. She and Zuko were good at sneaking around. What if that accidental touch wasn't so accidental, and it led to more 'accidental' touches? Touches that turned into caresses and kisses. What if they lost control?

"No matter what else we may be," Katara said quietly, "he is my best friend. I wouldn't be able to not see him. If everyone knew, that pressure and the constant accusation would be there. If I married someone else…"

"I don't oppose you and Zuko, really, I don't. That's why I never said anything. I figured the two of you would get together on your own. Hell, there have been times when I've _purposely_ left the two of you alone with a bottle of wine or two, hoping something would happen. I thought it would be kind of cool to have Zuko be part of the family. For real."

Katara looked away. "How long have you known?"

Sokka let out a short laugh. "I've had my suspicions since Ember Island during the war. When you two got really close and he started smiling more often, I started wondering if something more wasn't going on. I was ready to rip his limbs off for touching my baby sister, even if he is my best friend. Then when nothing came of that, I figured you two had to be just friends." Sokka swirled the replenished brandy in his cup, his brows creasing. "I've probably had the most opportunities to watch the two of you together, and about four years ago I made up my mind that you two did…you do… I mean, he doesn't look at _anyone_ like that. Except you. And trust me, I recognize that look."

"We do what?" Katara smiled a little, watching Sokka struggle to say that she and Zuko were in love.

"Even as best friends, you're good for him," Sokka said, waving the issue away and moving on. "He's like a big brother to me, and I know I can turn to him for advice about so many things, and he never mocks me for it, not seriously anyway. We're open with each other, but he hides things from me, like how stressed he is." Sokka looked at her. "We know how he gets when he's overworked. He stops paying attention to his own needs. I know you hate when I send him jerky, Katara, but he _eats_ it, and sometimes I think that's all that keeps him from wasting away."

Katara looked into her cup. It was good that Sokka didn't hate her, or think that she and Zuko together was a disgusting possibility. She just didn't like the way he was all serious with her, his brows furrowed and the corners of his mouth turned down. He was scolding her without scolding, and giving his blessing without being so straightforward. Katara sighed. It wasn't fair for her to deny that Sokka had grown up, too. He was being evenhanded with her, not condemning her outright for following her heart.

"If you're there, I don't have to worry about him so much. I know you take care of him, and as nasty as it is to have to say this, I know he takes care of you."

"Why is it nasty?" Katara asked, smiling slightly. She poured herself more of the brandy.

"Because I don't want to think of my baby sis as a…a woman." Sokka wrinkled his nose. "He's attentive to your needs, but he doesn't baby you. You know how I felt about parts of your relationship with Aang. You're bossy and stubborn, and you take charge and get things done. Sometimes Aang has this…impossible standard for you. It's like he couldn't always see the real you, even though it was obvious to me." Sokka frowned. "I watched you struggle to live up to that, Katara, and yeah, Aang got better as he got older, but… I mean, I know I'm a little biased toward Zuko, but still."

Katara smiled at her brother. He was a good brother, and she had to give him credit. He did fool her, and she felt almost negligent for not noticing his more serious moods.

Sokka leaned forward. "Just understand that if he ever hurts you…"

"Please," Katara waved this away. "Zuko could totally beat you up. And he does."

"You know that, and I know that, but this has to be said or else I wouldn't be a proper big brother. And he doesn't _always_ beat me, you know."

"So you're not mad?"

"A bit hurt and disappointed, but not mad. I can understand why you two would keep quiet. If Suki and I couldn't be together, I don't know what I'd do. Besides, I figure it's probably the universe paying me back for making you listen to us." He shrugged. "But you've got to tell Dad. I'm not doing that."

"Oh, I'm not doing it either. Zuko's doing it."

"Does he know that he's doing it?"

Katara made a very noncommittal noise, drinking the last of her brandy. It left her feeling warm and tingly. She smiled, wrapping her arms around herself and leaning her head on her shoulder.

"This brandy—"

"You keep your dirty thoughts to yourself. Or go share them with Suki or Gran. Zuko's like my brother, you _are_ my sister, and I don't want that in my head."

"But don't you want to know all the ways he makes me happy?"

"All the ways _who_ makes you happy?"

Banter stopped. Katara's eyes widened when she noticed her father standing in the doorway. His arms were crossed and he was scowling deeply.

"Well, I guess Zuko _won't_ be telling Dad, huh?"

Sokka bolted before Katara even realized he trapped her in a very uncomfortable conversation with her father that she hadn't been prepared to have. Hakoda was sitting in the seat Sokka vacated, blocking any chance of a hasty exit, and now looking completely floored and hurt.

That bastard sold her out.

"We're going for a late night walk," Sokka said a little later, herding Aang and Suki in front of him, even though Suki was begging to know what was going on. Sokka must not have told her anything.

With the house empty, just her and her father, Katara wanted to cry, then she thought that maybe if she did, he'd go soft on her. But she did tell him that she wasn't a little girl anymore, and that meant owning up to her lies and not taking the easy way out. The temptation was still there, though, and at least it would buy her some time to gather her thoughts and a bit of strength.

"I'm waiting for you to start talking about you and Zuko, because I can't believe my own daughter would keep something like that a secret from me."

Katara couldn't quite meet his eyes. "Dad, promise me you won't be mad."

"I don't know that I can, Katara."

She had to pour herself another drink, and even after that, she wasn't sure she could tell him.

"What's the real reason he keeps sending you all those gifts?"

"Because he _likes_ sending me gifts, Dad. I'm still his best friend, and I'm still appreciative of everything he does for me."

Hakoda leaned forward, as if he was imparting an important life lesson she didn't already know. "He's a great kid, but that's not how it works, Katara. He can't buy your love—"

"We aren't children anymore, and he doesn't have to buy my love. It's the other way around."

So there. In vague terms, it was out. Hakoda just looked at her and blinked. He shook his head sadly.

"We don't sleep naked in the poles, Katara. Even close to a fire." He regarded her from the corner of his eyes, his face turned slightly away from her.

"I wasn't exactly naked…" Katara took a deep breath. Big confession number two. "I…I was wearing one of his shirts." Her voice came out as a soft whisper despite her intention to sound confident and unapologetic.

Hakoda slumped forward, his head in his hands. Katara hugged her knees to her chest, not sure if she should touch him, offer apologies, or try to explain her actions. That stabbing in her heart, she knew to be guilt. Guilt for keeping it a secret, for lying boldly in her father's face. He'd told her on several occasions that if something _was_ going on, he wouldn't be mad, that he would try to help them arrange something. He told her that if she cared for Zuko, he could understand. She looked him in the eye every time and said they were nothing more than best friends. That they weren't in love.

"It would be nice if you could tell me this was a recent revelation," Hakoda said, his voice muffled.

"But I can't." Katara rubbed her eyes.

"I didn't think you could," Hakoda mumbled, running his hands over his face. "Is this why you've been refusing every offer of marriage?"

"Yes."

He still wasn't looking at her. She just wanted him to look at her so she could see he didn't hate her.

"How long, Katara? How long have you been looking me in the eye and lying to me?"

"He wants to marry me. _We_ want to get married. He wants me to be his Fire Lady."

Hakoda looked up, then, his face contorted into a perfect picture of disappointment. He shook his head, and Katara's breath caught, the tears pushing forth, thinking he was meaning no. No, she can't marry Zuko. No, she can't be his Fire Lady. No, she can't love him.

"Dad, please," she begged, and when she reached out for his hand, he did not pull away from her. He bridged the gap between them, and held her hand firmly.

"How long, Katara? Spirits know I've asked you both about this enough times. Spririts know I've seen you together so many times and questioned it myself. But I took your _word_ for it, Katara. I ignored what my eyes told me all because your words said differently."

She blinked rapidly, hoping to keep the tears from falling, but all it did was blur her vision. She let them fall, forced her mouth to shape those words.

"Five years," she said. Hakoda cursed, turning away from her and letting go of her hands like she'd shocked him. "Ever since Ember Island."

"So, he takes lightning for you, and that means you _love_ him? The war was a stressful situation, Katara, I understand that, and maybe you two found comfort in each other, but… You _both_ knew better. I can't… You've been his mistress for _five years_ because he took lightning for you?"

"You know that's not true," Katara said, a little louder and harsher than she'd intended. "I have _never_ been his mistress."

"Really?" Hakoda raised his eyebrow as Katara clenched her fists. "I don't know what's true, Katara. _You_ have to tell me. You don't get to run away from this."

Katara held her breath, then released it slowly, clutching herself and hoping to stop the shaking. "I'm not running away."

"You're avoiding. You want to be his Fire Lady? I know the kinds of decisions he has to make." Hakoda turned to fully face her, taking both her hands in his and running his thumbs over her knuckles. "Little pup, if you can't even tell me, your own father, who has loved you and protected you with his life… If you can't explain to me this simple thing, how do you _ever_ expect to be Fire Lady? Maybe you're not ready. For marriage _or_ for being a ruler."

Katara looked at her father, unsure if he was trying to guilt her, impart a lesson, fish the truth from her, or any combination of these things.

"I love him," she said, her voice firm. "I love him so much. He was the _only one_ who was willing to let me make my own decision about Yan Rah. Not even Sokka…" She looked down at their hands on the table. "I was still angry with him, and yet he was the only one to understand that it was something I needed to face. I needed to face that hatred in myself, and we were in that cave on the way back, and he opened himself to me. He saw the worst in me when I thought I was going to kill that man, and he didn't hide anything from me."

Hakoda was watching her, no longer frowning, just looking in deep thought, and Katara took heart in his lack of apparent anger. She told him about them sharing secrets, about finding comfort in each other's silences. She talked about how they worked together and realized they made an amazing team, that they weren't so different. She told him that Zuko was the only one who noticed she wasn't sparring at her full strength, that he always pushed her and encouraged her to be better, even now, seeking out hidden potential and helping her reach it. There were things she was careful to leave out: the kiss during a half-naked bending battle, how she'd thought about Zuko kisses versus Aang kisses, how kisses turned to groping turned to grinding to cuddling, and how they'd crossed the line and became lovers.

She focused instead on the friendship and their intimacy and the trust and the understanding, trying to explain such abstract feelings in concrete terms so he'd understand. She told her father what she'd told Sokka about their hiding, how they didn't think things would work. How they finally thought they had a chance, that the world hadn't exploded when they kissed, how it was heaven to hold him and to be held by him. Finally, she told him about Lis and the insult and he bristled.

"_Azula_ defended me," Katara said, smiling. "Zuko didn't swoop in to rescue me like some damsel in distress, Dad. He let me handle my own confrontation, and when Lis broke all rules of decorum, he stepped in without hesitation. He stood behind me, Dad. He chose sides, in front of everyone, and he never hesitated. He chose _me_."

.O.

Zuko was an idiot. He couldn't _believe_ he'd overlooked this. It had somehow found its way inside a stack of last month's papers, where he wouldn't immediately notice it. Zuko could have flung himself out the window; he'd been so consumed with whatever work he was doing at the moment, that he hadn't even spared a second thought for the tiny slip. He and Hau were in his office, pouring over maps, sifting through old correspondence and reports. A few days ago, Azula said that Ursa and Na had been lovers, but before that, they'd been best friends since childhood and had stuck together through all hardship. He'd asked Iroh about Lily of the Valley, and of course Na's name had come up, but he'd been so preoccupied with other things that he didn't make the connection as quickly as he should have.

"Found it!" Zuko held up the tiny paper in triumph, while Hau leaned on the edge of his desk.

"Well?" There was undisguised excitement in the older man's voice.

_Little Duck,_

_I miss you and want to know if you've grown well. I hope you have. The lily fields deep in the valley are in bloom, and I was never able to show them to you. There is so much I was never able to show you and your sister. Bring your favorite hair pin, and I'll crown you with lilies like when you were my Little Duck._

_I'll be waiting where the sailors say the whales don't go. I am safe and well, little one. I'll be by the docks looking for your ship every day until you come back to me._

_I have always loved you, Little Duck._

_Na_

Little Duck. His mother had called him Little Duck until he was five and decided that he wanted to be something less cuddly. It was signed by Ursa's best friend, but the references… Lily of the valley, his favorite hair pin, being crowned with flowers, Whale Tail Island…

"Are you alright?"

Hau was guiding him to a chair, and Zuko was struggling to breathe.

He might have just found his mother.

* * *

><p>And so, the Southern Arc is drawing to a close. I do want to talk about the way people are receiving Zuko and Katara's relationship, but there's still a bit that comes up next chapter with Hakoda, and I don't want to spoil anything. So I'll just talk about Sokka. I can't imagine that, with the close relationship I imagine him having with Zuko, Sokka wouldn't suspect something. It wasn't until I was rereading one of my other stories where I noticed a throwaway line about Sokka noticing a change in Katara and Zuko, and then I decided to revisit the issue. When you care deeply for someone, little tokens of affection can't be concealed completely. Even if it's a smile, a simple touch, or the tone of your voice, there are bound to be signs everywhere. I think some members of the gaang would see them, and never take "We're just friends" as an answer. Others might choose to believe what Zuko and Katara say. We'll find out the rest of who falls where in that spectrum later. In my mind, everyone has had their moment of "are they, or aren't they?" doubt about the tomfoolery and shenanigans that go on between our lovely pair.<p>

Also, what's that I spy at the end of this chapter? Are we finally going to... :D


	16. Moment of Truth

Katara's brain failed her. Just when she needed it to work at its finest, it failed her. She stood in her room, struggling to decide what she needed to take. Clothes, she'd packed already. That made sense. That had been the easiest. Outside of that, she wasn't sure. Hell, she was having trouble _breathing_.

"Are you sure you don't want someone to come with you?" Hakoda asked, handing her the tanto knives Zuko had given her for her eighteenth birthday last year. It was the best gift she'd received.

Her father's voice brought Katara out of her stupor. She nodded emphatically and accepted the weapons. "No one else can afford to leave right now, Dad. We can't put off our duty." She started to put the weapons in her bag, but decided against it, strapping the belt around her waist.

"What if I just—"

"No, Aang. You are so very desperately needed in the Earth Kingdom right now."

Katara turned to Aang, his face a pure mask of rejection and sadness. Sokka and Suki stood in the doorway, and behind them Pakku and Gran. Zuko's letter had come early that morning, and sent them all into an excited flurry. He was pretty confident he knew where his mother was. Suki had run the whole way from the hawkery to their house, and read it out loud to them. It was Sokka who suggested that Katara be the one to go. If it couldn't be Zuko himself, he'd said, then the only other person it could be was Katara.

Another letter had come, too, only hours later, literally begging for Aang's presence in Ba Sing Se. There had been peaceful protests, but those peaceful protests weren't achieving the goals the citizens wanted. Now they'd 'laid siege to the palace.' It was hard to tell what the climate really was since the language was so obviously biased against those demanding answers. Sokka and Suki were immediately on standby to manage the South, just in case Hakoda should need to go to Ba Sing Se in a show of support with Kuei. Hopefully, if other leaders backed Kuei and showed the citizens of Ba Sing Se, and the Earth Kingdom in general, that they were committed to helping the recovery effort, it would instill some much needed confidence in the government's ability to get things done.

"Aang can at least swing by Whale Tail Island on the way to Ba Sing Se," Sokka said reasonably. "It'll give Appa a chance to rest, but Aang, if you try to hang around…"

Sokka tried to glare his meaning at Aang, but it was lacking the appropriate emotion. The angry death glare was Zuko's thing, as he said, and Sokka was best with his wit and sarcasm. Aang was a good kid, though, and he nodded, understanding the importance of being in Ba Sing Se. While the discovery of Ursa's most likely location was a huge personal development for them, they all needed to consider the state of their world. Ursa being returned to Zuko wouldn't mean anything if the world collapsed into another war.

"When do we leave?" Aang asked Katara, his face serious but eager.

"As soon as I'm done packing."

With help from the others, she was packed rather quickly, brain function slowly returning to her, but a desperate nervousness seated itself in the pit of her stomach.

"I know you'll be returning to the Fire Nation if you find Ursa," Hakoda said just before Katara and Aang took off. "I just… It's all a bit much, pup."

Katara chewed her lip nervously, twisting the ends of her shirt between her hands. Their conversation the night before had ended abruptly, and things had moved rather quickly afterward, not giving her another chance to speak with her father about it. Now, everything was out in the open, and Hakoda likely knew what would happen when she returned to the Fire Nation.

"He wouldn't propose without your permission," Katara said quietly, unable to look her father in the eyes. "I know this is all so sudden—"

"You two weren't as good at hiding as you thought you were," Hakoda said, smiling slightly. He put his hand on Katara's cheek. "It's the little things. Ancestors know I've had my suspicions, but this doesn't change the fact that you both lied. And that it hurts. I thought you could tell me anything."

Hakoda pulled Katara into a hug, and she held him as tightly as she could. He held onto her, that gesture conveying so much that his words weren't. Katara smiled against her father's shoulder, knowing that so much was out of her hands, now. The most she could do at this point was trust that she'd said enough, coherently enough, to convince her father that she knew what she was doing, that she loved Zuko with all of her heart, and there wasn't another guy she considered worthy of her hand. When Hakoda began pushing her back, Katara clung to her father's middle like she had when she was a kid.

"I can tell you lots of stuff," she said, looking into his eyes.

"But not anything." Hakoda sighed. "You're not my little girl anymore. You haven't been for a while. I didn't want to see that." He kissed her forehead. "You get going, now, pup. We'll talk more later."

.O.

Katara had never been nauseous while riding on Appa before, but the closer they got to Whale Tail Island, the sicker she became, and she was sure she'd throw up. It was a nervous excitement, possibly more nervous than excitement, and Katara tried to bend the clouds to keep her mind occupied. She was going to meet her future mother in law. If things went well. If her father didn't say no. If the universe managed to take pity on her.

"You ok back there?" Aang called from Appa's head.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just nervous."

What if Ursa didn't like her? What if she really had been brainwashed by Chem and thought Zuko was some kind of monster? Katara scoffed. No mother could believe that about her own child. Especially when those words came from someone like Chem. _Chem_ of all people.

Katara closed her eyes and took a deep breath, making her confidence return by sheer force of will. When she opened them again, Aang was climbing into Appa's saddle, his face scrunched with concern and nervousness.

"About last night—"

"Let's not talk about that," Katara said quickly, tugging at her hair and feeling the blood rush to her cheeks.

Aang's cheeks colored, too, and he fidgeted, and Katara hoped that he would just drop the matter and they could move past the awkwardness. Aang was simply a concerned friend; he never had any intention of intruding on a very private fantasy. There was no way he could have known the places her mind went to, and if anything, she should be the one apologizing to him. She was, after all, the one doing the groping.

"Katara I…" Aang's voice trailed off into the wind, the blush on his cheeks deepening before he looked away, his head hanging down, and a slight smile on his face.

Katara's heart was pounding so hard that she thought she'd pass out. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and tried to moisten her lips, but the wind only ripped that moisture away. Taking deep breaths, Katara closed her eyes and let the cool air wash over her. Aang was an essential part of her family, and she wouldn't be happy if things never recovered between the two of them.

"I… I'm sorry, Aang," she said, still keeping her distance, a new nervousness growing in the pit of her stomach. This would not be easy. This was not a task Katara was looking forward to. "We can just put the whole thing behind us."

Still looking away, still blushing, Aang nodded slowly, and Katara gripped the saddle, letting her eyes wander to the world below them, desperately searching for any sign of the island. There was no better and no worse time to tell Aang the truth. Depending on what was really happening in Ba Sing Se, Aang would need to be able to focus on fixing things there; the last thing he needed was to be worrying about romantic situations. But they were also alone. She could be honest with him in the same way she'd been honest with Sokka and her father. But to tell Aang would be to break his heart. She was everything he'd ever wanted, and he'd imagined her to be perfect in every way. It would shatter him to know the truth about her, and Aang had already suffered enough. His life wasn't his own anymore; the last thing she wanted to do was destroy relationships that he depended on for stability.

"Look! There it is!" Katara yelled, finally spotting Whale Tail Island coming up.

Rather than force herself to form those words her mouth refused to say, rather than give Aang the answers she knew he deserved, Katara brought about a definite end to their conversation. Aang had an important mission, and he needed to be focused; anything she told him at this point would be a distraction. And she didn't want to be trapped in such close quarters when they would both need their space.

Reluctantly, and with a look that Katara couldn't quite figure out, Aang returned to the reins and brought Appa in for the descent, and Katara clutched the edge of the saddle with white knuckles, her mind shifting gears. She really wished Zuko was there instead of her. It was only fair, but if it couldn't be Zuko, then it was best that it was her. Ursa would understand that he needed to stay in the Fire Nation. Katara just hoped that Chem wasn't there. She didn't want him ruining this moment, especially after he snuck in her head with his snide comments and his insults just when she wanted faith and love the most.

Appa landed in the water with a splash and a groan, swimming up to one of the docking bays intended for ships. People rushed over to greet them, and Aang hopped off Appa, his face solemn, but Katara stayed seated, not sure if her legs would work.

"Aren't you coming?"

Katara nodded, slowly pulling herself up and chuckling quietly. She was acting like she was meeting her own mother, back from the dead all these long years. Zuko told her once that it helped him feel better about his own loss to watch her take on Yon Rah. She hadn't understood how that could be at the time, but now, on the last leg of the journey to find Ursa, it finally made sense. She was feeling everything she imagined she would feel if she were in Zuko's place.

Aang was in front of her, his hand extended to help her out. She accepted his help, but when she moved to drop his hand, he held onto hers firmly, refusing to release it. Katara looked up at Aang, into large gray eyes that better fit his face now, into a face that was less round, and more adult. There was slight stubble on his chin, and with a wince, Katara realized that Aang shaved now; not just his head, but his chin, too. He wasn't twelve anymore. He was seventeen.

Awkwardly, Katara stepped away, shaking her hand so that Aang would let go, and she smiled at him, knowing it was strained, and that it looked strained. She slapped his shoulder like she'd seen Sokka and Zuko do, hoping to convey fondness and friendship, to show that there were no hard feelings, that they were two adults, and that they could be friends even after their failed attempts at a relationship.

"Well?" Aang asked, and Katara wasn't quite sure what he was referring to. He seemed to be waiting for her to say something, but she didn't know what he wanted to hear.

Briefly, Katara wondered if either her father or Sokka told him anything. Aang wasn't his usually cheery self, intense situations aside. He cocked his head to the side, and Katara forced the issue from her mind, digging Zuko's old hairpin that they found in the Phoenix Brigade prison out of her pocket and sticking it in her bun. This way, a little piece of him would be there. It was silly, she knew, but she could give him this.

She nodded toward the town center and began walking.

"Are you going to buy supplies?" Katara asked. "It'll be a while before you and Appa can restock."

"We _could_ stop at Chin Village," Aang said thoughtfully, falling into step with her. "But I should to get to Ba Sing Se as quickly as possible." He frowned. "I just hope things are alright. I'd hate to see everything we worked for just…crumble."

"I'm sure it's not as bad as it sounds," she said hopefully. "I'll stop by before I leave, ok?"

Katara nodded, and with a deep breath, pushed open the door to the inn.

.O.

Fei sat down to write a letter to Chem, explaining his lack of contact. He would tell Chem that he was back in the Fire Nation, which was true. He would tell Chem that he was just outside the gates of Ba Sing Se when the lockdown started, that he, among many others were turned back. Most importantly, he would tell Chem everything he wanted to hear about the Fire Lord. He would say that the Fire Lord purposefully delayed sending troops to Ba Sing Se with the intention of letting the city fall. That, when Ba Sing Se was on its knees and begging the Fire Nation for help, the Fire Lord would march in and declare martial law, taking control of the city in order to 'get it back on track.' Chem was fond of thinking the Fire Lord would restart the war. He would not question this information, and if he did, Chem had no way of checking Fei's sources.

Next, he would write a letter to the Fire Lord, encouraging the idea that Chem was intending to kill him. This would be the harder of the two tasks; he knew the Fire Lord to be working with Long, Inara, and Calla, specifically, but he did not know what they told him. He would need to trust what he knew of them. What the girl, Rue, thought didn't matter. If she was questioned about Chem's plot to kill the Fire Lord, she would give up nothing. She might make up details and help Fei's project along unknowingly.

Fei sighed. He'd buried good friends. He'd buried a cousin. Chem's willingness to sacrifice everyone but himself unnerved him. Fei hadn't been included in Chem's circle before Long and Inara split, and as such, he hadn't been privy to Chem's thoughts. Only a select few knew the details of Chem's plans, and even then, Fei doubted anyone knew everything. Fei was only been 'promoted' as a replacement tracker for Long, but the closer he got to Chem, the more he became terrified at how twisted the man had become. Each year, things seemed to get worse, and his hate deepened with little provocation and imagined wrongs. Fei believed there was something seriously wrong with Chem. Maybe the strain of the war had been too much for him. In his travels, Fei met refugees and survivors of one attack or another who just couldn't cope; the world, for them, was a very narrow place, and their paranoia made everyone an enemy, even those who were clearly trying to help.

When he first met Chem, Fei had wanted vengeance. He hadn't wanted to believe that his home—the people he loved and had sworn to protect as a part of the army—were the ones in the wrong, and to have his honor and his pride constantly maligned… Fei wanted to believe there was more that this new Fire Lord could be doing to protect his citizens, rather than looking elsewhere, making sure his people would never find peace. Chem knew all the right words to say to convince him to join this rebel cause. Chem had promises and connections, and he'd called Fei by name. He had every outward appearance of caring.

Then Fei had his eyes forcefully opened. More than anything else, it was the time he spent in the Fire Nation that made him realize the truth about Chem. When you spent so much time in war ravaged Earth Kingdom towns, and visited the Air Nomad temples with their burned walls and skeletons, it was too easy to get caught up in righteous anger and self hate. It was too easy to miss the positive in all the negativity floating around. Away from Chem in the outer islands, Fei heard people speaking of the improvement in their quality of life and the lower taxes. Some spoke of the ease of travel, how wonderful it had been for their businesses. Fei had seen the Fire Lord in the capitol as he defended Earth Kingdom refugees from a Fire Nation butcher who refused them service. He saw the way the citizens sided with their Fire Lord. He'd seen Fire Lord Zuko and Ambassador Katara holding hands, the look of pure happiness on their faces. He knew there was no way she would ever betray him. He knew that this man was different from his father and grandfather and great-grandfather. He knew that there was finally a chance for peace.

There was enough blame to go around for all the evil that had been done, but for the evil that could come, blame would lie with one man.

.O.

Katara walked the market. For the past two days, she had tried to make herself as visible as possible. She kept Zuko's hair pin in her hair, displaying it for anyone to see, and hopefully recognize. She also walked around with the Little Duck letter in her pocket. No one had approached her, and she didn't know who to approach. The letter mentioned a valley, but she'd just lumped that with the lily reference because she couldn't see any real valleys or large hills on Whale Tail Island.

"Excuse me, Miss," a woman said, tapping her on the shoulder. "That hair pin doesn't belong to you."

One hand went to her waterskin, and the other to a tanto knife as she turned around, eyeing the woman suspiciously.

"You've been watching me for a while, now."

"I'm looking for the owner of that pin," the woman said anxiously, a hopeful smile on her soft face. "Please, he has to be here."

"How do you know it's a he?" Katara's heart was pounding, hope rising in her heart, but she wasn't ready to give in to hope just yet. From the pictures, she knew this woman wasn't Ursa, and they'd run into traps before.

The woman smiled with a delighted, mischieveous twinkle in her eye. "Master Katara, we met once before, in a seedy bar in the Earth Kingdom," The woman whispered conspiratorally with a slight giggle in her voice. "I was helping you find Ursa. I told you about the scars, and Princess Jian—"

Katara gasped, stepping back and bumping into a man as her knees threatened to buckle.

"My cabbages!" The man was shaking his fist at Katara while he tried to right his stand. "Na, you better watch your guests!"

Katara almost collapsed again, tears already forming in her eyes. Na smiled brightly and grabbed Katara's arm, steering her away from the market and into the residential district.

"I'm sorry, we were never properly introduced before."

Na put her hands on Katara's shoulders. Katara smiled, then she squealed and threw her arms around Na. Ursa's best friend Na, and if Na was there, she had to be close to Ursa. They were so close. This was it. This was the end. The search was finally over. She tried to form words, to thank Na, to say how happy Zuko would be, but her mouth wouldn't work properly, and she felt so warm and happy and tingly, and so glad that it was her and not any of the others. What better gift could she give Zuko when she returned to the Fire Nation?

"Calm down," Na said pleasantly, laughing outright, now. She linked arms with Katara, and it was such a friendly gesture that Katara was crying all over again. Na pulled out a delicate cloth and dabbed at Katara's eyes. "Sorry, I couldn't resist teasing you a bit. Things can get _incredibly_ dull here. Anyway, we were looking for him to show. Or maybe the Avatar."

"We? Does that mean she's…she's actually here?"

"Of course," Na said, winking. "We're going to see her now. Unless you object, of course."

Katara hastily shook her head before Na even finished her sentence. She tried not to get too giddy and excited and start skipping down the street. Na found her enthusiasm exciting, laughing pleasantly and hurrying her pace. Then a thought hit Katara.

"Chem's not here, is he?"

"Oh _Agni_, no," Na said, shooing the idea and wrinkling her nose. "He hasn't made his way back yet. I was hoping to get Ursa away before he found us."

"I hate that man," Katara said lowly.

Na smiled and pulled Katara closer, slipping an arm around her waist. "You and I will get along just fine, dear."

They reached a comfortable house at the end of a street not far from the market, and Na opened the door and stepped in. Katara's heart was somewhere in her throat, and she gripped the doorjamb, feeling faint. Someone was humming, and Katara recognized that song _immediately_. Zuko had first hummed it to her so many years ago, when they were resting in a cave after he took her to face Yon Rah. He said it was the Love Theme to Love Amongst the Dragons. His mother's favorite play.

There was no real reason for Katara to get so emotional about this, but she was.

"We have a visitor," Na called out, pulling Katara into the house.

A woman entered the front room, wiping her hands on a towel, and it was the same face as the picture Zuko held so close to his heart. Katara did what Zuko had so much trouble doing—she looked for his features in this kind, warm face.

And she saw them.

His eyes were the same amber and often held the same kindness she saw looking at her just then. It wasn't the physical that connected them, but rather the intangibles, the warmth and the love, the way Ursa tilted her head to the side as she smiled softly. She was regal, even in Earth Kingdom greens, a Lady and a Princess. She practically glided across the floor, her shoulders back, her hair catching a tiny breeze. Katara was breathing quicker. She was so graceful, like he was graceful, and Katara covered her mouth, trying to stifle the tiny sobs that escaped.

"Oh…"

It was such a sad noise, and Ursa draped the towel over the back of a chair as she came toward Katara with her arms outstretched, the same way Zuko did when he wanted to comfort her. She gathered Katara in her arms, and it was the gentle touch of a mother as she guided Katara's head to her shoulder, and cooed at her. She'd forgotten what it felt like to have a mother comfort her. Gran tried her hardest, but there was something…different about this touch, something that connected them, something that said I am your mother and you are _my_ child and I will protect you.

"There, there, little one."

Katara only cried harder, and Ursa led her to the couch, where they sat down, and Katara lay her head in Ursa's lap. Ursa hummed again, that Love Theme, and it was sad and full of love, and Ursa stroked her hair and rubbed her shoulder and patted her back, and Katara knew why Zuko wanted her back so much. Her touch was so gentle and so warm and so loving, and it seeped into the core of her being, filling holes she had ceased to be conscious of.

When Katara sat up, having exhausted herself, Ursa took her face in her hands, and used her thumbs to wipe away the remaining tears.

"Now," Ursa said, smiling. "Na tells me you are to be our guest. I'm Ursa. And you are?"

"Katara. From the Southern Water Tribe."

"Katara. That's a beautiful…name…"

The smile slipped from Ursa's face as realization hit her. Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. The Avatar's waterbending teacher. Legendary best friend of the Fire Lord.

"Great sages…" Ursa's hands went to her mouth, and when she removed them, it was to pull Katara into a big hug. "Great sages."

Na had slipped away unnoticed by the two, and for the longest, they sat on the couch, hugging. Katara decided this qualified for one of the nicest feelings she'd ever felt, and was fine if the hug never ended. It was odd that Ursa was such a touchy person, given the way most others in the Fire Nation were. It was no surprise that Zuko turned out to be such a cuddle monster.

"He hasn't given me up for dead, then?" Ursa asked, moving to take Katara's hands. "It's been so long since I'd heard anything from the Fire Nation. I was afraid that he stopped searching…"

"No. Never. We've been looking _everywhere_ for you for the past five years. He's only recently put out word that he's given you up for dead, but that was so we could work around Chem."

"Chem?" Ursa sounded alarmed. "Why would Chem try to keep me from my own son?"

"Actually, that's not a pleasant story, and I'd rather not ruin this moment by talking about that just yet."

Katara watched as a few distinct, and not exactly happy, emotions played across Ursa's face. Most notable was the flash of anger before the return to calm. Ursa smiled.

"Yes, let's focus on good things."

Na came into the room then, carrying a tray with tea. "Now, I'm sure this isn't as good as you're used to, but it's tea, and it's a little more than hot leaf juice."

"Tell me," Ursa said, turning to Katara as Na sat the tray on the table, "does he still dislike tea?"

Katara smiled. "He used to call it hot leaf juice, too, but when he worked with Uncle at the Jasmine Dragon in Ba Sing Se, he had no choice. His tea's not as good as Iroh's, but he makes a pretty good cup." Katara smiled fondly. "He's developed an appreciation for tea."

"You call Iroh, Uncle?"

Katara nodded. "We all do. He's kind of taken everyone in. Just like my grandmother has everyone calling her Gran Gran."

"It's good that he has a family, then," Ursa said, looking into her tea. "You know, I was in Ba Sing Se, and I heard about the Jasmine Dragon. I spent an entire week debating whether I should visit Iroh or not."

Na rolled her eyes. "I swear, for all the things she's done, she's such a possum chicken sometimes."

Katara watched the two women share playful shoves. She blinked a few times, just to be sure she was seeing two women in their forties act like teenagers. She was. They were. And it was comforting.

"Why didn't you go?" she asked. "Uncle would have loved it."

"There were still…things I needed to take care of. A few gifts I had to give."

Katara waited for Ursa to elaborate, but she didn't, instead taking a sip of her tea. Katara blinked a few times as she looked at Ursa, not quite sure that the flash of heat she saw in the older woman's eyes was real. From what Zuko told her about his mother's past, Ursa had been a serious schemer, but it was very hard to reconcile that with the kind, smiling, playful woman in front of her. That _she_ had poisoned five men in front of Fire Lord Azulon, that _she_ had been responsible for Ozai staying off the throne, and finally for his ascention… It was hard to see that woman in front of her.

"Let's cut to the chase," Na said, rubbing her hands together. "Is he handsome like his father?"

"Na, please." Ursa clucked her tongue and pinched Na's leg.

Katara snapped her head to look at Na, her cup frozen halfway to her gaping mouth. She blinked dumbly at the women. Maybe Na hadn't heard about Ozai and all the unfortivable things he did to his children. His own flesh and blood.

"I'm sorry," Katara started, a far more coldly than she'd intended, "but Ozai _burned his son_. There is no way I could ever find that man attractive."

The two were quiet, and after a measure, Ursa put her hand on Katara's knee.

"Things were different for us when we were your age. Ozai was foul, but still quite malleable. I was given no choice in my marriage. There was no refusing Azulon. I was lucky that Ozai was at the very _least_ good looking. He was nice to look at while I ignored the words coming out of his mouth. Na, was not as lucky as I was."

A soft smile played on her features, and Katara decided that Ursa was a stunning woman. In the face of that warm, inviting smile, Katara felt her anger and indignation recede. She finished her tea before answering, and sat the cup on the low table.

"But yes," Katara said, finding herself unable to look in Ursa's eyes as she said it. "Zuko…is quite handsome."

"Well, well," Na teased. "Do tell."

It was so strange to be sitting in the living room, gossiping about Zuko with his mother and her best friend. Katara blushed and refused to look at Na, who was raising an eyebrow at her questioningly. Ursa only smiled, a twikle in her eyes, but she made no move to push it out of her like Na was doing. There was a look about Ursa that said she knew Katara would tell sooner or later. All she had to do was wait. Which was probably true, and Katara would probably tell sooner rather than later. Her plan was all shot to hell anyway.

"Zuko has the absolute worst obsession with those stupid custard desserts. I intend to break him of it. Or at least to keep him from eating them at breakfast, and at the very, very least, to eat something besides seal jerky and dessert." Katara nodded. That ought to take a lot of the attention away from the 'her and Zuko' topic.

Ursa laughed, covering her mouth. "I have the most _adorable_ story to tell you about Zuko and those desserts. You can forget about trying to get him away from them. We were preparing for a state dinner, and the custard was _supposed_ to be the dessert. Well, Zuko, he was four then, decides he can't wait until after dinner, and he goes down to the kitchens and he starts eating the filling. Then he falls in."

Oh, Katara was _loving_ this.

"It was a pain to get him into his formal wear to begin with," Ursa continued. "Iroh found him, and called me to the kitchens, and there he is, covered from head to toe in custard filling, eating if off his fingers, without a care in the world."

Katara was loving this _so much_.

* * *

><p>:D Yaaaaaay! Ursa's here! This is, quite truly, the moment of truth, and in more ways than one. First, with Katara and Aang: there was some confusion last chapter about just who was groping whom, and I added the scene between them on Appa to clarifty that. Aang heard Katara moaning, and entered her room to check on her. He sat on her bed, and was shaking his shoulder. In her half sleep haze, Katara thought it was Zuko, and was having a naughty moment in her head. It was her hands down her pants and her hand groping Aang. This actually gave me room to plant the seeds to another important part of the Zutaraang love triangle part of the plot. There'll be more on that later. Also, keep in mind that this is from Katara's POV ;) Then there's the KataraHakoda moment of truth. In my little head canon, everyone's had that moment where they look at Katara and Zuko and go, "are they or aren't they?" Everyone. No exception. Some people, like Hakoda, are obviously going to take their word for it when they say that they're just friends. That doesn't mean that Hakoda still didn't see things that made him wonder. Then there are people like Iroh, who just wouldn't take no for an answer. Even if they really _were_ just friends, I think Iroh might insist that there's something more, there.

And Chem. Our lovely, delusional, maniac. When the hammer comes down, it'll come down :D

I want to give a big thanks to all you lovely readers and reviewers. You make everything worth it, and I hope this story is living up to your expectations. We've still got quite a way to go before we get to the end, but I hope it's satisfying for you. And big thanks to **Masayume **for looking over the Aang/Katara scene for me. You helped make that scene as effective as it is..._sweetie_ XD. Anyway, enjoy!


	17. The Bad Seed

Today was the day they would talk about Chem. The past two days had been filled with endless Zuko conversation. About how strong he'd become, how fair he was trying to be as Fire Lord, how dedicated, and how Katara had to practically hover to make sure he would take care of himself and not just the nation. Katara talked about what a great sparring partner he was, and how he never treated her like glass, and that he was still learning it was ok to ask for help, though he'd gotten better about it. How kind he was, how nice his true smile and his laugh, even though they were rare. How she was the only one who consistently got Zuko smiles. How highly people thought of him in the capitol, and how it wasn't a surprise to see him walking around the market district. He'd protected a family of Earth Kingdom refugees from unfair treatment, and he could be all domineering and Fire Lordy, and people would know not to mess with him, because there'd be hell to pay. But he also loved his turtleducks, and when he needed a break, he could always be found there, and sometimes he and Katara would just sit, and not talk, and all would be right with the world.

In short, she'd blathered for two days about him. But it wasn't her fault. Ursa and Na asked.

Now, Katara was in the kitchen preparing lunch. Having been raised with servants, neither Na nor Ursa knew how to cook beyond the basics, and even that was straining their ability to not poison themselves. Mostly, they bought their meals from a restaurant, but Katara insisted that they have a proper home cooked meal. It gave her something to do while she tried to focus her thoughts about Chem and collect her courage. She took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, bringing forth coherent arguments and necessary questions.

"What was Chem like when he worked for you at the palace?" Katara asked nervously.

Ursa sighed as she dried the dishes. "He was loyal. Very loyal. I could depend on him for any task, and he would perform it without a thought to his safety. I trusted him to keep my secrets, and so far, he has."

Ursa frowned as she put a few plates in the cupboard, taking her time to think over her words. Katara's heart was pounding in her chest, anticipation making her slightly impatient.

"The question you mean to ask," Ursa said, turning to Katara, "is what he was like after we were banished."

She stared at Katara for a long moment, and Katara tried not to shift under Ursa's gaze. She held it for as long as she could, but there was something floating past in Ursa's mind. Regrets, perhaps, or things she'd rather forget. Her voice had been level and conversational, but the knuckles of the hand gripping the dish towel had gone white. It was weird to see the disconnect there, but Katara had noticed it once before, when Chem was mentioned. It had an oddly chilling effect, and Katara gripped the handle on the cleaver tighter as she chopped vegetables.

"I admit that I became dependent on Chem. I did not question his methods or how he made the connections he did." Ursa sighed. "It was in my best interest, for my peace of mind, to believe that there were certain things Chem _would not_ do. In the earliest years, my main concern was staying out of Ozai's reach, and Chem did that. Mostly. But I will not fault him for that. He was only one man against many."

"What I don't get," Katara said as she tossed the cabbage in the wok, "is why Ozai would banish you, then try to bring you back. I know Chem said you wouldn't tell us, but—"

"Chem can hardly claim to know what I would or would not allow when he hasn't spoken to me in close to three years. Make no mistake: his words are not my words."

Katara let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Thinking about Chem meant thinking about the things he believed about Zuko. She'd spared time to think about what she would do, what Zuko would do, if Ursa did believe the things Chem said. It was a strong comfort to know that they hadn't had any contact at all, and that Ursa made such a strong distinction between herself and her henchman.

"It's a great relief for you to hear these words, hm, little duck?" Ursa returned to drying and putting away the dishes as if no dark mood had ever crossed her.

"The things he says…" Katara brought the cleaver down on that poor unsuspecting piece of duck as if she intended to cleave the entire counter in half.

"I never asked you when you met Chem." Ursa was eyeing the knife in Katara's hands suspiciously.

Chem was going around spewing his violent, hateful thoughts, wrinkling his nose in disdain at people. Butting in where he had no business, assuming things as true when they were nothing more than rumors. Chem's foolishness had cost forty five of his own people their lives. Long and Inara told her about all the ways he referred to Zuko. Degenerate. Filth. Beast. Boy. Treacherous bastard. _Ozai's_ child. Katara threw the meat into the wok as if it was roasting Chem himself.

"Katara?"

Ursa's voice was like balm on a burn, cool and soothing. She placed her hand on Katara's arm, gently squeezing, and when she let go, the tension eased out of Katara.

Katara took another deep breath, calming herself. "Zuko and I ran into Chem at the Phoenix Brigade prison—"

Ursa dropped the dish she was holding, and it shattered when it hit the ground. Na came running, asking if everything was alright, and when she saw Ursa standing so still, shocked, and confused, she tried to guide Ursa to a chair.

"You weren't supposed to be there," Ursa said firmly, shaking off Na. "You weren't… You didn't get hurt did you? You or Zuko? Great Agni, please—"

Katara returned to the food. Spooning it out into bowls. She waited until all the food was on the table before she answered, needing time to organize her thoughts. Ursa had known about the Phoenix Brigade prison. She'd sent Chem, but they hadn't been in contact? Katara sighed. She shouldn't jump to conclusions. Then she'd be Chem. Really, they should just make "Chem" into an adjective. Don't chem this up. You're chemming if you don't give her a chance to explain herself. Zuko could use it in place of his favorite curses. Chem you! I'm the chemming Fire Lord! Take that chem somewhere else, because I don't want to hear it.

"It was nothing worse than anything that happened during the war," Katara said, struggling to keep her voice level. "Chem insulted my intelligence by thinking I'd turn my back on Zuko and side with him. That I would _spy_ on Zuko… I never took his words seriously."

She wouldn't mention that Chem had been partially right about some of those things. The three sat down to their lunch, and even the satisfying taste of the food couldn't overcome the heavy atmosphere. The blanket of their conversation hovered over them, shifting their emotions quickly, between anger and disbelief and hope and sadness.

"Please," Katara said after a while. "Help me understand."

"When I first separated from Chem, it was no accident. Shortly after the coup in Ba Sing Se during the war… When I saw my _children_ riding under Ozai's flag…" Ursa paused, pushing the food around her bowl. "I felt like I failed them. It made me feel that I've been powerless all along. I hadn't been able to save them from Ozai, and it crushed me. I just needed to get away from it all, and then I heard about the burning of the lotus lily fields in Kirachu where I grew up…"

Ursa recounted for them how she left one night, not taking anything more than the clothes on her back and travelled the Earth Kingdom. Slowly, her anger began to fade at Ursa's words, and Katara found herself wanting to offer comfort for the pain Ursa voiced. When Ursa mentioned that she'd worked in various healing houses, and Katara perked up, offering that she was a healer, too. Ursa smiled sadly.

"I was given a job because I know poisons and their antidotes."

"Poisons can be used to heal, too," Katara said defensively. Then she remembered what Zuko told her about Ursa poisoning the men who'd attacked her. "Wait a minute, you never told me why Ozai decided he wanted you back if he banished you in the first place. I mean, if you were going to tell me, that is." Katara winced, embarrassed.

Ursa smiled sweetly, that disconnect evident again. "I know all his secrets and the truths behind his lies. It's dangerous to let someone like that roam free. All it would take would be one whisper, and that iron grasp he worked so hard to maintain over everyone would rust through, and his enemies would turn the vice on him."

Katara nodded. "That makes sense. Chem thinks as much."

"Well, he's not as dumb as he looks, then," Na said, feigning surprise. "I'd always pegged that one—"

"Na." A single word of warning, like a steel barb through the gut. Na held up her hands, surrendering.

"I wouldn't say he was stupid. He's manipulative. Very much so," Katara said, thoughtfully. "You sent him to the Phoenix Brigade. Why?"

"Taking out cells of Ozai supporters has been my gift to Zuko. I will not pretend that it hasn't also kept me safe by reducing the number of people looking for me, but mostly I have wanted to give something to my son." Ursa ran her fingers along the edge of the table, then looked at Katara. "I was never in that prison. If Chem believes he is saving me, he will fight with more…enthusiasm than if I am by his side."

"Have you ever questioned how he manages to get these things done?" Katara asked quietly.

She was torn between being amused that Chem was a pawn and didn't even know it, and feeling betrayed that she and Zuko had been caught in Ursa's poly. Even though Zuko shared his parents' story with her, Katara couldn't help feeling that this woman in front of her was very different from everything she'd been told. She suppressed that pang and a thought that whispered about Zuko's possible disappointment. He had such an ideal about his mother, and there was a very real chance that the ideal could come crashing hard against the real.

"Not much," Na cut in before Ursa had the chance to say anything.

"_You_ are insufferable," Ursa said with a smile.

"And you love me for it." Na pet Ursa cheek affectionately, and ever so slightly, Ursa leaned into the touch.

"Yes, well, Chem has an army," Katara said, cutting them off, annoyance flaring again. "_That's_ how he took out the Phoenix Brigade."

All lightness flew out the window.

"Dammit!" Na slammed her hands on the table. "I knew it. I _knew_ we shouldn't—"

"What's done is done. Who does Chem's army fight for?"

Ursa was slowly shaking her head, her mouth a tight line of fury, her brows furrowed, her face for once matching the tone of her voice.

Katara took supreme satisfaction in this. "He says they fight under your name, but it's clear that they fight for Chem and his twisted goals. Many of them couldn't even pick you out of a crowd."

Katara spent the rest of the meal recounting what she knew of Chem's army, but more importantly of his beliefs and accusations. Ursa's nostrils flared and she gripped the edge of the table, but she didn't back away. Only once did she look away, when Katara told her some of the names Chem called Zuko. Na sat with her mouth hanging open, unable to believe how twisted Chem had become, before finally dropping her head in her hands.

"You were right," Ursa said, her voice and her body like steel, when Katara ran out of things to say. "This was not a pleasant conversation to have."

.O.

Chem tried not to run. It would not be dignified to come running to the Lady Mother like a dog, but it was hard for him to contain his excitement. He'd been afraid for her safety, even though he told others that he was sure she was in the safe hands of her friends. But like always, they found their way back to each other. They needed each other. This was the established order of the world.

The house at the end of the street was modest. It was comfortable and unassuming. It wouldn't draw too much attention to her, which was good. Too much attention had never been good for them. They travelled under the assumption that, even though Ozai was imprisoned, he still had supporters, and those supporters were looking for Ursa. Ursa had supporters, too. _He_ was her supporter. With a deep breath, he knocked on the door, and waited.

He didn't have to wait long before she answered the door. The Lady Mother _herself_ came to the door, and Chem's breath caught in his throat, and his hands shook inside their sleeves. It would be improper for him to embrace her, no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her head to his shoulder, to feel her pressed against him and to be able to whisper to her that everything would be fine again. He wanted to smell the lilies and the rain that always hung about her, comforting reminders of their home before it was tarnished; he wanted to promise to protect her like he had when she was young and in need of protecting. She might have aged, but he knew that her heart was far too kind, her nature too trusting. Her banishment had broken her; he'd seen her tears and had been able to comfort her and his friendly and often paternal presence had been greatly appreciated. Had been needed.

He bowed instead, legs shaking and tears stinging his eyes, the gesture not enough to convey the sheer amount of relief he felt at seeing her alive and well, radiant and beautiful as she always was. His was the emotion of a proud father seeing his daughter again for the first time in too many years.

"My lady…"

But her face was harsh—cold and unforgiving, a look she generally saved for her enemies, those who had caused her great harm and torment. He'd seen that look when he was forced to see her in the hands of her tormentors. He'd seen that look when she regarded Ozai. He'd seen that look turned on so many others, but never before had this anger been turned on him. This was not the reception Chem had imagined.

"Inside."

A command; he obeyed. The door closed softly behind him, belying the hostile atmosphere inside the house. Her distance put Chem on guard, and he considered that the Lady Mother might not be as free as she looked. As she gestured him toward the kitchen, where a teapot sat waiting on the table, he scanned the area, checking to be sure that there were no hidden captors. He saw no one, but this did not relax his heart.

"My lady was expecting me?"

"Sit."

Perhaps she had not escaped as unharmed as he had believed. He sat and waited for her to ask of him what she would. He had answers, and she had questions. She did not immediately sit; rather she stood behind her chair and regarded him through narrowed eyes. Her knuckles were white where they gripped the chair. Gracefully, she pulled it out and sat down, her hands folded in her lap.

"I would, ideally, like to give you the chance to explain yourself. To hear what arguments you would give for your actions." Her voice was level; not entirely emotionless, but betraying no hint of the rage that twisted her face. "However, I have my doubts as to your ability to see the truth anymore."

Where had that come from? Never before had she questioned whether he was lying to her. He had never told her any lies, and had no intention to begin doing so. There must be someone else, whispering vile things in her ear. He frowned. There were very few people he knew who would say such things about him, and he did not like those possibilities at all. Could it be that the Fire Lord hadn't given her up for dead, then? But if he managed to get to the Lady Mother first, then surely they would have returned immediately to the capitol.

"Whatever my lady would ask of me, I will respond as truthfully as I always have." Chem frowned, bowing his head to her. "You have my word that I have never told you a single lie."

"Yes," she said, nodding. "Except it is your word I can no longer trust. Tell me about this army of yours, Chem."

Chem started. "Who told you I…" He stopped himself. It was not his place to question her. "Forgive me, I have forgotten myself," he said, his head bowed.

He gripped the fabric of his sleeves, the anxious knot in his stomach uncoiling and transforming into the beginnings of anger. He knew these could not be words belonging to his lady, the one he'd served from the beginning. Not _his_ lady, the one whom he'd protected for so many years. It could not be his lady who was speaking to him the same way she'd spoken to _Ozai_.

"It would seem you have forgotten _more_ than yourself. You raised an army to march against _my son_," she said, her voice pure venom. "Your Fire Lord and sovereign."

So this was it, then. "If my lady will allow me this one question… Who from his court has contacted you?"

"Katara. She is here."

Chem schooled his anger, did his best not to show anything beyond flared nostrils and a tight mouth, because she was to have been his greatest ally. He had worked with the waterbender, told her some of his secrets, shared the hunt for his lady… This was injustice at its height. Chem could not trust any of them, and he could not fight against the rising tide inside him, giving in and slamming his hands on the table, standing so quickly that he overturned his chair. He breathed heavily. She would not… He was a fool. It was too late to save the waterbender, and he had been a fool for trying.

"My lady, it is not safe here. You cannot trust the things she says. She has been brainwashed by that…" He attempted to calm himself, but a desperate urgency was rising in him. "She is so desperately in love with…_him_…that she has clearly abandoned all reason—"

"Does this distasteful 'him' of yours refer to my son?"

Chem started to sink slowly down before he remembered that his chair had been knocked over, and nothing would support him. That damn waterbender was the reason for the poison in the Lady Mother's voice. Yes, she was still held captive, only this time she did not oppose her captors. He started to speak several times, but his voice failed him and cold ice crept into his heart. What had he done in his life that the spirits decided to make a mockery of everything he'd accomplished? He had overcome such great odds before, and he would do his best to save his lady, because that Burden of Protection demanded he did. He would _not_ fail.

"I have always served you—"

"She tells me the things you call him. The things you believe about him. How you have ignored evidence to the contrary, how you have ignored people in your own _army_, simply to further your own belief." She spit the word army as if it was a curse.

"My lady does not understand that her son is not the boy she remembers. The years have twisted him—"

"As they have twisted you."

She did _not_ speak this way with him. She had always been kind. She had always turned to him when she was in trouble and needed help. He had to make her see that this was a dangerous path, that she would be hurt again to see what he had become. It was of the utmost importance that she understand that her son had been too long without her influence, and was as much Ozai's child as Azula was. He could not be kind with her anymore.

"Your heart is too soft, my lady. Your love for your children is the unconditional, undying love of a mother who would see only the good in them. This man you refer to as your son participated in the coup that brought down Ba Sing Se. You saw him with your own eyes, riding through the streets under Ozai's banner. And yes, he may have turned to the Avatar, but even these actions are brought into question by his behavior after he was crowned."

"You believe that he has other motives for helping bring peace to the world?" Ursa raised an eyebrow, an amused smile on her face, as if she were humoring a child who did not understand the conversation.

"You flat out refuse to understand the gravity of the circumstances! My lady."

"Tell me these circumstances, Chem. I am very interested to hear your theory."

Theory. She was goading him on purpose, like this was some court game where she had already caught the speaker in a lie, and was now waiting for them to accidentally spill the truth. Anger was lack of control. That treacherous waterbending _bitch_ must have been very convincing in order to make the Lady Mother question her oldest friend. He stood straight, smoothing his robes, then righted the chair and sat down. Chem shoved his hands inside his sleeves and took calming breaths. He would not give in to anger. Logic was needed. She would see logic. She would understand logic.

"The information I've gathered goes beyond theory, my lady. It would appear the waterbender has gained…other…skills during her time with the Fire Lord, and she has been using them to manipulate you. She is a passionate young woman, and has learned to use her words and her wit to her advantage."

The Lady Mother made a surprised face, gesturing for him to continue.

"He has turned away from his nation, putting others before us. It is just as things were under Fire Lord Azulon. Colonies have not been returned their governments, and war criminals are protected, retaining their positions on his council. When nations and cities ask for money, they are systematically denied. He may have told his…Master Katara that this is the work of the council, but he is Fire Lord. The council would act on his order, as they have always acted on the order of the Fire Lord."

"Speak more to me about him turning away from his nation, Chem. I wasn't aware that you'd been back to the Fire Nation since our banishment."

Chem paled. The Lady Mother's eyes flicked to the doorway, but he didn't have the luxury of looking away from her. She was scrutinizing him in a way she never had before. This was a look she had learned from Azulon. Chem remembered the way Azulon's eyes were always on her, searching for the slightest hint that she might betray the royal family. Azulon had watched her discomfort and smiled, and now it was that same deep, penetrating look the Lady Mother was turning on him. He felt exposed under it. There was no way to hide, and Chem would not turn away. Let her search him and let her see that he was still hers to command if only she would break away from the Fire Lord and the waterbender. If only she would listen and not give in to foolish notions that the havoc Sozin brought on his family for three generations could be undone in _months_.

"Where are our old traditions, my lady?" he asked, leaning across the table. "The things Azulon began taking away, the things Ozai _squashed_? Why haven't our flower fields been replanted and the festivals started again? Each island had an individual culture that was stripped from them as they were forced into the blandness that had become the capitol. Why have these things not been returned?"

"And what of my daughter?" Her smile faded away, replaced again by an anger that didn't show in her voice.

"They say she is insane, but this is a lie. One does not become insane overnight. You saw her on that komodo rhino as she rode through the streets of Ba Sing Se. There was a cold clarity in her eyes. No one will convince me that months later she was so completely insane that she needed to be hospitalized. No, it was likely that bastard has been keeping her drugged so that she cannot challenge his authority—"

A sharp something lashed out and licked the back of his neck. Chem fell from his chair, screaming, reaching behind him. Blood. He was bleeding. Shock sent him shaking, and he looked frantically for his attacker.

"I've had enough of you!" The waterbender strode forward. "I…I can't stand by and listen to you berate both Zuko _and_ Azula. You have no idea what you're talking about."

She wasn't as good at containing her anger as the Lady Mother, and her fists were clenched at her sides. There was such hatred present in her eyes that Chem was sure her look alone was taking years off his life. The Lady Mother smiled. She _smiled_.

"In your chair, Chem," she said pleasantly as she stood. "We should have some tea."

Chem gave in to a guttural roar, pounding his fists on the floor. He'd lost his lady to the degenerate lover of the degenerate Fire Lord. His Burden of Protection had just doubled in size, pressing him against the floor. It was madness that she should believe someone she just met over him. He, who had been with her from the beginning; he, who had served her family for years before he served her. He, who had protected her at the palace, and after the palace, when it seemed the spirits themselves were out to punish her. Him… He had been the only one to look out for her, and now she betrayed him. So easily, she betrayed him.

"In your chair, Chem."

She was looking down at him, a sinister smile on her face. The subordinate in him reacted against his indignation and his anger and his pain, and he pulled himself from the floor and into his vacated chair. He threw a few sideways glances at the waterbender, who held her ground, refusing to move. He laughed bitterly. So now he was the prisoner. It had been a poor decision to retrieve his lady without some backup. He'd been swayed by her handwriting; if she was writing to him personally, then surely there would be no reason for him to fear.

She was gone only a few moments, returning with some plants, which she began to crush in preparation for tea. Chem watched her carefully, fully knowing what she was capable of doing. He'd been there. The plants she'd brought were mint, he knew that much, and mint was not poisonous.

"Would you join us, little duck?" she said to the waterbender.

Chem hated the pleasant, conversational tone, the tone that a _mother_ used with her _child_. It disgusted him and he wrinkled his nose, gripping his seat and digging his nails into the wood. He did not disguise his look when the Lady Mother turned her eyes on him. He would need to form a new plan. His greatest tool had been lost to him; without the waterbender on his side, the Fire Lord would remain unchecked, and now he didn't even have the Lady Mother to use as a trump card.

"Tell me, girl—"

"Address her as is befitting a woman of her station," the Lady Mother said, her voice sharp.

Chem bowed his head only slightly. He dug his nails further into the wood, knowing he would be outmatched should he physically lash out. He would make them pay. He would make this bitch of a waterbending degenerate peasant traitor pay.

"Forgive me, my lady, but I do not know what her station _is_, other than the _whore_ of the Fire Lord."

The waterbender was about to retaliate, but the Lady Mother placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. The teapot screeched, and the she began pouring into three cups.

"Katara tells me that you have claimed to know my heart and my mind on many occasions, and the more she spoke of your beliefs, the more it became clear to me that you never had a firm grasp on anything I've said. I have been angry at Ozai, yes. I have been disappointed in both of my children, but never once did I feel that they were beyond hope. Katara has filled in gaps for me that you couldn't possibly know. You took so few words and turned them into so many twisted falsehoods."

She pushed a cup toward Chem, and he accepted, blowing on the steaming liquid. He stewed in his anger, plotting and knowing he would have to wait and watch.

"I do not believe that Azula's madness happened overnight. You are somewhat correct in this. But traumatic events… Well, those have a way of unhinging us. And while you were desperately listening only to me, I listened to the voices of others. _So many_ praise Zuko. So many have good things to say about him. You forget that even Whale Tail Island had been conquered by the Fire Nation. The people here have found great benefit to remaining a Fire Nation territory."

Chem sipped the tea, closing his eyes briefly as it soothed him from the inside out. Mint was always calming, and he felt the passageways in his body open. He would have full control of his wits again, and he would be able to assess whether the Lady Mother was too far gone to be recovered, though his gut was telling him that she was. He did not know how long the waterbender had been there, and if it had been too long, he would have to give her up as lost to him forever.

"Life under Ozai was harsh, yes, but under Fire Lord Zuko, Whale Tail Island has been treated kindly. They would not be eligible for this aid you say is systematically denied them should they demand sovereignty. Were you aware that last year, the crops did not come in as well as they should have? Did you know that Fire Lord Zuko, my son, the man you would label a bastard and a degenerate and a _beast_, sent them food? That he takes care of them as a _proper_ colony?"

Her voice was rising now, and Chem was beginning to feel hot. He dabbed at his upper lip with the sleeve of his shirt, but as soon as the moisture was removed, it came back, doubled. With a hand over his chest, he felt at his heart. It was beating too quickly, and now his throat was beginning to close. He dropped the cup, grasping the edge of the table, gasping for air. She wouldn't. She _wouldn't_. Not him. It was impossible that he could fall for the same trick. Mint was not poisonous, and he was absolutely sure it was mint. He could smell it.

The Lady Mother and that stupid mongrel of a fire loving, waterbending cretin sipped their tea calmly until their cups were empty. They ignored the foam that was coming out of his mouth. His vision blurred and swam in turns, and he clawed at his throat, desperate for a way to relieve the tension and get air to his lungs. The sun was setting, bathing the kitchen in a red light. The women stood, and headed to the door.

"You have forgotten your place, Chem. You have forgotten your mission, and you have become enamored with power. You have let your hate and your anger fester, and in festering, it has twisted and blackened not only your heart, but your mind.''

Ursa—because she could no longer be the Lady Mother to him, not after such betrayal—knelt next to him where he'd fallen on the floor, his body numb. His limbs moved, but he could not feel them, could not control them. He was only aware of them because they swung, from time to time, into his dwindling field of vision.

"You will suffer tonight as you have never suffered before. Perhaps in the morning you will again seek perspective."

* * *

><p>Return of the batshit man. But I know this chapter will make many of you happy. I also wanted to introduce another concept that plays a heavy part in anything I write: no one is perfect, even Ursa. Only flawed characters are interesting to read, and even the villains are human...unless, of course, they're something like aliens, or whatever, but that's not the case here. The part of Chem that wants to protect Ursa is in the right place, just like the part of Ursa that wants to take down Ozai supporters means well. But something always goes wrong. It's the law of drama. I like Ursa as a scheming woman. I don't imagine you'd live among Azulon, Iroh (pre-Ba Sing Se), and Ozai and <em>not<em> scheme. Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm rambling about in this author's note. So, yeah. I'll just stop. Just know that the shit hit the fan. For real.


	18. Into Your Arms

Katara was sad to hear that Na was not coming with them to the Fire Nation. She'd laughed and kissed Katara's cheeks and told her she had a family that needed her back. Helping Ursa was always her little vacation, and now, as all vacations must, this one had come to an end.

"I'll come by and visit sometime," she promised, pulling Katara into a tight hug. "I still have to meet Ursa's children. It's only fair since she met mine."

Katara stepped back so Ursa could hug Na. The two women embraced for a very long time, and they whispered words to each other that Katara didn't catch, but they must have been promises because one or the other kept saying, 'I promise, I promise.' When they stepped apart, they held hands.

"Are you going to come to Vesta's wedding?" Na asked.

"I'll try my hardest."

"Bring those handsome children of yours and we'll see what we can do," Na said with a smile and a wink in Katara's direction.

"I'm pretty sure Zuko is taken," Ursa said in a mock whisper.

The two laughed together, and when the captain gave last call, Ursa pulled Na close one last time. Then she kissed her sweetly, before resting her head on Na's shoulder. Na wrapped her arms around Ursa's waist tightly, then kissed her friend's forehead.

"Go on," Na said, gently pushing Ursa away, her face sad, but her eyes dry. "It's about time you made your way back to them."

"It is," Ursa agreed with a nod.

For the first time, Ursa refused to make eye contact with anyone, and her voice wavered. Instead, her eyes were fixed on her feet. Katara stepped forward, her own maternal streak pushing her to offer comfort and find the source of the pain, but Na was already filling in that gap. Her mouth moved, but her voice was so soft that Katara couldn't hear the words. Whatever Na said made Ursa smile slightly. The two held hands for as long as their reach would allow without straining, and they slowly let their hands drop. It was like they were saying a final goodbye, despite having just made plans to see each other again.

.O.

Ursa was humming a melancholy tune and brushing Katara's hair in their room on the ship. Her fingers moved deftly as they knotted and braided, coaxing Katara's thick curls into an elaborate style like the one Ursa said she'd worn when she was Katara's age.

"Are you excited to finally be going home?" Katara asked, watching Ursa in the mirror.

"I think you are mistaken, little duck. We _left_ my home, and now we are headed to the Fire Nation's capitol. I suppose I could also ask if you meant _your_ home in the South Pole, but I think it's clear you mean return to Zuko."

Katara sat, blushing, with her mouth hanging open. All she'd wanted to know was if Ursa was happy to be returning to her family. She hadn't expected her to read so much into it. Ursa laughed, patting Katara's cheek.

"You spent an entire minute talking about his lips—"

"I did not!" Katara crossed her arms.

"Granted, you were daydreaming for most of it. Does Zuko know of your feelings for him?"

Katara picked at the lint on her pants. "Yes. We love each other and plan to get married."

"Really?" Ursa perked up, her hands clapping together. "So I'll be just in time for the wedding, then?"

"Well…"Katara looked at the ceiling. "Things are a little…complicated. He hasn't proposed yet, not formally. There was some secret sharing, and some deep thinking that had to be done. And actually telling our family that we've been so much more than best friends for the past five years."

"Oh. Oh, well." Ursa sat speechless next to her, still looking at their reflections in the mirror. "But things are working out, yes?"

Katara took a deep breath and looked away. "My dad was pretty upset. And hurt. I don't know that he'll say yes."

"And your mother?"

Katara gently touched her necklace. She wasn't filled with the usual sadness brought on by the topic. There was some consolation in knowing that Ursa called her 'little one,' and 'little duck.' She wondered if this was how Zuko felt when her dad took him hunting or fishing, or when he slapped him on the back, laughing at a joke.

"My mother's dead. She was killed in a raid on the South."

Ursa said nothing, but threw her arms around Katara's shoulders and hugged her. Then the two women sat staring into the mirror. Katara looked at her hair in its elaborate style, and imagined herself dressed like one of the nobility. She wrinkled her nose. Those dresses were so stuffy and constricting. She liked Zuko's idea better. She would always prefer something practical and comfortable.

"I think mom would have liked him," Katara said quietly.

With his ideas about practicality and focusing on necessity first, Katara had often wondered if Zuko had been born into the wrong nation. Maybe he and Sokka should have been switched. A small smile spread across her face. She wondered if she and Zuko still would have fallen in love, if they would have been married a long time ago, how their children would have looked. She giggled.

"Are you daydreaming about him again?" Ursa asked goodnaturedly, brushing her own hair.

Katara smoothed down her shirt and sighed. "Just...thinking about things that could have been. Can I ask you a question? About Na?"

Ursa smiled and leaned her head against Katara's, hugging her again.

"Na has been my strength and my heart since we were little. As girls, we were inseperable, and when fate separated us, our hearts were still together. I trust her like I have never trusted another, and can never trust another. We are like two halves of the same whole. She has pulled me out of my darkest times and reminded me of my strength when I thought I had none left."

Katara smiled softly. "It's a good feeling, isn't it?"

"It is, little one. It is."

Katara sat, quiet. Another question was nagging her, this one far more delicate and probing. Ursa was humming again, brushing her own hair, now, lost in thoughts Katara desperately wanted to know. Deciding there was no way to ease into it, Katara just blurted it out.

"You haven't talked much about Azula." Katara kept her eyes on Ursa's reflection. "A little here and there, but never…not like you do with Zuko."

Ursa stopped, mid stroke, practically freezing. Katara tried to be patient as Ursa remained unmoving before very slowly lowering the brush to the small table. With a heavy sigh, Ursa looked away.

"Of all the people I am afraid of meeting again," Ursa said quietly, "Azula is the one that scares me the most."

"She's changed," Katara said earnestly, jumping to defend Azula. "She's been through a lot—"

"It's not because of who she is—or was—that I am afraid of meeting her."

Ursa tried to speak several times before going quiet. Her brows furrowed as she rearranged the items on the table before going still again, folding her hands in her lap. Her eyes were distant, and hesitantly, Katara placed her hand on Ursa's shoulder.

"Being away from the bubble that is the royal family tends to put the world in perspective. Others have struggled, and yet…" Ursa was quiet again. "Things did not have to end the way they did."

"But what could you have done? If Ozai—"

"If Ozai was keeping me away, there wasn't much I could do. Yes, I know," Ursa said bitterly, moving out of Katara's reach. "And he was, make no mistake about that. Both he and Azulon took control of her education the moment they found out she could bend blue flame."

"But—"

"You are kind to make excuses for me where I cannot make them for myself."

Katara frowned, crossing her arms. "I was simply going to say that I don't think she'd mind having you back. She's a different person, now."

Ursa turned, smiled sadly. "Aren't we all?"

.O.

"What else do you have to lose? We've got evidence placing you at the scene, witnesses who say you showed up at the shop and bought the poison, wearing the symbol of Councilwoman Ina's house. She won't stand up for you, so why bother keeping your silence?"

They'd been working at him for three days, but he couldn't have given in so soon. They were beginning to be frustrated with him, and they'd finally told him how he'd been trapped. This seemed like a logical point to start talking.

"What will you give me if I talk?" Fei looked from one interrogator to the other.

"Depending on what you tell us, we might be able to negotiate a shorter sentence for you."

Fei nodded. It was a good deal, all things considering.

"I am new to Councilwoman Ina's house. She hired me specifically because I am a highly trained tracker, and she has sent me on several missions to spy on the Fire Lord. She did not talk specifically with me about her plans, but some of the servants whisper, and they pay no attention to the shadows. Had the poison plot gone as intended, they would have pushed Lord Baal, a fourth cousin on the side of Lady Illah, on the throne. He would have been a puppet for Ina and Kin."

One of the interrogators was jotting notes furiously as Fei spoke. All of this was useful information for them, but it wasn't the reason Fei had risked his own safety and freedom.

"Councilwoman Ina and Councilman Kin are not alone in their plot to push Lord Baal on the throne. I have seen several others coming to speak in confidential tones about things in Councilwoman Ina's office. Some of these I can name with absolute confidence that they are in on the plot to either push out Fire Lord Zuko or control him. Others, I am not so sure about, but you'll have to offer me something else for those names."

While pointing out those still resisting Fire Lord Zuko's rule would no doubt help to further prove their loyalty to him, it was not his main plan. No, his plan, a plan formed with Inara and Long, focused on implicating Chem.

"What neither Ina nor Kin know, however, is that I work for someone else as well."

This made the one writing stop, his head snapping up. The two men shared a look, concerned, perhaps, but also like they hit the jackpot.

"Kin and Ina planned on using a very different poison, one that wouldn't have such…disastrous results for the Fire Lord, but would nevertheless allow them to maneuver him away from the throne on account of his declining health."

"So you're saying this third party encouraged you to use the Witch's Breath that would ensure the Fire Lord's death?"

Fei nodded. Seeing that he was more competent than most, Ina had trusted Fei with the purchase of the poison. Fei took it upon himself to befriend one of the servants in Ina's house. Every day, he would take her out to lunch and wait. After four weeks of waiting, he'd finally seen Calla walk into the run down tea shop in the lower district, and that's when he decided to whisper across the table about the new poison. He knew this woman got excited easily, and true to her nature, she'd spoken a little louder than she'd intended. Calla was too well trained to give any sign that she heard, but he noticed her body tense. He'd done his best to disguise his voice, and it had apparently worked.

"Who is this third party?"

"A man named Chem. Lady Ursa's personal secretary."

.O.

Katara was downright giddy as she and Ursa entered the palace. As they walked through the halls, people recognized Ursa, and Katara silently pleaded with them to keep quiet. It would be a surprise for Zuko.

Ursa looked nervous as they walked to Katara's suite.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to surprise him like this?" Ursa asked as they stepped inside the anteroom. "Maybe he's busy, and it wouldn't be a good time."

"Nonsense!" Katara said, waving this away. She stood in front of Ursa and hugged her tightly. "He wants this so badly. And don't worry, he'll be just as nervous." Katara gave her sweetest smile as she walked out, closing the door behind her.

And running right into Ty Lee.

"You're back and you're hiding something!"

Katara screamed, putting her hand over her heart and leaning back against the door.

"Tui and La, Ty Lee, you can't just…just sneak up on someone like that!"

"Your aura—"

"Can we talk about that later? I need to see Zuko. It's important."

"You're going to say yes? Oh, that's wonderful!" Ty Lee pulled Katara into a hug, and Katara tried to push her back so she could breathe. "He'll be so happy."

"Not if you don't let me tell him."

Ty Lee linked arms with Katara, and they marched toward Zuko's office.

"He's been in his office most of the day. I think he could use some good news to cheer him up. It's been a little rough, with that assassination attempt and everything."

As they walked, people were bowing to her. At first, Katara thought they were bowing at Ty Lee because, even though she joined the Kiyoshi Warriors, she was still a noblewoman. It wasn't until she was stopped by that same wrinkled old man who tried to speak with Zuko when she'd first come to the Fire Nation about two months ago that she realized that they weren't.

"Ah, my lady, if I may have a moment of your time."

Katara unlaced her arm from Ty Lee. "It's ok, I'll just go on and talk to Zuko."

The old man and Ty Lee exchanged confused looks.

"Katara, he's not talking to me," Ty Lee said gently, putting her hand on Katara's shoulder. "He wants to speak with you."

"Yes, Lady Katara. I thought that you were the Royal Consort, soon to be married to Fire Lord Zuko. Forgive me if I misjudged." Now he was bowing and slowly backing away. "It's just that people have been saying that you will marry his majesty, and I was only hoping to ask a favor of you."

"They're not engaged yet," Ty Lee offered. "See, she's still wearing her mother's engagement necklace, and Zuko has to give her one, and let me tell you, it's stunning. Stunning!"

Katara nearly fell. Zuko _had_ been working on the engagement necklace, and Ty Lee had seen it. Her body was tingling with excitement, and her face was starting to hurt because her smile was so big, and she wanted Zuko to propose _right then_ so she could see her necklace. She scolded herself for thinking Zuko wouldn't take that part seriously. Of course he would respect her culture.

"The most Katara can do for you at the moment is think over your proposal and talk to Zuko about it, but given that he's already dismissed you, I don't think he'll be too keen on you harassing his almost-fiancée about it." Ty Lee draped her arm around the old man's shoulders, and began leading him away.

"Yes, yes. I'm sure you're right. I've just got to find support somewhere."

"Here's what you should do. Agriculture isn't at the top of the list since we've already got so many farms, but people need cabbages, right? There's a whole Cabbage Merchant's Association…"

Ty Lee and the old man disappeared down the hall, and Katara stood, confused, her necklace momentarily forgotten. Really? This whole thing was about _cabbages_? And why did Ty Lee know so much about it? Sometimes, the Fire Nation was just weird.

Free of all distractions, Katara was able to make it to Zuko's office, nodding at the guards patrolling the hallway, noticing the way they and a few others bowed to her. Ty Lee's Campaign of Good Will toward Future Fire Lady Katara must have worked wonders. But then, the guards knew her, and some were afraid of her temper, so that might have helped. Katara knocked on the door to Zuko's office, and a very terse 'what' was the answer.

"Zuko!" she yelled excitedly.

He barely had time to stand before Katara launched herself at him, wrapping her legs around his waist and hugging him. He was smiling and laughing, and she smiled, nuzzling his neck before taking his face in her hands and indulging in all the kissing she'd missed out on for the past month, and Zuko returned with enthusiasm. His hands supported her legs, just bordering on caressing her, and he couldn't help smiling as she ran her tongue over his lips. When he tried to pull away, she bit his bottom lip, then kissed away the hurt, then kissed him some more, completely taking control of the kiss, running her tongue against his, then kissed his scar, then returned her mouth to his.

"Ahem."

Hau was glaring at them from his desk, and Katara supposed that she should have checked to make sure Zuko was actually alone before barging into his office to start a serious makeout session. Hau nodded to the open door, where guards and servants and politicians were doing their absolute worst not to crowd the doorway with their curious and prying eyes. Katara buried her face in Zuko's neck, as he sat them down in his chair, her knees resting on either side of them.

"It is good to see you back, Lady Katara," Hau said, closing the door. "We weren't sure when to expect you."

"I just got in not an hour ago," Katara said, cuddling up to Zuko. "Sorry I haven't written. Things just got so hectic." She gave him a quick peck on the lips as Hau rolled his eyes.

"How did it go?" Zuko asked, running his hands up her legs. "Please—"

"I've got a surprise for you."

Katara's smile widened as a look of pure shock came over Zuko's face. Slowly, his mouth dropped open, and his eyes widened, and his grip on her legs tightened. For a moment, Katara was afraid he was going to hyperventilate, but he remembered that breathing was an essential part of life on his own.

"Holy fucking Agni…"

Katara stood, pulling Zuko to his feet. "Is there anything too important on his schedule for the rest of the day?" she asked Hau.

"No. Nothing I can't handle."

"Good." Katara nodded. "He'll be busy."

She threw the door open and bolted, Zuko in tow, back to her room. Several times Zuko tried to stop her, to get her to tell him what this surprise was, because if she was going to tell him what he thought she was going to tell him, he needed to know. Now. He was going to have a major freakout, please just say something. Katara only told him to relax.

By the time they stopped in front of her door, Zuko looked terrified.

"I can't. What if… I… No…"

He was pulling away from her, but Katara braced herself against the doorway and pulled back.

"What are you afraid of?"

"What if she hates me? What if Chem…What if she believes him?"

Katara let him go to put her hands on her hips. "Are you seriously asking me that? After everything she's done for you—"

"Yeah, but—"

"Do you think she would be here if she hated you? She loves you now just as much as she did when you were four and swimming in custard filling."

Zuko paled, recoiling. "She _told_ you that? I can't believe…"

With Zuko firmly distracted by embarrassing memories, Katara opened the door to her anteroom and pulled Zuko in, closing the door behind her before he had a chance to retreat.

Ursa was sitting in the window seat, humming the Love Theme to Love Amongst the Dragons. The sun was bright outside the window, so she appeared more as a shadow than as an actual person. Katara heard Zuko's breath hitch, almost like a sob, and Ursa turned toward them. Mother and son remained where they were, each regarding the other. For two whole minutes, neither moved. This would be a problem.

"Zuko, go to her."

"I can't," he said, backing up. "What if… What if it's not real?"

He was clutching her hand desperately, and Katara moved to stand in front of him. She had to remind herself that it had been eleven years since they'd seen each other last, that so much had happened in those years that changed them into people they wouldn't recognize. She raised herself on the tips of her toes and kissed him gently, her free hand caressing his scar.

She guided him to the middle of the room, then held her hand out to Ursa, who regarded her strangely for a few moments before standing and accepting it. Face to face, neither could ignore reality, and it was so heavy, so emotionally loaded, and Katara felt like an intruder on this most personal moment. Ursa's breathing picked up, and her eyes shined with unshed tears before her face finally crumpled, and she sobbed, tentatively reaching out a hand to touch Zuko's scar. He turned away from her, no doubt wishing his hair wasn't in a topknot so he could hide it from her. Katara felt that she should leave, but neither was letting go of her hand.

"Zuko…"

"Mom…"

They finally let her go to embrace each other, and Katara slipped quietly out the door.

"So that's his mom, huh?" Toph asked.

Toph and Ty Lee were just outside the door, waiting. Katara sniffled, and wiped away a few of her own tears, nodding.

"Where's Azula and Iroh? They should be here, too."

Toph nodded down the hall. "They're at the Jasmine Dragon. Let's get them."

.O.

Zuko and Ursa stood there, hugging each other close, not saying anything, just reveling in the feeling of having each other back.

"I am _so_ sorry—"

"I missed you so much, mom."

Zuko buried his face in her neck like he'd done when he was a kid, and she cooed at him and brushed his hair back, careful not to mess it up. It was weird to be hugging her. So much had changed between them, but when Ursa pulled back, her hand resting against his unscarred cheek, the kindness in her eyes and her smile said that nothing had changed for her.

"I am so proud of you," she said, fighting against another round of tears. "Of everything you've become."

Zuko didn't fight his own tears. He'd missed hearing those words. He missed hearing them in her voice. Ursa led him to the couch.

"There was so much I wanted to ask you," Zuko said, shaking his head, "but now…the only question that comes to mind is whether or not you really had an affair with your best friend."

Zuko felt horribly embarrassed that _that_ was the first thing on his mind after seeing his mother for the first time in eleven years, and he blushed, trying to look away, but Ursa thought it was the funniest thing in the world. She laughed and hugged him again.

"I'm sorry," Zuko said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I have a talent for making things awkward."

"So Katara tells me. I like Katara. She's a very nice girl."

Zuko mumbled that Katara was nice, feeling like their first conversation was quickly descending into an awkwardness from which it would never return. But he had his mother back, and they were talking. Like normal people. Like he had just introduced his mother to his girlfriend. Like nothing had ever separated them to begin with.

* * *

><p>Reunited at last :D So, there's a bit of an explanation of Na and Ursa's relationship, Ursa's feelings on her daughter, a return home, and Zuko being his usual awkward self. Writing Ursa's feelings toward her daughter was <em>hard<em>. I have to thank **jazzpha** a million times over for talking with me about it and reading over that section for me. It's hard for me to imagine Ursa not feeling guilty about Azula in some capacity. Dear Katara: Don't try to mother a mother. Things are finally moving ahead for our lovely couple, though, so that's good. I don't think Ursa's return to the capitol will be quite so smooth, and there'll be more on that later. But right now, Zuko's just happy to have his mom. I think he deserves this much.


	19. To Love, To Hate, To Learn

"You are the most amazing, wonderful, awe inspiring, beautiful, perfect, almost fiancée in absolute history."

Katara giggled and snuggled closer to Zuko in the bath. It was great to relax after a day filled with such a whirlwind of emotions. By the time Toph, Katara, and Ty Lee returned from the Jasmine Dragon with Iroh and Azula in tow, the news about Ursa's sudden reappearance with the future Fire Lady had spread through the capitol like wildfire. There had been so many people crowded at the palace gates that Toph had to use her bending to separate the masses just so they could get through. Iroh had rushed right in, but it took a lot of coaxing to get Azula to go in and see her mother.

While the family reunited, and after she'd written to the South to invite everyone to meet Ursa, Katara had two major tasks: one, to find out all about this future Fire Lady business; two, to speak with Hau about Chem.

Chem had, of course, come with them, feigning repentance and claiming to seek a new perspective. Katara had used her new found powers, and a bit of Hau's seal to back her up, to set a watch on him. No matter where he went, no matter the time of day, someone would be dogging his steps, and everything would be reported to either her or Zuko. Initially, Katara wanted to leave Chem on Whale Tail Island, but Ursa said that wouldn't be acceptable; they might as well give Chem his army back and open the Gates of Azulon to him. If he was with them, however, he could be watched, and the moment he stepped out of line, he would be dealt with, swiftly and forcefully.

Thinking about Chem was like inviting bad thoughts. Katara squirmed a bit, tightened her hold on Zuko. She really needed to prepare him for when their family made it to the Fire Nation. They'd need to come up with a new plan.

"Zuko, I have a confession to make. It's about the plan."

"Oh."

He pulled her on top of him, running his hands up the backs of her legs, and for a moment, Katara forgot what she was going to say. She took a deep breath, her hands resting on his shoulders.

"Kitten?"

He was hugging her close, his face buried in her chest, and his breath tickled her, his warmth surrounded her.

"Wait! Wait, the plan." She pushed him back a little. "Yeah, the plan got a little ruined."

Zuko raised his eyebrow, the slightest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. "You were never good at making plans. You should have let me do it."

She pinched him, and that started a mini-pinch war that was quickly reducted to splashing in the water and touching that led to kissing that led to groping. Zuko was currently proving how much better he was at things by sucking and nipping on her neck, one hand teasing her nipple.

"Wait! Wait, the plan. I was telling you about the plan."

"Can that wait?"

Katara started considering it. Then Zuko was lifting them both out of the water, and she decided that yes, telling him about how horribly her plan had failed could wait. She was more than willing to let him take her mind off her father's lack of answer. He was steaming himself dry as he stepped out of the tub, and Katara gasped, because she had never known how that felt. His skin was so warm, and his heat enveloped her, and the steam was curling off their skin. It was like being completely enveloped in everything that was Zuko, and she bent the steam into droplets of ice.

"More."

"I can't. It'll burn you."

She was already breathing heavily, and when Zuko sat her down on the bed, she gloved her hand in the ice and ran it over her body, trying to cool herself off, but it only made her heated body more sensitive. Above her, Zuko devoured the sight, his eyes roaming over her naked body, a voyeur, as she arched her back, imagining his hands on her, caressing her, slipping inside her.

"Zuko…" It escaped as a breathy moan, her lip trapped between her teeth.

Then there were more hands on her than she had hands, and he was so warm, even his mouth was warm where he was using his tongue to write his name in searing tingles in the space between her breasts.

"I want to make you feel good," he said, his lips against her stomach.

"Do that thing. With the lightning, like you did last time."

Belatedly, it occurred to Katara that this wasn't the best thing to ask as the slightest tingle made its way up her leg, making her muscles spasm, and she nearly choked on the moan that she was holding back because she'd publicly gone in Zuko's room. If she started moaning loudly now, everyone would know what they were doing. As his hands slid up her body, caressing her, Katara arched into him, biting her lip, breathing heavily through her nose. Zuko trailed kisses over her stomach and her hip and her thigh, kissing and nipping so close to her center.

Frantically, Katara rolled her head from side to side, and she let out a half scream, half moan, because she didn't know he could do _that_ with his tonue as a little jolt of warm electricity slipped insider her, and she arched so much that only the top of her head and her hips were on the bed. If she'd had her hands in his hair just then, Zuko would undoubtedly have had several bald patches to explain. Her grip threatened to rip the silk sheets into shreds as he slid his tongue in and out of her, adding in a finger and curling it to hit just the right spots in her. A deep shudder ran from the very crown of her head all the way to the bottom of her feet, and Katara was thankful for the chance to catch her breath as Zuko moved to kiss her thighs and her hips again.

"There isn't a part of you that I don't worship," Zuko said, cuddling up to her and burying his face in her neck.

"You can't be done already," Katara said, rolling on her side.

"Only letting you catch your breath."

Katara laughed as Zuko rolled on top of her, renewing his vow of pleasure giving, rocking his body against her, two fingers working her, and Katara grabbed his hips, because she wanted his hips against her hips, and even as her pleasure mounted again, she moved back and away from his fingers, rolling him so that she could be on top. There was such a soft look in his eyes, and Katara balanced herself against his chest with one hand as she slowly slid onto him, loving his warmth and the firmness of him inside her and beneath her. Solid. He would never slip away from her.

"Great Agni…"

His chest was heaving, and his hands caressed every inch of her, from her legs to her breasts, his whole body warm as she moved against him, and Zuko let out a very rare loud moan that surprised him as much as it pleased her.

"Missed me?" she asked, her hair tossed over one shoulder, her hands roaming freely over his chest.

"Yes… Yes…"

Because she wanted to hear him moan like that again, Katara picked up the rhythm, clenching her muscles around him and leaning forward to scrape her teeth along his collarbone. Zuko didn't disappoint, moaning her name softly as he grabbed her butt, pushing her down as he pushed up into her. Whether it was the heat in Zuko's hands, or that heat pooling in the pit of her stomach, she couldn't say, but she leaned back, moving his hands to her breasts, encouraging him to play and to pinch harder. Then he was pulling her down against him, rolling them so she was on her back, and pushing as deep as he could go, and Katara grabbed his hips, pulling him even further inside her. He threw one of her legs over his arm, and Katara clawed at his back, because she couldn't get enough of him. She could feel his muscles shake and twitch, and knowing he was so close, Katara arched into him, allowing him to touch her most pleasurable places. She came hard when he pushed deep, the skin of his shoulder caught between her teeth, his breath hot against her.

Katara dissolved into a puddle of whimpers and Zuko oozed down on top of her, and she didn't mind the weight or the heat, but Zuko was rolling off, and scooping her on top of him. He kissed the top of her head as he ran his fingers over her arm. She just laid there, her cheek pressed against his chest, listening to the sound of his beating heart. A little irregular, but beating. Still alive.

"I love you, Katara."

.O.

Chem walked through the halls of the palace, noting how things had changed. This was the stage of so many injustices—personal, national, and international—and people walked around as if these ghosts no longer haunted the palace. He could see them; their very existence was etched into the walls and the floors like a blood stain impossible to remove. He passed by Ozai's room when he was prince. The door was hardly different from any of the others, but he knew that room from all the times he'd stalked the hall outside. He had waited and listened on many occasions to make sure that she was being treated well. The day after the wedding, Ozai just shoved himself inside her, and Chem had been there to rescue her, because he knew Ursa was a smart woman. She would not allow herself to be treated so roughly.

Ursa.

It was a weird taste in his mouth, its honey sweetness clouded over now with anger and disgust, hate and betrayal. Chem had carried her to her room after that, had spoken with her mother, Qiao, about the things he'd heard—the argument and Ozai's ignorance about the real reason for his marriage. In the capitol, Ursa _was_ Kirachu, with all its might and strength, and that marriage to Ozai was to bind the Fire Nation's greatest local food source to the capitol. Chem had supported her, held her in his own arms, rescued her from brutality.

Through the halls, he'd watched Azulon's predatory eyes on her, weighing her actions, and Chem had been there to protect her. Chem had followed behind Ursa even when she couldn't see him. He'd clung to the shadows, listening, watching, waiting. He heard the secrets and the whispers. He learned which servants to trust, which could be turned to her cause, which could protect her children when she was gone. He learned who to avoid, who was most likely to strike out with violence. He learned and he passed on information. If it wasn't for him, she would be dead many times over.

After all this, she had betrayed him, and took another's word over his own. Perhaps she did not appreciate the danger he faced and the sacrifices he made, all so her life would be a little less painful.

When she feared that Ozai would gain control of the military and plunge the world into death and darkness, _he_ was the one who did the work, to keep her name clean. He was the one who figured out who their allies would be, who brought her into the confidence of Iroh and his wife, Jian. He was the one who kept track of every _scrap_ of information, the one who did his best to keep her distant from Ozai when he learned of this betrayal and had beaten her. He had taken great risk to send her personal letters through private channels where they would not be read.

When she decided that she would rather see Ozai on the throne than her son dead, Chem had said nothing. It was the love of a mother, her pure heart. She had put so much hope into this one child, struggled so that at least he, if not his sister, would remain untouched by the war his family chose to wage. So that he would be her beacon of hope, even if she could no longer be there to protect him. When she told him that she would doom the world for the safety of that child, Chem had not verbally questioned this, even though anger and hatred were already beginning to seep into his heart.

Then that child grew up to throw his mother's every kindness in her face and turn all of Chem's hard work into so much ash. Then that child and his lover formed an unholy alliance.

So Chem had bit his tongue and kept quiet, because they could plan all they wanted. He was planning, too. Battle lines were drawn, and Ursa had chosen her side. He'd already made contact with Bo, told him of how things had changed. Bo was to act under the assumption that Chem was being held prisoner, though he was not physically restricted. He gave these orders: Contact. Gather. Plan.

Destroy.

.O.

Azula looked at the woman sitting on the edge of her bed. This was Azula's space. Here, she ruled everything. No one could command her in her space. Azula closed her eyes briefly, shut out the world around her. When she opened them again, that plaintive face had not changed.

"I am so, very sorry, sweetheart."

Azula stepped back when Ursa reached out to her. There were too many emotions inside her; she needed time to sort them out. Hate and anger for the abandonment and betrayal wanted to be at the top, but they had to war against fear that Ursa would leave again, and pity for the pain and need that was so evident in her eyes.

"Why are you crying?" Azula demanded. Her voice was not as strong as she wanted it to be.

Once, she would have been glad to laugh in her mother's face, to reject Ursa just as surely as Azula felt that she'd been rejected. She'd daydreamed about this reunion, and all the ways she'd make her mother beg and plead. Now, her resolve had weakened. Now she knew true rejection, had felt it from the one who was supposed to be on her side.

"Because it was never enough." Ursa let her hands drop limply in her lap. "It has been my biggest regret that I did not fight him harder."

"You never loved me."

She remembered Ursa shoving her away and recoiling when Azula wanted to show off her firebending. She remembered being scolded for being better than Zuko. She remembered the way Ursa would read Zuko stories, but she would get nothing. She remembered the way Ursa limped once, after she and Ozai fought. Her memories of those days were clouded by youth and poison words dripped in her ear by her father and grandfather.

"You never loved me," Azula stated again, her voice flat, her eyes piercing, hoping to ferret out some hidden answer.

"I kept your firebending a secret until you were three, Azula," Ursa said, her tears turning to sniffles. "You showed signs at _six months_. Ozai was not pleased when he found out. He said that I was to take Zuko. You would be his child."

Azula looked at her mother's profile. She remembered that fight. She had been there. Ozai pried Ursa's eyes open so that she could see the blue flame Azula held in her hands. He'd shoved his knee in Ursa's back and grabbed a fistful of her hair. Azula remembered standing, immobilizied by fear, as her mother stabbed her father with the pointed end of a hair ornament, sliced his cheek open. She remembred the blood. Unlike Zuko, she remembered their mother's true nature—fierce and passionate and dangerous.

They tried to teach Azula the importance of forgiveness at the hospital, and as a mostly abstract concept, she was fine with it. Little forgivenesses she could do. She had forgiven Ty Lee for her betrayal at the Boiling Rock. She forgave Zuko for the injuries he gave her during the final battle. She didn't quite forgive Mai for the betrayal, but Mai had never come to visit her, even when she was Zuko's girlfriend. She wasn't angry at Mai anymore, and the doctors said this was fine, too, and that people also had to want to be forgiven.

She'd also learned the importance of being forgiven. Of all the possible people in the world, it was _Aang_ who taught her that.

"I was terrified of you," Ursa admitted, standing and fully facing her daughter. "I looked at you, and all I saw was Ozai. I saw his anger and his hatred and his foolishness all transferred to you. I… I was too willing to back away from you."

Aang taught her about balance. All life needed balance, he said, and she never had it; balance had been denied her when she was young, and now that she was older, she had no idea how to find it. Lashing out and feeling anger would only bring more anger. It was ok for her to be confused about her new life, and where she fit in. Asking for forgiveness, he was sure, would put her on the right path to healing and to finding that balance. That maybe with balance, she would bend again.

"If I hadn't been a prodigy, would you have loved me more?"

He'd told her those things right before she lashed out at him. Who was he to tell her that bending was something she _had_ to do? It was her bending that got her in this mess in the first place. It was her bending that drew Ozai's attention. It was her bending that pushed her mother away. It was her bending that turned what should have been friendly competition between her and Zuko into a life or death fight. It was her bending that failed her when she needed it most, during the comet. All her life, Ozai said that _Zuko_ was the worthless one, that _Zuko_ would never be stronger than her, that _Zuko_ was lucky to be born, that _she_ was his greatest achievement.

Ursa was startled by the question. "I did love you—"

"But you stopped fighting." Azula watched her mother with narrowed eyes. "You stopped fighting for me, but you never stopped fighting for Zuko."

If asking for forgiveness meant that she would invite the curse that was her bending and the past into her life again, Azula was determined to never ask for forgiveness. She would live without it. She was fine with the present. It didn't taunt her with all that she could have been.

"There is nothing I can do to change the past," Ursa said, her shoulders slumped.

Hanging unsaid in the air was the one request Azula had been waiting to hear: a plea for forgiveness. She might not have wanted forgiveness for her own actions, but Azula understood the draw. She understood the temptation of promised relief. Ursa came toward Azula. She waited, and hesitantly, Azula stepped forward, allowing Ursa to hug her, to hold her close and comfort her. Azula would not allow herself to cry, even as Ursa squeezed her and rubbed her back like she hadn't done since Azula was three. Ozai had taunted her, called her a waste of seed, said she was pathetic, said she was a failure, said his greatest achievement was defeated by his greatest failure.

"I'm sorry things couldn't be different, too," Azula whispered.

* * *

><p>Ok, so this week has been total hell for me, and I'm just so done with it. This is *slightly* late. But it's still within the week, so whatever.<p>

Anyway, I tossed around several ideas about dispensing with Chem when I wrote this chapter, but ultimately, I decided to go against it. There's still some havoc he apparently had to cause, so we'll see what's still there. Not to worry. He _will_ get what's coming to him. But with a return to the Fire Nation, it lets me get back to more relationships. This Ursa/Azula scene was another hard one to write. I can't fully picture what their first meeting would be like, but, after a long talk with the wonderful **Jazzpha**, I think being hospitalized for five years would help her see things differently. And having been betrayed so thoroughly, I think it might put her feelings toward Ursa in a bit of a different light. That's not to say there isn't still a fair amount of distrust, apprehension, frustration, and bitterness. But all of this is-almost-pushed to the side in favor of the more immediate need of being loved and having family close to her again. I also wanted to keep that theme of time giving Ursa a bit of perspective, too; rather than having Azula begging for forgiveness, I wanted Ursa to do it. But this also let me introduce something that's steadily been growing on me: Aang and Azula. Oddly enough, I think Azula would be receptive to some Air Nomad teachings. Not all of them, mind you, but there are certain ones which coincide nicely with her situation, and could bring her a bit of peace, or at the least, understanding. Of course, she applies it in the way she wants. When she's ready, she'll apologize. Maybe.


	20. Plan the Plan

The sun was fully up and shining into Zuko's bedroom, and Katara was still snuggled up to him, playing with the ends of his hair while his arm was draped across her waist. He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes.

"You don't intend to stay in bed all day, do you, Mr. I Rise with the Sun?"

He opened his eyes slowly, caressing her cheek.

"I said that _once_, when I was sixteen. Besides, I have dreamed of this moment for so long."

"You are such a closet romantic."

He tilted her chin and kissed her chastely, sweetly, a kiss that said there was more to passion than making out and screwing each other until their bones turned to liquid. Katara returned the kiss, caressing his scar.

Nothing more needed to be said.

* * *

><p>Everyone was at breakfast, and Katara and Zuko were the last to show up. Even before the doors were opened, the pleasant sounds of loud conversation could be heard. There was Iroh's laughter, and Ty Lee cooing, followed by a grunt that most likely came from either Toph or Jun. This was her family, and long ago, she'd stopped saying 'your family' or 'my family.' It was just family. Zuko started forward, but Katara tugged a little, pulling him back. Then she realized she didn't have anything to say. She shrugged and Zuko smiled.<p>

"We could have a private breakfast in my suite," he offered before lightly kissing her hand.

"We'll have plenty of time for private breakfasts later. Our family's waiting."

Conversation died down when they entered. Knowing the teasing that usually went on, Katara did feel a tad nervous. It was one thing to be teased in front of Iroh, but with Ursa there… She groaned; more often than not, Iroh _started_ the teasing, and Jun had never accepted that there wasn't something going on between the two of them. Even though Ursa had teased, and Na had pushed a bit further, what they did was nothing compared to the innuendo that flew around their breakfast table.

"Ah, nephew, I was worried you wouldn't ever make it to breakfast, and we'd all starve. But I see you had a very good reason to stay in bed."

Ursa playfully swatted Iroh's arm, which earned her a sideways look from Jun. Katara couldn't help smiling. She'd never considered that Iroh would have women falling all over him. He just didn't seem like the type. But, then with some of the stories Zuko told her about Iroh in his youth… Not that Jun had anything to worry about. Iroh did seem quite devoted to her. This exchange, of course, caught Ty Lee's attention and made Azula gag, and Katara prayed to _every_ spirit that this would catch Ty Lee's fancy, and she'd harass Ursa and Iroh about the details of their relationship and leave her and Zuko alone.

Then she noticed something different. There were two chairs at the head of the table instead of the customary one. Two elaborate gold chairs with overstuffed, plush red cushions, one with an engraved flame matching the Fire Lord's crown. The other, she could only assume to be an approximation of the Fire Lady's crown.

"You don't have to sit in it if you don't want. I think some people just got a bit…eager."

Katara's face lit up, and she ran to it, squealing in delight as she threw herself on the soft cushions, wiggling until she found the most comfortable spot. It was like sitting on a bed of koalosheep fur.

"Really, Sparky, I'm not sure why you even bothered saying that. You know she's a total princess," Toph said, reclining in her seat.

Not long after they were seated, the servants started bringing breakfast in. They were followed by Hau, holding something that was too thick to be Zuko's schedule. Katara scoffed and crossed her arms. The Universe _had_ to hate her. This was absolutely ridiculous, they'd only _just_ sat down, and Hau at breakfast was like a harbinger of doom.

"Forgive the intrusion, my lord, but I thought you would be _most_ interested in this."

Hau bowed as he handed the stack of papers to Zuko. Everyone was quiet as Zuko read through them with a frown. A frown that deepened the further he read. Then one of the pages burst into flames, and Ty Lee screamed, covering her mouth, as the servants all cowered against the wall. Zuko took deep breaths, blowing steam from his nostrils as ash floated in the air.

"When did this happen?"

"Last night, your majesty."

Zuko nodded slowly. "Right. I'll need to think on this."

"Shall I have the jails readied?"

"Please do."

Hau exited with a bow, servants scurrying after him, bumping into each other in their haste to exit the room. When the doors closed, Zuko began putting food on his plate with movements too stiff to be considered natural. Everyone was watching him expectantly, but he said nothing, his mouth remaining locked in a tight line, permitting nothing when so much needed to be said. With a furiously beating heart, Katara looked at the shocked and concerned faces gathered around the table, the remnants of that burned paper, the would-be-casual way Zuko was eating. She placed her hand on top of his fist. It was warmer than normal, and she could feel the slight tremors of him struggling to keep his anger under control.

"Zuko—"

"I don't want to drag you into this, Uncle, since you have retired and expressed a wish to remain untroubled by politics. I would suggest that you and Jun take a vacation somewhere away from the capitol. If you don't mind, I'd ask that you take Azula and Ty Lee with you and keep them safe. Toph and Katara, I'll need your help, not only as master benders, but because I need people close to me that I can trust. Mom…" Zuko's face was unreadable when he looked at his mother. "Your familiarity with the subject will be most appreciated."

"Nephew, I do not like the way this sounds."

"Nor should you."

"What has that man done?" Ursa asked through clenched teeth, her voice low as she gripped the edge of the table.

Ty Lee was nervously biting her thumb, but her eyes remained determined, and Azula stared away from them all. Though Toph's head was hanging down, her feet were planted firmly on the ground. Katara had no doubt she was keying in on Zuko's emotions, testing his words to see just how honest he was going to be with them about the current situation. Grim, determined faces looked to Zuko, to the Fire Lord, for answers and leadership.

"Chem has called his army to march on the capitol."

* * *

><p>Aang didn't think he could be <em>this<em> upset about the situation in Ba Sing Se. He picked up another shirt and shoved it into his bag, not caring for neatness or conservation of space.

"Avatar Aang, you do not understand the gravity of the situation."

"This isn't something I can fix for you," he said, turning to face the new and infinitely less corrupt Grand Secretariat. "You have to listen to their needs. You can't just blow them off." He threw his hands up in exasperation.

Since he got there, Aang had been trying to help negotiations between the people of Ba Sing Se and the government, but to no avail. Citizens felt they had to bend too much in the past years, that they had been abused and kept in the dark for far too long. They thought it was time the government did some bending. Several called for that bending to take form of the ousting of Kuei, and Aang had done his best to redirect their anger and attention towards relief and rebuilding. In the end, meetings became shouting matches, with both sides refusing to listen to him. Several times, Aang was sure no one even noticed his presence. Threats were made and insults thrown about liberally. Civility had ceased to matter, and one meeting almost ended in a physical fight.

"You are the Avatar. It is your _duty_ to uphold peace and balance."

"Lady Ai, I can't do this alone!" Aang threw the pants he was holding on the bed. "Change isn't going to happen just because I want it to. You need to be open to their suggestions—"

"And open Ba Sing Se to civil war?"

The older woman stood prim and disappointed, blocking the doorway. Nothing was going to happen in Ba Sing Se without some sort of compromise on both parts, but neither group was willing to give up any of their demands. In all honesty, Aang thought the Fire Nation would have a harder time rebuilding after the war than Ba Sing Se. No one could have expected Kuei to stay away for so long, or to have been so clueless about politics. The longer Kuei reigned as a true king, the more evident it became that Long Feng's control over the throne had begun long before the creation of the Dai Li and their strict rules. Long Feng's plan had been in effect back when he was just a trusted advisor, back when Kuei had first been born. Through the years, as Long Feng rose through the ranks, he made sure the heir's knowledge was limited, ensuring his dependence on his power hungry Grand Secretariat.

"Look—"

"Where are you headed now, Avatar Aang? The Fire Nation? Have you forgotten that your duty is not only to the Fire Nation but to _all_ those who need your help?"

Aang wanted to cry. Talking to these people was like talking to a brick wall. He needed help. He needed to talk to someone who understood what a losing battle this was. Both Zuko and Iroh would be in the Fire Nation, and they could give him advice, tell him what worked when no one was willing to compromise. Although, in Zuko's case, he was the Fire Lord and could just tell people how things were going to be, and everyone would _have_ to listen. There was no way that anything approaching that method would work for Kuei. At the least, he could pick up some political scrolls that might help. Trying to cram a lifetime's worth of knowledge and understanding into a few years was not working all that well. Kuei was physically and mentally exhausted most days, leaving a lot of the ruling to his advisors despite Aang's best efforts to assist in a transference of leadership.

"Yes." Aang nodded firmly. "I'm going to the Fire Nation because I need help. The Council of Five has asked Uncle to help them before, and maybe he could help with a new perspective on the trouble." Aang rubbed his chin. "Maybe from there, I'll swing by the South Pole and speak with Sokka. He's always had weird ideas that work. Maybe that's what Ba Sing Se needs."

In any case, they did need to stop sending out alarmist and horribly biased opinions of peaceful protestors sitting in the courtyard in front of the palace. It was hardly a siege; more like a picnic. Aang had eaten lunch with several families and talked to them about what they thought was wrong. Their suggestions didn't seem all that unreasonable to him. He just didn't understand why the government was resisting so much.

When the last of his belongings were packed, Grand Secretariat Ai scowled at him before standing to the side.

"That you refer to Former General Iroh as 'Uncle' proves that you are less than impartial in these matters," Ai said before marching off.

Aang didn't wait for further admonishment, grabbing his bag and sprinting off to the stables before Ai could come back. He had important work to do.

* * *

><p>"Zuko, I know this isn't the best time right now, but I really need to tell you about the plan."<p>

Katara leaned back against Zuko's desk, playing with the fabric of her dress. He was sifting through papers again, looking for details in the report Hau had given him at breakfast.

"Dad knows. And Sokka. I had to tell them."

That got his attention. He moved his mouth in the beginnings of several questions that weren't fully formulated, looked at his papers, then gave her a curious look. It was somewhere between amusement, confusion, and outright mockery, with a good hint of distraction and frustration thrown in. He put his papers down and took her hands in his, a smile spreading across his face.

"How did you so royally fuck that up?"

She whacked him hard with a book, embarrassment coloring her cheeks.

"It wasn't really my fault," she said defensively. "I… I was having a dream about you and—"

"What kind of dream?" Zuko leaned back in his chair, his eyebrow raised.

"Shouldn't you be focused more on that maniac and his army? You should just be quiet and let me get this stupid story over with."

Zuko shrugged. "It's a welcome distraction. And you're keeping me from being a moody jerk."

When he tried to pull her closer, Katara slapped his hand away.

"Anyway, moody jerk, I was saying that I was having a dream, and then I woke up and Aang was there—"

"In your room in the middle of the night?" Zuko asked, tone shifting and suddenly serious. "He just happened to be there?"

"Zuko, stop."

Katara fixed Zuko with a firm warning look. Things were already going to be bad enough between them and Aang. She didn't need Zuko tossing on another layer of stupid just because Aang was in her room. She breezed through the part about everyone rushing in, and her pinning Aang to the wall, but she couldn't just skip past the conversations she had with Sokka and her father, even though she wanted to. It wouldn't be fair to not prepare him for what would come.

"Sokka saw that I was sleeping in one of your shirts, and he already knew. He said he's known for quite some time."

Katara waited for Zuko's reaction. He didn't say anything, just looked out the window for a long measure before looking at her again. He shrugged noncommittally. Katara knew he and Sokka talked about literally everything, and Sokka _would not_ let something like her and Zuko enter his brain and keep it to himself. He'd probably put something like 'our conversations have to stay secret' in that stupid Code of Law he and Zuko had. She waited a few more moments, expecting Zuko to follow up that shrug with some words, but nothing of the sort happened. Zuko remained quiet, his face restrained, giving away no hints of his thoughts. As much as it killed her, the only reason she was letting Zuko get away with this silence was because they had more important things to deal with. She would revisit it when there was one less maniac trying to destroy the world.

"Anyway, Sokka broke out the arctic brandy because it was that kind of conversation, and then he was ok with it, and then Dad was in the doorway, and he'd overheard a piece of the conversation, so I was stuck telling him, too."

"Is he mad?" Zuko grabbed her hand again, did that avoidance eye dance of his.

"I think so. He was really hurt that neither one of us said anything. I tried so hard to convince him… I…I don't know that I did. He thought we should have said something so they could have helped."

"Yeah right," Zuko said. "In short, no more plan?"

Katara nodded as Hau came to the door, announcing himself.

"Everything is prepared in the map room, my lord," he said.

In the map room, uncreatively named because it held all the maps, Toph, Ursa, Long, Inara, Councilman Ukani, Councilwoman Lide, Jee, Defense Minsiter General Hideo and a few others were waiting. Along with Iroh and Jun.

"Uncle, I thought—"

"It would be wrong of me to abandon you, nephew. Ba Sing Se is my home, but so is the Fire Nation. I would not like to see it destroyed. As to your wish to send those you love and want to protect away from the capitol, I might suggest that you keep them close. It will be easier to keep an eye on them here."

"_I_ might suggest that there's no way you can catch them all, and at that point, you could use a good bounty hunter with a shirshu who can track fugitives," Jun said, resting her arm on the back of her chair. "And because you're Iroh's family, I'll even waive the fee."

Zuko nodded. "Thank you."

The assembled group waited in silence. As Fire Lord, Zuko would lead the discussion, but he didn't immediately start the meeting. Instead, he walked around the table with an elaborate map of the world carved into its top. There were recesses where the ocean was so that water could be poured in. Katara watched him reach out to touch the peaks of the Fire Nation's mountains, and run his fingers between the gates of Azulon.

"The bulk of Chem's army is located in the Earth Kingdom. To reach the Fire Nation, they will have to travel by ship. I've already begun mobilizing the navy, and intend to have them guard the Gates of Azulon, as well as patrol our waters."

Katara admired Zuko, they way he stood with his arms crossed and his back straight, as if he was talking to his generals. He commanded respect and used a tone that said he was open to suggestions, but his word was final. Her heart tightened. It was too much like a war meeting, the atmosphere too heavy, too reminiscent of a time she alternately wanted to leave behind and desperately longed to have again. It would be foolish to think that fighting would stop with the end of the war, and that lingering problems wouldn't exist. But there were lingering problems because of the war, and _this_. Whatever it was.

"Do we have any way of identifying Chem's army?" Jee asked.

Inara shook her head. "Chem never had an insignia, and no money to fund an army. We buy all our own gear."

Katara sat in Zuko's chair, slumping forward and rubbing her face vigorously. "So basically we're just looking for large groups of people coming to the Fire Nation from the Earth Kingdom? That hardly seems fair."

"Refugee numbers are down since the fighting's calmed," Zuko said, coming to stand next to her. "We will treat large waves of people seeking entrance suspiciously."

Katara frowned. She didn't like treating potentially innocent people like criminals, but what choice did they have? If there was no formal organization among Chem's army other than that Chem and his word were law, what could they do to stop them? Chem was an invisible hand pressing down on them. This army could come from any place at any time, and there would be no way to detect them until they were attacking the city. That idea scared her; there was some dark force lurking around every corner and in every shadow, waiting to strike with deadly and unknown force.

"And what do we do about Chem himself?" Defense Minister General Hideo asked.

This sparked a chorus of discussion, with people talking over each other and clamoring for Zuko's attention. Jail him, execute him, interrogate him. If he's left to walk the streets, he'll cause havoc. It's irresponsible not to keep him in a cage. He should never have been brought back to the Fire Nation. He is Lady Ursa's servant, she should deal with him. She should have dealt with him long ago. Banish him. He is a traitor to the nation. He has abandoned his duty and his position. Zuko sighed, sitting on the arm of the chair, shaking his head sadly.

"I would suggest," Ursa said. It was the first time she'd spoken during the meeting, and her voice was loud, demanding the attention of the others. It left Katara with the impression that she'd done this many times before. "I would suggest leaving Chem as he is for the time being."

Her suggestion was met with a flurry of agreement and challenges. Zuko leaned forward and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Stop it," he yelled, like a father to his bickering children. "One at a time." He gestured for Ursa to continue.

"If they are loyal to Chem, they will gather around him. The key is to watch Chem. In order to attack, they must first receive instruction, and then we will have them all in one place. Lady Katara has set a watch on him, yes?"

"Yes," Katara said nodding. "Minister Hau signed off on it when I first asked, and Zuko signed again, adding his seal. Mistress Yina has people watching him with every step."

"I would agree that this is a good idea, nephew," Iroh said, looking very comfortable and at home in what effectively was a war meeting. "We only know about this army and a planned attack because Chem sent off a letter to his second in command. If we give him more time to send off letters, perhaps he will reveal something useful to us."

"I would also add," Long said, "that Chem can't know just how many of us have defected. If it comes to a physical fight, you have our word that we will stand by you, Fire Lord Zuko."

Long and Inara stood and knelt at Zuko's feet, a show of fealty to their Fire Lord.

Zuko acknowledged their loyalty and stood to address everyone.

"The success of this mission relies on Chem never finding out what we know. Let me hear that any one of you is thinking about mentioning this to someone before you consult me, and you will _wish_ that Chem succeeds, if only to stop what could happen to you."

* * *

><p>Chem looked at the portraits of previous Fire Lords. He noted with some amusement that there was no picture for the current Fire Lord. Perhaps it would be better if it stayed that way. In the right places, among the right people, there were whispers that it might be better for the world if Sozin's line ended, and a new one was brought to power. Chem was not entirely against that idea, and he would readily admit that this was fueled by his personal feelings toward that traitor.<p>

He looked at Ozai's portrait with its gears and cogs, spewing pollution and fire and death into the air, the sun a bright blaze behind him. His hands were comically large, representing his physical strength. Ozai had wasted no time getting his picture up there, sitting for the portrait the same day he was crowned, as if he knew his reign would be mercifully short. Traditionally, Fire Lords waited until there was some great accomplishment that would symbolize their reign before having the portrait done, but Ozai had nothing. No great accomplishments under his belt either as prince or Fire Lord. He latched onto the robe of his father, rode the wave of industrialization that Azulon started. His only defining moment had been nearly bringing the world to its end. Chem scoffed.

"Sanu, a letter was received from the Avatar this morning. He will arrive in a few days."

Chem turned at the soft voices that echoed down the empty hall. He recognized the woman as Yina, who'd been Head of Household Staff under Ozai, though she'd been quite fond of the current Fire Lord when he was a boy. How she could look at him now and still know him for the boy he was baffled Chem. It also baffled Chem that he was being allowed to roam so freely. He tried to keep a low profile; staying out of sight kept him in the palace for almost three years after Ursa's banishment, though he was prone to taking long leaves of absence from his position to help her stay hidden.

"You will supervise the preparations of Avatar Aang's rooms. Make sure to speak with Li about stocking the royal stables. Avatar Aang will be flying Appa in. We want to make sure there is fresh water and food."

"Yes, Mistress Yina."

Chem faced the portraits again, now in front of Azulon's with its giant earth beast twisting in the final throes of death: dominion over the Earth Kingdom, symbolic of the colonies he annexed. Chem ground his teeth, and when he turned to where Yina and Sanu had been, all he saw was Yina, regarding him with ruthless black eyes that saw straight through him and sent a shiver up his spine. She was a traitor, too, and Chem turned his back on her, walking away from the portraits with a measured step. He would not let her think she'd run him off.

The halls were bustling with people as Chem headed back to the room that had been assigned to him in the servant's quarters. He'd understood the insult. Even at his lowest point, Chem had never been a servant. He'd been born into a noble family, had borne their seal when he applied for a secretarial position with Wei and Qiao, and accepted that position with highest honors in the premier family of Kirachu. It was a worthy career, and they had trusted him enough to guard their only child after so many years of service. He was no lowly servant, and yet, here he was. Insult after insult, they gave him.

He could not let his anger cloud his judgment; if he let himself be ruled by anger, he would make mistakes, and it would be too easy for them to capture and imprison him. Perhaps he had spoken too quickly in urging Bo to destroy. More observation might be needed to determine if there was nothing they could salvage of the old plan.

"Azula, please! You love shopping!"

"What _ever_ gave you that idea?"

Quickly, Chem ducked into an alcove, his heart pounding furiously. Azula? The Lightning Princess? So much had been made of her madness and imprisonment in a mental facility. They said she was insane, not capable of rational thought, and yet here she was inside the _palace itself_, discussing shopping of all things with her old friend.

"Why don't we go to the spa? You love the spa."

The Princess sighed, and their voices moved closer to Chem's hiding spot. He could see them clearly now, and there was no madness in the eyes of Ozai's daughter. She was thinking over the proposal of a spa trip, smoothing down her dress, shrugging nonchalantly. There was clearly something different about her. The tension in her body was gone, and she no longer looked like a coiled viper snake ready to strike, but her golden eyes were still calculating. Her gaze was measured as she looked at her friend before glancing over her shoulder at the sound of approaching footsteps. This was not the clouded haze of madness that he had been expecting, and Chem cursed inwardly. This was not a good sign at all.

"I suppose a trip to the spa wouldn't hurt," the Princess said, grabbing her friend's arm and hurrying her down the hall.

Chem's nostrils flared. The Fire Lord, the Dragon of the West and now the Lighting Princess all in one place. All acting together. Chem bit down on his tongue to keep from making any noise as the girls move away and those approaching footsteps grew louder. He almost stepped from the alcove when he heard a loud sigh. It was Ursa, and she stopped in the spot where her daughter had been. She didn't stay long, murmuring the girl's name sadly before turning and heading in the direction from which she'd come. When the hallway was clear, Chem changed course, no longer heading for his room, but leaving the palace for the hawkery in town.

His earlier assessment of destruction had not been premature.

Nothing, and no one, could be saved.

* * *

><p>AN: New line break style because I don't know why I wasn't doing this from the beginning. Whatever. Anywhoo, I'm doing two updates this week, because I really want to get this beast rolling, and we're deep into the final arc, now. Chem's punishment will soon be upon us ;) Or him, rather. As a note, I was super amused to find scans of the Fire Lord portraits of Fire Lords past (they're floating around the internet somewhere), and thoroughly encourage you all to find them if you haven't already seen them. What Chem says about them is partially my own interpretation, and partially some of what other people have said/suggested. It might be needless to say this, but at this point, Chem's mostly just acting out of spite. He's one of those people who'd not only lie to the world, but lie to himself, too, so long as it allowed him to keep doing what he wanted. But plans are being made to stop him. Just remember that everything comes with a price. I guess this is the point where everything starts coming together and we start getting some resolutions.

And, of course, I'd be a bad person if I didn't, once again, take the time out to thank all of you for reading, reviewing, or both! You are all just wonderful, amazing people, and reading your kind words brings a smile to my face. Hope this brings one to yours :D


	21. Past Transgressions

Ursa stood in the back room of Iroh's tea shop. She looked around at the jars and the pots and barrels of leaves, and she smiled softly to herself. Iroh's love for and skill with tea hadn't changed. It was a great comfort to know that some things remained constant.

"Now, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Iroh asked, closing the door behind him.

"I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for Zuko. I admit that when I saw him in Ba Sing Se I was afraid you had not been able to help him. That Ozai had gotten to him, too."

She moved to stand in front of the window overlooking Iroh's garden in the back of the shop. It was a beautiful garden, with the sun shining through the leaves of the trees and filtering onto the plants below. There were chairs set out, and a small table, a place where two people could have a private conversation. An air of peacefulness surrounded it, and Ursa couldn't help placing people long gone in the scene, imagining Lu Ten's laughter and Jian's warm smile as she watched her son play with his cousins.

"For a time, he did lose his way," Iroh said quietly, "but I never doubted in my heart that he would find his true path again. The pain that Ozai caused him…"

"And now, both of my children are healing."

Ursa turned to see Iroh's strained face, the lines deepening and his brow furrowing. His hands were clasped behind his back. She studied him, seeing the father, the man who loved his son dearly, who doted on that little boy and was so greatly pained when he died. It was Iroh who took over when Ozai rejected Zuko, even before Lu Ten died. Iroh's gentle words of encouragement had only made her hate Ozai more. Ozai could never be one third the man his older brother was, either in battle, cunning, or his capacity for empathy and love. Perhaps, if Ba Sing Se hadn't kep him away during Auzla's earliest years, he might have been able to make some difference with her, too. Perhaps, then, life would not have been so hard for her.

"I can't help but feel that it is, in some way, my fault. Perhaps if I had not been so hard on Ozai, if I had taken him under my wing rather than mock him and push him away—"

"You cannot hope to blame yourself for who Ozai became. That was not your responsibility, any more than it was mine." Ursa laid her hand on Iroh's shoulder. After a brief hesitation, she put her hand on his cheek, and Iroh smiled.

"Not entirely, no. But you knew me back then, Ursa. For Agni's sake, I teased Ozai because the only reason he was conceived was that my parents thought the snakebite when I was twelve would kill me. I grabbed your butt just after your wedding ceremony."

Iroh smiled a devious smile, and Ursa saw a hint of the old him peeking out. She laughed behind her hand, recalling her wishes that she'd married Iroh instead of Ozai. Then there was the time she'd spoken with Iroh after Ozai called her by another woman's name while they were having sex. Ursa didn't stop her own devious smile. Iroh said his mind would be filled with nothing but the sight of _her_ as he made her feel a pleasure so intense the spirits themselves would be jealous. Iroh had always been so kind and attentive to her. He made her feel beautiful when Ozai couldn't figure out what a compliment was. If she'd been any less fond of Jian and Lu Ten, Ursa might have taken Iroh up on his offer, whether he'd meant it or not.

"Do you remember Uti and Dio? And Lady Taan? They told me that you and Ozai used to compete for the same women. That it was a competition to see who would bed the girl first. They were convinced you were trying to steal me away from Ozai."

Iroh laughed, turning to put water in a tea pot. "Needless to say, I won most of those contests, and even stole a few out of Ozai's bed. He was never the…social butterfly that I was. He was much too focused on the war. He could convince a group of seasoned generals to go on a suicide mission, but he couldn't convince a girl that she should choose him over me."

"You saved me from so much pain, Iroh. Had you not said anything to Ozai, every night he came to me would have been filled with pain. I don't think I could have borne his children. Allowing us to have that little bit of pleasure, however short-lived… I think it allowed us to find some measure of…non hate with each other. At least in the early years. You gave me the strength to do what needed to be done later."

Iroh sighed, his back still to Ursa. "I notice that you do not say you love him. Or that you did love him."

Ursa wondered what face he was making, if he was looking disappointed or smug. In those early months when all Ozai could do was compare every aspect of their lives to Iroh and Jian's, she'd often fantasized about Iroh, that she could be his wife and no one would have to tell him the proper way to have sex with a woman, that you cannot bring up your past girlfriends and claim they liked the way you thrusted into them while you were consummating your marriage. No one would have to tell Iroh that sometimes people enjoy compliments, or sometimes needed to be held and not groped.

And yet, for all Iroh had done, she could _not_ forget that it was Iroh who hid the letter warning Ozai about his generals' less than favorable opinion of her and her influence over Ozai. She could _not_ forget that it was the withholding of this letter that prevented Ozai from protecting her. She could _not_ forget the attack, the fear and the hopelessness, hands too big closing over her throat. Or the way that they beat her, touched her. The way they sought to dominate her, forcing her legs apart and burning her thighs, slicing her with a knife. Yanking at her leg like one would a roast duck, dislocating and tearing muscle…

The teapot whistled.

"I do not say it because what I felt for him was not love. Affection, maybe, before everything went downhill, but not love."

"And for me?"

Ursa said nothing, letting the silence hang in the air. Iroh had shown great remorse for his actions, and even when Ozai found out she was working with Iroh to keep him from the throne, Iroh did his best to protect her. When war was renewed and Iroh was called away, he wrote every week to ask after _her_. Despite her claim to be through with politics, had Iroh found some way to remove Ozai, even after she'd had both Zuko and Azula, Ursa did not doubt that she would have married Iroh.

Iroh turned, his face unreadable, and Ursa stooped to press her lips against his. They touched only briefly before Iroh turned his cheek to Ursa.

That little touch was enough.

* * *

><p>Katara and Zuko had just left a meeting where they were updated on Chem's activities; he'd sent out more letters, and was frequently going to certain bars down by the docks where the unsavory types were likely to hang out. He'd been visiting the houses of certain nobles, asking how likely they were to push against Zuko. She didn't like having him so close, and would have loved to see him locked up somewhere. Still, Jun had a valid point. Being imprisoned had not stopped Ozai from trying to kill Zuko, and Zuko pointed out that this way, they could gather evidence against him, since being a delusional ass wasn't exactly against the law, and that was the only thing Chem was guilty of doing.<p>

"When did you say everyone was coming in from the South?" Zuko asked as they walked to his office.

"They should be here in a week, depending on the winds. Well, less than a week, now. I sent the letter the same day we got back."

Zuko was in the process of detailing for her his system of cataloguing all of the documents he had to deal with. In the wake of the chaos created by Ozai's disregard for governing the nation, Zuko had implemented one organizational system after another. Each business was issued a permit giving them permission to operate; it was also a way for the financial ministers to keep track of who owed what kinds of taxes, when they were due, what tax breaks were allowed. It was his extremely detailed way of tracking monetary flow within the Fire Nation. Or at least the legal side of it.

"Here," Zuko said, pinning a massive schedule to the wall next to the desk. "I'll keep this up here so you can know when each industry should be sending in applications for renewal of their business permits. We're nearing the first round of reapplications, so get ready to authorize several scolding letters to be sent to people who don't pay attention to simple instructions."

Katara studied the chart as Zuko went on about color codes relating to taxes and forms, and different letter and number combinations. Then he started going on about the reasoning behind tax brackets and hoping to distribute the burden equally, and how much the crown would be responsible for paying, and reparations, and it was quickly getting overwhelming. Then Zuko sighed and said that mostly she wouldn't have to worry about figuring out the taxes because the finance ministers would take care of it. At which point, Katara felt like punching him.

"Which reminds me, I need to get to the red light district—"

"What the hell would you be going there for?" Katara asked, her hands flying to her hips as she whirled on Zuko.

"It's for official business!" He reddened when he realized just how terrible that sounded. "No, it's not like that! I just go to make sure the girls are getting proper medical care, and that they're being treated fairly. This is better than—"

"_The girls_? Oh no, I'm going with you."

Zuko was clearly about to protest, and she was about to challenge him, but there was a knock at the door, and before either was able to answer, a gust of wind blew through the office, and there was Aang, hugging them both. Katara took some consolation at Zuko's extreme discomfort with his Aang-hug. Aang threw his arms around Zuko's waist, affectionately rubbing his cheek on Zuko's shoulder. Zuko was currently trying to bend back and as far away from Aang as possible, but he could only get so far. Finally, Zuko pried Aang off. Served him right for checking on the well being of women who were no doubt feigning illness so they could touch all on him. She was the only one who had touching privileges.

"Did you get my letter?" Aang asked enthusiastically.

"Yes, quite obviously," Zuko responded, straightening his clothes and trying to regain some of his dignity after that most unmanly hug from Aang.

"Do you have the scrolls ready?"

"You just got here," Katara said, keeping a bit of distance from Aang. "Are you planning on leaving so soon?"

She wasn't quite sure where she and Aang stood after his late night intrusion, and had reacted to his letter with a bit of apprehension. She wanted to be on friendly terms with Aang, but she wasn't sure that Aang was aware that there wasn't anything romantic between them anymore. Aang was also a touchy feely person and enjoyed being close to his friends and hanging on them and hugging and just being near them. His hug with her had been short and friendly; maybe she didn't have to tell him there was nothing romantic between them. Maybe he already picked up on that.

"Well, not so soon," Aang said. "The people and the government need time to figure things out for themselves. I've done what I can to help them, but without them wanting to compromise, I can't do much."

Among other things, Aang's letter detailed how the palace wasn't exactly under siege. It was little more than both sides refusing to compromise and expecting him to do all the work. He'd also requested a whole host of political scrolls he thought might be helpful to Kuei, who really was trying his hardest. He just needed time, but time was one thing no one could afford to give him. With the two sides practically ready to start beating each other with sticks, Kuei needed to be strong and decisive. Which, he wasn't.

"Your majesty," Hau called, knocking on the doorway. Zuko motioned him in. "The finance ministers are gathering for the budget update meeting. The meeting is scheduled to start in ten minutes."

"But wait, I just got here," Aang said dejectedly, trotting off after Zuko as they headed out into the hallways.

"Welcome to my life."

The three friends strode down the hall to Zuko's room in a silence that was, in turns, companionable and odd. Katara hadn't put on Zuko's mantle and crown that morning, but he would need it before the meeting. Of all the great things about her and Zuko's new, public relationship, dressing him as Fire Lord was one of the things she enjoyed most. It was hard to explain the symbolic gesture and just how much it meant to her, but there was something about being entrusted to do such an important job that made her feel like she was important, too. Often standing in front of a room full of servants, she'd lift the mantle from its chest and place it on Zuko's shoulders, fastening the buckles, then pin the Fire Lord's crown in his topknot, and when he stood to face his attendants, they would bow, and Yina would nod approvingly at Katara.

She hadn't been feeling nervous about it until Aang followed them into Zuko's room. Zuko sat down at the vanity, while Aang perched on the bed. Katara could feel Aang's eyes on her as she walked to the chest by the closet and pulled out the mantle. She knew Aang would understand what this meant, and he would probably get upset. When she stopped next to Zuko, she felt a little too warm, but went through with it anyway. It was a difficult conversation she knew she would have to have with Aang sooner rather than later, and that it was unfair of her to keep this from him longer than was necessary. She lowered the mantle onto Zuko's shoulders, and he stood so she could fasten the buckles, guilt twisting in her stomach, just a bit. Katara avoided looking in his eyes as she did so, but she still saw Zuko's confused look.

When the straps were adjusted, Zuko sat down again, and Katara began brushing his hair. She relaxed a little with her back to Aang, but she could still feel his eyes on her, a prickling between her shoulder blades. There was rustling behind her.

"Uh, Katara? I really don't think you should be doing that," Aang said, a little unsure. "I don't think you know—"

"I know what it means, Aang," she said quietly.

Katara bit the inside of her cheek when her voice wavered a bit. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She was doing nothing wrong. She didn't have to explain herself to Aang. They'd been broken up for more than a year. He should have gotten the message.

"No, I think he's right," Zuko said, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

Katara froze, the brush poised for another stroke through Zuko's hair. He couldn't be serious. Not _now_. When she noticed him smiling, she hit him lightly with the brush.

"See—"

"You should do that massaging thing. That's nice. I like that," Zuko said.

Katara tugged Zuko's hair, but she obliged, and he relaxed into her touch as she moved her hands through his hair. He closed his eyes and leaned back against her, letting out a little satisfied moan. She couldn't wait for everyone else to arrive so Zuko could talk to her dad and they could convince him that they didn't have a choice about hiding, that they were in love, and that she was ready to rule as Zuko's Fire Lady. Ty Lee said he'd carved her a betrothal necklace. She didn't think Zuko was good at carving, and wondered what it looked like. Ty Lee said it was beautiful. She began fishing through the drawers. It would be like Zuko to hide something in plain sight, and she'd gone through six drawers, not finding it, when Zuko grabbed her hand before she opened a seventh. He hadn't even opened his eyes. There was no way he could know where she was reaching next. Still without opening his eyes, he placed her hand on the handle of the drawer that held his crown.

"Say, Katara?" Aang asked, sadly, almost inaudibly. "Do you have something to do today?"

Katara shrugged, choosing a gold ribbon for Zuko's hair to match the gold in the mantle and on his shirt. "I thought I might study some of Zuko's stupid charts."

"They're not stupid," Zuko said, reaching back to pinch her thigh.

"Right." Aang's voice was quiet. "I just want to talk."

Katara swallowed hard as she sat the crown in Zuko's topknot and secured it with his favorite hair pin. Of all the people she dreaded telling about her and Zuko, Aang was very close to the top. She didn't know if he was picking up on all the non verbal signals, but he clearly knew that she was performing the duties of a wife for Zuko. What she had done in secret before, she did openly, now. It was a wife's duty to tend to her husband in both the Fire Nation and the South. For the Fire Lord, tending to your husband meant crowning him and helping him into the mantle, which was the symbol of the burden of being a ruler. Every time she put that mantle on him, she was giving her vow to help with that burden as wife and Fire Lady. In the South, it was helping him into his coat and strapping his weapons on him before the hunt, being the guardian and caretaker of her husband's most prized possessions. She was arming him and ensuring his safety, and by extension, the safety of the entire hunting party.

After a minute of dead, tense silence, Zuko spoke up.

"Aang, I need to talk to Katara."

"So. She's right there."

Katara lowered her head so she could see Aang in the mirror. He had his legs folded, and was resting his head on his fist. He looked so _young_, the way he had his bottom lip stuck out, pouting. It was a posture she'd come to know well, and before so much had changed, she'd always been the one to console him, to be encouraging and tell him that it would all work out in the end. It was hard for her to see him as he was—a seventeen year old boy, becoming a man, with new wants, needs, and desires. He picked at the fabric of his pants.

"Aang," Zuko said sternly, the voice of a father to a disobedient child.

"Fine! I'm going…" Aang hopped off Zuko's bed and headed toward the door. "I'll be in the library when you're ready to talk, Katara."

He closed the door behind him, and Zuko and Katara were left where they were: him sitting at the vanity, and Katara standing with her hands on his shoulders. Sighing, Zuko stood and turned to her, his hands rubbing her arms.

"Kitten—"

"I know, Zuko. I know we have to tell him, I just…"

She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to hear the accusation she knew would be in his voice or the anger and the pain. They did have some good moments together. She enjoyed penguin sledding, and riding the mail carts in Omashu. Aang knew fun games, but he didn't know how to just sit and enjoy _her_. He wasn't quite comfortable with silence, or just staying in the house and being around each other and enjoying each other's company. He didn't understand that curling up together in the garden while they read adventure scrolls was just as good an idea for a date as going out to some restaurant where he'd be the center of attention. Where she'd be The Avatar's Girlfriend. Katara didn't think he'd be able to accept those times for what they were without questioning them or her. And that hurt.

"I know he'll want the answers from you, but you don't have to do it alone if you don't want to," Zuko said, pulling her into a hug.

Katara nodded before resting her head on Zuko's chest. He stroked her back before tilting her chin and giving her one of those sweet, chaste kisses that made her heart swell. The kind that promises more passion and love and adoration than all the makeout sessions in the world. He sighed against her lips, and she smiled, gently pushing against him.

"Don't forget your meeting."

"I am so very inclined to."

Zuko nuzzled her neck, and Katara threw her arms around him, giggling. Only briefly did she wonder if Aang heard her, because she knew he would be trying to listen, just outside the door.

* * *

><p>Calla watched as Chem knocked on the back door of a house in the capitol's lower district. She took distinct note of the knocks. Four short, quick raps, pause two seconds, loud knock, pause two seconds, loud knock. The door opened a crack, though she couldn't see the person that opened the door.<p>

"You again?"

Female. Young.

"Yes. I have come for my answer. Will I have your support or not?"

In the silence, Calla studied Chem's face. It was stern, and in the harsh light from inside, she could see bags beginning to form under his eyes. That wasn't a surprise, though; he'd been active since he'd returned to the capitol five days ago. He had his hands shoved inside his sleeves, and while Calla knew him to be no master of any weapons, she made a note to have his room checked when she returned. Those sleeves were good for hiding sharp, dangerous objects, and for the moment, he still had free run of the city. One didn't need to be a master of weapons to stab someone. That part was pretty simple.

"What guarantee can you give me that your information is correct?"

Chem scoffed. "Do you intend for me to bring you financial reports so you can see your nation's wealth? So that you may see the colonies still in his possession? Your family lost everything when he came to power. Isn't that injustice enough on its own?"

The woman stepped outside, closing the door behind her. The lanterns in the alley hadn't been lit yet, so the two figures were shrouded in shadow. There was no way for her to identify this person, but Calla could identify the building. The woman was standing across from Chem, unafraid, her arms crossed. She was a good two heads taller than Chem, and looked to be quite muscular, too.

"I am angry that my family's savings and businesses were reduced to little more than nothing, yes, but that is not enough to justify my joining your army."

"They call you Hammer. Without the anvil to smash your weapon against, what will you do with your life?" There was a bite to Chem's voice as he leaned back to look in the woman's eyes. "Do you think he will open the factories now?"

"You need to make up your mind what you're fighting for. Either this factory I worked at helped to destroy our nation's culture and agriculture, or these factories are our future and need to be brought back. You don't get to play both sides of the fence, hoping you get enough people who just dislike the Fire Lord to do your bidding."

The woman turned and ducked back in the house. She slammed the door in Chem's face. Calla smiled to herself. She was glad to see someone calling Chem on his bullshit double talk. This Hammer might have been one person who turned down Chem, but in five days, he'd already recruited twenty others.

* * *

><p>Ursa hummed quietly as she walked through the palace. She stopped as she rounded a corner and saw Aang standing out on the balcony, rubbing his eyes.<p>

"Avatar Aang?" she called, stepping outside. Night was quickly coming on, and the sky was ablaze with beautiful colors looming over the capitol.

"Just Aang, please."

Ursa gently rubbed his shoulder, pulling him a little closer to her. "Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

She had a pretty good idea. He'd only breezed in earlier that day, but she'd seen him dashing off after Katara on several occasions, only to have his face fall when she told him she was busy. Since Toph seemed to know everything that was going on in their group of friends, Ursa decided to ask. Toph had put things rather…bluntly about Aang and Katara's past. Two sentences, however, couldn't cover the depth of feeling on the young monk's face.

"It won't really make a difference, will it? No matter what I do, I'll never be _him_."

"And is that such a bad thing?"

"When it comes to her."

"I notice you don't mention any names." Ursa turned, resting her hands on the railing.

"Katara. And Zuko. But then you'd probably take his side."

Ursa smiled softly at Aang. "Well, there doesn't seem much reason for them to hide now, does there? I don't see where the harm in them talking to you is. Were you and Katara dating recently?"

Aang looked out over the city, not saying anything for several long moments. He tried to speak, but his voice came out chocked and he snapped his mouth closed before taking several deep breaths. Ursa felt her heart twist, watching the young Avatar struggle with his emotions like this. Perhaps there was still much for her to learn about Katara and Zuko's relationship.

"Not recently," Aang finally said. "But I've loved her since the moment I saw her. Before she even spoke I felt it deep inside me. That we were supposed to be together."

Ursa pulled Aang into a hug, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead as much to comfort as to hide her shock. She held him close as he took a shuddering breath, holding her tightly.

Well. What do you say to that?

* * *

><p>AN: Sometimes, I am an Ursa multi-shipper :D I've imagined her and Iroh to have a very close relationship, and I like to think that, from time to time, one or the other thinks about what could have been. In any event, old debts are repaid, and the score is even, now. Also, as I was writing this story, it occured to me that I didn't have Chem doing anything illegal. Yes, he is an annoying, delusional ass, and he talks a big game, but he hasn't done anything illegal yet. He's certainly not making it hard to find evidence against him, though.

And now for a brief note about Katara being Captain Avoid-y: I think that the gaang has a tendency to protect Aang from the bad things in life. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with seeing him as the younger brother, and wanting to protect him. As chief protector, I think Katara would probably be the worst at this. In S1, when they went to the Southern Air Temple, Katara dances around saying the Fire Nation killed all the Air Nomads. Granted, this is news you want to break gently, but I can see this getting...I don't know, worse isn't quite the word. It's hard for me to see Aang as anything other than he is in the series, and I think this would hold true for certain members of the gaang. It's like watching your little brother grow up, and realizing that, holy crap, he's not a kid anymore. And see? Aang's not as unobservant as the world thinks. This may cause some problems later...


	22. Pedestal

Katara was a complete and total coward. She'd largely avoided being alone with Aang where he might start up awkward conversations for the past two days. If she could hold out until early evening, their family's ship would arrive, and then Zuko could propose, and possibly they could bypass this whole thing. It was clear he understood that they weren't together, and that she was in love with Zuko. No one would have to say harsh words, and no one's feelings would be hurt. It wold be one less difficult conversation to have. Once you start keeping things from people to protect them, it becomes a hard habit to break.

Zuko, however, was not pleased. He'd even gone so far as to refuse to cuddle with her for the past two days, even though it meant he got no cuddles, either, proving just how angry he was. So, for some odd reason, Katara went to talk to Toph. Toph just laughed in her face. In fact, it went _beyond_ a laugh. Toph was in cackle territory.

"Seriously, this is like, the _one time_ ever in the history of all the ever there ever was that you and Twinks would switch roles!" She slapped her knee. "As his teacher, isn't it your duty to _praise_ him for standing his ground? I mean, you _totally_ owe him an explanation, no matter how hard it is for you to own up to it."

Katara frowned hard at Toph. "I didn't come here for—"

"I don't care what you came here for, Sugar Queen, this is what you get."

"You know what, Toph? I thought you were my friend."

Toph smiled. "I am your friend, and this is called Toph Love. Take it or get out." Toph pointed at the doorway.

"This isn't even your office!" Katara yelled, huffing, as she slammed the door. "Dammit!" She stamped her foot, realizing she'd just proved Toph right, and hating that bossy, stubborn, know it all for laughing even louder.

Katara sought refuge in one of the lesser known tea shops. In the palace, where Aang was still diligently carrying out his research for Kuei, she was more likely to run into him. And he knew the places she liked to frequent, so there was the chance that he'd visit those shops hoping to find her. In this little out of the way place, she felt most secure. Apparently, so did someone else.

"What're you doing here?" Katara asked, sitting at the table with Azula.

Azula was casting wary looks around the restaurant, trying to blend in with the barely there shadows of early afternoon.

"I'm hiding from Aang." She glared at Katara. "You won't talk to him, so for some reason, he keeps coming to me. He won't talk to Toph, and Ty Lee keeps finding dates to go on. Uncle gives him confusing advice, Jun tells him to give it up… Why are Uncle and Jun together?"

Katara shrugged. "We don't ask questions about that. But Aang's run through everyone else? Are you sure?"

Azula rolled her eyes and sipped her tea. "Yes, I'm sure. He really likes you. What made you choose _Zuko_ over him?"

Katara was a little confused by Azula's question. She'd thought that Azula liked the thought of her and Zuko together, that if someone could like Zuko, then someone could like her and accept all her madness and complications. She would do her best to give an honest answer. Explaining why you love someone wasn't exactly an easy thing to do. So, she started with Aang.

"I…I don't know that Aang likes _me_ so much as…I don't know. What I did for him? Who I was to him? But if there was me, and another girl exactly like me only she was a vegetarian, I can't say for sure that Aang would pick me."

That was as concrete as she could make her relationship with Aang without going on forever about small details that bothered her. To Aang, she was a good friend, someone who looked after him and kept him company, who was easy to talk to, and whom he thought was pretty. That might have been fine for him, but she'd wanted more. She needed more than to just be a pretty best friend.

She knew she was taking a risk, but Katara took Azula's hands in hers and looked into her eyes, hoping to impress all of this in her mind.

"Zuko _gets_ me. He doesn't expect me to be anything other than I am. He pushes me to be the best, and he never treats me like I'm a fragile doll, or like I'm some absolutely pure…thing. I can share my secrets with him, and he won't love me any less. I can't be who Aang wants me to be."

Azula sat quietly, an odd change coming over her face. For a moment, Katara thought Azula might break down, and was preparing herself to offer comfort and quickly remove her friend from the situation if needed. She was completely unprepared for that sly, cunning smile that oozed its way onto Azula's face, her gold eyes sharp, piercing, mocking.

"Now, why can't you tell him this and save the rest of us the headache?"

Katara made an indignant noise and threw down Azula's hands. "I can't believe you! I'm trying to have a heart to heart with you—"

"What made you think _I_ was the best person for that?"

Azula had her good days and her bad days. This was a good day. Sometimes Katara wished she wasn't feeling _that_ good.

* * *

><p>Ozai paced in his cell. There wasn't much else for him to do. There were days he was convinced that Zuko's only purpose for letting him rot in prison was to make him insane. He was not allowed outside, even for exercise. He got no reading material. He was not allowed any news. He was not allowed visitors. He still had his supporters, though, and news and visitors were not always out of his reach. He was also not allowed to send messages, but had convinced the guards to take a few to his son, anyway.<p>

That was how he passed his time. Sending annoying messages to his son while that idiot boy ruined everything Ozai ever worked for. _This_ was the Avatar's justice. Let him rot in prison and think on his wrongs. These were the miserable understandings of a pacifist child. If he'd won that war, he would have had them all executed. He probably would have done it himself, and he was sure he'd take _extreme_ pleasure in it.

The doors opened and harsh light poured in.

"Come for more advice on how to properly run this country? Or are you here to finally tell me that I was right all along? That your Avatar needs to be killed? I hear he's still chasing after your girl. You can't even do that right, can you?"

Zuko did not take the bait as he had on every other occasion, and Ozai narrowed his focus even further, determined to find out what was different, this time. This was the way things worked: Ozai baited, and that boy bit. This was his only other amusement since it was clear he would neither be released nor broken out anytime soon. Next time one of his supporters came, he would have to lecture them about their lack of attempts to free him.

"Are you still picking battles you can't win, Ozai?" a familiar, feminine voice taunted.

Old rage flew up from the pit of his stomach, and Ozai could have sworn he had his bending back. He prided himself on his sharp senses, but to have completely missed her… _Her_, of all people, who had consumed so many of his thoughts. The first image that always came to mind whenever he thought of Ursa was on their wedding day. It was the first time he fully saw her, without that stupid traditional veil of hers obscuring her face. Her eyes were like liquid gold and fierce with passion. She'd worn the wealth of her island, her dress more complicated than the one Iroh's wife had worn on her wedding day. She was a delicately shaped mass of red and gold and black, strings of gold and onyx braided into her hair, rubies and garnets adorning her slippers. Lips and body soft and deceptive as sin. Her father arranged for spectators to throw flower petals into the wind, and the air had been tainted with a scent he'd always come to associate with her. It was one reason he'd burned the lotus lily fields in Kirachu. She was a symbol of every way the universe hated him. She was the best thing his father had ever given him.

In the dark of the cell, Ozai regarded his wife. Memories of her beauty were inevitably followed by the anger at her betrayals. In front of a hallway full of people, Iroh had shouted it. You don't get to play both sides like that, Iroh had said. Every secret he told her, ever plan she knew of, she whispered to Iroh. With that information, Iroh was able to best him at nearly every turn. She hid Azula's bending from him until the girl was three. Ursa was the poison in his cup every day they were married, constantly working to deny him what was his. People laughed at him, sneered and said he would always be second best. That his own _wife_ preferred Iroh.

"Do you know how many years your mother worked just to make sure I would never have the crown?" Ozai asked, sneering at Zuko. "Do you know the things she's done? So much time, so much effort. Then you came and spit it back in her face—"

"Stop it."

Ozai did not want to look at her. She alone had done what Azulon could never manage. Commands he ignored from Azulon sounded so much sweeter when they came from her pretty little mouth. He would not imagine her hands on him, the way she stood up to him and matched his fire and passion. He would not imagine what it felt like to have her next to him every night, and how she had lied in his face so many times. He would not remember how much of a _fool_ he'd been for her, time and time again.

"Tell your son the truth," Ozai growled, looking at some point beyond her.

"He already knows. Iroh told him about our past."

"But words sound _so_ different when they come from your mouth." She was the only one who held sway over him like that. The only one to keep hurting him.

Ursa turned to Zuko, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Perhaps you should help Katara speak to Aang."

"I don't trust him alone with you."

"Come now, Zuko," Ursa said softly, her hand resting on Zuko's unscarred cheek. "We keep our dogs caged for a reason."

Ozai could see him caving in to her demands. That boy was just as much a fool for her as he had been. He would get no warning, and Ozai would gloat when she betrayed him, too.

"Don't worry." He could hear the smile in her voice and see that smile in his mind. "He's done his worst against me. And yet, here I am."

Ozai couldn't even meet Zuko's eyes when he glared. She would have the upper hand no matter what the conversation was. She woud be calm, and he would be the one, still angry, still without a satisfactory answer.

"I could have given you everything, and you threw it back at me," he said the moment the door was closed, coming to stand right at the bars.

"I did not want what you could give me, Ozai."

"Then you should have pretended that you did. I am your husband and you obey me."

Ursa took a few steps toward the bars, smiling a predatory smile like the one he'd smiled at her so many times before. "When have I _ever_ obeyed you, Ozai?"

He was a fool for not stepping out of her touch. Azulon and Iroh would have shipped him off to the colonies, made him governor of some semi-important colony. He would have been brushed aside, he who was the stronger of the brothers. Then she came, and because she was there, for a fleeting moment, he was worthy. Then she humiliated him, found every crack and brought it to his father's attention, argued without words that he wasn't _fit_ to be Fire Lord.

"I have a proposition for you," Ursa said, running her thumb over his lips in a gentle caress.

"Are you asking, or is he asking?" He would block out images of other gentle caresses.

"I am asking. He's probably out there worrying and trying to listen, but so long as you keep your voice down, he will not know what is said. This is meant to be a contract between the two of us."

"Why are you doing this for him?" Ozai stepped out of her reach. "And why are you coming to me?"

"I am coming to you because we have a common enemy. Few people hate Chem more than you do, and you _will_ help me." Her voice was harsh.

Ozai smiled triumphantly. He knew that bastard was worth shit in a pot. "Oh, that is rich indeed, my little wife. And why do you want my help?" He would not pretend that he was powerless and without friends. He'd never pretended that. Ursa was too smart for that.

"Chem has become warped and corrupted through the years, and I can no longer trust him."

"Then kill him."

"I can't. It's not my choice."

"And was it ever your choice before? Suddenly you seem to have found a deep respect for the chain of command. Be _his_ mongrel, groveling at his feet. You're perfect for that role."

Ursa turned away. He knew her secrets, too, and wasn't inclined to let her get off so easily.

"You will give me something in return for this, or I'll have your boy's head delivered to you."

"I don't know what makes you think you'll be successful _this time_ when so many others have failed," she shot back, fire blazing in her eyes.

When she smiled, Ozai could have clawed her face to shreds with his bare hands. His generals were right: he should have purged her from his system a long time ago.

* * *

><p>Katara had almost reached her goal. The ship from the South should be docking within the hour, and she hadn't seen Aang all day. She would have preferred to spend her time doing other things, but at least she was productive when she was cooped up in Zuko's office. She'd finally made sense of his stupid color coding, and realized it wasn't so stupid after all, and it oddly reflected Zuko's deep love for structure and order. She also took the liberty of sorting through his mail for him. He liked organization, and he would know the instant something was out of place, or if something was filed wrong. It would be a nice surprise for him to see that she already knew his filing system. Of course, she'd spent enough time watching him through the years to pick up on it.<p>

As a result of her increased productivity, Katara was feeling rather proud of herself. She wasn't paying much attention, and when she rounded the corner, she ran into someone.

"Finally!"

It was Aang, and he threw his arms around her when she tried to run away.

"You've been avoiding me since I got here, Katara. What happened? We used to be able to talk to each other."

His voice was sad and quiet, lamenting all the ways they had been with each other. It hurt to hear him sound like that, to think that she was the cause of the pain he would feel. When he let her go, she did not run away. He did not reach out to her.

"I'm not running. I'm just…let's go to the gardens to have a bit of privacy."

Instinctively, Katara went straight to the turtleduck pond. She sat, and Aang sat close to her, but maintained a distance that showed not only in his body, but in his eyes. He looked at her briefly, his large eyes questioning. Again, Katara looked and saw all the ways Aang was changing. He was taller, and his body was still lean, but the baby fat in his face was beginning to drip away. She didn't know how to start this conversation, and Aang seemed intent on letting her be the one to say it all.

"We're not together anymore—"

"That's always been our thing, Katara. We're together for a while, then we break up, sure, but we always get back together. I thought—"

"We broke up more than a year ago, Aang. I said that was the last time."

She couldn't bring herself to look at him, and maybe that made her a coward, but she couldn't do it. Instead, she focused on the turtleducks. They came to her looking for food, but she had none to give, so she rubbed their heads instead.

"Your actual words, Katara, were that we both needed some space to grow and to learn about ourselves and what our priorities were. I didn't know your priorities included Zuko."

Aang started to stand, but Katara grabbed his pant leg.

"Aang, no—"

"You know what hurts the most? That neither of you _respected_ me enough to say anything. That you thought I was stupid, naïve, and _deaf_, and wouldn't hear the way everyone talks about you."

Katara winced. "Aang, that's not what we thought at all. I didn't want to hurt you—"

"And you think this is better?" Aang threw his arms open, looking down at her, his chest heaving. "Do you have any idea how it makes me feel to come here and have to listen to the servants talk about moving your clothes into his room, or how they'll have to bring up all the Fire Lady's stuff from the vaults? I…"

Aang cut himself off as his voice faltered. He tried again several times to speak, but his words failed him, and he paced, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"I _love_ you, Katara, and I just don't understand…"

"I shouldn't have avoided you, Aang, you're right." Katara stood so she could face Aang. "I didn't know how to tell you, and I didn't want to hurt you—"

"Isn't that one of those things that people always say but never mean? You didn't want to hurt me, Katara, but you did. You _have_. We were supposed to be friends."

"We _are_ friends."

"I don't know that we are."

"How could you say that?" Katara shakily reached out to Aang.

"Because if you were my friend, you would have said something."

"It's not like we were having an affair, Aang—"

"You might as well have had one."

Aang left her in the garden. He didn't even turn around to look at her.

* * *

><p>This may be a downer chapter, but I've got so much love for it. This is continuing the theme of Katara protecting Aang from the harsh things in life. It's always a problem when you don't realize the person's growing up and are very much recognizing these things on their own. Finally, Aang confronts Katara about it, and she really doesn't have a good reason for why she couldn't tell him anything. To me, Kataang is almost like a sweet childhood romance that has more penguin sledding than romance. Largely, this hinges on Katara's age. In series, she's at that point where a girl starts getting into romance, but Aang's just not there yet. I can see them breaking up when they get annoyed with each other, then getting back together. It's not a healthy relationship, but it's the only one Aang's known, so it's the norm for him. He doesn't see anything wrong with it. On top of it, he's slowly getting to the romance place (at 17, because I think he's a late bloomer), but Katara's already been there, and her needs have moved to the next stage. I didn't want to write an easy Zutara resolution where everyone's ok with everything, and with the situation I've crafted, it can't really end that way. Someone's got to get hurt, and in this case, it's both Aang and Katara. The issue here is honesty and communication, and I don't think they'd do that terribly well. Not when it comes to this, at least.<p>

And my other favorite scene here is the Ursa/Ozai. I couldn't write this story, and _not_ have Ursa speak with her husband. I think the two of them had a very volatile relationship, in no small part because of Ozai's ambition and personality. He wants to be on top all the time (well, literally and figuratively), and I don't think he'd take kindly to someone coming in an disobeying him. At the same time, I see him developing a certain amount of respect for the woman who stands up to him and looks him in the eye and defies him. Sure, it would become a battle of dominance, and Ozai would win because he's physically stronger, and he's a bender while she's not, but he'd be pissed and bitter about it. So, yeah, at some point I think Ozai loved Ursa in his own Ozai way.

And this is Toph Love, baby. Deal with it or get out. I love Toph.


	23. Sails on the Horizon

Two ships sailed past the Gates of Azulon as the sun was beginning to set. General Jee skimmed through the copy of one of Chem's letters. He was looking for a large group from Senlin Village. Chem had designated it as one of the rendezvous points for his army, and from there, they would set sail for the Fire Nation. One of the ships approaching the gates was of Fire Nation build, and the other Water Tribe. The Water Tribe ship would dock first, and the people would be checked as a purely routine gesture. This would be Chief Hakoda and his family from the South coming to bless the union of Fire Lord Zuko and Ambassador Katara. At least that's what people were going to say. Jee had his doubts about how happy the Chief would be to know his daughter had been lying to his face for who knows how long. Jee frowned. He certainly wouldn't be happy to hear that, no matter who his daughter's secret boyfriend was.

He peered through the telescope at the other ship, a little behind the larger Water Tribe vessel. It looked to be passenger class, one of the refurbished Fire Nation naval ships that had been sold to the Earth Kingdom after the war. This boat would be checked thoroughly, and they would detain it well into the night if they had to. That meeting to decide what to do about the threat that was Chem was repeated four more times, and they'd finally come up with a solution. All ships would be stopped for a customs check, soldiers would go on board to check passports as well, and casually mention Chem's name. Those who visibly reacted would get a certain stamp in their book. Those books would have to be shown again at the docks, where their names, some addresses, and other identifying information could be gathered. It wouldn't catch everyone, and it sounded extremely complicated, but no one had been entirely comfortable with the alternative of letting everyone pool near Chem without being at least tallied first.

Below his perch in the watchtower, a bell was being rung, signaling for the ships to slow down. A whistle blew, and the Gates of Azulon were lowered. As expected, the Water Tribe vessel carried only the extended royal family. The check on their ship was cursory, and Jee offered a few words of congratulations. When asked why there were customs checks, Jee gave the agreed upon response. Fire Lord Zuko had initiated random checks, hoping to cut down on harmful smuggling.

The Earth Kingdom ship proved harder to search than they expected. The soldiers were meticulous as they went through the passports of its 500 passengers.

Of those, 284 visibly responded to Chem's name.

* * *

><p>The evening was quickly cooling off, and Katara snuggled closer to Zuko. They were sitting by the turtleduck pond with a pile of scrolls and a few moon peaches, which Zuko was feeding her. He was telling her about the hospitals that she would be in charge of as Fire Lady. She leaned back against his chest, and he kissed her cheek.<p>

"The hospitals here in the capitol are the best, but that's just because it's easier to keep an eye on them. The further out they are, the more work that needs to be done. Ember Island's pretty good, too, but that's because it's a huge tourist trap."

Katara smiled and rubbed his cheek, accepting another slice of peach. "What's my budget?"

"Well, at the yearly budget meeting, you get to fight it out with every other department."

Zuko put the scroll down, and she turned in his arms a bit, planting little kisses on his jaw.

"You make all the final decisions, right?"

"Yes, for now. Until you're crowned and we're married."

"Can I bribe you?"

"Depends on what you're offering me, Kitten."

His arms were warm around her, holding her to him, and she kissed him, her hand moving across his scar. These private, intimate moments always caused flutters in the pit of Katara's stomach, and they just made her feel so young and carefree. In those moments, it was only the two of them; there was no civil unrest, no murderers, no assassination attempts. There was no trouble when they were alone and in each others arms. She giggled when Zuko kissed along her neck before coming back to her lips, his arms tightening around her even more.

"Yes, 'Kitten.' What bribes are you planning to offer him?"

They sprang apart, startled, embarrassed. Nervous.

"Dad…"

Hakoda was standing above them, his arms crossed and his face stern. His eyes moved between the two of them, assessing them, their words, their closeness, and Katara felt a deep urge to straighten her clothes, as if she'd been caught doing something dirty. Zuko was very much avoiding eye contact, finding the grass in front of him interesting. The silence hung dead in the air, but no matter how uncomfortable it became, Katara couldn't bring herself to break it.

"You call her Kitten?"

Zuko blushed, shrugging and pulling up a patch of grass.

Hakoda snorted. "That's cute."

He shook his head and held his arms open, and Katara hugged her father tightly, noting the way he felt stiff against her, and wondering why his tone couldn't have been less ambiguous.

"I thought Hau was supposed to come get us when you guys arrived," Katara said as she stepped back, feeling like a six year old girl again.

"He was, but I said we had to talk, so I volunteered. Everyone else is waiting in the large sitting room by the dining halls." He inclined his head toward Zuko. "Your mother's a very nice woman."

"Yeah," Zuko muttered. "I'm glad to have her back."

"Well, come on then," Hakoda said with a sigh. "I'd like to talk to the both of you."

Zuko nodded and stood, but he didn't move. Katara took his hands and gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile, or at least more reassuring than nervous. Zuko was watching Hakoda, who was watching them, and the three stood immobile. The tension was too much for Katara, even with her back to her father, and she was going to make the first move when Zuko pecked her on the cheek, squeezed her hand, and started walking. Hakoda fell in line behind them, and Katara could feel his eyes on her back. It was the same with Aang; that prickly feeling between her shoulder blades that made her want to scratch. As they passed a servant, Zuko gave quick instructions to have the scrolls removed from the garden and return to the library. The servant bowed to them both, and when he gave a polite "my lady" to her, Hakoda made a little noise of surprise. Perhaps she should explain that it was something they'd always done. Or maybe that would make it worse.

Inside the office, with the door closed behind them and orders given that they not be disturbed, Katara tried to fight off panic. Hakoda was looking at everything as if he hadn't been in Zuko's office before. Really, it almost was as if he was seeing it for the first time, since changes had been made. Zuko's big tax schedule was still pinned to the wall across from the desk, which now had an extra place setting and writing materials. Most importantly, there was another chair set out, and it was this chair that drew Hakoda's attention for the longest. Katara watched her father study the plush red cushions and the gold detailing in the wood. His eyes traveled up the tall back of the chair to come to rest on the ornate woodwork that mimicked the Fire Lady's crown. She very nearly hyperventilated, seeing the disapproval spread quickly across her father's face. What was he to think when confronted with the excitement from the palace staff? It clearly looked as if she was already married to Zuko.

"So, it seems you two were going ahead without my input, and that asking me was just a courtesy."

Zuko winced, gesturing wildly. "It's not… We weren't." He let out a panicked groan, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I got caught up in the moment. I should have reigned in my staff. It's just… I thought… I'm sorry."

"I'm very disappointed in both of you," Hakoda said, moving to look out the window and keeping his back to them. "I've had a lot of time to think back on all those times when I was so sure that something more had to be going on. Best friends didn't sit like that, I told myself. And _Zuko_ certainly wouldn't let just anyone play in his hair, best friend or no."

Katara remembered the time her father was talking about, particularly because she and Zuko were very careful about letting their guards down, and there were even fewer times when Hakoda might have seen them. It was during one of the peace summits hosted by the South, and Zuko was staying at her father's house. She and Zuko had thought everyone was already in bed, and they'd relaxed in front of the fire to unload about their frustrations with the day's meetings. They had been exceptionally close, and his head may or may not have been in her lap. And maybe she did play in his hair, braiding sections of it as she was wont to do. To think that Hakoda had seen that and kept his opinions to himself… Nervously, Katara pinched at her dress, her hands shaking, and Zuko laid his hand over hers.

Hakoda shook his head. "Best friends most certainly do not kiss each other. Even if people say firelight lends an air of romance to any setting."

Katara's heart dropped, and she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, and she was supremely glad that her father's back was to them. She and Zuko shared a horrified glance before he tried to sputter some kind of denial, but Katara was too dumbstruck to try to help. They did kiss that time, shortly before going to bed. Katara closed her eyes and moistened her lips, hoping they wouldn't stick together when her brain was finally well enough to form words. She remembered that Zuko had still had some of the braids in his hair that time, and she'd been thinking about blue beads and white beads. He'd smiled before cupping her cheeks and kissing her, tentative and all the more exciting because their family was just upstairs. She remembered the way he'd been warm and cozy, the way the fire flared up briefly when his lips touched hers, the way he caressed her face afterwards as he held her close to his chest. She remembered the way she nuzzled his neck and thought about how perfect that moment was.

"Relax," Hakoda said, a slight chuckle in his voice. "I'm not so old that I don't remember what love looks like. Or feels like."

"I'm sorry," Zuko said. "There are probably so many things we could have done differently."

"There are, and I'm not going to let you off the hook for that. Whatever maturity the two of you might have shown in knowing you had to let each other go was counteracted by everything that followed."

There was silence again, and Katara's heart was beating quickly, and she would have given nearly anything to read his thoughts. He wasn't yelling and raging, which was good, but then he still seemed distant, as if he was trying to reach them through a thick fog. She nudged Zuko, tried to silently get his thoughts, but he looked just as lost and worried as she did. His hand was still on hers, and he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

"If you don't mind, Katara," Hakoda said, turning to face them, "I'd like to speak with Zuko alone, now."

Katara hesitated, frozen to her seat. She turned to Zuko and he nodded, and she turned to her father, and he raised an eyebrow. Reluctantly, Katara stood, and Zuko stood with her. She threw her arms around his neck, and he hugged her close, as she whispered that she loved him. In the silence of the room, she knew there was no way her father couldn't have heard it. Just like there was no way he could miss Zuko returning her love. As soon as she closed the door behind her, though, Katara ran right into Suki.

"Katara!" Suki threw her arms around her friend. "There you are. I've been looking all over for you."

"Sorry," Katara said, returning the hug. "Just had a little meeting with Dad and Zuko."

"Business so soon? We just got here."

Katara stopped dead, her feet unable to move forward. She sighed heavily. Neither Sokka nor Hakoda told her anything. Why did she always end up telling people about her relationship with Zuko? Why couldn't Suki have run into Zuko first? She sighed, and was about to go ahead with her confession when she saw Suki's new green necklace.

"Oh great sages, Tui and La!" she screamed, throwing her arms around Suki's neck. "He did it! He proposed!"

Katara squealed and bounced, and she quizzed Suki on every detail as they walked toward the sitting room where their family waited. Suki was more than happy to gush about the way Sokka had given no hint that the day was a special one. They'd talked about what it was like to be chief, and they'd gone over some more of the tribe's business, like imports and exports, immigration, tourists, new businesses, and the like. Then they'd had dinner with the family, but after dinner, Sokka wanted to take a walk.

"It was so romantic, Katara," Suki said wistfully, looking off into the distance. "We watched the Southern Lights, and there were so many beautiful colors in the sky, and Sokka turned to me, and he started saying just how much he loved me. I didn't think anything of it, because Sokka had been saying that more and more often lately, and then he pulled out the necklace and…"

Suki wiped at a tear, and Katara hugged her friend again. She wondered how Zuko would officially propose. She knew he was a hopeless romantic like his uncle, even if he did try to hide it. He might try to make a day of it. But with Chem looming over them, that likely wasn't going to happen. They would have to stay close to the palace. They'd already received the message from Jee saying that 284 more of Chem's people showed up. That meant there was a total of 304 people in the capitol who supported Chem, including the people he was currently trying to recruit. It wasn't even a fraction of the army at the Fire Nation's disposal, but no one wanted fighting in the capitol. Zuko could be crafty, though. He would find some way to make it romantic. This was, of course, assuming that her father said yes.

Then she started drifting over to her favorite daydream topic. She'd already written down the part about convincing the Fire Sages that the wedding should be in the early summer. Zuko would back her up on that. With cool temperatures, she could probably add a little fur on her dress to make it more like the dresses brides wear in the South. But if she had fur, she'd have to go with a different material. She couldn't use any of the light, delicate fabrics she loved to wear when she was in the Fire Nation. She fingered the fabric of her dress. That would take a bit of puzzling out…

"Ugh, Katara, I've been talking to you for the past three minutes!" Suki threw her hands up. "What _are_ you daydreaming about?"

"My wedding dress."

Katara's eyes grew wide and she covered her mouth. She hadn't even thought about her answer, and now she was stuck. Katara had fully intended to make Zuko tell Suki about them. Maybe Zuko was right; she should probably leave the planning to him. Everything seemed to be blowing up in her face recently.

"Who are you marrying?"

Katara cringed at her friend's angry, probing look. "Zuko…"

Suki narrowed her eyes and jabbed Katara's shoulder.

"Hey—!"

"I knew it. I _knew_ it! I saw you two humping each other in the hallway when you came to Kiyoshi a couple years ago, but then I said that you would _never_ keep a thing like that secret. It _had_ to be the alcohol. I argued with Ty Lee when she started talking about your auras flowing together. I told her she was just getting mixed up because you two were such good friends."

While Suki ranted, Katara tried to move her arm. She couldn't. Ramming her shoulder into the large double doors to the sitting room, Katara forced them open much harder than the well maintained hinges warranted, causing them to slam against the wall.

"Gran, Suki chi blocked me!" she yelled.

"Only because she was hiding her love affair with Zuko!"

All conversation stopped, and everyone turned toward them. There was nearly a minute of uncomfortable, terse silence. Particularly from the corner where Aang was sitting.

"They weren't hiding it all that well," Jun finally said, raising an eyebrow in their direction.

"I'll say," Sokka agreed, downing whatever was in his cup.

Suki made an indignant huffing noise and went to cuddle up next to Sokka, leaving Katara standing there, facing her family alone, with a chi-blocked arm, and wondering just how in the world everyone could have known. Toph was clear. She'd been there in the beginning, had known nearly every detail. Iroh would have deeply suspected, and probably wouldn't have accepted it if they _were_ just friends. Despite the denials, Katara was still convinced her grandmother was psychic, and had taken to guarding her thoughts when she was near. Jun just acted like she could divine things, and since she decided that something was going on between her and Zuko back when they were still enemies, _nothing_ could make Jun think differently. Ty Lee…well, that was an accident, and Azula had picked up on something back when Zuko and Katara would visit her in the hospital.

In fact, no one truly seemed caught off guard. Including Pakku. Katara now had reason to believe that her grandmother had spoken to Pakku, or at least her insistence that she and Zuko spend quality time together had tipped him off. Aang wouldn't even look at her, and Katara firmly made up her mind that she'd do something to patch their relationship. She didn't want anything in their family to be awkward, and Toph had been right—she and Zuko owed Aang an explanation and a true apology. She knew he was hurt because he did think they were destined to be together, and under completely different circumstances, she would have agreed. Ursa looked between the two of them and smiled sadly in Aang's direction.

Slowly, conversation started again, and Katara went around greeting her family and spending time with them. Every time she moved toward Aang, though, he found somewhere else to be.

* * *

><p>Finding support in the capitol was much harder than Chem thought it would be. To make matters worse, he was almost positive that he was being followed. He'd turn a corner, and see a shadow move from the corner of his eye, but when he turned around, nothing was there. It was making him jittery which, no doubt, did not help when trying to woo the nobles. He could tell there were many who did not like the Fire Lord and the way he demanded things of them. He could see the resentment in their eyes; it was lingering there, not even below the surface, but they would not act on it.<p>

Some of them, he called cowards. They laughed and slammed the door in his face, but not before calling him an idiot. This was _his_ city, they said. No matter what they thought of him, in this city, he was untouchable.

When the door was closed and Chem stood alone on unlighted porches, the shadows reaching out to capture him and bring him into the clutches of a mad man, Chem laughed. They did not understand that he could be killed just as easily as the rest of them. It was not a question of how, but of when. It would happen, and they would regret slamming their doors in his face. Chem had the resources. He had the anger and the passion and the love for his country that would see him through to the end.

The night was cool, and he slowly made his way back to the palace. He thought the Fire Lord was simply ignoring him, but as a bird cawed and a shadow moved, Chem began to question that. He kept his head down as he walked, still sure to eye the world around him. The streets were still crowded, and between the passing citizens, Chem was firmly aware of the guards. Everyone had their eyes on him.

He was stopped briefly at the palace gates.

"We have to check you for weapons."

"In case you haven't heard," Chem said, his lip curled in a snarl, "I am a _secretary_. I do not carry weapons."

The two guards smiled to each other. He was a joke to them. They would all turn their backs, they would all underestimate him, they would all pay for their mistakes.

* * *

><p>AN: :3 Not much to say about this chapter other than, "get ready for it!" And by "it," I mean all sorts of tomfoolery and shenanigans.


	24. Will You? Yes, I Will

Even though there was conversation, the dinner they'd shared that evening was one of the most awkward and uncomfortable that the family ever shared. Zuko and Hakoda never showed up, and when pressed, all the servants would say was that they were still in their meeting, and would be taking dinner there. It sat a knot firmly in Katara's stomach that made eating and enjoying her family's company near impossible. Ursa had done her best to diffuse tension, and she moved conversation around artfully, making sure no one was left out. It highlighted the lack of conversation they were making on their own.

After dinner, everyone returned to the sitting room. Hakoda strode in, his face blank, and wrapped Katara firmly in a hug.

"I am so sorry, Katara," he said, kissing her forehead.

He would say nothing else, even going so far as to avoid her when she tried to talk to him. A numbness started to creep into Katara's limbs, and she wasn't sure that she was even breathing anymore. She could read nothing from her father, and most of the time, he kept his back to her. She hoped that she explained everything to him. She hoped that she made him understand, but the more he moved away from her, the more she doubted that it meant anything.

Katara found herself sticking by Ursa as she got to know everyone. Ursa was moving effortlessly among the family, quick to pick up details and personalities. She noted how Hakoda and Sokka shared and odd and sarcastic sense of humor, that Gran thoroughly had Pakku under her control, and that Ty Lee was still as bubbly as ever. Katara was surprised when Ursa went to talk to Iroh, and Jun was still staring the woman down. Ursa finished her conversation with Iroh, ignoring Jun's look, then moved to speak with Hakoda again. Iroh, however, wasn't so lucky; Jun was boring a whole in the side of his head.

"Everything's going to work out fine, little one," Ursa said about an hour later, rubbing Katara's back as they walked the room. "Your father loves you and wants to see you happy."

"Then why won't he come near me? All he said was that he was sorry."

Ursa held Katara close in a warm hug, but she didn't miss the way Ursa smiled, as if she knew something.

Katara moved nervously from one person to the next, too aware that both her father and Aang were almost constantly moving away from her. Hakoda kept looking in her direction, and deliberately putting more distance between them, and Katara resolved that she would just corner him and get a final answer, but he kept finding people to talk to. She tugged nervously at her hair, fighting back despair and tears, and was about to bombard Hakoda's conversation when Zuko came in.

He took a deep breath and walked over to her. Her heart was thrumming in her ears when he took her face in his hands and kissed her with every ounce of passion he had, shock thoroughly reverberating through her body. She could barely hear Ty Lee squealing with delight as she fisted her hands in his shirt. He smiled against her lips as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, but he responded, deepening the kiss in kind, before he tried to end the it, but she bit his lip, not wanting to hear any devastating news.

"They've got to come up for air," Sokka was whispering. "I mean…man. And _that's_ my sister shoving her tongue in his mouth."

Zuko's hand slipped to the back of her neck where he moved his fingers in slow circles, making her sigh. When she did, he gave her a quick peck before pulling out of her reach. He smiled at her, and there was so much love and sincerity in his face.

"I love you, Katara. And if…if you can truly accept me as Zuko and as the Fire Lord…" He ran his thumbs over her cheeks. "You mean so much to me. And I want you by my side, as my wife, as my Fire Lady, as my equal, until the day I die. Will you do me the honor?"

Katara's knees buckled and she was laughing and crying and kissing every inch of his face, because that wasn't a final goodbye. It was a proper marriage proposal. She threw her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and kissed him again, and when she couldn't remember if she'd actually said yes, she kept saying it, over and over, like the sweetest prayer. There was clapping and cheering and shouts that it was about time. Then she really was crying and her kisses and her words became sloppy as Zuko eased her down, and he buried his face in her hair, because this was they way they were meant to be. Sneaking around and hiding in dark corners wasn't them. She pulled back and kissed him again, kissed his scar.

When she turned to look at her family, she saw that even Aang had tears in his eyes and a small smile on his face. It was a pained smile but she would take it. She took it as a sign that maybe he wasn't too upset after all, that he just needed time to adjust to the idea that there would never be a them again. Hakoda was smiling widely, his arms crossed, and Katara could have thrown something at him. He'd made her suffer on purpose. Zuko was undoing the clasp on her mother's necklace, and he gave it to her to hold. She clutched it tightly, and Zuko's hand closed over hers.

"Don't worry. I'm not making you give it up. I've got plans for that, too, and _my_ plans actually work."

Then he was presenting her with a box, and with shaking hands, she opened it, and she started crying all over again. The center stone was oval jasper with swirls of black carved into the wave of an ocean. Surrounding the carved jasper were tiny alternating circles of onyx, pearl, and yellow topaz. The whole thing was mounted on an intricate band of gold, thin and yet strong, with cutouts in the patterns of tiny flames and ocean waves.

"I didn't…I didn't think…"

"I had a lot of help, trust me." Zuko kissed her cheek.

"How long have you been working on it?"

"Are you going to put it on her so we can gaze at its splendor, too, or do you intend to just stand there and look at it?" Everyone looked at Jun. "What? I've got an eye for fine things, and I can smell money wafting off that necklace."

Gran chuckled as Katara lifted her hair, and Zuko put the necklace on her, and she let her hair drop as everyone came to get a closer look.

"Man, Zuko," Sokka said, slapping his best friend's shoulder. "You sure know how to upstage the rest of us."

Zuko only laughed. "At least _you_ finally got around to it."

Iroh cleared his throat, heading toward the door. "I took the liberty of preparing a small party in the garden to celebrate both engagements, hoping my nephew wouldn't get cold feet."

"We had a long talk about it," Hakoda said in their general direction. He was smiling brightly, pride evident in his eyes.

It was hard to be upset or annoyed in that atmosphere, and Zuko just feigned annoyance at his uncle's words. The group surged toward the gardens, but Zuko and Katara lagged behind them.

"I was afraid he said no," Katara said, leaning her head on Zuko's shoulder. "You weren't at dinner, and he completely avoided me. I couldn't _breathe_, Zuko."

"He told me I couldn't say anything until after dinner, partially as punishment." Zuko looked down at their clasped hands. "I was afraid that he would say no, too. I got a lecture."

Katara laughed. She could imagine the way Zuko caved under Hakoda's stern father voice. When Zuko smirked, she kissed him gently, looking forward to kissing him gently and roughly and passionately and fleetingly for as long as she saw fit. And who would tell them no, now? Zuko wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him, and Katara draped her arms across his shoulders. They stayed that way for a while, swaying tunelessly and holding each other.

"Remember when I said I was the only one who could deliver to the satisfaction of all parties?" Zuko was smiling that stupid, smug, handsome smile of his.

"You talk big, and when you get around to doing it, you do deliver." Katara touched her hand to her necklace.

She took in a shuddering breath, and Zuko gently kissed her eyes, kissed away the tears as they fell down her cheeks, then kissed her lips, and she could taste her tears on him. She pushed into him, pulled him into her, knowing that this was only their beginning.

"Hey!" Ty Lee came bounding toward them. "Do that later. You're going to miss your own engagement party. Jun already spiked the tea!"

When they walked out into the garden, everyone cheered, raising their cups to the newly engaged—not just Zuko and Katara, but Sokka and Suki, as well. Speeches were made about the joys of young love, and the strength of these unions. Lanterns had been hung and lighted, casting the garden in a soft golden glow. Iroh presented Zuko with his moon peach tea, now with copious amounts of summerwine. Servants moved about, serving small snacks, and Iroh had the tsungi horn brought out, and he played a few songs. Sometimes, when she and Zuko weren't right next to each other, she'd catch him looking at her, the softest smile on his face, and it reminded her of the way Sokka looked at Suki after she made his favorite sea prune dish. She didn't have to be jealous of them anymore, and she smiled back at Zuko.

As she looked around at her family, laughing and happy, burdens momentarily forgotten, she knew that this was what she was protecting. Without a doubt in her heart, she knew that it was this spirit of love and togetherness that she would fight to preserve. Her decisions did not need to mean choosing between the Fire Nation and the South. Sokka and Suki would protect the South; she needed to remember that. Her family's home was in good hands. She would never abandon it in her heart, and her family would always be with her. That was the part that mattered most—that her family would always be with her.

"What do you say we sneak off, now?"

Zuko's lips on her neck sent shivers down her spine, and she nodded, bestowing a final, happy smile on the scene in the garden.

* * *

><p>Katara laughed when she saw Zuko's bedroom. Their bedroom. There were candles and flowers everywhere, just like their first time, only this time the flowers were fire lilies and moon peach blossoms. Zuko held her hands, walking her back toward the bed.<p>

"It's beautiful," she said, her voice catching.

"So are you."

It was just like being back at Ember Island, when their relationship crossed _that line_. It had been a first then, just as it was a first now. That frenzied passion of clothes ripped off and frantic groping hands was gone, replaced now by gentle caresses that promised this experience would be different from all the others. She pushed Zuko's shirt over his head, and he guided her to the bed, coaxing her to straddle him. With his hands poised to undo the buttons on her dress, Zuko looked up at her, asking for permission. This time she didn't hesitate, nodding her consent with a smile. She hadn't thought he would remember it in so much detail, right down to the places he put his lips, moving slowly between her breasts until her nipple was in his mouth. Memories and emotions from that first time mixed with the pure, overwhelming happiness of the now.

So long ago, they said all they wanted was the now and the pleasure and the emotions, and as Zuko lay her on her back, kissing her neck and caressing her, both completely devoid of clothes, she knew they'd been lying to themselves longer than they'd ever realized. They'd wanted to love and to be loved, to have something they shared with no one else, to have one little piece of the world that belonged to them and them alone. She told Sokka that she wasn't ready for marriage when she was fourteen, but if he had asked her, she would have said yes, no matter what the consequences.

Zuko moved to lie on his back, pulling her on top, and Katara kissed his neck, and there were no loud shouts of ecstasy and demands for bites and screamed names. They moved against each other, their fingers laced, their heads thrown back in a pleasure no less intense for its quiet, and all the more beautiful because of it. They were full of breathy moans and whispered dedications of love. Katara shivered as Zuko ran his hands up her stomach to her breasts, whimpered as he kneaded them, before cupping her cheeks. Katara ran her hands up his stomach, tracing the growing fire in him.

"Give me your fire," she whispered, before bending down, tasting the ash in his mouth, wondering if he could feel the way she quivered every time he touched her.

Zuko took a deep breath, letting the fiery air out of his lungs in a steady jet of blue that was so bright and radiant as to be almost pure white.

Katara smiled. Long ago, she learned that firebending was influenced by emotions. There had never been a more beautiful thing than the purity of his fire when they were joined.

* * *

><p>Back in his own room, Aang took out the betrothal necklace he'd carved for Katara and pressed it to his cheek. They'd always broken up, then got back together. It was just a part of <em>them<em>. He'd always thought they just needed time apart, that they would get on each other's nerves because they spent so much time together, and he'd never put much importance on those months when they weren't together. Sure, Katara dated other guys, but in the end she came back to _him_. He thought that meant something.

Hadn't Aunt Wu said she'd marry a powerful bender? He was _the most_ powerful bender in the world. Shouldn't that count for something? Aang wiped at the tears in his eyes, feeling more than unsteady. He knew Jun had spiked the tea almost as soon as it was brought out, but he didn't care. He pretended not to know, and drank cup after cup. He saved the world for her. She was supposed to be his, and in the end, she couldn't respect him enough to say she'd fallen out of love with him, if she'd ever been _in_ love with him. She couldn't find enough kindness in her heart to be honest with him as he had always tried to be honest with her.

That, more than her loving someone else, _hurt_.

* * *

><p>And now we know why Aang's been so vehement with Katara, and why he might continue to be so for a while (there'll be more on that, later). Poor kid. And just because Hakoda agreed to let them get married doesn't mean that he's done with his hazing. I think that, with the reflection he's had in the time that Katara's been away, Hakoda would be ok enough with the relationship to agree to let them marry. It wouldn't make the trust issue go away, and they're going to have to ride the straight an narrow, but overall, I think Hakoda would understand and be proud of and happy for his children. Plus, how can you not melt a little at the scene with Zuko and Katara cuddling under the trees?<p>

Also, I want to take the time to thank everyone for reading and reviewing this story. I've got over 200 reviews, now! You all have shown this story so much love, and I want you to know that the story and I love you, too. Internet hugs for everyone!


	25. Lay It On the Line

For breakfast, they had to move into one of the bigger dining halls because there were so many of them, and it became a feast. There was so much food, including special dishes for Zuko, Katara, Sokka, and Suki that were meant to symbolize long life, happy marriage, and many children. When Hau came in to deliver the schedules, Katara held her breath.

"No bad news just yet, my lady," he said, bowing with a smile. "I took the liberty of preparing a schedule for you as well. Avatar Aang, here is a list of scrolls and bound books that you might find helpful in aiding the Earth Kingdom. Should you wish to take any of them out, Head Librarian Eno will be more than willing to help."

Aang accepted his schedule, albeit gloomily. He rubbed his head a lot, shooting glances at her and Zuko, but he didn't say anything until breakfast was nearly over.

"Are we really just going to sit here and pretend that we're not mad?" he asked. "You… I can't believe you'd both be so selfish."

Katara stopped, food halfway to her mouth, looking at Aang in disbelief. He was seeking confirmation from someone, but everyone was stunned into silence. When Aang turned to her, there were tears in his eyes, and he was stubbornly trying to hold them back. He wore his emotions on his sleeve, and he was struggling to keep them in check, the pain still fresh in his eyes.

"You lied to me, Katara—"

"Aang, please…"

"You looked me in the face and you _lied_ every time."

Katara looked away, and Zuko squeezed her hand. She was glad to have him with her this time.

"Though I would have preferred them to be honest with at least a few of us, Aang," Iroh said, "I can understand their reasons. Life is not always so kind to us that we can bear our burdens publicly."

"Does no one care that they've been sneaking around behind our backs? That they didn't care enough about how they might hurt us—"

"For one thing, _Aang_, it was kinda obvious." Toph crossed her arms and frowned in Aang's direction. "Just because _you_ were too blind to see doesn't mean that no one else was."

"So you all were in on it? Just keep it from Aang, he doesn't need to know anything," Aang said, his voice rising. He threw his hands up, then refused to look at any of them. He stubbornly wiped at his eyes.

"What would you have done if I told you?" Zuko asked quietly. "What difference would it have made?"

"I don't know, but you took that choice away from me."

"Look, Aang, I understand you're hurt, but you guys broke up more than a _year_ ago." Sokka tried to reach across the table, but Aang didn't meet him. "At some point you've got to let go—"

"Who would you have chosen for her?"

"Whoah, back up, Aang. In case you didn't realize, I'm capable of making choices for myself."

Katara hadn't expected _that_ to come out of Aang's mouth. He was hurting, and Aang didn't always think rationally when he was in pain, but Sokka had a point. He was the one who refused to move on. He chose to hold out hope that she'd change her mind. That was his own fault, his own problem.

"I thought you _had_ made your choice," Aang pleaded. "No matter what, you came back to me. _Me_, Katara. No one else."

Katara sat speechless, looking at Aang with all the hurt and sincerity plain on his face. She never considered that he might read so much into their separations and reunions. For her, Aang had always been someone comfortable. She knew what to expect from him, and she did truly enjoy spending time with him. Katara looked away, but she could still feel Aang's eyes on her.

"That's not exactly a healthy relationship, Aang," Hakoda said, looking between Aang and Katara. "The two of you never discussed where your relationship would go in the future? Never?"

Katara winced. She'd avoided that conversation because she knew where their relationship would go. Even if she hadn't loved Zuko, as the years moved on, Katara realized she couldn't always be in Aang's shadow. She hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings, and rightly or wrongly, she kept quiet.

"No," she said. "No, we didn't."

"You heard what Aunt Wu said!" Aang said, pointing to himself. "You'd marry a powerful bender—"

"What the hell am I?" Zuko asked, insulted. "Reality check, Aang, you aren't the only—"

"I'm the Avatar!"

"Look around you! I'm the Fire Lord, Hakoda's Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, Sokka and Suki are the next Chief and Chieftess, Katara's the next Fire Lady. You play that Avatar shit with someone else, but don't bring your all important attitude here, because it means fuck all in this room."

Both were on their feet, their chests heaving with anger and indignation and pain, nearly yelling at the top of their lungs. So many confused faces looked on, and Katara wished this moment would just end and never be brought up again.

"You were all so intent on sparing my feelings," Aang said, his face turning red, "that you never _once_ thought how any of this would make me feel when I found out."

"Look, Aang, I made my choice—" Katara started.

"What happened under Ba Sing Se?" Aang shot an accusatory finger at her, and a rumble of 'not this again,' and 'get over it,' and 'why are you so stuck on Ba Sing Se?' went through the room.

Katara very nearly pulled out her hair, and was about to answer, but Zuko beat her to it.

"I fucked her." A pin could have dropped three islands away, and they would have heard it. "I fucked her against those green crystals."

Everyone was looking at her, and she was furiously denying it, angry with Zuko for saying something like that, her cheeks flaming red, demanding that he take it back, but he wasn't listening.

"I knew it! I knew something had to happen because there was _no way_ Katara could ever…" Aang flopped back in his chair, his arms crossed, refusing to look at anyone.

Beside her, Zuko was shaking, his head down. She'd seen the undisguised hurt that crossed his face when Aang suggested that no one would willingly love Zuko. He was quiet for a bit, but he swallowed hard and finally spoke.

"If you would so willingly believe that about Katara…" he said, his voice flat. "We were only in there for a few hours, but if you are _so_ ready to believe that she would throw herself at just anyone, then you don't deserve her."

"Don't deserve her? How could I not? I saved the _world_ for her."

Ursa moved to stand beside Aang, pulling him to her and wrapping her arm around his shoulder. Whether he realized it or not, Aang collapsed into her touch, allowing himself to be held and comforted.

"No one doubts your love, Aang," Ursa said, stroking his shoulder. "But no matter how much you love Katara, you cannot force her to love you in the same way."

The room was quiet, everyone on the edge of their seats, not quite sure what they should do or say. Katara took one glance at Ursa, her eyes hardened like steel, and couldn't look in that direction anymore. Aang took deep, shuddering breaths that it was impossible not to hear. Katara also didn't miss the way her father looked at her, disappointed all over again. She knew they would be having another discussion later, but this time, she wouldn't let herself run away from it.

"I'm so sorry, Aang…" Katara said.

"I don't know that you are, Katara," Aang mumbled into Ursa's shoulder.

Toph let out a frustrated scream, slamming her hands down on the table. "Why do you always act like you're the only one who gets to be happy? Can't you see that they love each other? Why can't you just be happy for them?"

"Toph." Zuko put his hand on Toph's shoulder, but she just shrugged him off.

"You could have been happier _so many times_ over by now, but no. Not you. You only had eyes for Katara. You ignored every other girl who could have loved you the way you want to be loved."

When she said what she had to say, Toph kicked her chair back and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her hard enough to rattle the cups on the table. Sokka looked around the room before going after her, and Aang showed no signs of acknowledging anything Toph said. He clung to Ursa as if she was his life support, and she rubbed soothing circles on his back.

"Let's have a little walk, shall we?" Ursa asked, steering Aang toward the door.

* * *

><p>Chem smiled to himself. His full strength had not been gathered, but there was no more opportune moment than this to strike. All of them were distracted; they would not be at their best. It had worked when fighting the Phoenix Brigade, and it would work when fighting the Fire Lord.<p>

He slipped his hands inside his sleeves and left the palace grounds. The nobility said this was his city, and in it, he was untouchable. They were merely shaken up by the arrest and ongoing investigation of two prominent council members. They weren't willing to make such a public show of their own power and dislike for the Fire Lord, but he managed to get some on his side. A temporary truce with some of Ozai's supporters had bumped his ranks from 304 to 350, and there would be another ship coming in sometime that afternoon. Bo would be on that ship, and if everything went according to plan, they would all meet tomorrow evening for instruction.

Given more time, he could have easily doubled his numbers, but time was not always his friend. He understood that sometimes you just had to strike. He would take all three of them down—the Fire Lord, his traitor mother, and his lovesick paramour. It wouldn't hurt him to try and befriend the Avatar, play to his emotions. He was still young, and Chem pitied him. He'd seen the boy following his waterbender around the palace, but she steadily avoided being alone with him. Why her father allowed his daughter to slip further into disgrace with the Fire Lord was beyond him.

Chem pulled out a key and opened the door on the small apartment he'd secured for himself using some of the Fire Lord's money. Until the big payoff came, he would have to content himself with petty victories. Barely inside the apartment, Chem froze. Someone was waiting.

"Who are you? Why are you in my house?"

"It's me, Chem. Fei. Sorry I haven't been in contact more frequently." Fei pulled back a few of the curtains Chem routinely kept closed, and light flooded the apartment. "I was…detained."

In the increased lighting, Fei began removing his shirt, and Chem saw signs of torture. There were tiny pinpricks all along Fei's chest. Chem knew that technique—heated metal pins inserted into the skin, searing and burning. Marks made where most clothing would cover them. Scratches made with a metal claw. Something that looked to be a burn mark on Fei's shoulder. The only injury that would be visible when Fei was fully clothed was a bruised and swollen lip, something no one would look at twice.

"Do not let them tell you that torture is outlawed under Fire Lord Zuko." Fei's eyes were distant, and he did not look directly at Chem. "Rue suffered a worse fate."

Chem's eyes flashed dark. He knew exactly what kind of 'worse fate' she would suffer, and only hoped that her death was some relief to her suffering.

* * *

><p>Katara was convinced there was no such thing as a short meeting when the Fire Nation was involved.<p>

"Special provisions should be made in the wedding contract," one minister said. "This is the Fire Nation—"

"Yes," Hau said, rolling his eyes. "We are very aware that this is the Fire Nation. _Fire Lord_ Zuko is aware, Lady Katara is aware."

This meeting was to inform Zuko's council of their engagement, and to slowly begin transferring some duties to Katara. Half an hour in, it devolved into mindless objections and idiocy with not enough rational voices. They'd been cooped up in that meeting room for two hours, and there were three council members who hadn't even posed any objections to their engagement, rather complaining that Katara will have more authority than they would. Zuko hadn't even dignified that with a response.

"Zuko and I have already discussed this, and it can go in the marriage contract. I have no intention of putting a waterbender on the Fire Nation throne." Katara crossed her arms and stared down the grumpy old man.

"I don't want some…_outsider_ to come in here and start dominating the Fire Lord."

"We wanted balance, there's balance, now shut up!" another minister protested, spittle flying from his mouth, clearly having tired of the proceedings long ago.

"There are people who believe she only seduced the Fire Lord so the other nations can keep an eye on us. There's some kind of conspiracy going on."

"This is a great opportunity for the Fire Nation. I can't believe any of you are turning down the chance to have _two_ master benders on the throne!"

"The last thing we need is some massive display of power."

The voices echoed on, arguing with each other, and forgetting that Zuko and Katara were in the room for long stretches of time. Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning loudly, and Katara gave him a hug. It had been a tough morning, and a tough council meeting wasn't making things any better. Though he was still listening, Katara knew Zuko well enough to see the signs of thickly masked hurt as he attended to his duties. That comment from Aang had been like a barb straight through Zuko's heart, hitting every point of insecurity and doubt that still dwelled within him.

"I will entertain reasonable objections to my marriage with Katara, however, nothing approaching reasonable objections have been raised in the past hour," Zuko said, his voice stern and commanding. "I am not marrying her for political reasons, though I won't deny that there _are_ political implications to our marriage."

"My lord, the qualifications! She has no political background—"

"Our relationship is weakest with the Northern Water Tribe. As a prominent member of the Southern Water Tribe, Katara…" Zuko paused, gesturing at her, and she smiled very politely at them. "Katara will be our strongest ally in showing Chief Arnook that my rule is vastly different from Ozai's, Azulon's and Sozin's. Our marriage will prove to the world that ours is a new Fire Nation. Katara is known as a kind and compassionate person, but fiercely protective of people she cares for. If she can love me, then the Fire Nation must have redeeming qualities and cannot be dismissed simply on past events."

The council was quiet in the face of Zuko's warning look. Katara wondered how much of this objection also had to do with their not being consulted in the matter. Zuko still refused to give them back that law making power they wanted so desperately. A few people grumbled, but no further objections were raised. Now she saw why Zuko always said the Fire Nation would descend into madness and cannibalism without him.

* * *

><p>Katara shadowed Zuko for most of the day as he moved from one meeting to the next. He poured himself into his work, and refused to leave his office for lunch, mumbling something about needing to catch up on paperwork before people started sending in permit renewals and the next serious council session.<p>

She sighed a lot, but Katara let him have his space. He would talk when he was ready.

Toph had been right about her need to confront Aang. She'd been wrong to assume that shielding Aang would do him any good, and in the end all it did was make him angry with her. She didn't want to lose Aang as a friend, and the only way she could do that would be to mend the bridge as soon as possible. She sought out Aang to have that conversation she should have had with him when he first showed up, and so many times before. She found him in the stables, brushing Appa. She rapped on the wooden door as she approached.

"Aang? We need to talk."

"Funny, I remember saying that to you, and you blew me off."

He had his back to her, and Katara lightly rested her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for that. I should have had the courage to face you and tell you the truth. But honestly? I didn't want to have this conversation because I know you still love me."

Aang roughly shook off her touch. "Did you ever love me?"

"I did, Aang. I still do."

Aang turned to face her, his expression so uncharacteristically serious. He kept his distance from her, but he stood his ground, looking directly at her. "I was trying so hard to give you everything—"

"I didn't want _things_, Aang," Katara said, gesturing around her. "You're a great person to be around, and we always had fun, but I need more than zoos and penguin sledding."

"Did you and Zuko really…" Aang made a nervous gesture with his hands, almost as if he was trying to pick the right words out of the air. "You know…in Ba Sing Se."

It would be inappropriate for her to roll her eyes or whack Aang, no matter how much she wanted to. She crossed her arms and glared at him instead. Despite everything that he knew about her, Aang was holding on to the hope that something forced her to be with Zuko. If she just loved Zuko more than him, he wouldn't be the most popular kid with the most friends and the prettiest girlfriend. Who would he show off to, then?

"Why would you believe that about me?" Katara took a few steps back. "And if you don't realize what a personal, _intimate_ gesture it was for me to touch his scar right then… Maybe you're not ready for a serious relationship."

Aang looked wounded again, physically recoiling from her.

"It's his _scar_, Katara. I don't understand what that has to do with a serious relationship, or with you and him…you know."

Katara sighed, hugged her elbows. "I saw a side to him I'd never seen before. He was kind and understanding." Katara paused, her brows furrowed. "He…he was so open with me, and when I told him about my mother, he told me about _his_ mother, and there was so much sadness and pain in his voice."

She'd been shocked to hear Zuko—Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, of all people—reveal that he'd been hurt so badly, and he'd been marked and cast out, and he just wanted to get home and find some normalcy again. He didn't tell her then just how he got his scar, but Katara believed that maybe, just maybe, all he needed was someone beside his uncle to look at him and say that he was worthy.

"Intimacy and sex aren't always the same thing, Aang. I _need_ intimacy. I want sex. You can't even say it."

"I just choose not to." Aang broke his steadfast eye contact, turning his body away from her.

"Say it, Aang."

"No."

"Sex. Sex, sex, sex. I have sex with Zuko, and I _enjoy_ it."

Aang made a frustrated noise and covered his ears. Katara was about to push him again, but she caught herself. This wasn't what she came to speak to Aang about. Her goal had never been to push him into something he wasn't ready to do. Katara took a deep breath, bringing her emotions under control. This wasn't the time for her to get angry with Aang. After all the ways she'd hurt him, she didn't have that right anymore.

"When did you learn about his scar, Aang?"

Aang shrugged, confused. "I don't know. A year or two after the war?"

"And when did he tell you who scarred him?"

Aang looked down, catching her meaning. Zuko was not very open about his past wounds, and it had taken him nearly two years for him to tell them what his scar meant, and even longer to tell them who scarred him.

"He told me last year."

"He told me about his scar in the Crystal Catacombs, and he told me who scarred him on the way back from the Southern Raiders."

It was hard to look at Aang and see the rejection on his face, the realization that he'd never truly had a chance. It was hard to look at him and know that things could never be the same between them. When Aang latched onto something, it was hard for him to let go.

"I know you didn't mean what you said to Zuko. About no one possibly being able to choose him over you. You should apologize. That _really_ hurt him."

Aang rubbed his neck and turned back to a sleeping Appa. "I'll talk to him."

* * *

><p>So, Aang gets to say what others might have thought. But up to 11, because he's far more emotionally involved. Aang doesn't intend to be rude and sexist and pushy; he just wants someone to look at things from his angle. He looks around him and sees that everyone's siding with Zuko and Katara, and that no one appears to be thinking about just how betrayed they've really been (at least from his POV). Also, I think Aang would be only focused on Katara, completely ignoring any other girl that might be interested in him. Once he got what he saw as confirmation from Katara, he wouldn't be interested in anyone else. And yes, that <em>was<em> unrequited Taang you saw ;) The best thing would be for Katara and Aang to have their space at this point, but you know Katara. She gets pushy. That, more than anything, is what could ruin their relationship. She'll feel that need to reconcile everything right then, and Aang's just not feeling it. He only just found out about it. I'm not going to touch the issue about Chem and the torture just yet. You'll have to wait and see about that.


	26. Beginning of the End

General Jee paced the floor in front of Zuko's desk. Zuko was sitting in the window, his head in his hands, and Katara sat, likewise shocked and dismayed, in Zuko's comfy chair behind his desk. Things had gone beyond getting out of hand. This was serious trouble, and she didn't doubt that Chem would make things as difficult for them as he possibly could.

"I'll admit," Jee said, "that he is helping us root out the more troublesome element, and it's good to know who our allies are and who can be easily bought, but…"

Jee stopped pacing and turned to face Zuko, but he seemed to have run out of things to say. He raised his hands and dropped them several times, before deciding to scratch his beard.

"On the positive side," Katara said, trying to be optimistic, "Chem is finding it hard to get support in the capitol itself. Things _are_ changing."

They sat in silence until Hau came to tell them that everyone had arrived in the meeting room. Katara had wanted to invite their entire family to the meeting, and she'd been on her way to do it, but Zuko had pulled her into his office to have this meeting with Jee. He summarily refused to hear anything about involving their family in the affair. At least, not any more than they were already involved. This, he said, was strictly a Fire Nation problem; involve Hakoda, who would always be seen as a representative of the Southern Water Tribe would be making this an international issue. No one would see it as Hakoda helping out his future son-in-law. They would see it as the Fire Lord asking for help from the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe to deal with a domestic issue. He absolutely refused to call it civil war. In fact, Katara noted as they walked down the halls, he refused to call it much of anything.

When they entered the map room, everyone stood and bowed. They only took up their seats again when Zuko gestured for them to do so. Katara quickly scanned the gathered faces, noting Iroh, Jun, Toph, and Ursa, and glad for their presence. At least they weren't being shut out. Aang was also there; he had been invited as a courtesy, because he was Avatar and it was his job to keep the peace. He kept to himself, now as tall as his staff, both leaning against a wall. Aang watched them walk in, but there was a distance in him that it hurt Katara to see. If it was possible, he shrank back even more, making himself as small as he possibly could.

Also in attendance were several Ozai supporters. She hadn't been there for the conversation between Ursa and Zuko that led to his agreeing to temporarily work with them, but it wasn't hard to tell that Zuko wasn't exactly trusting of them. The moment he saw them, he grabbed her hand, giving it a strong squeeze.

"These are the 'friends' mom promised," Zuko whispered as they sat down, nodding toward the group sitting slightly apart from everyone else. "Watch your back around them."

Inara was the first to speak after Zuko called the meeting to order.

"They're going to meet tomorrow night in an abandoned factory in the lower district," she said, moving to one of the maps hanging up. "Here. I've scouted the area, and it's not a fairly secluded spot at all, but no one would be surprised by large numbers of people coming in and out of it. Apparently, teenagers use the place for secret parties from time to time."

Iroh stifled a laugh and shook his head. Katara immediately recognized it as one of the factories that had to be closed as a result of Toph's Accident, some weird gambling scheme of hers that went horribly wrong, which had nearly crippled the Fire Nation by destroying its busiest ports.

"There's a lot of illegal activity that goes on there," Jun said, smiling. "Tournaments, gambling, underaged drinking. I've taken down a few bounties there, too. It's a haven for the criminal element."

Zuko nodded and made a few notes on the report that Hau had handed him from Yina's network of spies. Not fully trusting everyone else to do the spying, Zuko relied heavily on Yina as someone he knew to be loyal to him, and in truth, he had every reason to trust him. Yina and Hau had been the first on the scene at the final battle, demanding that everyone cease fire and recognize their new Fire Lord. All through Zuko's recovery, Yina kept close watch to make sure Zuko wouldn't be assassinated before he could defend himself, and Hau began work to transfer leadership to Zuko. Whenever she had to leave him, even though she worried, Katara always knew that Zuko would be well taken care of, so long as Yina and Hau were at his side. They would make sure he ate a real breakfast, and not just custard and tea.

As details were shared around the group, Katara leaned over to read Yina's report. What Inara and Jun were saying fit with what Yina wrote. For once, all factions had the same information; even Ozai's supporters seemed to be playing along for the time being. That didn't mean that Katara was any less suspicious of them. She didn't put it past them to have their own reasons for joining the fight against Chem, but for the moment, that would have to wait. They could only deal with so many crises at a time, and the cases against Ina and Kin were still being investigated.

When everything was done, all the information they had said that Chem's army would be gathering the next evening, shortly after dark. They knew as much about the time, meeting place, and topics of discussion as any of Chem's soldiers. The only thing left to do was to plan the raid; hopefully, this would bring an end to The Chem Problem.

"Instead of detaining Chem, we'll trail him just to be safe and make sure they don't switch the meeting spot," Zuko said. "I'll speak with General Jee and Defense Minister General Hideo later about the charges, including his part in the attempted poisoning."

"If you need me to slow him down," Ursa volunteered, "I will do so. I suspect he wouldn't mind trying one last time to convince me of his…beliefs." She wrinkled her nose distastefully.

Planning the raid took far less time than it took them to decide what to do to begin with. It was a straightforward thing, within two hours, Jee and Hideo were leaving to send out summons and determine who would be part of the force that went after Chem. They were planning on an army three times as large as Chem's to make sure the numbers stayed in their favor, as well as increasing street patrols. They toyed with the idea of imposing a temporary curfew to keep citizens as safe as possible, but it was determined this couldn't be done without raising too much suspicion; already, people were talking about the customs searches and speculating on who'd rocked the smuggling boat.

The biggest concern, of course, was just what Chem would do with that little army of his. They might not have the numbers that the Fire Nation army had on their side, but everyone in that room knew that numbers didn't always matter when it came to wreaking havoc. Chem's plan of attack wouldn't be known unless they let him spew his madness to his soldiers, and even then, they didn't know for sure he'd discuss battle plans at that moment. They wouldn't get many chances to attack, and the once chance they could be sure of would be better used for the offensive, rather than an information gathering mission.

* * *

><p>"Princess Ursa…"<p>

Ursa turned to see a specter from her past. He walked to her with that old overconfidence that came from being at Ozai's side when he was at his most favorable. He had new armor, she noted; gone was the insignia of the Tigerdillo Brigade he'd once commanded. Now he wore the standard armor, thought she was sure Iroh would never let someone who'd served so closely with Ozai remain in Zuko's army.

She smiled slightly. "Former Major General Din."

Din had been Ozai's second in command, and had acted on his behalf when Ozai couldn't leave the palace to track down a hidden cell of Air Nomads. So many years after their execution which happened long before Zuko and Azula were born, the strength and courage of the Air Nomads, even at their executions, had given Ursa the courage to do what she must.

Even now, the blowing wind reminded her of Io, a young airbender who'd remained defiant and passionate, who held steadfastly to her beliefs even as she'd been beaten, raped, starved, and burned. It was never hard to call up the image of Io as Ursa had first seen her, naked and chained to the wall in a tiny storage shed with twelve other Air Nomads. The memory of that sickly sweet, oppressive smell did not go far from her mind or her nostrils. Ursa had been seventeen, and Io sixteen. Io had looked at Ursa with strong, piercing gray eyes.

In life we are human, in death we are the wind. I am the air that sustains your life. I am in your lungs. I am in your _blood_.

Those had been Io's last words as the blade of the executioner's axe touched her neck. All through the execution, the young girl had held Ursa's gaze as if telling her to take heart. Io had never been more beautiful, more resilient, than in the moment of her death.

"I was hoping we might have a cup of tea together."

Din's voiced recalled her to the present, pulling her forcefully and painfully away from the past. Ursa did not show that her mind had slipped away; her stride did not falter, her head remained high and her smile cold and distant.

"Actually," Ursa said, moving down the hall and knowing he would fall in step beside her. "I'm meeting Chief Hakoda for tea at the Jasmine Dragon."

"Perhaps some other time, then?"

Ursa let her smile fade as she inclined her head noncommittally. "Perhaps."

They walked to the end of the hall in silence, and she waited for Din to make his point. Ursa knew he did not come to her as a social call. She'd seen his calculating gaze from across the room during the meeting. She'd known that her closeness with Zuko would make her a target for those looking to have their words delivered to the Fire Lord's ear. Her reappearance in the capitol hadn't been met with unbound joy and tears of relief for their exiled princess. Ursa hadn't expected it to be. As she and Din moved down the hall, Ursa was aware of the eyes on her. There were those who would not soon forget the suspicious circumstances under which she disappeared; a grandson dead, a son's birthright revoked, a usurper crowned, his wife disappeared. If nothing else, she knew there were those who blamed her for Ozai coming to power at all. And they would be right; it was her fault, even if she was only protecting her child. Written down or performed on the stage, it would make for a wonderful story.

"We worked together once before, princess," Din said, moving closer to her as he lowered his voice. "I was hoping we might be able to do so again."

"As I recall, you were not keen on my presence. You did not like my influence over Ozai."

Din huffed, his lip curling viciously. "It was not my place to judge…"

Ursa waited to see how he would refer to Ozai. She smiled politely when Din didn't finish. No matter his current affiliation with Ozai, he wouldn't dare to openly show loyalty, and certainly not to her, when he couldn't be sure of her political affiliation. Din would understand that a mother's love is not the same as a mother's politics. And, for all he knew, she had helped Ozai reach the throne that night. Very few people knew what actually happened, and she preferred to keep it that way.

"I am simply _Lady _Ursa. When we are done with Chem, I am through with politics. You know my record."

Din bowed stiffly, a twinkle in his eye. "I also know your successes, my lady."

Ursa chuckled slightly to herself before turning the corner and heading up the stairs, aware of Din's eyes following her every movement. Some people and some things would never change. She would be done with politics as soon as she turned Din over to Zuko and made sure that he was disposed of properly. His removal had crippled Ozai's division of the army once. She did not doubt it would do so a second time.

* * *

><p>Aang and Azula were sitting on the floor of the kitchen, their backs against the counter. Azula had her knees pulled up to her chest, hugging them closely as she rested her head on her arms. She looked at nothing in particular. Briefly, Aang wondered if he should offer some comfort.<p>

"It's not fair," he said instead, stretching his legs out in front of him. "It's like no one even cares."

Azula's eyes focused on him, and Aang wanted to pull away from her. It was like a little bit of the old Azula was staring at him and searching for weaknesses to exploit. She shrugged and her eyes slipped away from him, becoming unfocused again.

"Maybe it's because they were already suspicious."

"Are you going to say that I was completely blind, too?" Aang crossed his arms, feeling quite upset with Azula. "Did _you_ know?"

"I figured it out." Azula shrugged, her eyes meeting his with a deep sadness that he'd become accustomed to seeing. "You were blind, though. You let her run all over you. She doesn't care at all for other people's feelings."

"That's not true," Aang said quietly, uncertainly.

They sat in silence, and Aang wondered how it had ever come to this: hiding in the kitchen with Azula because neither one of them wanted to face the world, though for very different reasons. He still hadn't figured out Azula's reason, and he wasn't sure that he ever would, but he was just so _pissed_ with everyone else that he couldn't bear to see them. In a bizarre, but not unexpected, reversal of earlier that week, he'd been the one avoiding Katara. He knew she wanted to talk and make things right between them, but he wasn't so sure _he_ wanted to.

Katara had meant so much to him, and he did everything for her. He didn't know how to describe the pain of this betrayal. It was almost like losing his bending; like he was suddenly cut off from air, and there was a burning in his lungs that could never be eased. There was no joy in flying, no joy in practicing his bending or in playing games.

"Hey, Azula… What's the difference between intimacy and sex?"

Azula looked at him, confused. "What? I don't know. I've never had…"

They looked away, blushing.

* * *

><p>I wish this site had icons, because I'd find me a trollface to place here for that last scene. But yeah, this chapter is basically it before the shit hits the fan for real. I wanted to get this out of the way since I intend to post the actual raid this weekend. Once again, we enter that bittersweet zone, because the story's almost over. So, I just want to take the time to thank everyone for reading and because I've got more than 200 reviews (which is a big deal to me)! Thanks for sticking through this story. You guys are amazing, and are deserving of internet hugs and high fives. Hugs and high fives all around!<p> 


	27. Raid My Heart

Ozai had asked her how execution had been her choice when she took the lives of the soldiers that attacked her. It hadn't been her choice or her right to hand out punishment, no more than it would be her right to hand out punishment to Chem now that she'd brought him back to the Fire Nation and made him Zuko's problem. The last thing Zuko needed was to have rumors rekindled about her and her skill with poison. Ursa couldn't help feeling negligent, though. Na had warned her, but she hadn't wanted to believe anything that Na was saying. To think that Chem had become so crazed, so divorced from reality that he would raise an army and march against the Fire Lord in the Fire Nation's capitol…

Ursa sighed. She watched Chem move nervously down the hallway. He was watching the shadows suspiciously, and Ursa considered having another conversation with him. She wasn't sure what more she had to say to Chem, other than to express her utmost disappointment with the man who had been sworn to protect her. She thought she could find out where things had gone so completely wrong, the point where he'd lost all touch with reality, but she doubted he would tell her anything. Right until she'd poisoned him and clearly sided with Katara, he thought he was protecting her.

"Princess Ursa."

Ursa peered over her shoulder, moving her head as little as possible, and saw that it was Zuko's Chief of Staff. With a slight smile, Ursa turned so that her back was fully to the older man again.

"Minister Hau. Did he send you?"

"No, my lady. He does not know I am here."

Ursa nodded. It would be best for Zuko not to know, to think that Chem died naturally of a heart attack. She had been giving him small gifts for many years now. The life of Fire Lord would not be kind to him, and the mother in her wanted to spare her children as much pain as possible. He might come to appreciate a few of these gifts as time passed, even if he did not understand at the moment.

"He might not know, but I have still come on his behalf. Do not take this choice from him. He has been handling this beautifully." Hau moved forward a few steps, now standing just behind and to the left of Ursa. "Understand that you will be doing them no favor, and will most likely push them into a decision they are not ready or willing to make."

The irony didn't escape Ursa. It was such an odd revision of the way things had gone so many years ago. She hadn't cared then what Azulon might do; in fact, him retaliating hadn't crossed her mind as she slipped the poison into the cups of those men. Now, she was hesitating because the Fire Lord was her son, and she did not want him to hate her, or to be forced to punish her. She folded her hands inside her sleeves, her head drooped. Zuko was handling this crisis beautifully, but how well would he handle having to sentence his mother to jail? Or banishment? Or execution?

"You've had me followed," she said quietly.

Hau came to stand beside her, his shoulder inches from her own. He did not immediately speak, and Ursa appreciated his delicacy with the issue. It was kind of him to spare her feelings.

"I know you understand. He loves you very much, and even though your return came at a difficult time, your presence has done much to lift his spirits. He still looks at you with the eyes of an adoring son. However, the Fire Nation still needs to be protected. Given the way Chem talked, I could not be sure that you didn't hold his beliefs."

"And Katara's word?"

"She wanted your return just as much as he did."

It warmed Ursa's heart to hear that Katara thought so highly of her. She really did like the girl. She'd seen what were meant to be private moments between Katara and Zuko, and it did much to ease her heart. Ursa had been so worried that neither one of her children would ever have good, functional relationships. Azula was still struggling, but there was much to overcome in her case, and Ursa never doubted that, eventually, Azula would find the same love and acceptance.

"So," Ursa said conversationally, "you have come to ask me not to pass judgment."

"I have. Or, if you wish to do so, please speak with their majesties. I am sure they would be more than happy to hear your offer."

Ursa thought this over. Perhaps. At the least, it would be worth it to discuss the matter with them. If she was intent on saving them pain, she should speak with them. She doubted that they would accept her offer, though, which really was a shame. She could end it all, quietly, and with the loss of only one life.

"Trust that they know what they are doing," Hau said. "Under Fire Lord Zuko, the Fire Nation has become quite a different place."

* * *

><p>Katara lay on her back, staring at the ceiling.<p>

"Did Aang talk to you?" she asked Zuko as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Azula's still avoiding mom—"

"Zuko."

He shifted, pillowing his head on her stomach. "He apologized. But I don't know that he really meant it. I just… I never thought it would _hurt_ like that. I've heard that kind of stuff my whole life, but it never hurt like that before."

The sun was still climbing, and soon they would have to get out of bed. By the end of the day, she would have handled her first official crisis as Royal Consort. She'd hoped to put off any real trouble at least until after they were married. Half of her wanted to stay in bed all day. It could be their talisman for keeping the bad things just a little further away from them, just a little longer.

"I'm sorry, Zuko," Katara sighed. "I brought Chem here, and look at all the trouble it's caused. I'll make it up to you."

"While I'm not opposed to you making this up to me, it's better that he's here where we can keep an eye on him instead of further away where he can gather his army in secret. Look how…prepared we are for what he's about to do."

He kissed her stomach, and little flutters floated through her body, touching the tips of her fingers and the bottoms of her feet.

"Aang will come around. I mean, if your council can finally get their act together, why can't Aang come to terms with this?"

Zuko propped himself up on his elbow and looked at her, confused.

"In what world does that make sense? The council has no choice. Aang could hate us for all eternity if he wanted."

Katara smiled, taking a few sections of Zuko's hair and braiding it, imagining the way the tribal beads would look.

"In what world have you known _Aang_ to never forgive?"

She wouldn't say she that she had her own doubts about Aang forgiving her for this. One of them had to be the hopebender, and that person was never going to be Zuko.

* * *

><p>When Katara came out of Zuko's office after lunch, Sokka and her father were waiting for her. Sokka was pacing frantically, fidgeting. When the door closed behind her, he practically bombarded her.<p>

"Are you _sure_ you can't use our help?" Sokka asked, grabbing her shoulders.

"It's not that we don't want it, Sokka. This is just Fire Nation business."

Katara tried to step out of his grasp, but he was holding her firmly, his eyes wide. He was shaking his head, and finally Hakoda pulled him back. He looked no less worried than his son, a deep frown etched into his face. Katara tried to back away from their concern, not wanting to turn them down, and knowing she would have to.

"We aren't here as representatives of the South, Katara. We're here as family. There has to be something we can do."

Katara sighed, holding onto her elbows. She watched Ursa slow down as she passed them.

"It's…complicated. Trust me, Zuko and I would love nothing more than to have _all_ of you fighting by our sides, but this is politics. It's appearances and trying to convince a council who's already made up their minds that I'll make him weak… It's making a statement and showing the world that fire and water don't cancel each other out."

"This reeks _so much_ of Zuko just not wanting to accept help again," Sokka said, punching the wall. He growled in frustration and threw his hands in the air. "This guy has an _army_, and he would like nothing more than to see Zuko dead, and both of you—my own _sister_ included—would rather I sit on my ass—"

"That's not what this is about!" Katara yelled. "This is about the Fire Lord and his Fire Lady upholding their _sworn duty_ and protecting this nation from threats. I am doing for the Fire Nation _exactly_ what you and Suki will swear to do for the South."

Hakoda took a step back, perhaps not understanding just how seriously Katara was taking this. She tried not to be hurt by the questioning look he gave her, as if he wasn't sure she was really his daughter. Katara would have to get used to a few people looking at her that way, her father especially. This was Katara, Warrior Queen, ready to keep her oath and protect people who needed protecting. He hadn't seen her during the war when she was protecting her friends; it was understandable that he'd need time to reconcile this side of her with what he already knew. But Sokka had been there during the war. He knew, and there was no reason he should be objecting so strongly to this.

"Katara's right," Ursa said softly, surprising them. "It is…complicated. I can explain it to both of you."

Ursa smiled, and even though she was speaking to both Hakoda and Sokka, she only addressed Hakoda. Slowly, she stroked his arm, her face sharing the concern of a parent. Katara watched as they looked at each other, something passing between them, some understanding, that she couldn't divine. Sokka frowned, looking between the two of them, then shooting a questioning look at Katara, who could only shrug.

"I must be missing something," Hakoda said, relenting a little, but still casting worried looks at Katara as he ran his hands through his hair.

"No," Ursa said. "It's just your better judgment fighting against letting your daughter go out there alone. It's easy to feel that, so long as we are not by their sides, our children will always be alone."

When Ursa started walking away, Hakoda followed, the two talking quietly.

Sokka's jaw hit the floor.

* * *

><p>Fei grunted as he dropped himself on the couch in Chem's front room. He couldn't resist laughing as he vigorously rubbed his face, even though it aggravated his chest wounds. He might just get out of this thing with his life. He'd fully expected to be executed for his role in the poison plot, but he wasn't going to object to this conditional release. He had far more information than the guards at the prison were expecting, and so long as they were intent on keeping him alive, Fei was content to feed them information about Chem.<p>

Someone was knocking at the door. Sighing, Fei pushed himself off the couch.

"Who is it?"

"A couple of old friends, Fei. We've got a gift for you."

Fei hurriedly opened the door and stepped back, letting Long and Inara in. He noticed that Long was carrying medical supplied, and he sighed in relief, greeting his old friends with a big smile and open arms.

"We can't thank you enough," Inara said. "You took a big risk for us."

"I'd say I didn't come out a total loser."

Long chuckled, unwrapping Fei's old bandages to replace them. "Does Chem suspect anything? Either about you or the raid?"

With his chest unbound and uncovered, his wounds were displayed for Long and Inara, and they winced at their severity. When he first agreed to this mission, even though no one said anything, Fei had known the wounds couldn't be superficial; Chem had been through these same tortue techniques himself under Ozai's regime, and would know a faked injury when he saw it. Fei pushed the boundary as far as he dared, and no matter how intense the pain got, he always reminded himself that this was necessary. Either do this or too many would die.

"Not all," Fei answered, pulling Long and Inara's attention away from the wounds. "He doesn't question me. Tell him what he wants to hear, be someone he trusts, and he won't question you much at all. Rue, is she still in jail?"

Inara nodded. "She's pissed, but other than that, she's fine. They don't even bother to question her much since she refuses to give them anything. You're their star."

* * *

><p>Katara watched Zuko. He clenched and unclenched his fists, little puffs of smoke wafting into the air, standing before Jee and Hideo and Long and Inara. Toph and Aang stood off to the side. Behind them were nearly 1,000 soldiers, all aware that they could be doing battle in their own capitol city. Zuko frowned.<p>

"Hideo, you'll be in charge of the increased patrols on the streets." His commands were strong, curt. "Concentrate on the area surrounding the factory. Move out."

Hideo nodded, and with a few sharp commands, his share of the soldiers began moving toward the lower district.

The sun had barely dropped below the horizon, and everyone was gathered at the back of the palace, near the army barracks. Their family waited a little ways behind Toph and Aang. It took both Ursa and Iroh explaining what it would mean for Zuko and Katara to act as the sole authority figures and not be seen as asking for backup from the Southern Water Tribe to get them to calm down. Ursa almost had them convinced when Aang decided to come along and agree with Hakoda and Sokka. That had renewed all debate. Then Pakku sided with Sokka, Hakoda, and Aang, and Gran threatened to join in, too, but on her and Zuko's side. Trust them, she kept saying. If it was any consolation, Iroh would be sitting this battle out as well. Sokka grumbled that Iroh chose to be retired.

Everyone was acting like this wouldn't be some simple rounding up of a bunch of ruffians. But then, those ruffians _had_ been responsible for the massacre at the Phoenix Brigade prison. This was one step under putting down a rebellion, and it thrilled Katara more than it should have.

"How're you holding up?" Zuko whispered, coming to stand by her.

Katara shook her head. "This is ridiculous. That we even have to go through _any_ of this is ridiculous."

Zuko laughed mirthlessly, his hand on her shoulder, as Yina walked out into the courtyard. Ursa followed behind, detouring to stand with their family. Yina bowed.

"Chem has just arrived at the factory, your majesties."

Zuko nodded. "Right. Long, you'll be moving out now. Detour a little further south of the factory, though. Just in case. Pick up any stragglers you find."

Long bowed and left with his division. Ten minutes later, as the last of the color began to fade from the sky and the lanterns were being lit along the street, Zuko sent Inara out. That left only their family, Jee's division, which Zuko, Katara, Toph, and Aang would be travelling with, and a division to guard the palace.

Katara breathed in this air and let it loosen her muscles and her joints. Experimentally, she moved into a few aggressive bending stances, as if she were some old warhorse being trotted out for a final battle. She caught Zuko's eye and he smiled at her. Real battle was different from sparring matches. When you were practicing against a friend, your adrenaline got going, but nothing could compare to the rush you got when someone was actually trying to kill you. Katara hadn't had a real chance to test her skill with the tanto knives, either. They were strapped at her waist, and her waterskins on her back. She'd switched into her travelling clothes, too. It was a freeing feeling, calling back days when things were more complicated, but yet so much simpler. It was sinful to feel this excited, but for the night, for the moment, she would revel in this sin.

When night completely fell and the stars stood white against the deep blue sky, Zuko stood straighter and nodded at Jee. Soldiers were called to attention. Faces were grim. Conversation died down.

"If you want to help," Zuko said, moving forward to address Sokka, "I need you to stay here and keep an eye on the palace. I don't know that anything will come this way, but I'm not willing to risk it."

Sokka laughed. "So we're the B Team, huh? I'll take it. At least you haven't forgotten that we're warriors, too."

Sokka and Zuko clasped arms in Water Tribe fashion, boyish grins on their faces.

"How can I forget?" Zuko quipped. "You won't shut up about it."

Sokka slapped Zuko on the back, and Zuko walked over to Aang, his mood changing entirely.

"Aang, I need you to take a back seat in this—"

"Yeah," Aang scoffed, brushing Zuko's hand off his shoulder. "This is just like Sokka said. You're trying to prove how strong you are—"

"I need you to put our personal difficulties aside," Zuko said, standing back and addressing Aang as the Fire Lord. "This is about a ruler's duty to their nation. As Fire Lord, and as the Royal Consort, it is our duty to protect the Fire Nation. Everyone needs to see that Katara does not dominate me, that I do not dominate her, and that we are an equal team."

Everyone was watching them, including Jee and the soldiers. Katara moved forward, ready to break up a fight if either got too feisty. Aang stared at Zuko, but he didn't back down.

"Your feelings for Katara won't go away overnight, and I respect that." Zuko looked at a point above Aang's shoulder. "I've never loved anyone more than I love her… Let my nation see us and respect us as a team. I'm not asking you to sit back and do nothing. Just follow our lead."

"Look," Aang said, finally turning away, "the important thing is that we take care of Chem—"

"Ugh, you're such an _idiot_, Aang!" Toph gave Aang a most decidedy unfriendly punch on the arm. "He's asking for your blessing." She gestured at Katara.

"I know what he's asking," Aang said irritably. For a long moment he said nothing, looked at no one. "No matter how I feel about Katara, I don't agree with this. I don't trust them to fight fair. Just so you know. I'll hang back."

"Thank you," Katara said. When she stepped forward to hug him, Aang turned and walked away.

A cloud passed by, darknening the night. When Zuko squeezed Katara's hand, she squeezed back.

"If that's not a mess, I don't know what is," Jun said in a mock whisper.

* * *

><p>Chem felt <em>alive<em>.

"You and I are all here for a reason," he said, passion blazing bright behind his eyes.

The abandoned factory was full, far fuller than that little warehouse had been when he was going to rescue Ursa. This was an army. This was a force worthy of that title and of this mission. Soldiers trained and armed stood before him, generals behind him. They were all his to command, the puppet master pulling the strings.

"This Fire Lord is no good. We can agree on that. Whatever else we may believe, whatever else our goals may be, we all understand this crucial fact…" Chem paused, his hands clasped behind his back. He leaned forward, made eye contact as if he was speaking to each of them individually. "He must _die_."

Heads nodded and a few soldiers rattled their weapons. However short this alliance might be, Chem would not waste it. This opportunity was served to him on a gilded platter, and he would have been a fool to not grasp it. Victory was so close, and he could feel the wind on his face. He could smell the flowers in the air. The time would come when he would have to deal with Din and the other Ozai supporters, but for now… Now, they would join forces, and they would be strong, and they would overwhelm.

"We understand that the Fire Nation cannot exist as it has always existed. Let us put aside our differences for the moment. Our goal tonight is to ensure that the Fire Nation simply does not crumble to ruin and ashes. This…" Chem paused with his head down and his arms extended to either side. They were open in a gesture of welcome and love. "This is our home, and we _must_ protect our home."

The cheers got a little louder, and Chem could feel the passion rising in the room. He would whip them into a frenzy so strong that they would not feel their wounds. The Fire Lord would not spare them. They would fight through the pain.

"Battle awaits us. We will bring the charge to them, and we will lay waste to the palace if we must. What is made of stone can be rebuilt. We must purge this nation of the _plague_ that is its current Fire Lord. He cannot be allowed to live. So long as he is alive, people will still cling to the hope that he will return to power."

Their shouts and cheers were the panacea to every wound, every insult he suffered. It calmed him. It soothed him. It reminded him that the greatest trial was still in front of him, but that he would overcome it. There was much that the Fire Lord could do, but he would not let himself believe that he was powerless, either.

"Let us make no mistake," Chem yelled over the noise. "He is not the savior they want him to be."

Before the night was through, blood would be shed. Chem would see to that.

Personally.

* * *

><p>Part 1 of the raid, y'all! With this chapter and last chapter, I was thinking about Ursa's position in the Fire Nation. I think there would be a lot of animosity toward her, particularly from people who were heavily involvedinvested in Azulon, Iroh, and the status quo. Even though no one said anything about Ursa's role in Azulon's death, you _know_ people had to be suspicious. Iroh is slated to be the next Fire Lord, there is massive love and support for the honored general, his son dies in the war, then suddenly Azulon dies, Ozai is crowned instead of Iroh, and then Ursa disappearing? And then the war kicks up, and Fire Nation people start dying in droves (sons and daughters of the common folk). It's not safe to hate on Ozai, so they hate on Ursa. Plus, there's the thing with the poison, so I think if Chem suddenly died (in the same way as Azulon, hmmmm) when Ursa returns to the capitol... No one would ever accept food at the Fire Lord's palace, which would be a sign of disrespect. In short, Ursa's also a blessing and a curse, and Hau knows this. He's such a father figure for Zuko. And, then I realized: I've surrounded Zuko with father figures. Iroh, Hakoda, Hau... Yina stepped in as mother figure. Next chapter, everything's going down!


	28. Bloody Red

How such a large horde could move so silently was beyond her. Openly, Katara, Zuko, Toph, Aang, Jee, and fifteen soldiers moved through the streets of the capitol. In the palace district, the patrols were thinner, but no less alert. She and Zuko walked out front, hands hovering near their weapons, their eyes alert, catching signals from the hidden part of their division. The streets and the night were quiet, but Katara was aware of the faces peering out at them through closed curtains and through gaps in shuttered windows. So long as it was unarmed citizens watching them, she didn't have a problem.

They moved unaccosted through the different districts, from the palace to the market to the lower, and finally the factory district. The night felt like it was becoming darker the closer they got, and the adrenaline and excitement rushed through Katara's body, making her hyper aware of every droplet of water. She could feel the sweat as it beaded down Zuko's back, could feel the rhythm of her own pulsating heart, the moisture hanging in the air. Just the march was exhilarating, and it felt like they reached their destination too soon.

They took their positions a few blocks away from the abandoned factory, and Katara checked to the right, pleased to see Inara's group in position. Pleased to see that they hadn't been abandoned. Hideo, Long, and Inara strode forward, bowed to her and Zuko.

"They're already inside," Hideo said. "My men have them surrounded at the back. It's pretty close quarters there, so we'll drive them to the front."

"I've been watching and listening as much as I could," Long said. "Chem is getting them all riled up. He's looking for bloodshed."

"Are they suspicious?" Katara asked, her hands going to her waterskins.

"Chem's not. He gets caught up in the moment a likes to put on a show." Long smiled smugly, and Inara laughed outright.

"We've got them cornered on all sides, and we're ready to flush them out at your word, my lord," Hideo said.

Zuko nodded, then adjusted the strap on his dao. Katara didn't miss his little smirk. They would be lying if they said they weren't going to enjoy this for more reasons than one.

"So… We going to smash some stuff or what?" Toph asked, giving Zuko a good-natured punch in the back.

Zuko chuckled as he put his hand on her head, a gesture of affection Katara had noted from their Ember Island days.

"Listen up," Zuko said, motioning Aang forward. "Our goal is to round up as many of them as possible. Hau is waiting at the palace, and we've prepped large holding cells until we can process everyone. We are operating under the assumption that not everyone will be violent, though we can expect the majority to attack on sight. We are _not_ aiming to kill. If someone drops their weapons and surrenders, we _do not_ pursue the attack."

Zuko fixed them all with a firm stare, including Toph, but she waved this away. Katara smiled openly, but that smile faltered when she caught Aang's eye. He was watching, not with open disapproval, but as if he was contemplating her, not sure what he was seeing. Katara cleared her throat and readjusted her shirt.

"Make sure your divisions are clear on this point," Zuko said. "Anyone who is caught killing a surrendered member of Chem's army will face disciplinary action. Am I clear?"

"Clear," they all responded.

"Now, let's kick some ass," Toph said, slamming her fist into her open palm.

Zuko gave the signal and they began moving out.

Katara and Zuko stood at the front of the line, Toph and Aang behind them, as Hideo held his position to the rear and Jee took a portion of his division to begin the actual raid. There was a three count before two of Jee's soldiers used their shoulders like battering rams and broke the hinges on the door. People screamed in surprise, and Zuko and Katara moved in surrounded by Jee's men, ready to draw their weapons, but leaving them sheathed for the moment.

Chem was standing on an old platform, his hands at his sides. He smirked when he caught sight of them.

"Speak the devil's name and he shall appear."

All eyes turned on them, and Katara felt the water stored in reservoirs close to the factory's ceiling. Behind them, Toph was flexing her toes, making the metal on the floor ripple ever so slightly. All around the room, hands were on weapons. Chem's words echoed to the high ceilings, bouncing off the walls. Quickly, Katara assessed the situation; inside the factory, there would be enough room to move around, but if all of Jee's division, not to say anything of the others, came inside, it would be too crowded. They would not move efficiently.

"I'm giving you this chance to step down, Chem," Zuko said, his voice echoing over Chem's. "You have one chance to make this peaceful."

"The two moving on your right are going to attack," Toph whispered.

Katara turned so she could see them from the corner of her eye. They were pushing their swords out of their scabbards, fingers wrapping around the hilt, ready to strike, moving slowly so as to muffle the sound.

"There is no surrender," Chem said, laughing. "Not to you. You burned that bridge long ago."

"That bridge was never opened to me."

Again, Chem laughed, and a few of Ozai's generals smiled appreciatively. Katara watched those two men inch closer to her, perhaps thinking she was the weaker target, that she wasn't paying as much attention. She smirked, knowing they would strike first, hoping they would throw off whatever plan Chem had.

"This is the only offer, Chem," Katara said, her voice matching Zuko's in strength. "Come peacefully."

"I don't respond to traitors."

With that, the two men to Katara's right lunged forward, and she ducked under the first blow, slamming one against the wall and freezing him while the hilt of Zuko's dao slammed into the first's stomach, knocking the air from him. This one Toph encased in metal on the floor.

It was like opening the floodgates, and the water hummed against Katara's fingertips, listening for instruction and moving around her body to shield, to engulf, to knock unconscious. Noise echoed off the walls, bounced around and repeated, and the din pressed against Katara's ears as she struggled to keep sight of the important people. Ozai's generals and the soldiers they'd called to service were there; she could only hope that they would be on her side when the time came. For the moment, they were content to stay at the fringes of the battle, many not even drawing their weapons.

Three benders were in front of them, and Katara and Zuko attacked together, their movements synchronized. Katara spun the water toward the right as one blocked Zuko's attack from her left, and Katara's water caught another in the back, sending him stumbling forward, but not before fire exploded to her right, causing her to throw up a hasty water shield to block the attack.

People were moving and shifting, formations holding and breaking and reforming, the outnumbered trying to outmaneuver. It was utter chaos in a factory quickly becoming too small, and Katara stuck to Southern Style for greater freedom, spinning the water around her, using it like a hammer, slamming it into the legs of three of Chem's soldiers, taking them down, then freezing them to the ground. She had been through another battle like this, been on the losing side, and she knew the ways in which desperation drove you to new lows. She would not let those lows tear her family apart.

Sweat tickled her hairline and rolled down her back, and rather than spend time wiping it away, Katara collected it, mixed it with her bending water, sent it punching into stomachs as something swept her legs from under her. Metal rolled protectively over her shielding her from a fire blast that was quickly dispersed, and Zuko was standing over her, clearing the area, giving her time to reorient herself.

With ice on her forearm, she blocked a blow from a dagger, and her heart beat its happy staccato rhythm because this is what she was born to do. She was a warrior at heart, happiest moving and manipulating her element, thinking on her feet. It was like being at the Phoenix Brigade prison all over again, and Katara resisted the dangerous call of the thrum of blood, pumping quicker through veins. She looked instead for Zuko, saw him holding his own against two firebenders, but decided to help anyway. Dual whips of water and fire lashed out at bodies, pushing them back and away as the ground buckled underneath and a great beast made of rock and stone with a gaping maw of razor sharp teeth reared up and devoured the woman on the right. Taking advantage of the swordswoman's shock on her left, Katara froze the woman's weapon and delivered a powerful kick, shattering it to a thousand pieces before freezing the woman to the side of the building. Toph reinforced that binding by wrapping the woman in the metal. Zuko didn't need these buildings anyway.

A strong gust of wind knocked Zuko into her, and Katara turned to see Aang blasting away three of Ozai's supporters who'd turned on them during the fight.

"Fucking Agni, this is chaos," Zuko yelled, a smile on his face as he punched a man in the stomach with the pommel of his dao.

If this was one of those adventure scrolls she liked to read, Katara would pull Zuko to her, kissing him roughly before shoving him away and rejoining the fray. She smiled at the thought. This was not one of her adventure scrolls. There was no way stories could get her blood flowing the way it did when someone was throwing daggers at her, and she had to dodge and shield to return fire. There was blood on her shirt and on her pants, in her hair and on her face. Some of it was her own, as she failed to dodge an attack, or was taken by surprised or overwhelmed. Zuko said no killing, but there was no way to have a battle of this size without a little blood. Katara cringed when some of it got in her mouth, but she didn't—couldn't—think about it for too long; someone was coming up behind Aang and she sent a ball of ice into their side, knocking them out of the way.

At the edge of the battle, she could see figures moving away, some with their hands behind their backs. Prisoners. Chem's numbers were dwindling. Katara sought out Zuko again, this dance of perpetual motion constantly bringing them together only to push them apart, fought with her back to his back, reaching out to stagnant water in the factories and sending it crashing through the windows, breaking the steel frames and shattering glass as it formed thick, cold cages around a group of benders. Toph was like their cleanup crew, coming by with stone and metal enclosures, reinforcing that which was about to break, ripping panels off the sides and roofs of buildings, slamming them into the ground.

"I'm taking down Chem," Zuko yelled to her, and Katara followed where he led, a mad dash, covering his back as enemies realized where he was going.

Shielding and returning fire left and right, covering so Zuko didn't have to slow down in his sprint, hot on his heels, outside into the night she ran, the fighting just as intense, and Zuko's dao were in his hands, and a knee to the kidney broke Bo, Chem's second in command, out of his fight with Jee. Bo lunged forward, head butting Zuko in the stomach, and like liquid she and he switched places, and Katara took up the attack where Zuko broke off, guarding her while she traded fierce blows with Bo, and like liquid he and she switched places and Zuko was forcing Bo against the ground, his dao crossed, ready to decapitate, and she guarded him while this madness was brought to an end.

"Where is Chem?" Zuko demanded over the noise. "Call them off, and let's end this."

"A duel?"

"Hardly. Justice."

"For whom?"

"The people of the Fire Nation."

Bo laughed, then spit on Zuko, and Katara felt him tense, and she risked leaving them exposed, hoping Jee would fill in when she moved, mimicking Zuko's dao with her knives, knowing she could push Zuko back if he reacted too harshly. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest at her back, made a side note to check his heart, focused her attention on Bo, who was looking like he might reconsider the offer of surrender.

Three attacks were launched at them, but never connected. All Katara could tell from the corner of her eye was that Toph was there, a rock shield taking a fire missile, returning one of its own.

"If that had hit," Katara growled, "you would be dead, too. Stand down. Or I can move and let the man you just spit on decapitate you."

Katara hoped Zuko was smiling his most sinister, bloodthirsty smile, because Bo looked like he wouldn't give up the fight any other way, and there was no sign of Chem. His fists were still clenched, and when he moved an arm, Katara kicked him hard in the stomach, and he doubled over, inadvertently pressing his neck on their blades. Bo looked up again, then his eyes scanned the battlefield behind them, and finally, he leaned back, raising his hands in submission. It felt like an eternity that they remained frozen there, Bo in submission, Zuko and Katara with their weapons at his throat, waiting for him to make some sudden move, provoke them just once. Zuko released his hold first, moving behind Bo, and Toph came into her field of vision, fashioning metal cuffs to bind him. Only when Zuko was hoisting Bo to his feet did Katara release her grip on her blades, spinning them, putting them back in their holsters.

"Enough," Bo shouted.

Katara was about to demand that Bo repeat himself, but she saw Zuko start forward, his attention in another direction, and she followed his gaze.

Chem.

He was within easy distance; twenty steps at the most, they could detain him, but someone was closer, one of Ozai's generals, and Zuko faltered. Chem did not see the man coming up behind him, did not notice that he was being followed as he sought some place away from the battlefield, realizing that he would be of no use, that he would only be a target. Katara could count the seconds by the beat of her heart, and the world was slowed down, reduced to tiny details, the minutia of the world available for their scrutiny.

Her heart thudded the seconds. Boom. Boom. Boom.

Some of Ozai's solders had held their word. There was a chance that this one would, too. But there was a greater chance that he wouldn't. Katara started forward as the ground shook underneath her. Toph was moving, bending the earth.

Her heart thudded the seconds. Boom. Boom. Boom.

Katara turned to Zuko, and he was taking steps forward again. When she returned to Chem, the general already had his knife buried in Chem's back, already had his arm around Chem's neck, was already pulling him further back onto the blade.

Toph and Bo had not seen this; Bo was repeating his command, Toph holding a rock funnel up to his mouth. This time, it got everyone's attention. There was some reluctance, but in those moments where Chem's army was paying attention to Bo, their own forces did some restraining. The adrenaline was still thrumming through Katara's body, and she doubted she could ever come down from this high.

* * *

><p>On their way back to the palace, they encountered many more people, mostly citizens coming out to see what all the noise was. Hideo's soldiers were out in full force, making sure the public didn't get too close to the parade of prisoners. Zuko and Katara strode bloodily through the capitol, trailing in their wake an army's worth of men and women, many detained, more detaining. They had done well in keeping news of Chem's rebellion quiet, and people were shocked and terrified to see the mass moving silently through the streets, pulling children back inside houses, and turning their faces away.<p>

Katara reached out and grabbed Zuko's hand, laced their fingers together, held him tightly. They walked in silence, and the adrenaline did leave, making Katara feel tired and spent. It wasn't that different a feeling than what she felt after the battle with the Phoenix Brigade. She would not allow Zuko to carry her this time, though. She wanted people to see her as strong. This was important to her; she wanted to be seen as Zuko's equal.

Hau, Yina, and a few others were waiting for them at the palace gates. As they neared, Hau began giving out orders, arranging for escorts to the prison, instructions for which cells to place people in, an important instruction that Bo was to get his own, isolated cell. Instructions for Chem's body. Through all this, Yina kept her eyes trained on Bo, as if waiting for something, some cue that would set her into motion. Zuko didn't act as if he saw this, though Katara saw him looking at Yina a few times.

"Your family is waiting in the sitting room, your majesties," Hau said, once the crowd had dispersed with their commands. "Princess Azula, Lady Ty Lee, Master Pakku, and Lady Kanna have retired for the night, but the others are eagerly awaiting your return."

"Shall I have your bath drawn?" Yina asked, directing the question at Katara.

Katara smiled. Zuko would likely collapse on the bed for a bit before taking a bath, and Yina would have to get the sheets changed and cleaned again. They'd been in enough bloody battles for her to know just how hard it was to get dried blood out of fabric.

"No. I'm not sure how long we'll be with our family. I'll do it when we get to our room."

"I'm going straight to bed," Aang announced, sidestepping all of them and mumbling something about an early day in the library.

"Geez—"

"Don't, Toph," Zuko said, heading inside. Everyone fell in step behind him.

Ursa was the first one to greet them when the door opened, immediately yanking Zuko into a hug and checking him over for injuries, fussing over what she found. Katara didn't miss Sokka's angry mumble about how it wasn't fair that Zuko, Katara, and Toph got to be covered in blood, and he didn't. Suki argued with him briefly about why this was not an enviable thing.

"Thank the spirits," Ursa said, using a handkerchief to wipe the blood away from their faces. "I know you're master benders, but I was worried."

Zuko made a few fussy noises, but he didn't fight terribly hard against Ursa's mothering. Katara didn't put up a fight at all. She quite liked it.


	29. In the Blink of an Eye

After Ursa got her fill of mothering them and making sure they were alright, after Hakoda had grilled them on what happened, after Iroh asked after numbers and damage to the area, Zuko and Katara were finally allowed to bathe and go to bed.

"Why so glum?" Katara asked, brushing her hair at the vanity.

Zuko was sitting on the bed, hunched over, his head in his hands. He was frowning again. He sighed when he looked up at her.

"I let him die. I could have done something. I _should_ have done something."

Katara stopped brushing and slowly sat the hairbrush on the vanity. She'd only considered that she could have done something else briefly. In the end, she'd known there hadn't been enough time. Her indecision felt like it took an eternity, but it couldn't have been more than thirty seconds. There really wasn't anything they could do.

"There was no time to react," she said, standing in front of Zuko and placing her hands on his shoulders.

"Lie to the world," Zuko said angrily, looking up at her, "but don't _ever_ lie to yourself. There _was_ something we could have done. An ice spear would have done the job just as well as lightning."

"Zuko, we _couldn't _—"

"Indecision is just as much a choice as anything else."

"And then what?" Katara asked, not understanding why Zuko was beating himself up over this. "We would have to make the same choice if Chem had lived."

Katara positioned herself behind Zuko on the bed. She kneaded the tension out of his shoulders as she thought. If Toph's reaction was any true judge, she certainly hadn't known. After carting away most of the offenders, Katara, Zuko, Toph, and Aang had gone back with Jee to search through the dead and wounded. As much as Zuko wanted to keep the killing to a minimum, there was never any doubt in their minds that someone was going to die.

When Toph was told that Chem was that dead body on her left, her eyes had gone wide and she'd stumbled backwards. It was no surprise that Aang didn't know; he'd been on the other side of the battlefield. Chem had been killed in the time it took Toph to bend a rock funnel and hold it up to Bo's mouth. By the time Bo was shouting his order to surrender again, Chem's body was already on the ground, Ozai's general having moved on.

Zuko made a satisfied noise as he relaxed under her touch. Katara moved her hands from his shoulders up to his neck.

"You know," Zuko said, "you're always giving me a massage. Want to switch?"

Eagerly, Katara nodded. She slipped out of her nightgown, smiling as Zuko raised his eyebrow.

"Well, it wasn't going to be that kind of massage, but ok."

Zuko's hands were warm as he started working the muscles in her lower back, the heat helping to ease away the tension. Katara buried her face a little deeper in the pillow.

"I don't like that it was one of Ozai's generals who did the killing," Zuko said. "I can't help thinking that they'll try to hold it over my head. Like they did me a favor, and now they expect something in return."

"Do you know which one?" Katara looked over her shoulder at Zuko. His brows were furrowed, and he was frowning.

"Yeah. Former Major General Din. He was one of the first I got rid of from Ozai's rule." Zuko stopped massaging, resting his hands on his thighs. "It was the look in his eyes, Katara. I know he was talking to mom recently. Trying to recruit her or something."

"We've got Yina watching all of them, though, right?" Katara asked, pushing herself up a little so she could see Zuko better. "We'll keep tabs on these guys and not give them a chance to start calling in favors."

It wouldn't be above Ozai to command his generals to kill Chem. Certainly not if Ozai thought it could maneuver him into a greater position of power. Zuko was still frowning, looking like he might drift off into a serious bout of brooding, so Katara pulled him down on top of her, kissing him and running her hands through his hair.

"It's been a long day, Zoozie."

"You can say that again."

He chuckled lightly and snuggled up to her. When he kissed her, it was sweet and gentle, and Katara followed him when he pulled back, wondering just how he could remain so _soft_, so yielding to her touch. Her hand ghosted over his lightning scar, tracing the familiar lines on his abdomen without looking, memories of that day distant in her mind, kept away by the feel of his hand on her back, pulling her closer to him, the feel of his tongue moving along hers, the feel of his chest rising and falling beneath her hand.

"Let me check your heart," Katara said, pulling away from him slightly.

Zuko shrugged and lay on his back obediently, and Katara pulled water from a plant across the room. She coaxed it into a glow, made it hover over, then sink into his chest. She felt his off rhythm, still strong, and sending the water back to the plant, she traded her bending for her ear, listening as best she could.

"How does it sound?" Zuko ran his fingers through her hair, loosening a few tangles.

"Just like you."

* * *

><p>Aang was not at breakfast. She tried to tell herself that this did not hurt.<p>

"We should have stayed in bed," Katara whispered to Zuko.

"There's too much to do."

Admittedly, with Aang out of the way, there was much less tension at breakfast, and no awkward, devastating conversations were started. There was no need for her to feel like running and hiding, but there was also no way to show Aang just how sorry she was and make amends before it was too late.

After breakfast, Katara went looking for Aang, but she couldn't find him. Giving up her search, she went to sit by the turtleduck pond before she needed to meet Hau and Zuko for a review of the Chem situation. She was surprised to see that Ursa was there.

"How are you, little duck?" Ursa asked, patting the spot next to her.

Katara shrugged. "I want Aang to not be mad at me. He won't even talk to me."

"Give him time." Ursa tossed bread to the ducks, and the animals swarmed around, pecking noisily at the food. "This is all so new for him."

"I want him to at least understand that I'm sorry."

"But are you, really?"

Katara was caught off guard by the question. She looked at Ursa, hoping to see if the older woman was joking, but Ursa kept her attention on the ducks, reaching out to stroke one's head with a light touch. Of course she was sorry for what happened. She hadn't realized that Aang was still waiting for her. They'd been friendly after the breakup, but she did her best to never give Aang any mixed signals after that. She tried her hardest to make sure Aang knew they were just friends.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Katara said, worrying the fabric of her pants. "Of course I'm really sorry."

Ursa shook her head slowly. "I _regret_ my role in Ozai's rise to the throne, but I am not _sorry_ for the part I played. What Ozai did with his power is despicable, but I was never under the impression that he would do anything else. I never lied to myself about the results of my actions."

Katara accepted the piece of bread Ursa handed her, and she absently tossed tiny bits into the pond.

"The moment you and Zuko chose to keep your relationship a secret, you started down this path."

"We never thought it would _work_." Katara slammed her fists against her thighs, irritated at having to go through this again.

"Oh, I don't doubt that it would have fallen into death and ruin," Ursa said, still watching the turtleducks. "But your choices led you down this path. With each year, you kept saying 'this isn't going to work.' At what point did you think you two might have a chance?"

Katara turned away, even though Ursa wasn't looking. She'd forgotten that mothers could sometimes be blunt and harsh. Gran had always been blunt and harsh, so Katara had never associated her grandmother's scoldings with the scoldings of a mother. Ursa had so effortlessly filled that void, and now she was just filling it even further.

"You think we should have told him when it first happened? Do you think I've ruined our relationship?" Katara asked earnestly. She was afraid to turn and see disappointment in Ursa's eyes.

"Not at all, little duck." Ursa placed her hand on Katara's cheek, making her jump. "You probably should have told him when you realized you actually _could_ marry Zuko. But I'm not taking sides. I've had a talk with Aang, too."

Ursa kissed Katara's temple, then stood, brushing the grass from her dress.

"Give him time, Katara. He needs to adjust the way he sees the world. And himself. And _you_."

* * *

><p>Katara was restless during her meeting with Hau and Zuko. She knew Ursa said that Aang needed time to digest everything that happened, that his anger would probably fade away, but she was afraid that they couldn't be friends again. In her mind, the longer she stayed away, the more Aang's pain grew.<p>

Zuko gently laid his hand on hers, and Katara realized she was shaking.

"Things will work out," he said.

Katara nodded. They had to.

Hau was laying a stack of paper in front of them on Zuko's desk.

"This is all the information we've gathered about Chem since he first came to our attention. Summarized, of course, and placed in order of importance."

Hau pushed the papers closer to them, and Katara and Zuko skimmed it. There was an overview of his record as Ursa's secretary, his family background, as well as his crimes. There was his role in the poison plot, theft from the palace, pawning of royal artifacts, sedition, treason. Katara shook her head as she looked through the lists.

"As previously discussed, the formal charges are theft, treason, sedition, and attempted murder," Hau read from his notes. "Of course, now, none of that matters." He shrugged. "It's saved you from one serious decision, but there is still the rest of Chem's army to deal with."

"Most of them will be served with lesser charges, but there are a few we can't afford to let go," Zuko said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Bo's got to stay locked up," Katara said, picking through the stack of papers. "Do we have a list of officers in Chem's army?"

Hau smiled. "That is where we get lucky. There is no hard structure in Chem's army. He 'promotes' people as needed. Bo does not command the same loyalty as Chem."

Well, there was a silver lining in most every situation. Katara leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she stared out the window. It was nice that they didn't have to make the decision about executing Chem, but it wouldn't be the last time the issue came up. She was certain of it.

"Long and Inara said that Rue stuck out in people's minds. Is it possible that she could become a replacement for Chem?"

Hau sat quietly, thinking for a while. "We would have to watch her, I think. She has not taken well to her time in prison. Twice she's had to be put in isolation for rowdy behavior."

"The work of a Fire Lord never ends," Zuko said, turning to her. Katara smiled softly, patting his cheek.

"In any event," Hau said, clearing his throat, "this allows us to deal with the council members intending to exploit the power of the throne. That battle's not over, either."

"Do you think they were serious? In that they'd try to exploit us?"

"It's hard to tell," Zuko said. "Better to be on the safe side."

"Then there are the remaining Ozai supporters," Hau offered, as if power hungry council members weren't enough. "Princess Ursa has done us a great favor by drawing them out of hiding. Mistress Yina is still trailing them, the better to jail them and strip their power when the time comes. We will likely be having the execution conversation again when it is time to deal with them."

"Marrying you can't be easy, can it?" Katara asked half-jokingly, placing her hand on Zuko's cheek.

He smiled outright, and Katara ran her thumb over his lips. She loved his completely open, unguarded smile.

"I'd rather fight that battle with you at my side than with anyone else." Zuko covered her hand with his own.

Katara hoped that Zuko was finally realizing that this burden didn't have to be his alone. She'd made her choice, and she wouldn't back down. For him—for Zuko and for the Fire Lord—she'd do just about anything. There was a long road in front of them, but the weight they had to carry would be less when spread over both their shoulders.

"So what next?" Katara asked.

Hau smiled. "Something far more pleasant than talk of executions and criminals. A few documents need to be signed, making your engagement official, giving you governing powers, and giving you a crown, my lady."

As Katara threw her arms around Zuko's neck, she thought it would be a nice change of pace to have a stretch of three days where she didn't feel manic.

* * *

><p>A few documents turned out to be seven, and what could have been done in fifteen minutes was done in several ceremonies that lasted nearly three hours.<p>

"You know," Hakoda said to Zuko, his hand poised above the document that would make their engagement official, "this is all a bit much."

They were in the library, and the Fire Sages were consulting an old book about the marriage history of the Fire Nation's royal family, discussing amongst themselves details for the wedding. Zuko claimed these were only ceremonial details, but Katara was sure she heard one of them mention a date for the wedding. She glared at them. It was her wedding, and _she_ would decide the details.

"I'm sorry," Zuko said to Hakoda sincerely. "I think everyone's a bit rusty on the procedures for the Fire Lord's wedding."

"It's been centuries since a reigning Fire Lord was unmarried," Ursa offered, a pleasant and amused smile on her face.

Hakoda sighed and signed his name, and this paper was whisked away by Hau.

"This will make you an official citizen of the Fire Nation," Hau said, sliding something in front of Katara.

Granted, much of the three hours was spent with everyone carefully reading over the contracts and documents to make sure they were satisfactory. Katara rubbed her eyes, as she read through the citizenship papers. She was glad to see that Zuko had done away with that stupid pledge to the Fire Lord. Not like she was ever going to say that, anyway, and if she did, it would be a _highly_ modified version, enough to make the Fire Sages, secretaries, and attendants cover their ears. No one would ever think to scold the Fire Lord the way she would.

There was now arguing from the Fire Sages in muffled tones, and everyone looked up to see four angry faces. The eldest sage was jabbing his finger at the book, and making a rude gesture at one of his subordinates.

"I've been a sage longer than you, you git," he said. Then he knocked the guy's hat off.

"You've got to be kidding me," Zuko mumbled, dropping his head to the table.

"Gentlemen, please," Ursa said sharply, as if she were scolding children.

"Forgive me, my lady," the eldest sage said, bowing at them. "It would appear that tradition is no longer valued as highly as it once was."

Katara tried not to listen in on the sages as she signed the citizenship papers, and was finally given the last paper, the one that would make her a princess and give her as much authority as Zuko. He was busy talking with the sages, and several times, Ursa was called over and was consulted as pages were flipped in the book.

With the crisis temporarily averted with the sages, and all the papers signed, it was finally time for Katara to get her crown. The papers had been signed and official seals had been applied. Their family was gathered to bear witness, and Katara stood in front of them all, her heart beating rapidly. Gran was smiling warmly and nodding encouragingly, and it was hard for Katara to not get choked up. So much had happened to all of them, and even though those early years together had been so turbulent and violent, she wouldn't have changed them for the world. If they hadn't fought in the war together and against each other, if they hadn't faced horrible truths and been asked to do horrible things at such a young age, Katara couldn't say for sure that they would have ever made it to this moment.

One look to her left, one look at Zuko, said it was all worth it.

"Today, we witness the birth of a princess of the Fire Nation," the elder sage said. "I ask you, Lady Katara, are you willing to serve your adopted nation?"

"Yes," Katara replied, a smile on her face as she looked at Zuko.

"Are you willing to bear the heir to your nation?"

"Yes." She blushed just a little, knowing her father was at her right.

"Are you willing to love your nation?"

"Yes."

"Are you willing to fight for your nation?"

"Yes."

"Are you willing to sacrifice for your nation?"

"Yes."

"Are you willing to die for your nation?"

"Yes."

The elder sage held the crown over her head.

"So you have sworn an oath of loyalty to your nation and to your people. So you have sworn that, from this day forward, you will act as a princess, and leave the title of lady behind." The sage fitted the crown into Katara's topknot. "We banish you forever, _Lady_ Katara, and welcome you with open arms, _Princess_ Katara, daughter of Kya and Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe. Betrothed of Fire Lord Zuko, son of Princess Ursa. Rise."


	30. My Adoring Public

Katara had thought she was nervous when she and Zuko went to that state dinner where Lis confronted her. Then, she thought she was nervous when she had to confess her love for Zuko to her father. After that, she thought her nerves reached their height while she waited for her father's answer, to learn whether he had given his permission for Zuko to marry her. All of those, by comparison, could not be nerves.

"Relax, Sugar Queen," Toph said, reclining in her chair. "I can feel your heart about to explode."

"You're not helping, Toph," Suki chastised.

Today was the day she and Zuko would announce their engagement to the people of the Fire Nation. It was a massive production involving addressing the public from one of the palace's balconies. Ursa had spared no luxury in preparing Katara for the moment. Her bath had been filled with moon peach blossoms, and she'd gotten a special massage. Her hair had been washed and rewashed, and Ursa had fussed over hair ornaments and jewelry. All the women were gathered in Katara's room, which had been Azula's old room, and Ursa had been amused to no end to find that there was already a nice selection of jewelry and hair ornaments in Water Tribe colors and patterns.

"Zuko's got really great taste," Ty Lee said, trying on a pair of earrings. "These are stunning."

Katara blushed, wishing that knot in her stomach would go away. Ursa was twisting and braiding Katara's hair into an elaborate style, much like she'd done on the way to the Fire Nation, while chatting with Gran about different wedding customs. If she stayed in that room any longer, Katara was pretty sure she'd pass out.

"Uh oh!" Suki called, shooing Ty Lee into the bathroom. "Get a cool cloth, I think she might faint."

"Is your dress too tight?" Gran asked, checking the ties and loosening them just a bit.

Ty Lee came back with the damp cloth and pressed it to Katara's forehead and neck. It did help her feel better, but she was still incredibly nervous about how the people would react. Sure, they'd been fine with them getting all cuddly, and yeah, her and Zuko's relationship did resemble fabled romances, but the novelty of the situation would soon fade away, and they'd be left dealing with the reality, whatever that was. She hoped Zuko was having a better time of it than she was.

"There," Ursa announced stepping back. "All done."

She pulled Katara to her feet and led her to the mirror. For the occasion, she'd chosen to wear the dress Zuko sent her, since he hadn't had a chance to see her in it yet. It was a beautiful blue linen, just heavy enough to keep her comfortable in the mid spring weather. It hung off her shoulders, a fur trim surrounding her collar. She smiled at her reflection, and that eased the tension in her stomach. She would love to see the look on Zuko's face.

She didn't have to wait long.

"Princess, the public address will be in five minutes," Yina called as she knocked on the door.

It would take a while for Katara to get used to being called princess, but she'd be lying if she said it didn't make her feel all kinds of wonderful. With a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped outside. Yina gave her the once over and nodded approvingly, and led the way down the hall. Behind Katara, her family fell in line, Azula and Ty Lee bringing up the rear. Katara had noticed that Azula was quiet the entire time, mostly doing her best to avoid eye contact with any of them. She really hoped Azula wasn't having a setback. She'd seemed to be doing so well when Katara first came to the Fire Nation. Now, she wasn't so sure.

Sokka's laughter announced the men before they even rounded the corner, and Yina halted their progression. Whatever he was laughing at, Sokka found hilarious; even as Zuko stopped dead in his tracks, causing Pakku to sidestep, Sokka was still doubled over and wiping his eyes. Aang looked at her for a long minute before turning to look at a painting. Tentatively, Zuko took a few steps forward, his mouth hanging open. Belatedly, he must have realized how he looked, because he blushed, closed his mouth, then looked at the floor.

"You look absolutely beautiful," Hakoda said, stepping forward to embrace her.

He held her at arm's length, but Katara was looking at Zuko over her father's shoulder. He'd come out of his momentary stupor, and was smiling softly at her. He looked exceptionally regal in his black and gold. He stood tall as if that mantle didn't add an extra five pounds, his hair swept away from his face and pulled into his topknot. The crown had been polished to a high gloss as well.

Katara loved the Fire Lord. She loved that he was regal and stern and just, that he took time to consider the hard decisions, and that he wasn't above staying up all night if he had to. She loved that he would put himself on the line, and that he would never ask others to do what he was not willing to do himself. She loved that he'd chosen _her_, that she could break past those barriers, that she was the only one who could navigate the labyrinth that protected his heart.

When Hakoda stepped aside, she went to Zuko as he held his arms out to her. She surprised him with a kiss instead of a hug, her hand caressing his scar as he tightened his arms around her waist. Ty Lee squealed at their tender kiss, and Suki moved next to Sokka, even though he grumbled about them always making out in front of people. Like he was one to talk.

Zuko nuzzled her neck, Katara let out a decidedly girly giggle, blushing when Hakoda gave her a very confused look. It wasn't often that her father saw her act so girly and giddy and in love.

"Shall we go, then?" Zuko asked, offering her his arm.

Hau was waiting for them at the balcony, and Katara could hear the din of the crowd below. The courtyard would be full. She was sure people had even travelled from nearby cities to hear the announcement.

"It takes a bit of getting used to," Zuko said, accepting a paper from Hau.

"I don't know that I'll ever get used to this."

"Trust me, you will."

Katara leaned her head on Zuko's shoulder as she read over the main points of their speech one last time. This was one of the biggest statements that they'd ever make.

When they stepped out on the balcony, the crowd erupted in cheers, and a little more of the anxiety slipped away, loosening that knot in her stomach. Zuko smiled brightly at her, and Katara gave his arm a squeeze.

"Today," Zuko said as the cheers died down, "the Fire Nation is one step closer to having a Fire Lady again. I seek balance in the way I govern my nation, in my bending, and in my personal life. Katara is not my opposite; she is my equal and she moves as I move, breathes as I breathe. She matches me in passion, sincerity, bending, and a desire for justice. I can think of no one else I would rather spend my life with."

Halfway through his speech, Zuko had turned to face her slightly, and there was such warmth and love in his eyes. His arm encircled her waist, and she was all too happy to step closer to him. She wondered if it would be too much to kiss him just then.

"Today," Zuko continued, "I announce my engagement to Katara of the Southern Water Tribe."

"It's about damn time!" someone shouted.

The crowd was silent a beat before cheering again. Katara and Zuko shared confused glances, and she wondered just who that had been. Certainly, it wasn't their family; everyone was watching them from the room behind the balcony. Katara did not miss that there were some noises of discontent mixed in with the cheers. She tried to remind herself that they could not please everyone, that they shouldn't even try. Still, it depended on who was doing the booing. Some people's boos would undoubtedly be more troublesome than others.

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that," Katara said as they waited for the noise to die down again.

"That's better than people throwing things at us. It could have been a lot worse."

Zuko signaled for silence, and the cheering faded away.

"The Fire Nation has become my home," Katara said. "I will always love the South, but I know that it's in good hands. As Fire Lady, you have my word that I will fight for the Fire Nation, that I will always act with its best interests in mind. My heart is here, in the Fire Nation. And with Zuko."

Katara could have kicked herself for blushing, thankful that they were so far above the crowd. Only a few guards would be able to see her blush. Announcing your love for someone in front of an entire city was a big thing. It was so public. Zuko squeezed her tighter as her heart raced. She had a feeling that the intrusions and unwelcome suggestions would kick up big time after this.

* * *

><p>"Aang?"<p>

"I'm leaving for Ba Sing Se in the morning."

Katara hugged her elbows as she stared at Aang's back. She didn't dare to cross the threshold into his room, trying to keep in mind what Ursa said. He needed time to adjust the way that he saw the world. She wanted her old, fun loving Aang back. She didn't want them to separate on such bad terms.

"I just wanted to say—"

"That you're sorry? I get it, Katara. You're sorry. You can stop saying it now."

"Actually, that's _not_ what I was going to say." Katara tugged at her hair. "I wanted to say that I do care about you. I have always cared about you, and I _will_ always care about you. No matter how you may feel about me."

"I don't know how I feel about you," Aang said quietly.

"And…" Katara gulped. "And that's fine. You don't have to feel anything about me right now."

Aang stopped packing and leaned forward, his hands resting on his bed, his back still to her. His shoulders shook a few times, but if he was crying, he made no noise. They stood in a long, awkward silence, and Katara shuffled from foot to foot, unsure if she should say something else. Aang had never handled rejection well, and this was probably the biggest rejection he'd had. It was his love for her that had kept him from going into the Avatar state so many times when they were younger. He had believed so strongly in everything that was them. Katara had honestly tried to love Aang in the way that he loved her, but in the end, she'd loved someone else more.

"I just want you to forgive me—"

"Hasn't this whole thing been about what _you_ wanted? What about what I want, Katara?"

She winced at his harsh tone, but she didn't wilt. She'd thought a lot about what Ursa said.

"I regret what happened when Zuko and I chose not to say anything about our relationship. I'm not sorry that I love Zuko. I'm not sorry that I'm marrying him."

"Good for you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Katara clenched her fists, reminding herself that this was new for Aang, that he was entitled to be angry while he sorted himself out. She tried to remember that it had only been a few days, and he had to see her and Zuko be close and snuggly at times. She wouldn't have acted any differently if they'd been in different positions, and it would be wrong for her to judge him now.

"For what it's worth," she said, turning to leave, "I would have married you."

"Then why didn't you?"

"You never asked."

She slammed his door behind her.

* * *

><p>Heeeeeey! I'm not dead! This story's not dead! But we've only got two more chapters, so boo. Anyway, there have been some major changes for the better in my life recently, and I'm trying to adjust my time accordingly, but I've definitely let the fandom slide. But I spent too much time on this story to not finish it. So, here's another chapter. I thought there needed to be some sort of public address, so there was. Mostly because I imagine that the Fire Lord has to let the people know about his engagement in some way. Also, I wholeheartedly believe that, if he had asked earlier, Katara would have married Aang. But he wasn't ready. That speaks to them being in different places emotionally. When he's finally ready, well...she's moved on. But we're so close to the end, folks!<p> 


	31. Returning to Normal

Outside, rain fell in one of those early summer downpours, soaking the world, and the breeze that blew through the window was cooled by the storm. Inside, under the hands of her firebending fiancé, Katara was quite warm and comfortable. His hands moved smoothly and expertly over her exposed back, easing away the tension of the past few months. Katara moaned as his hands returned to her lower back, applying a little more pressure and heat. She nestled down into her pillows, almost like she was liquefying. Forget going to the palace spa; so long as she had Zuko, she didn't need anything else.

"Am I done?" he asked.

"No."

As far as she was concerned, he would never be done.

"We have to go to sleep sometime, you know."

Truthfully, Katara didn't want to go to sleep. In the morning, everything would fade away like a dream. So much had happened in such a short time. Emotions ran high, hurtful things were said, and now, everyone was dissipating. Aang was leaving for Ba Sing Se, and by the afternoon, their family would be back on their ship, returning to the South. The day after, Ty Lee would catch her ship for Kiyoshi, since she'd used up the bulk of her vacation time, and Toph would probably be leaving within the week for Gaoling. She still needed to make up that yearly parental visit that she skipped in order to babysit Zuko. Everyone would get together again for Suki and Sokka's wedding, but that wouldn't likely be for a whole year. And there was still too much bad blood between them.

"What's on your mind?" Zuko asked, lying down beside her and brushing her hair away from her face.

"Everyone's leaving."

Zuko kissed her neck, pulling her against him, and it felt good to pressed against his warmth, to know that she no longer had to care about going into his room publicly, or worry about being found there in the morning. She'd dreamed about the way it would feel to have him waiting in bed for her every night. It felt good to have him there, and at least they'd have each other.

"They're coming back, though." Zuko said. "Well, not really. We'll actually be going to them, but it's all the same in the end."

Zuko gave her that little lopsided grin of his, and it was infectious, and Katara started smiling, too. She kissed him because he was a dork, and sometimes he just babbled. She held his face and kissed him because she loved him and his dorkiness. She kissed him just because she liked the feel of his lips on her, and because she liked the way he trailed his hand down her spine to rest on her waist and pull her closer. She liked the way he always wanted to be closer to her, and that with him, she didn't have to worry. They would always manage.

"Maybe I should cuddle you more often," Zuko said when she pulled away.

Katara giggled because Zuko always wanted to cuddle. She wasn't going to tell him no, but she rewarded him with a deeper kiss running her hands along his chest, dragging her nails lightly over him. She loved the way Zuko always pushed into her when she did that. She moaned a little when he started tracing circles around her belly button. He moved his kisses down her neck, and Katara grabbed a fistful of his hair as he flicked his tongue along her pulse.

"Hey jerkebender…oh! Ew! Gross!"

"Dammit, Sokka!"

Katara snatched the sheets to cover herself, wanting nothing more than to just disappear. Or hurt Sokka. Probably hurt Sokka, then disappear.

"I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation about you knocking before, Sokka," Zuko said, as he shifted their positions so Katara would be under him and not be so exposed.

"I did knock—"

"You have to wait for someone to answer!" Katara yelled, throwing a pillow at Sokka. "Now get out!"

Maybe having some alone time wouldn't be such a bad thing.

* * *

><p>The goodbyes started all too soon, and saying goodbye to Aang was bittersweet. Katara kept quiet mostly, sitting off to the side and familiarizing herself with Zuko's schedules while he talked with Aang. Fire Lord to Avatar.<p>

"I hope you were able to find everything you needed," Zuko said, leaning back in his chair.

"I did. This should be enough to get Kuei going again. Sokka was a big help, too."

Zuko winced. "I just hope you ignore some of his more…eccentric plans."

Aang shrugged and looked away. "I'm not ruling anything out right now."

Their silences were less tense than they had been before, but Katara noticed that they weren't exactly looking at each other. When propriety required that they face each other, Zuko would look at something beyond Aang, but Katara noticed slight a downward twitch of Zuko's mouth whenever his eyes passed over Aang. She sighed. Things were bound to be like this for a while. At least until they could have an honest conversation between the three of them that didn't devolve into yelling or a bending match. Katara fought against a smile. Or maybe a bending match was what they needed. They hadn't had one of those in a long time.

"So. I should get going," Aang said, standing.

"Wait," Zuko said, standing with Aang, his voice slightly apprehensive. "I just wanted to apologize. Things got out of hand, and they shouldn't have."

Aang nodded, looking at his shoes, his shoulders slumped. "Yeah. They did."

"We'll manage, though," Katara chimed in, feeling like she had to keep the positive momentum going. "We've gone through tougher things."

Aang's smile was sad, and he opened his mouth and took a breath like he was going to say something. His eyes flicked up to Zuko, and he changed his mind, deflating a little more.

* * *

><p>They walked with him to the stables where the rest of the family was waiting. Zuko and Katara stood a bit apart from the group, and Aang seemed to relax. The remaining tension in his shoulders went away as he hugged Gran and Pakku. He laughed at one of Sokka's jokes. He tried to hug Toph, but she gave him a punch in the arm instead. When Aang got to Azula, she only gave him a warning look, and he backed away, moving to hug Ty Lee instead. It wasn't long before Appa was getting smaller and smaller in the sky.<p>

Too quickly after Aang's departure, Katara was standing on the docks as their family boarded the ship. Hakoda was standing in front of her and Zuko, his arms crossed.

"If I go home and find gray hairs because of the two of you…" He fixed them both with firm stares, but Katara couldn't help smiling.

"I'll miss you, too, dad."

Katara clung to her father as if it was the last time she'd see him. Hakoda held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. When he turned to Zuko, he pulled him into a full hug, forgoing the arm clasp.

"Take care of yourself, ok?" Hakoda said, holding Zuko at arm's length. "I don't want to hear about you not eating and staying up all night and all that other nonsense."

Zuko smiled. "It's not like Katara would let me."

"You got that right."

Hakoda laughed and slapped Zuko on the back, stepping away so Gran could say her goodbyes.

"Now, when you're planning the wedding you'll also have in the South," she said. "You'll want to avoid the spring. Weather gets a bit unpredictable then."

"Wait, I get two weddings?" Katara asked, looking at Zuko. He looked just as surprised.

"You're still a daughter of the South," Gran said, smiling slyly. "I'll be waiting for instructions on the preparations."

"But—"

"No buts," she said, cutting Zuko off. She patted his cheek before boarding the boat.

Toph laughed loudly, punching Zuko in the back. "Man, you just got handled!"

They all stood on the dock, waving at the ship until it disappeared on the horizon. That was the way things went, though. The time spent together is never enough, and too quickly, it felt like everyone was gone.

* * *

><p>Back at the palace, everything seemed larger. There were more spaces that needed to be filled, and less people to fill them. Katara stood in one of the hallways on the residential floor. It was eerie how silent it was. Only the day before, Toph and Sokka were having some extreme arm wrestling tournament.<p>

Time was fighting against her. When her family was there, they were beset by one trouble after another, and she felt like their time together would never end. But when it did end, it _ended_, and quickly.

"Princess?"

Katara turned to find one of the secretaries bowing at her.

"The council will convene in five minutes."

Katara nodded, and the woman bowed again, heading back down the hall. Her family had barely left, and already she was being called to duty. She smiled and started walking toward the council chamber. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. Her life had been chaotic recently, and she wondered what would happen to her and Zuko as things settled down.

Or, at least, settled down as much as they could for the moment. There were still decisions on Ina and Kin, and Chem's entourage. There were now two weddings, and an official engagement party in the Fire Nation. Not to mention the Ozai supporters who'd briefly come out of hiding, and finding out if those council members who'd wanted to exploit their power were serious. There would be stress and no rest, and she and Zuko would have to remain strong through it all.

As she opened the doors to the council room and the council bowed to her, Katara felt a surge of power that she had no right to feel. Zuko waited for her at the other end of the table, and as she sat in the chair that matched his, the shape of the Fire Lady's crown rising above her head, Katara knew she could never fade into nothing. This was where she belonged.

"Shall we begin?"

* * *

><p>This last line, and really, this whole last section, was very satisfying for me to write. There's no more fading away for Katara, and her being Fire Lady doesn't mean that she has to give up the South. Things might not be perfect in the Gaang, but there was bound to be some drifting as they aged and they grew closer or more distant from one another. Important lessons were learned, feelings were hurt, there was joy and sorrow and pain. It was a satisfying (and long) journey, and I'm glad you've all stuck around for the whole thing. This is the last full chapter of the story, and the only thing that's left to post is the epilogue. You guys rock so much!<p>

So long, and thanks for all the fish.


	32. You and I

Zuko was reclining in the palace gardens, and Katara snuggled up to his side. He was humming tunelessly, but not unpleasantly. She sighed contentedly, slipping her hand under his shirt and running her hand along his chest.

"Feeling a little frisky, are we?" he asked.

Katara opened one eye to look at him. He was smiling down at her.

"You would like that, wouldn't you?"

Zuko laughed. "I wouldn't mind."

Katara pulled herself up so that their faces were inches apart. When he moved to bridge the gap between them, she pulled back, teasing him just a little. He let out a huff of protest, and Katara pecked him lightly. This time, when she tried to pull away, placed his hand at the back of her neck, keeping her from moving too far. He kissed her gently, then more intensely, running his tongue over her lips, and she pulled her legs up on either side of him as he caressed her tongue. This time, Katara didn't care about obscene noises or groping. She held his face in her hands and couldn't care less if someone walked out and saw them making out.

It was nearly a month after the Chem fiasco, and Katara would not pretend that life was going to get easier for them. Bo's trial and sentencing was coming up, they were still interrogating Ina and Kin, though that case had taken a turn for the better, and Long and Inara were now part of the city watch. It was a good, productive month. Busy, but Katara had loved every minute of it.

"You know," Zuko said as Katara moved her kisses down his neck, "we still have to write Gran about the wedding. If we don't, she'll start planning it for us."

Katara laughed, sitting up and throwing her head back. She could just imagine her grandmother planning their wedding.

"I think Gran would do her best," Katara said, running her hands over Zuko's chest.

He raised his eyebrow. "Really? Because I think she'd do something just to punish us."

Katara shrugged. "The important part is that, at the end of it all, you and I will officially be married. Get rid of me now, because after that you're stuck with me."

She leaned down for another round of kissing, indulging in all that she missed so long as people were around and interrupting their private moments as further punishment. Zuko pushed himself into a sitting position, never breaking their kiss, positioning her in his lap. This time, he trailed kisses down her neck, stopping at the opening of her dress.

"If I got rid of you, I'd be awfully lonely."

Katara giggled when she felt his tongue on her collarbone.

"You'd miss me too much if I went away."

"I would."

There was a lull in the conversation that was filled with kissing, and Zuko sliding his hands up her dress, running them along her legs. They were back to fighting for dominance in their kiss.

"Would you really be ok with Gran planning our Southern wedding?" Zuko asked between small pecks.

"Absolutely not."

Zuko chuckled. "Do I need to add 'No Wedding Planning in Bed' to the rules?"

Katara playfully shoved his shoulder, and this led to a shoving battle, which lead to them rolling around in the grass. Katara squealed as she wound up on her back, her dress nearly falling open.

"Nephew, that's not what gardens are for."

Both turned around, lightning fast to see Iroh standing and smiling slyly, his hands behind his back. Blushing, Katara righted her dress as Zuko brushed himself off.

"The sages and the wedding committee have convened," Iroh said laughing. "I thought you might want to attend."

* * *

><p>And that, my friends, is that. I wanted to end on a nice, sweet note, and hopefully it felt nice and sweet. And leave it to Uncle to come and ruin a moment. This was a fun and interesting journey, writing this story. It certainly turned out far longer than I expected, but I'm glad that you all stuck with me and read through to the end. Thank you so much for all of your reviews and the love you've sent this story. You're all amazing! <p>


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